annoyed

[Cehrabehra]

So I''m getting ice out of the freezer and I hear a knock on the door behind, I turn to see the previous owner of the house standing there and waving. I''m in my jammies, its about noon (blush), no bra, house is a disaster, dh is upstairs in bed watching tv, daughter is cleaning the litterbox and upstairs bathroom and it stinks and I take a quick look around and gasp holy crap they want in I bet!!! I run upstairs to get the dh, long story short they''re visiting here and want to look around, they want to go to the creek etc. and I say well come back in 15 minutes and they''re like okay and we *quickly* pick up everything and now over an hour has gone by and I don''t think they''re coming back. I met them at church so we know them and bought the house fisbo.

 

[lumpkin]

There''s such a thing as courtesy. It''s Sunday, for goodness sake, and they didn''t give you any warning whatsoever. Personally I would never go to someone''s house (even if I used to live there) without calling first. Barring a messy house and people still in their jammies, how about whether they might be on their way out, or not home, or (being a married working couple) having the only time that week to be alone. It really annoys me when people drop by unannounced. My husband had a childhood friend who would drop by at the MOST inoportune times, and then knowing it was not a good time, stayed ANYWAY!!! Fortunately we don''t live close to his home or work anymore, so he does call now.

If you can muster it, I''d tell them to call first next time because you are a busy family and always have something going on. And when you DON''T have something going on, you need relaxing down time.

Sorry, Sara. This is a major pet pieve of mine.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/1/2007 4:37:08 PM
Author: lumpkin
There''s such a thing as courtesy. It''s Sunday, for goodness sake, and they didn''t give you any warning whatsoever. Personally I would never go to someone''s house (even if I used to live there) without calling first. Barring a messy house and people still in their jammies, how about whether they might be on their way out, or not home, or (being a married working couple) having the only time that week to be alone. It really annoys me when people drop by unannounced. My husband had a childhood friend who would drop by at the MOST inoportune times, and then knowing it was not a good time, stayed ANYWAY!!! Fortunately we don''t live close to his home or work anymore, so he does call now.

If you can muster it, I''d tell them to call first next time because you are a busy family and always have something going on. And when you DON''T have something going on, you need relaxing down time.

Sorry, Sara. This is a major pet pieve of mine.

oh I''m with you - and I honestly wish I was the drop by unannounced type but I can''t believe anyone can actually function like that LOL

We had these friends who dropped by unannounced - well to their benefit they had tried calling and left a few messages but we didn''t get the messages.... we''d just let the phone ring because we were *busy* ::winkwink:: so anyway, later, they come by and we are talking and the woman says no less than 5 times, we called but you didn''t answer your phone and I blew it off until the last time when she said why didn''t you answer your phone and I just blurted out because we were having sex and she blushed a thousand shades her husband squirmed as did mine but dang it served her right!!! LOL

So my question for those who enjoy/tolerate drop by guests..... how do you deal with pajamas and a sink full of dirty dishes?? People with perpetually spotless houses who awake at 5am to shower, brush their teeth and put on make up need not reply LOL!

btw as soon as I hit send they arrived so at least it wasn''t for nothing LMAO

 

[Kaleigh]

Oh I agree with your Sara, that IS annoying. I can't stand when people drop by unannounced, drives me nuts.

Especially on a lazy Sunday.

They should have called and asked if they could stop by. Oh well, I see they came back, so your straightening up wasn't a wasted effort. Ughh.

 

[strmrdr]

growing up it was expected that someone would drop by early Sunday afternoon after Church.
If someone didnt it meant ya had no friends or it was your turn to visit.
No one called either.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Drats...what ever are you going to do with a straightened up house?

I feel your pain.

DKS

 

[Skippy123]

that would be annoying and I can't believe they just wanted to poke around, geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

my husband loves people to just drop by. . . he says it is a Southern thing. My neighbors love us to drop by so we don't it but I always feel bad.

 

[curiopotter]

Who the heck does a pop-in anymore? I can''t even imagine going over to my brother''s house without calling first.

We''re in a day in age with cell phones, internet access and email. Call first!

 

[iheartscience]

Wow, that would really make me mad! I LOVE having a lazy Sunday, just me and my boyfriend or just me and my cats! Some Sundays I don''t even want to leave the house! I just need to not have to deal with people at least one day out of the week, you know?

