- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
Tacori - I think the attitude of realizing that you will never fully understand why people do what they do is healthy, and good for you. We can never change other people, we can only influence them (and that''s if they want to be influenced.)
Haven - that''s what I started to wonder - whether I was being an ungracious host. But I think we''ve been polite about the way we tell people things and I do "curve my ways" to accommodate the fact that not everyone is like DH and I. Like I said earlier, people don''t realize they''re careless because in their eyes they''re just fine. But if they were coming from the right place, then they wouldn''t make comments. That''s where the respect comes in. If I need to accept them for how they are, shouldn''t they also accept me? And, they also have a choice - if I had a friend who was really anal about something (i.e., the dishwasher) and I found it really difficult to load it exactly like she wanted it, I would help to offer with someone else. I think if overall she treats me nicely when I am in her home and makes me feel welcome, her having "rules" wouldn''t make me think she''s being ungracious.
Miracles - I think on some levels, that''s what it is for me. It''s my house and I want them to respect that I might do things different than how they do them - and that "taking over" is not OK with me, or with DH. Maybe it''s some pent up "establish myself as an adult in my parents'' eyes" thing.
Haven - that''s what I started to wonder - whether I was being an ungracious host. But I think we''ve been polite about the way we tell people things and I do "curve my ways" to accommodate the fact that not everyone is like DH and I. Like I said earlier, people don''t realize they''re careless because in their eyes they''re just fine. But if they were coming from the right place, then they wouldn''t make comments. That''s where the respect comes in. If I need to accept them for how they are, shouldn''t they also accept me? And, they also have a choice - if I had a friend who was really anal about something (i.e., the dishwasher) and I found it really difficult to load it exactly like she wanted it, I would help to offer with someone else. I think if overall she treats me nicely when I am in her home and makes me feel welcome, her having "rules" wouldn''t make me think she''s being ungracious.
Miracles - I think on some levels, that''s what it is for me. It''s my house and I want them to respect that I might do things different than how they do them - and that "taking over" is not OK with me, or with DH. Maybe it''s some pent up "establish myself as an adult in my parents'' eyes" thing.