Anyone else ever feel like this?

[anchor31]

Thanks everyone! I was just really surprised when he said he''d sell his car to buy my ring if things get tough...

Sometimes I wonder how it can be this hard to save up 2k, but then again I''m not aware of his exact financial situation as we don''t live together.

 

[Mandarine]

I was also feeling guilty about the price....(and still do)....so yesterday as we were having a conversation about rings...and he was asking me questions...I just casulaly said I didn''t need him to spend a ridiculous amount of money. At the end of the day, it is a symbol....and that''s what matters (to me).

So he was asking me about sizes (specific to our friend''s rings)...one of them has a 2+ carat ring...I said I thought that was too big....then he asked me about another friend that has a 1.6...I said that was still pretty big....so anyway...after the conversation I felt better because I think he knows I''ll be happy with a 1-1.5 carat ring. So, if he decides to go for the 1.5 or more...then that is his decision and I wouldn''t really feel bad about it. I don''t want to feel like I pressured him into a size.

I also think there is a component of male ego here. I think he would want to get me something that compares to what his friends have gotten for their wifes. Maybe I''m wrong....but for the "guys" out there...does that ever play a role into what you decide to get??

M~

 

[Julian]

Mandarine, you are too sweet!

Your husband-to-be is a lucky guy! You're lucky, too -- considering that he's taking so much care to get your input.

Just remember, guys are still guys. They can make some boo boos trying to make us happy. If they hear, "too big" or "pretty big" then they will obediently go for something smaller because they think it's what YOU want, not because it's what THEY want.

My advice would be to ooohh and ahhh over what you like, but also say -- I don't *need* it. He should know that you'd be ecstatic with anything, but also be clear on what would make you swoon! What if he really wants to get you something big, but didn't because he thought you wanted smaller?

That actually happened to at least two of my girlfriends. The guys listened to them and got them something lovely, but much smaller than they wanted because that's what the girls told them was perfect. But inside, the girls were just being thoughtful to the men. The guys wanted to knock their girls' socks off but didn't because of the misunderstanding. They aren't mind readers... something I learned the hard way early in my relationship! Ha ha.

I say, tell them you'd be happy with anything, but also tell them what you like and what you LOVE. Then it's really up to them to be as generous as they want with your ring! I've learned to be clear about what's important to me. It makes things a lot easier on the guy and I don't ever have to think silently, "He totally would have gotten me what I wanted (and happily, too) if I had just spoken up!"

CONGRATULATIONS, by the way!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mandarine]

Thank you Julian!! That''s very sweet of you!!

I agree with what you said also. At what point he said (jokingly) "I''m leaning towards 0.5 C"...and I said "well, it that mamkes you happy"...and he said "it''s not about what makes me happy...I want to make YOU happy!"...and I said "ok....then I wouldn''t lean that way"! hahaha....that''s also why I didn''t say the 1.5 was "way too big"

I just want him to feel comfortable with what he''s spending. I know he can afford a nice size, but I would hate for him to feel like he spent more of what he is comfortable with just to make me "happy". I think after this conversation we both felt more comfortable