Sorry your Sunday got ruined! But at least they came back so you didn''t clean your house up for no reason!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

That is stressful! As much as I would love to see an old home where I once lived I would never have the guts to actually go there. Maybe they thought it was ok since you know them from church. At least you have a clean house now.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/1/2007 5:45:39 PM
Author: strmrdr
growing up it was expected that someone would drop by early Sunday afternoon after Church.
If someone didnt it meant ya had no friends or it was your turn to visit.
No one called either.

that was exactly it... they were in town, they went to church (which is *very* close) and stopped by.... when they left here they went to alaska and she wasn''t happy with that, she misses this house still. I wanted to give her a chance to look around and get some closure, but I do wish she''d have called. No one EVER stops by when the house is clean LOL It''s clean now, come on by!!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/1/2007 5:53:27 PM
Author: door knob solitaire
Drats...what ever are you going to do with a straightened up house?

I feel your pain.

DKS

tell me about it!!! Make more messes I suppose My dd is playing with some hogwarts potion thing, I don''t even want to know how they get those things to do that.... ::shudder:: and I''ve just been laying around aimlessly. went and played xfiles for the first time in over a month before I gave it up to the boys.... now I''m thinking I should start laundry since I''ll be out most of tomorrow.... but we did in 15 minutes what we planned to take all day to do LOL I didn''t do the floors.... I should probably sweep and vacuum but I''m not in the mood and they''re really not that bad.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I love being super comfortable even if it means clutter all over and clothes you wouldn''t dare wear in public but are secretly your favorites.... that''s why I answered the "perfect you outfit" the way I did.... there are styles I like etc. but if I''m REALLY honest I most prefer to be in my grubs LOL

Date: 7/1/2007 6:44:12 PM
Author: thing2of2
Wow, that would really make me mad! I LOVE having a lazy Sunday, just me and my boyfriend or just me and my cats! Some Sundays I don''t even want to leave the house! I just need to not have to deal with people at least one day out of the week, you know?

Sorry your Sunday got ruined! But at least they came back so you didn''t clean your house up for no reason!

oops sorry I forgot to quote before.... but I still want to know how those who DO do the "drop by" thing make it work when they''re in the middle of something, anything - cleaning, cooking, whoopie - whatever LOL The worst to me is when I have laundry folded all over the couch and coffee table and baskets all over and it looks like a clothing bomb went off LOL No, I take it back, I think the worst is when the sink is full of dirty dishes because I was too lazy the night before to do anything about it lol

 

[lumpkin]

I do try to keep up, but not on a Sunday morning. We still have dishes from today and I won''t do them until the kids are in bed and I can sweep and maybe mop. Sunday is my least likely to have everything clean day.

I think a lot of other people who are raising kids and keep their houses spotless either have a hidden room where they make the kids play or they only let them play with one or two toys at a time. One mom I know has half her house gated off so the kids can''t be in there (or the pets). We use every square inch of our house and I try not to be apologetic about it, but it does sometimes get to me if I''m feeling judged about our relaxed home. I mean, it''s not like the houses on "Clean Sweep" or anything (well, maybe our computer room is, almost), but when compared to some of my neighbors'' houses, which look like "Good Housekeeping" is coming to photograph, ours looks very lived in. What I am trying to figure out is why my next door neighbor cares about my housekeeping, and why I care that she cares, LOL!

My best friend is a lot like me -- her house is very lived in and when I visit her I feel totally at home. I mean, she doesn''t have food mashed into the carpeting (and neither do I) or anything gross like that, but there are toys everywhere and we just have a cold drink and sit and talk and we''re very relaxed and enjoy each other''s company and the kids play while we talk. If my next door neighbor were to go to her house it wouldn''t look any better than mine does, but my friend just would not care if my neighbor gave her "the look". When my neighbor drops by and sees my house I''m mortified. Why do I care???? I''m not even particularly fond of her. I have no idea what that''s all about. Housekeeping envy??? Good grief, how pathetic is that!

At any rate, aside from the short notice, I hope you enjoyed your visit and that the previous owner enjoyed her knock around the house time, LOL!

 

[diamondfan]

I sort of feel if they drop by, the house is how it is, and too bad. I am not a slob or a neat freak but something in between, and sometimes my house looks great and sometimes it looks pretty bad. I make no apologies, it is my home. If you show up unannounced and uninvited, things are likely to be imperfect, and that is just the reality. I also have NO trouble saying, You know, it is great to see you, but as you can see we were not expecting guests and this is not a really great time, (or we are having some family time). Let''s talk this week and make plans so we can be better prepared! I would not feel I need to rush around and clean and get ready for someone who did not call...unless they are from out of town and did not know my number and were passing through.

