any diamond shrinkage survivors out there?

[headlight]

Mara,
I can honestly tell you that after going from a 1.01 to a 1.51, and then finally to my 3.29 I know this is the size for me. I see larger stones and admire them, but do not (amazingly) long for them. The 3.29 (9.59mm) is just perfect for me, IMO. I drool over other shapes and other three stone combinations, but I don''t dream of a larger stone -- finally. But that took 14 years to get to that place. I''m glad I''m finally there. I had been dreaming about upgrading the quality in that same size range, but I was just without the ring for two weeks while it was being having the shank narrowed and when I got it back I realized how beautiful it is and don''t think I''ll do that for some time. If I change it out, it is just to get a different shape but I wouldn''t do it just to upgrade the quality, at this point.
I do think that putting it away for a number of days really makes one fall in love all over again with their stone.
I am sure that once you get your 3 carat, you will be finally "home"!

 

[windy1365]

Headlight... how did you know what your perfect size diamond was going to be? Did you just get lucky, or did you try on a lot of rings?

 

[Patty]

Date: 2/22/2005 10:27:37 PM
Author: windy1365
We already have our dream house. We just relocated to Arkansas from Atlanta, Georgia. He let me pick the house... a new house, five bedrooms, basement. I had never even lived on my own before him... not even in an apartment, so it was really fun house hunting. But.... we haven''t been able to sell his house in Georgia yet, so we have two house payments right now. Plus, saving for the wedding.

I agree that the hunt is the fun part of everything in life... except, now I am stuck with a $2,500 Cavalier King Charles Spaniel that eats poop just like any other dog. I did all kinds of research and just knew that it was going to be the perfect dog and I would be happy and never want another dog. Now, I want a Japanese Chin, but my fiancee said that this one has to die off first.

The part about the dogs cracks me up. Maybe if the $2,500 dog keeps eating poop he''ll die an early death and you can get the Japanese Chin!

 

[Patty]

And as for the original question, I had diamond shrinkage the day after I got my ring, because my diamond DID shrink. We discovered an eye visible inclusion in the stone the night he gave it to me, so my husband brought it back and it was replaced with what was supposed to be the same sized stone. I always thought the new stone looked smaller, but after only having had the original stone for one day, I wasn''t sure. Thus began my diamond obsession. I wish we had gone back the very day I got the new stone. It turned out that the new diamond was smaller than it was supposed to be. We discovered this when we had the stone removed 10 years later when I upgraded. I was never so happy to see a stone go away as I was when I traded in that diamond! (with another jeweler)

Anyway, after wearing my second stone for 15 years, we recently upgraded it for a better quality but not size. So that doesn''t count as shrinkage, does it? Okay, the new one is .02c heavier and measures slightly larger b/c it''s an ideal cut.

I got an anniversary ring last year with a diamond in it that''s bigger than my wedding ring diamond. But that doesn''t count either, does it?

How am I doing here, Dancing Fire?

 

[headlight]

Date: 2/22/2005 10:56:54 PM
Author: windy1365
Headlight... how did you know what your perfect size diamond was going to be? Did you just get lucky, or did you try on a lot of rings?

I had the 1.51 and knew I wanted to go larger. I looked at 2ct, but saw that unless I went up at least a carat (to 2.5 ct), it wouldn''t be a noticeable difference. So, there I was at the 2.5 mark, and figured I might as well go the distance into the 3 category so I would really feel lilke I finally got that "rock". I looked at stones in that range and loved how it looked and felt. The stone I ended up with just happened to be 3.29ct/9.59 mm and I''m thrilled with the size.

 

[windy1365]

Jellybean... that is the saddest story about your girlfriend. I hope that doesn''t happen to me!! And, it seems like she never did learn her lesson.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 2/22/2005 11:15:14 PM
Author: Patty
And as for the original question, I had diamond shrinkage the day after I got my ring, because my diamond DID shrink. We discovered an eye visible inclusion in the stone the night he gave it to me, so my husband brought it back and it was replaced with what was supposed to be the same sized stone. I always thought the new stone looked smaller, but after only having had the original stone for one day, I wasn''t sure. Thus began my diamond obsession. I wish we had gone back the very day I got the new stone. It turned out that the new diamond was smaller than it was supposed to be. We discovered this when we had the stone removed 10 years later when I upgraded. I was never so happy to see a stone go away as I was when I traded in that diamond! (with another jeweler)

Anyway, after wearing my second stone for 15 years, we recently upgraded it for a better quality but not size. So that doesn''t count as shrinkage, does it? Okay, the new one is .02c heavier and measures slightly larger b/c it''s an ideal cut.

