Another very overcooked LIW

[nkarma]

We both entered the move in phase with the fact that it was sort of tryout for getting married and so we could work everything out. You know the whole you never know someone until you live with them thing. I was the one who delayed us moving in together too. He had asked a year before that but I honestly don't think we were ready and we wouldn't have been ready for an engagement either. But now that I have realized I am ready (6 months ago!), it's hard to keep waiting. I know it was both of our intentions for living together to be a stepping stone and we will find that out when he proposes. Like I said I very much know he will, but my patience has really got the best of me though. I think the whole looking at diamonds on here and just wanting to know this is for real so I can move on with my life or not. AND that Harry met Sally quote that ringless has.....sooooooo true!!!

We shall see. My original deadline was August (the one year thing), but we talked in July and he said the end of the year. I don't think extending it a few months so he can plan the proposal or whatever he needs to do is excessive. And if he does not propose and I move out, it will be over and I will not take a proposal then. That is the worst way to start a life together in my opinion. I am sure it worked out for lots, but I would always doubt everything.

I have to say you girls are funny. Everyone on here is waiting for some reason and I think knows they are with the right and decent man (which is why they want to get married in the first place and are willing to wait). But when someone gets frustrated, it's like dump him or set that internal deadline and move. Look at how many people posted their frustration on here and then a week later there was the "I am engaged" thread. Absolutblonde rings a bell for me in that sense. What I really needed was a chill the hell out, you have loved the guy for 7 years a few more months won't hurt you and that is what I found. My original post may not have portrayed that though cause I was uber frustrated.

Ok thanks for everyones responses. I truly appreciate this forum because it nice to see that I am not crazy and a lot of people go through this. I think the men are utterly clueless with how annoying this is sometimes for us girls.

Happy Friday!!!!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 9/18/2009 1:15:22 PM
Author: nkarma
We both entered the move in phase with the fact that it was sort of tryout for getting married and so we could work everything out. You know the whole you never know someone until you live with them thing. I was the one who delayed us moving in together too. He had asked a year before that but I honestly don''t think we were ready and we wouldn''t have been ready for an engagement either. But now that I have realized I am ready (6 months ago!), it''s hard to keep waiting. I know it was both of our intentions for living together to be a stepping stone and we will find that out when he proposes. Like I said I very much know he will, but my patience has really got the best of me though. I think the whole looking at diamonds on here and just wanting to know this is for real so I can move on with my life or not. AND that Harry met Sally quote that ringless has.....sooooooo true!!!

We shall see. My original deadline was August (the one year thing), but we talked in July and he said the end of the year. I don''t think extending it a few months so he can plan the proposal or whatever he needs to do is excessive. And if he does not propose and I move out, it will be over and I will not take a proposal then. That is the worst way to start a life together in my opinion. I am sure it worked out for lots, but I would always doubt everything.

I have to say you girls are funny. Everyone on here is waiting for some reason and I think knows they are with the right and decent man (which is why they want to get married in the first place and are willing to wait). But when someone gets frustrated, it''s like dump him or set that internal deadline and move. Look at how many people posted their frustration on here and then a week later there was the ''I am engaged'' thread. Absolutblonde rings a bell for me in that sense. What I really needed was a chill the hell out, you have loved the guy for 7 years a few more months won''t hurt you and that is what I found. My original post may not have portrayed that though cause I was uber frustrated.

Ok thanks for everyones responses. I truly appreciate this forum because it nice to see that I am not crazy and a lot of people go through this. I think the men are utterly clueless with how annoying this is sometimes for us girls.

Happy Friday!!!!

LOL! It''s hard to give and recieve personal advice in public forums. I remember one of my first posts, and I was asking what to do in my relationship, (a question about long distance and who would/could move where) and 30-40% said I should just move on to a new relationship!

Certainly no one had ever told me that before! But sometimes the wrong advice helps you to recognize the right advice. At any rate, happy waiting! And have lots of fun in the mean time!

 

[Lozza]

Date: 9/18/2009 2:19:17 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 9/18/2009 1:15:22 PM

Author: nkarma

We both entered the move in phase with the fact that it was sort of tryout for getting married and so we could work everything out. You know the whole you never know someone until you live with them thing. I was the one who delayed us moving in together too. He had asked a year before that but I honestly don''t think we were ready and we wouldn''t have been ready for an engagement either. But now that I have realized I am ready (6 months ago!), it''s hard to keep waiting. I know it was both of our intentions for living together to be a stepping stone and we will find that out when he proposes. Like I said I very much know he will, but my patience has really got the best of me though. I think the whole looking at diamonds on here and just wanting to know this is for real so I can move on with my life or not. AND that Harry met Sally quote that ringless has.....sooooooo true!!!