 

[zoebartlett]

Sara,

First, I have to ask, what what "fisbo" mean? I asked my FI and he didn''t know either so he wanted me to ask you. Thanks!

Next, my parents'' house is always open to the public.

When I was growing up, we always had people drop by and hang out for tea, etc. My mom''s friends would happen to be on our street or something and they always came by unannounced. It never bothered me. In fact, I really liked it. I liked coming home from school and seeing my mom''s friends'' cars in the driveway or whatever. I really liked the social atmosphere and the welcoming nature of my parents.

We''ve even had friends bring their kids by to quickly use my parents'' bathroom if they had to make a pit stop on their way to running errands, etc.

My FI and I compare childhood stories and he was slightly appalled at how open my parents'' house is. At his parents'' house, you ALWAYS call first. I think even his brother calls before coming by and he lives right around the corner. My FI doesn''t like the idea of having people just stop by. I don''t mind it, but I think now I''d prefer to get a call first. I think now that I have my own house, I can relate to wanting the place to be picked up before people come by. I''d also love to be dressed appropriately for visitors.

 

[Kaleigh]

FSBO, For sale by owner??
FISBO What does the I stand for??

 

[phoenixgirl]

Yes, I agree that that's pretty gauche. Do they not know your number?

We live in the city where people are constantly walking by, so stop-bys are more common. But most of our friends would call first to "ask if we're home," which is a nice way of making sure we went company.

Our neighbor's eight-year-old had started driving us (well, me) a little crazy because she would hunt for us . . . suddenly she would appear standing on a chair beneath our kitchen window while we were making dinner, or we'd be lying on the futon in the basement and we'd see her enter our backyard and start craning her neck to find us, or she'd open the mail slot in our door and shout. I think her parents told her that was rude though because she hasn't done it in a while.

When we first got it in our head that we wanted a condo a few years back, we stopped by the complex where we wanted to move and eventually did and popped in on DH's old church youth group advisor whom he hadn't seen in forever. We just really wanted to see what the condos looked like, but I could tell in retrospect that he was like, "Eek!" to have to show his house off on a moment's notice.

Living in the condo we'd get neighbor drop-ins, so that if your neighbors saw that you were home they'd shout your name/knock/call your cell phone. That sometimes wore on me because as much as I loved everyone sometimes I just wanted privacy. At least in our house, we can keep clutter relegated to acceptable places (the office, the basement) and the rest of it clean most of the time, and with the exception of the 8 year old we can signal that we want company by being outside or signal that we want privacy by closing the blinds. And since I'd gotten used to the 24/7 neighbor fest that was the condo, I get a little lonely in the house sometimes and want people to stop by.

After moving into the house, I did learn a lesson when I removed an uncomfortable bra and placed it by the stairs, right where you'd see it coming in (and you can see some but not entirely in through the door at night). Suddenly the doorbell rang and I sprang up to hide it somewhere and hoped I wasn't too indecent. Now I don't leave bras lying around and am more likely to wear workout pants rather than pajama pants and the like if I want to lounge around.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/1/2007 9:58:53 PM
Author: Kaleigh
FSBO, For sale by owner??
FISBO What does the I stand for??

I mis typed!! Yes FSBO but in my head I call it "fisbo" and I typed that LOL!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Cehra...

We have had plans to entertain...and then the last minute it gets cancelled. I am usually storming around spewing things like I went to all this effort...All this work...and for nothing!!!

Hubby says, "Yeah, your right...what do we need with a clean house?" The look on his face is priceless. And he is right. I never clean as well when it is just the two of us. But why is it when you are in fear of a visitor you can accomplish in 15 miunutes what will take you all day under normal circumstances? I think when hubby figures that one out...I am going to have a lot of visitors cancelled at the last minute...followed by my famous nuclear fallouts.

I agree they were most inconsiderate. You might send them a card with your phone number and ask them to call next time...so you can arrange family schedules. I have a feeling they just may be back. Or maybe just let them come in...who cares what they think? (if the image was that bad, they won''t try that ever again). And besides, you aren''t going to loose your deposit...you own it!

DKS