Any breakups you regret?

[kittybean]

I regret not breaking up with my under-motivated, unsuitable college boyfriend sooner! I could have spent the time I wasted on him on my wonderful girlfriends and on dating more fun and interesting guys.

There is one guy I regret not giving a chance. I was too busy dealing with the emotional disaster that was the aforementioned college boyfriend to give this incredibly good-looking, sweet, smart guy a second look. I''m so happy with the way things turned out, but it''s sometimes fun to imagine how different my life might have been had I just said yes to those dinner date invitations

.

 

[Feralpenchant]

I love my SO very much, and we are planning for an engagement (well, I am, the ring has been left up to me haha) as we speak.

But one of my exes lives in the same town as me, and though I broke up with him 3 years ago, we are friends now and actually hang out sometimes. I am very happy with my life, but sometimes I wonder where I would be if I hadn't broken up with him. He is a wonderful person and we still have great chemistry, but we both know that it's all in the past, and we are both happily in relationships.

But sometimes I still think about how things would be different now, but there's no way I would change anything now.

 

[Kelli]

No regrets. I only regret that I didn''t stay friends with some of them who were actually pretty cool guys. I was friends with them first, then we started dating to find out there was no real chemistry (at least not enough for me,

) and then it ended. Should have just stayed friends in the first place.

 

[mrscushion]

No regrets. FI is the only man I ever loved, was in love with, and even really liked.

 

[arjunajane]

only that I didn''t leave them sooner and save myself the crap

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 4/16/2009 11:16:11 PM
Author: arjunajane
only that I didn't leave them sooner and save myself the crap

yeah. Me too.
I wish I could have taken a pill to keep me celibate so that I didn't have to get tangled in the first place.
That would be REAL family planning!


ETA: also wish that I'd been mature enough to recognise a genuinely nice guy when I saw one. I used to think I was pretty hip, and 'nice' guys equalled 'dull'', until I grew up!!! *shame!* I had a massive crush on my DH, but thought his lifestyle would be too boring...

 

[AdiS]

I don''t regret any of the breakups but I do regret the way I broke up with my last BF (before I met DH, that is). I think I could have been a bit more mature about the whole thing. Not that there were any scandals or fights, I just think I hurt him more than necessary.

 

[atroop711]

no breakups I regret...thank god I left. What I would tell my younger self was LEAVE NOW...I stayed around and wasted way too much time on horrible relationships because of my lack of confidence as a kid. I was stayed with a guy for 4 yrs even though my inner self was telling me that he was gay...it took me 4 yrs to get up enough nerve to end it. Thank god I did...7mo later on a last min. vacation I met my husband

 

[dani13]

Date: 4/17/2009 8:00:00 AM
Author: atroop711
no breakups I regret...thank god I left. What I would tell my younger self was LEAVE NOW...I stayed around and wasted way too much time on horrible relationships because of my lack of confidence as a kid. I was stayed with a guy for 4 yrs even though my inner self was telling me that he was gay...it took me 4 yrs to get up enough nerve to end it. Thank god I did...7mo later on a last min. vacation I met my husband

Atroop- I went through the same thing....Spent 3 yrs with my x-bf who I always knew in the bottom of my heart was gay. I finally had the nerve to break up with him, and 4 months later I started dating my husband.....I dont regret spending the time I spend with him though, we had a lot of fun together and are still great friends to this day, but 3 yrs is a long time!! UGH! Maybe it was just meant to be that way....Thank goodness I was young!

 

[atroop711]

Date: 4/17/2009 9:05:17 AM
Author: Dani

Date: 4/17/2009 8:00:00 AM

Author: atroop711

no breakups I regret...thank god I left. What I would tell my younger self was LEAVE NOW...I stayed around and wasted way too much time on horrible relationships because of my lack of confidence as a kid. I was stayed with a guy for 4 yrs even though my inner self was telling me that he was gay...it took me 4 yrs to get up enough nerve to end it. Thank god I did...7mo later on a last min. vacation I met my husband

Atroop- I went through the same thing....Spent 3 yrs with my x-bf who I always knew in the bottom of my heart was gay. I finally had the nerve to break up with him, and 4 months later I started dating my husband.....I dont regret spending the time I spend with him though, we had a lot of fun together and are still great friends to this day, but 3 yrs is a long time!! UGH! Maybe it was just meant to be that way....Thank goodness I was young!

Dani nice to hear that you guys are still friends. I wish I could say the same. I tried to maintain a friendship (even went shopping with him once for his boyfriend) but he cut me off. He did admit he was bisexual. I even invited him to my wedding since I did love him and wanted him to remain in my life BUT he told me he couldn''t watch me marry someone else. That was odd...so it''s been over 13 yrs that we haven''t seen each other. Too bad since I was a great friend to him. I just wish him happiness wherever he lives now.

 

[dani13]

Date: 4/17/2009 9:56:54 AM
Author: atroop711

Date: 4/17/2009 9:05:17 AM

Author: Dani

Date: 4/17/2009 8:00:00 AM


Author: atroop711


no breakups I regret...thank god I left. What I would tell my younger self was LEAVE NOW...I stayed around and wasted way too much time on horrible relationships because of my lack of confidence as a kid. I was stayed with a guy for 4 yrs even though my inner self was telling me that he was gay...it took me 4 yrs to get up enough nerve to end it. Thank god I did...7mo later on a last min. vacation I met my husband

Atroop- I went through the same thing....Spent 3 yrs with my x-bf who I always knew in the bottom of my heart was gay. I finally had the nerve to break up with him, and 4 months later I started dating my husband.....I dont regret spending the time I spend with him though, we had a lot of fun together and are still great friends to this day, but 3 yrs is a long time!! UGH! Maybe it was just meant to be that way....Thank goodness I was young!

