at a loss for words...really need all the help and support we can get right now please...

[emilina22]

my boyfriend comes from a very big family he has 19 brothers and sisters and before we started dating one of his older brothers had passed away...the family took that loss verry hard considering that brotehr has been the first loss for the family.

about a year and a half ago one of his older sisters was diagnosed with a very very rare form of cancer...which began in th cheek below the eye and began to spread through out her whole body.

she was been in and out of the hospital becasue of how rare this cancer was...about 6 months ago the doctors decided that there was nothng more that they can do for her..that they had done everything they could do and it was up to god to decide what came next in her life...the whole family relyed on faith adn prayer and this is what brought her through all this suffering and pain.

she was in her 30''s and has 3 children a boy 7, a girl 5, and another son (which the doctors said she would not be able to cary and that he woul dnot last through out teh pregnancy becasue she was pregnant during the early stages of her cancer) almost a year old.

this morning my boyfreidn was on his way home from work with his brother when we were on the phone and he said he was getting another call and so we hung up

that other call was the one saying that his sister has passed away...

she died peacefully this mornig in her home....

i dont know what to do....

help...

 

[Larie]

I am so sorry for your loss. Being there for your boyfriend and his family is probably the best thing that you can do. I am sure that you are all feeling immense pain and loss but know that your love and support will mean the world to your boyfriend. The next few weeks/months will be very chaotic for the family so be sure to make yourself available to help with anything that may need helping. Taking care of meals for the family, babysitting, etc. may seem like small tasks but it is one less thing that they will have to worry about and will take a great load off of them. I will keep you all in my prayers and I wish the best for you all.

-Larie

 

[DMBsGirl]

I am so very sorry to hear about this. My condolences to you, your boyfriend and his family.

 

[Delster]

I''m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend''s loss. Everything Larie says is good advice. Just be there and be available to them. They will need you. Also, the magnitude of the loss may not hit your boyfriend for quite some time. But I''m sure you know that.

Sending prayers, take care.

 

[Love in Bloom]

I''m so sorry to hear that Emilina. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boyfriend, and his family.

 

[snlee]

emilina, I''m so sorry to hear this. My condolences to you, your bf, and his family.

 

[Haven]

Oh, Emilina, I am so sorry to hear about your tragic loss. I echo the sage advice you''ve received already from others, and please know that you and your boyfriend''s family will be in my prayers.

Condolences.

 

[princesss]

Oh, Emilina, I''m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend''s loss. It is hard to watch people you love suffer any kind of pain, but as Larie said, the best thing you can do for him and his family is be available. His family will be in my prayers, as will you.

 

[emilina22]

it didnt hit me until we went to dinner with his brother nad his dad tonight (they were the only ones that didnt want to be alone) and we were waiting for our table and i just look at his dad which he is getting close to 80....

i look at him and i think "this man just lost one of his daughters" it then hit me that this woman was amazing she was a friend a sister, a daughter, a mentor, an inspiration, she was amazing...

i then begin to cry...and have been crying on and off since then....

there are so many things i would have done differently....

there were so many time were we could have gone to see her but we went out with friends instead....so many times where he wanted to go by but i was dumb enough to think that she didnt want company becasue she was in such bad state, when in reality she wanted peoples company especially for my boyfriends, her brothers, and in a way i am to blame for him not seeing her

she was there for every one and now i feel like i could have done more and its too late....

i know this week ill take out the kids, they are such amazing kids...we saw them tonigt and they are so calm, and they are so innocent ...

its so hard to realize that shes not coming back...we always said she would be the one doing our flowers and invites for our wedding and now shes gone...she was going to be by mysiede through everything....and i was barley there for her....

thanks guys for listening

 

[bee*]

Im so sorry to hear that. You really cannot blame yourself though in any way for your bf not seeing her more. Just be there for him and support him-even if it means sitting quietly by him just holding his hand or if he wants to speak about her. That''s such terrible news.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I am so sorry to hear this sad news. But you need to let the guilty feelings go. She had a very large family and I am sure she would have been more than overwhelmed if they had all hung out there all the time during her illness. I am sure she wanted time with her husband, children, and parents the most. I think it will be wonderful for the brother-in-law to have plenty of help with the children. I am sure that is what this young mother would want most of all.

 

[IrishAngel7982]

I''m so sorry for your loss. Your bf''s family will be in my prayers. Take it one day at a time...

 

[RoseAngel04]

I''m so sorry to hear of your bf''s loss. My thoughts and prayer are with you and his family in this time of loss...

 

[emilina22]

thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers....please keep us in them still

ester truely was an angel among us...always there for comfort and encouragement...and defietly for a good laugh when your dasy been tough....

i remember 2 christmas'' ago my bf and i decided to go out and get gifts for her kids becaue we knew that they wouldnt be able to get gifts that year since thats when they first found out about the cancer....and i remember walking into their home adn seeing not only the kids faces light up but also esters becasue we were the only ones to buy her kids gifts that year excpet for what her and her husband were able to get them...and we did it again this past year too....and im so glad we made that choice ...i love those kids like they were my younger brothers and sister....this weeks gonna be tough...

the wake is this coming wen. and the funeral thursday.

im sure this coming week will be the hardest on everyone with in the family and extended family...so please keep us in your prayers... thats what we really need right now....