We shall see. My original deadline was August (the one year thing), but we talked in July and he said the end of the year. I don''t think extending it a few months so he can plan the proposal or whatever he needs to do is excessive. And if he does not propose and I move out, it will be over and I will not take a proposal then. That is the worst way to start a life together in my opinion. I am sure it worked out for lots, but I would always doubt everything.


I have to say you girls are funny. Everyone on here is waiting for some reason and I think knows they are with the right and decent man (which is why they want to get married in the first place and are willing to wait). But when someone gets frustrated, it''s like dump him or set that internal deadline and move. Look at how many people posted their frustration on here and then a week later there was the ''I am engaged'' thread. Absolutblonde rings a bell for me in that sense. What I really needed was a chill the hell out, you have loved the guy for 7 years a few more months won''t hurt you and that is what I found. My original post may not have portrayed that though cause I was uber frustrated.


Ok thanks for everyones responses. I truly appreciate this forum because it nice to see that I am not crazy and a lot of people go through this. I think the men are utterly clueless with how annoying this is sometimes for us girls.


Happy Friday!!!!

LOL! It''s hard to give and recieve personal advice in public forums. I remember one of my first posts, and I was asking what to do in my relationship, (a question about long distance and who would/could move where) and 30-40% said I should just move on to a new relationship!

Certainly no one had ever told me that before! But sometimes the wrong advice helps you to recognize the right advice. At any rate, happy waiting! And have lots of fun in the mean time!

Oh wow! That''s crazy! But that said, I completely agree with you. When people say I shouldn''t keep waiting/shouldn''t have waited this long, it grates a bit. This confirms to me that I know I have made the right decision.

 

[nkarma]

And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn't the world's biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that's okay.

 

[ringless]

Date: 9/18/2009 6:30:58 AM
Author: kribbie

Date: 9/16/2009 6:57:00 PM
Author: Winks_Elf
Personally, I wouldn''t have moved in with him after being together for six years and no proposal, but that''s just me. Yes, you had the discussion that you expected a proposal within a year, and yet you are still waiting. After six years he should know whether or not he wants to marry you (and he says he does), so what''s the hold up?

This is just what I would do; only you know if it''s the right route for you or not. Take the test, and start saving to move out. Start looking at places on your own, and make sure he''s aware that you are doing that. When he balks, let him know: ''Remember how when I agreed to move in, YOU agreed that you''d proposed within a year? Well, that year has come and gone, and I see that your word is meaningless. I''m not willing to continue just living together. I want to be your wife, I want to know we''ll always be together, but I''m not convinced you feel the same. So, I''m making plans for me instead of us.''

I totally agree. I couldn''t have said it better myself.
What''s the hold up? Why can''t he commit to you after 7 years? He either wants to marry you or he doesn''t. Simple.
And if he rushes to propose when you are moving out, would you really want to say yes if you know that he didn''t decide to do it on his own?
It''s such a tough situation.

(((HUGS)))

I think if things were that simple, we''d all be engaged by now regardless of the amount of time we''ve been in our relationships. The timing is different for everyone, and every relationship. If I had that mentality I don''t think I''d still be anticipating an engagement and feeling as happy as I could be with my FF right now...

Hang in there girls!!

 

[ringless]

Date: 9/18/2009 11:37:36 PM
Author: Lozza

Date: 9/18/2009 2:19:17 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 9/18/2009 1:15:22 PM

Author: nkarma

We both entered the move in phase with the fact that it was sort of tryout for getting married and so we could work everything out. You know the whole you never know someone until you live with them thing. I was the one who delayed us moving in together too. He had asked a year before that but I honestly don''t think we were ready and we wouldn''t have been ready for an engagement either. But now that I have realized I am ready (6 months ago!), it''s hard to keep waiting. I know it was both of our intentions for living together to be a stepping stone and we will find that out when he proposes. Like I said I very much know he will, but my patience has really got the best of me though. I think the whole looking at diamonds on here and just wanting to know this is for real so I can move on with my life or not. AND that Harry met Sally quote that ringless has.....sooooooo true!!!


We shall see. My original deadline was August (the one year thing), but we talked in July and he said the end of the year. I don''t think extending it a few months so he can plan the proposal or whatever he needs to do is excessive. And if he does not propose and I move out, it will be over and I will not take a proposal then. That is the worst way to start a life together in my opinion. I am sure it worked out for lots, but I would always doubt everything.


I have to say you girls are funny. Everyone on here is waiting for some reason and I think knows they are with the right and decent man (which is why they want to get married in the first place and are willing to wait). But when someone gets frustrated, it''s like dump him or set that internal deadline and move. Look at how many people posted their frustration on here and then a week later there was the ''I am engaged'' thread. Absolutblonde rings a bell for me in that sense. What I really needed was a chill the hell out, you have loved the guy for 7 years a few more months won''t hurt you and that is what I found. My original post may not have portrayed that though cause I was uber frustrated.