I got an anniversary ring last year with a diamond in it that''s bigger than my wedding ring diamond. But that doesn''t count either, does it?

How am I doing here, Dancing Fire?

Patty
like you said before,it''s the quality that counts not the size.

 

[pricescope]

....

 

[hoorray]

Whenever I start to feel shrinkage setting in, I look at my rings in the mirror rather than straight down on my hand. It always makes me realize how great and big they are.

 

[Patty]

Date: 2/23/2005 12:59:48 PM
Author: Pricescope
....

LOL.

 

[Mara]

Date: 2/22/2005 10:13:45 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 2/22/2005 12:58:56 PM
Author: Mara
There is NO CURE for shrinkage syndrome I am sorry to say. People can note very rational reasons why you should not want a bigger stone, aka house, cars, kids, life, retirement, travel, bills...but it does not help your MENTAL STATE of drooling over the bigger diamonds and secretly dreaming about bigger stones. Trust me, I know!

In my case, I try to plan out a timeframe that works for me and my hubby and our goals, so that I can have a definitive timeline and have something to look fwd to but without being selfish and taking away from other items that are important. It gives the dreams some sort of substance and keeps you from pining away after things that are not attainable right now. It may not be right away, and sometimes a year or two away sounds SO LONG but it gives you that light at the end of the tunnel IMO.

The scary thing is that when does it really end? I want a 3c stone when all is said and done and I am only at 1.29c right now, but when I get that 3c, what if it starts to look small? Does it ever end?!

I guess maybe when I can''t lift my hand?

Mara
one thing i admire about you is, you admit you have this disease,most girls wouldn''t admit they have this disease but deep inside they know they want a bigger ROCK.

it''s like a drug addict and alcoholic they don''t want to admit they have a problem.

Oh I admit it and freely welcome it with open arms! Now, Greg...that is another matter!

 

[pqcollectibles]

Date: 2/22/2005 3:22

7 PM
Author: MichelleCarmen

Date: 2/22/2005 1:31:25 PM
Author: snlee
I agree! Opening up a secret account to buy a big diamond, secretly paying it off, and hiding it is just pain disrespectful!

You shouldn''t be married and treat your spouse like that!!

lol - this is hilarious!!!

I can''t imagine ANY husband not realizing thousands are suddenly disappearing. That said, I''m married and have a secret money stash. My husband knows I do this, but he doesn''t know where the money is or how much I''ve saved... Of course, I usually blow the money on clothes or shoes before I save up very much! lol

Don''t all women have their own little rainy day funds set aside?

I do too, MC!!

I have a seperate bank account that I set up years ago because of what my Mom went thru when my Dad died. All their joint assests, including the bank account, were frozen the moment my Dad died. My Mom couldn''t write checks for groceries or bills until the estate was settled. We were soooo stranded without cash. So, I have a tidy sum stashed just in case, God forbid, you know what happens. At least I''ll have access to cash if I need it.

Sometimes I buy things with "my" money. If it''s a big ticket item, tho, I discuss it with Hubby before I take the plunge.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 2/23/2005 2:53:43 PM
Author: pqcollectibles

I do too, MC!!

I have a seperate bank account that I set up years ago because of what my Mom went thru when my Dad died. All their joint assests, including the bank account, were frozen the moment my Dad died. My Mom couldn't write checks for groceries or bills until the estate was settled. We were soooo stranded without cash. So, I have a tidy sum stashed just in case, God forbid, you know what happens. At least I'll have access to cash if I need it.

Sometimes I buy things with 'my' money. If it's a big ticket item, tho, I discuss it with Hubby before I take the plunge.

Yes, unfortunetly what happened to your mom isn't too unusual. There was an Oprah episode dedicated on how women should protect themselves financially. Two of the main ways are to have your own bank account and to have a credit card ONLY in your name. These are ways to ensure you'll have at least some sort of credit history or "power" in case of divorce or death. Sadly, many ladies co-mingle all their money w/their husband's and this only does harm if things don't go as planned.

 

[Sashabella]

When I feel diamond "shrinkage", I consider the size of my hands. I love big stones (2-2.5 carats) but I have teeny hands. My ring size is a 5. In a stone larger than 1.2-1.3, I look quite disproportionate. I may try on a bigger ring, see how silly I look and then move on. I would also have a hard time parting with the ring my DF and I chose together. No matter how beautiful another stone would be, it would never be "the" engagement stone.