 

[diamondfan]

What a terrible loss to all who love her. I am so sorry for his family and her children and husband. I just hate these stories, they make me so upset. But at least there is a large support network to help one another...hugs and condolences to you all. And try not to be so tough on yourself. I am sure you did not act maliciously. Sometimes someone who is ill does not want a lot of company, each person is so different, and you would not want to be intruding. With so many in her family I am sure she always had someone there with her, assuming they lived near to her. Her kids and hubby will certainly need you now, and it is fine to say, I am here if you need me and please do not hesitate to call. Keep in mind though since he is grieving he might not know what he wants at a given moment, and just showing up with dinner or to help with laundry or take the kids out can be so important right now. They might need stuff for summer or need to be taken to a birthday party and need the gift picked out, etc, everyday life things a mom would do, so it is so nice to be there for him if you can be.

 

[JenStone]

I''m so sorry emilina...my thoughts and prayers are with you, your boyfriend, and his family....

 

[princesss]

Emilina,

I belong to another message board filled with wonderful men and women who would be more than willing to put you, your boyfriend, and his family in their prayers. May I post about this on there?

 

[Independent Gal]

So sorry for your loss, Emilina. I, too, will keep you and your bf and his family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[emilina22]

princess- definetly and if you can give me the link to that board that would be helpful too,....

thank you once again everyone...we are all truely appricative of all your support and prayers...

has anyone else ever gone through a loss like this before...advice would be helpful during this time....thnks

 

[princesss]

Here you go, Emilina:

LOL Kirk

 

[Independent Gal]

Emilina, I''m sure many of us have gone through loss and can offer some advice. Here''s what I can tell you helps me if I lose someone I love. I''m sure different things work for different people!

First, I try to remember that sickness, death, and loss are part of life. We have a way of looking at these things as aberrations, as life ''gone wrong'', but we will all suffer loss, we will all suffer disease, and we will all die. That is a natural part of a full human life. Seeing it from this perspective can diminish the ''anger'' part of it. These are things which happen. Even too young. Even through accidents. Even against the odds. It may seem horribly ''not fair'' but if you can bring yourself to see it as part of the big picture of what human experience and human life are all about, that can make you feel more peaceful about it.

The other thing that helps me, beyond having a good sense of perspective, is to find ways to remember the person. You can think of her very best qualities, and try to incorporate them into yourself. For example, was she very generous or very kind? Try to be even more generous than you already are and think of her each time you are.

You can also give a little money to a cause that was important to her, as a tribute to her memory.

Talking about the person also helps. Remember wonderful times you had together, things she achieved, etc.

Take good care of yourself and your BF.

 

[Skippy123]

I am so sorry. Lossing a loved one is very very hard but even harder when they are so young. Love and prayers outgoing.

 

[Kristie76]

I''m sorry for your loss. I know it''s hard to deal with. But hang in there. Time will heal your heartache. I lost my Mother (she''s also my bestfriend) at age of 19, and I know how hard it is to go through this life and death thing. But hang in there, try to take care of yourself, and also try to be there for your boyfriend. He''s suffering and he needs your support.
*hugs*

 

[bronniejade]

Emillina,

Yourself, your boyfriend and all those in both of your families will be in my prayers.

Stay strong.

 

[btrflygrl23]

I''m so sorry to hear about your BF''s sister, my deepest sympathies to you and your BF during this very hard time. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers. The best thing you can do now is be there for him and listen if he needs to talk and comfort him. I think his sister was very brave to fight the cancer the whole way. My heart goes out to her little ones, I''m sure your BF''s large and no doubt supportive family will rally around them and comfort them.

 

[emilina22]

once again i thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being so thoughtful adn keeping us all your prayers...

today is the wake service and tomorrow the funeral...

sp please just keep praying for his family especially her husbadnd and parents...they truely are going trhough alot right now....thanks everyone again...

heres the link to some of her pictures posted on our churchs website...i know all the words are in romanian but at least you may be able to get a sense of just how amazing this woman was...
http://philarom.com/index.php?module=pagemaster&PAGE_user_op=view_page&PAGE_id=50

if this is against pricescope rules i totally understand....

thanks again for all your encouraging words everyone

 

[dianne]

Sending prayers for comfort for the family during this difficult time. Be blessed.

 

[emilina22]

last night was the funeral and it was such a nice service...our church holds up to 900 people easy but there were so many people that they had to pull out folding hairs up into the hallways almost there were a good 2000 people if not more in attendence

the church also raised 24,000 dollars for my future sister in law''s (which is how i see her) husband and children, 24,000!!

thank you all for your prayers and comforting words, although god has put us in front of this trial he is also working wonders thank you everyone so much once again....

although i wasnt upstairs next to my BF last night during the service i was downstairs taking care of his neice which is disabled so that her mom (my other future sister in law) would be able to be upstairs with her family at that time....it felt good to be able to do something to help out..

 

[diamondfan]

I am sure you have been very supportive and that they all appreciate it.

I looked at the photos, she seemed to radiate something so lovely and warm in her smile. I am sorry for her kids, and think it is great that they raised that money, I am sure it will come in handy.

Just keep up what you are doing. They will need a lot in the coming months.