Ok thanks for everyones responses. I truly appreciate this forum because it nice to see that I am not crazy and a lot of people go through this. I think the men are utterly clueless with how annoying this is sometimes for us girls.


Happy Friday!!!!

LOL! It''s hard to give and recieve personal advice in public forums. I remember one of my first posts, and I was asking what to do in my relationship, (a question about long distance and who would/could move where) and 30-40% said I should just move on to a new relationship!

Certainly no one had ever told me that before! But sometimes the wrong advice helps you to recognize the right advice. At any rate, happy waiting! And have lots of fun in the mean time!

Oh wow! That''s crazy! But that said, I completely agree with you. When people say I shouldn''t keep waiting/shouldn''t have waited this long, it grates a bit. This confirms to me that I know I have made the right decision.

Couldn''t have said it better...

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congratulations!!!!!! I''m so glad you didn''t have to "cook" for too much longer! Can''t wait to see your pics!!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Date: 9/21/2009 4:05:16 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congratulations!!!!!! I''m so glad you didn''t have to ''cook'' for too much longer! Can''t wait to see your pics!!!!

Congratulations! That is great.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 9/21/2009 4:08:16 PM
Author: TooPatient

Date: 9/21/2009 4:05:16 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congratulations!!!!!! I''m so glad you didn''t have to ''cook'' for too much longer! Can''t wait to see your pics!!!!

Congratulations! That is great.

Congratulations!! You need to start a new thread, though, because most people won''t see the announcement at the end of this one!

 

[KatM]

Date: 9/21/2009 6:29:37 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006

Date: 9/21/2009 4:08:16 PM
Author: TooPatient

Date: 9/21/2009 4:05:16 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congratulations!!!!!! I''m so glad you didn''t have to ''cook'' for too much longer! Can''t wait to see your pics!!!!

Congratulations! That is great.

Congratulations!! You need to start a new thread, though, because most people won''t see the announcement at the end of this one!

definitely start a new thread! and congratulations!

 

[trillionaire]

congrats!!!!

Not surprising, but congrats all the same! Start a new thread and share the good news!

 

[4ever]

Date: 9/18/2009 2:19:17 PM
Author: trillionaire

LOL! It''s hard to give and recieve personal advice in public forums. I remember one of my first posts, and I was asking what to do in my relationship, (a question about long distance and who would/could move where) and 30-40% said I should just move on to a new relationship!

Certainly no one had ever told me that before! But sometimes the wrong advice helps you to recognize the right advice. At any rate, happy waiting! And have lots of fun in the mean time!

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I asked for advice in a different forum when I first started seeing SO alot of them said we should break up.

And congradulations nkarma!

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Congrats!

I think a lot of people get offended when someone tells them it might be a good idea to consider moving on, but as one of those who have said it before, I have never meant it in a malicious way.
I have seen way too many girls wait 8 years, 9 years, 10 years, 11 years and then finally the man breaks up with them and is engaged to his next girlfriend 6 months later. I''ve seen it happen A LOT.
So I don''t think it''s bad advice to tell a girl to make plans for HER life and not THEIR life. I would never say "get out and run as fast as you can" unless the man was abusive, because frankly I don''t know the couple personally.
But if I see warning signs that my friends went through in a LIW''s posts, I like to try and help spare another girl the same heartache.
Every situation is different, but it''s never a bad idea to focus on a life outside of your relationship and make a future for yourself which will hold up even if that future doesn''t include him.

Sorry I''m rambling but I hope you all know what I''m trying to say.

 

[Allisonfaye]

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

That''s great! Congratulations. I am glad I saw this before I typed out my long story about how I went through the same thing 7-8 years ago. Best wishes to you!

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!

He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congrats! Maybe our freak-outs were just misguided women''s intuition going haywire!

 

[BlingADing]

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!


He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Thank god he proposed. I was reading this for the 1st time and honestly you sounded like a crazy person.

Congrats and I wish you forever happiness.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 9/21/2009 1:54:30 PM
Author: nkarma
And it did turn out that all the frustration was for nothing. He proposed last night, so now I too am engaged!!!


He took me to an overlook that looks all over the san francisco bay including the golden gate, bay bridges, and downtown san francisco and this beautiful canyon at sunset last night. It was really pretty. Like I said, he isn''t the world''s biggest romantic so it was short and sweet, but I am very very happy to spend our lives together. He left until Friday to the east coast for work, so now I have to celebrate all by my lonesome, but that''s okay.

Congrats!! I''m so glad I stopped back in this thread and saw the update!