Dani nice to hear that you guys are still friends. I wish I could say the same. I tried to maintain a friendship (even went shopping with him once for his boyfriend) but he cut me off. He did admit he was bisexual. I even invited him to my wedding since I did love him and wanted him to remain in my life BUT he told me he couldn't watch me marry someone else. That was odd...so it's been over 13 yrs that we haven't seen each other. Too bad since I was a great friend to him. I just wish him happiness wherever he lives now.

I know how hard that situation is, Atroop. I did go through an angry phase with my x-bf initially, but after awhile I got over it and realized that I shouldn't be upset with him, he couldnt even admit anything to himself....I knew he loved me as a person, but he was trying so hard to deny everything he was just to stay with me. When I got married, he was heartbroken. He is fully "out" now and doesnt even consider himself a bisexual. He has been in a serious relationship with a man for 3 yrs now, they live together, and he is totally happy. I am glad we stayed on good terms, b/c I truly consider him to be one of my best friends....

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 4/16/2009 3:53:51 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I regret not breaking up with them faster!


Although there is one BF that we shouldn''t have broken up in the first place, but nothing can be done now...and I wouldn''t want anything to be done now.

ha, me too. Actually i regret the way one broke up with me. Granted, he had his reasons, but for someone who put a big deal on keeping friendships, he should have been honest from the start.

Although most everyone else, i guess i just wish i had done it sooner.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 4/17/2009 6:01:45 AM
Author: AdiS
I don''t regret any of the breakups but I do regret the way I broke up with my last BF (before I met DH, that is). I think I could have been a bit more mature about the whole thing. Not that there were any scandals or fights, I just think I hurt him more than necessary.

I feel exactly the same about the guy I dated before DH!

I also had doubts about my relationship with DH after we had been together for 4 years. I broke up with him and we were apart for about 6 months. Getting back together and was actually nearly as difficult as the break-up itself and it took us a long time to get past it, but I think that it was actually the best way for it to happen. We had to work really hard at it, and the fact that we made it though showed me that we could make it through anything.

 

[vespergirl]

I regret one. I met my "soul mate" freshman year of college, when I was 17. We dated happily for over a year, but then I cheated on him. He took me back & we were happy for another 6 months before I cheated again. He couldn''t forgive me that time, and I don''t blame him. I was too immature at that age for such a serious relationship and still wanted to "experience the world" without being tied down, whereas he was ready for us to move in together and start our life together. Out of all my relationships, he was the only man who I really felt understood me innately and loved me unconditionally. I used to wish that we had met 10 years later.

However, when I met my DH, I had a feeling that I had met my "life mate", and he told me that he felt the same way. Our relationship just felt so easy, and we both wanted the same things, marriage and parenthood. We have now been together 5 years (married 3) and are very happy. I think that sometimes you meet people that are right for you at different times in your life.

 

[MishB]

When I was very young I was madly in love with my sister''s best friend who was a good friend of the family, he was a little older so it started as a crush, but we had an on-off romance through most of my early 20''s. I always thought that somehow we''d end up together and we''d live happily ever after. We were both involved with other people (he married and divorced) but I thought it was written in the stars. He committed suicide quite a few years ago, and although I accept now that it would never have worked out, I have a huge sense of never getting closure, and closure I am never, ever going to get. Even though I am now very happily married, I still have very intense and sad dreams about him.

 

[Porridge]

Wow Mish that''s awful, I''m so sorry to hear that.

 

[DearBuddha]

I regret the two breaks my GH and I took during our dating days.

The first was six months in: we were still in high school and I wasn''t ready to be "serious" with anyone. We got back together three months later.

The second was in college: I went through a stage of severe jealousy (he had a toxic friend who made me nuts). He broke up with me because "I was crazy" (and I was). It lasted a night, and we were back together the next day. The friend disappeared soon after

Our relationship has been solid ever since, and we''ll see our 10-year anniversary (of being together-one year married is in July!) in October.

I''m not normally a jealous person; he has a few lady friends that I love and encourage him to keep in contact with (and vice versa). I think it''s healthy to respect the ties a person came into the relationship with.

 

[LadyBlue]

I don''t have any regrets, even tought they were great guys, if I had not break up with them, I would not being with my hubby now, so I would not change anything from my past.

 

[misskitty]

I don''t regret ending any past relationships, but I do regret HOW I ended some of them. I broke up with one guy over the phone because I was too chicken to end things in person. Oops. I also was very cruel and wrote out a 4-page list to an ex about why he was being dumped -- talk about salt in the wound!

 

[princesss]

No breakups I regret.

I did have doubts about my current relationship about a month and a half ago. We took a 2 week break, and it allowed me time to get my head on straight and realize what I want and that this is the relationship I want right now. I feel much better about it, because I had a chance to analyze everything and reevaluate and realize that I still want to be in this relationship. I was worried I was just going along with it out of habit, and I got antsy. Having time apart from him to clear my head made a huge difference, and I''m happier than ever (and getting happier every day).

 

[Porridge]

I''m so glad to hear these stories about working through a problem and coming out better. I''m a huge believer in this. I mean, I know it''s also good to walk away when something just isn''t good, but it''s also important to realise when something is good, and what''s wrong isn''t bad enough to leave over. Getting some space and clearing your head is a great way to do it. Thanks guys. My friend is planning to take 2 more weeks (until exams are over) and if she feels the same, and he still does, then they''ll give it another shot. I hope it works...they''re a great couple.