Another thing to do is price out the cost of your ideal gem. THen list a bunch of items that cost the same (car, house downpayment, mortgage payment, dream vacation, tuition). It keeps things in perspective.

 

[jellybean]

Yeah, my girlfriend''s case is sad because we''re not sure where it came from! I''ve known her since grammar school and she was never a "jewelry" person. I think she (and this is not the case with anyone else that upgrades!) doesn''t have a real stong sense of self and is using her diamond to show that she is worth something. It''s always "Look what Bill bought me!" every time we see her. Does that make sense? I think also it has to do with her MIL. She is constantly in competition with her. Her MIL recently upgraded to a 3ct radiant for her 40th wedding anniversary. My girlfriend''s husband told her that if they make it to 40 years he''ll buy her a 3ct diamond too.

 

[Rebemdee]

Since I started coming here, I''ve felt a TEEENSY bit jealous seeing all the beautiful rings, and thought my ring doesn''t match up to the absolute works of art I see here. It''s from Blue Nile, plain platinum semi bezel, no pave, no special setting, no sparkly bits. The stone is 1.01 RB, H, VS2. After looking at all the gorgeous stuff here, I think, "I wish the stone was bigger. I wish mine had sparkly bits. I wish it was ideal. I wish the setting had pave diamonds. I wish it had hearts and arrows."

Then I went back home for the weekend, and visited friends and family. In the restaurant, my friend said, "STAY STILL!" and weaved back and forth in the booth across from me, looking at the fire in my ring. Another friend said, "OH MY GOSH, that is HUGE." And my sister said, "It will last a lifetime." That put things into perspective for me. I have a beautiful ring, it''s bigger than most women get, and my sister never got an engagement ring (they were young and poor) and her marriage has lasted 14 yrs and 2 kids. I DO appreciate the absolutely beautiful diamonds here, the gorgeous settings, and have many ideas for MANY years from now. I wanted a diamond band, but we''ve decided to get a plain platinum band, and in 5 years, if we can afford it, I''ll maybe get a diamond band, but then again, maybe not. I know what I want if I get it, thanks to the discussions here. The bottom line is, if I hadn''t found pricescope I wouldn''t have as nice of a diamond as I do have, because we would have bought crap from a maul or overspent at a B&M store for less of a stone. But I also wouldn''t have diamond envy if I didn''t look at pricescope, because I wouldn''t know diamonds and carats and settings from my a** or a hole in the ground. Sometimes taking a break from pricescope helps.

SOOOOOO....I''ll continue to feel a TEENSY bit jealous, and appreciate the diamond that will be with me for the rest of my life.

 

[yeewl]

Hello,

When my bf (now hubby) first bought me my e-ring, back in 1993 during the time when we both were really poor... (he quit his job to pursue his diploma at S'pore Poly while I was preparing to study music overseas in Australia).

I was surprised and sad to find that he terminated his endowment policy to pay for his tuition fees and buy me the Gvvs1 0.438 Monnickendam diamond set in platinum ring.
And he told me not long after he proposed : 'honey, that diamond ring you are wearing now will be the 1st and the last diamond I will ever going to buy for you and you can forget about ever up-grade it too.... ( what a thing to say to a diamond crazy gal like me ?!?)

So fast foreward to late 2002. When I saw the GIA 0.82 Evs2, I told myself I GOT to have that stone, so I bought it without his knowledge and had it duplicated in the same PT setting while kept the original e-ring aside.

The only time he commented was when he was stroking my hand asking me how come his diamond has suddenly become bigger and whiter than before?? ha ha.. In a way, he felt proud after finding out that I know what I am buying and doesn't 'mind' his friends think that he 'bought' me that big bauble years ago..

At times when I felt my current diamond has shrunk in size, I just comfort myself and look around ... at least I got a 'big' one compared with other gals whose average e-ring size is only about 0.20 carat +/-.

Another way is, I wear the e-ring for a few days then change back to the bigger diamond. Then shrinkage feeling will defintely go away.

Hope it's useful to you..

 

[valeria101]

Date: 2/23/2005 6:52:56 PM
Author: jellybean

Yeah, my girlfriend''s case is sad because we''re not sure where it came from!

Who knows... but things like this happen. If it''s not diamonds other things might do as well, as long as they have something intimate to do with the relationship. It would take a hell of a diamond to compensate for the little details of every day life - if that''s not satisfactory. I hope I am wrong saying this.