Annoyed (vent)

[robbie3982]

Today while DH and I were at the mall doing Christmas shopping, 2 separate people referred to me as his fiancee! Uh, I''m wearing a wedding band and so is he, how are you getting fiancee??? And DH didn''t correct them! I told him it annoyed me that he didn''t correct them (we''ve been married for over a year now and we have a baby on the way!), but he said he didn''t feel like starting a conversation with random people

. I would''ve done it myself, but the first time I was talking to a vendor at one of those mall carts and only vaguely heard what was going on. After that I started to feel like maybe my wedding band isn''t substantial enough or something if people aren''t even seeing that it''s there so we went to a maul store (just to get an idea, not to buy!) to see how my set would look with an anniversary band. The woman helping us asked when the wedding was. Uh, buying an ANNIVERSARY band and I''m wearing a freaking WEDDING band. Ugh.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

 

[MMMD]

Aww, try not to let people get to you. I totally get what you are saying, marriage and being married is important and it is nice when people acknowledge that.

Plus, like you said, both of you are wearing rings. Just chalk it up to a bad day.

 

[oobiecoo]

Sorry... some people are just clueless. But it sounds like you may have a good excuse for a blingy anniversary band

 

[kittybean]

Aww, Robbie, I totally feel your pain.

FI and I went to a B&M today so he could try on some rings and see what width and size he might like for his wedding band, which I''m planning to order online. While he was trying a few things on, the SA asked him if he wanted to look at an engagement ring "for the lady" and told my FI that they had "many beautiful settings in stock." Um, 1) we are engaged or we would not be looking at wedding rings, and 2) did he not notice my ring on my left hand? IMHO, nothing I saw there could hold a candle to my e-ring! FI just laughed it off and said, "We''re already engaged," but I was fuming.

People are so ridiculously clueless sometimes! Maybe you should take it as a compliment--maybe they thought you looked too young to be a "married woman," but saw the ring and thought "fiancee?" Obviously they were wrong, but some people seem to use relationship titles interchangeably. I have no idea why, but I have people refer to my FI as my husband, my boyfriend, my special friend, or my fiance on a regular basis.

Anyway, I''m sorry the SAs you encountered were so frustrating today. Hopefully you were able to get some ideas for an awesome anniversary band!

P.S. I just found your wedding thread, and I think your rings definitely say "MARRIED." They''re beautiful, by the way!

 

[robbie3982]

Thanks guys

Oobie, I''d definitely like a nice blingy anniversary band, but I''m pretty sure I''m going to have to wait until at least our 3rd to get one if I don''t want it to be junk since the first has already passed and the second will be when I''m still out on maternity leave (which is only covered by STD

). I''ve already got my eye on a ton of things from Fay Cullen for that third anniversary though

.

Kitty, thanks! Unfortunately only my original rings are still with us as DH lost his in the ocean a month before our anniversary

. He has a replacement, which I like, just not as much as the original, that''s just a plain silver band. He felt so guilty about losing the first that he refused to let me buy him anything more expensive than that for fear of losing it again.

I think you''re right, it might have something to do with the fact that we both look young (I''m 25 and he''s 26, but people frequently think that we''re both in high school) and I wasn''t wearing much makeup. I think I''m going to be in for a lot of dirty looks in the months to come when I start showing and people start assuming I''m a pregnant teen.

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 11/15/2008 10:29:38 PM
Author: kittybean

but some people seem to use relationship titles interchangeably. I have no idea why, but I have people refer to my FI as my husband, my boyfriend, my special friend, or my fiance on a regular basis.

LOL!! I'm sorry! I have nothing to add to this discussion at all, but this made me laugh out loud (as opposed to silently)...I have no idea why.

PS Once that 'baby bump' is clearly visible, people should get the clue (AND, CONGRATS!!!!!!

Oh, and a LOT of times (well, I'd say 100% of the time that people notice my ring - most don't) people will ask "is that your engagement ring?" I guess it's more understandble in my case since it's a pink stone and not a diamond (excuse me for breaking convention ), but it IS on my left hand and, if I say so, it is pretty substantial!! I think people just speak without thinking, and also, kitty, as for the woman who asked your FH (or should I say SF?? LOL) about rings, I think she was just trying to make a sale, nothing more.

 

[bee*]

I think that some people really just don''t notice. I can look young for my age and D''s been called my bf more than once or twice since we got engaged-it really doesn''t bother me. D wouldn''t correct people either. People can just be clueless.

 

[Tuckins1]

Whatever... People are so pre-occupied with their own stuff that they just don''t take the time to think sometimes... Don''t let it get to you. Sometimes people are just dumb.

 

[diamondfan]

Some people are a bit clueless and it is not worth worrying about!

Congrats! I did not know you were expecting! How far along are you?

 

[justjulia]

I think it''s the economy that is making people push harder. They may be facing a lay off if they don''t sell. Sad.

I''m sure they are trained to lure the customer to stay at the counter longer with small chat. They really should be asking more open ended questions like "tell me about your ring?"

Anyway, I''d chaulk it up to nervous banter by the SA.

 

[Haven]

It is irritating, but I'd say you should try to take it as a compliment that you both look so young and happy together people couldn't possibly think that you're already married!

Someone recently told my DH that he was "too young to be married". Um, he's 38, but thank you for the kind words!

 

[neatfreak]

Aww Robbie, try not to let it get to you! Really some people are just not observant and totally clueless. It isn''t you I promise!

 

[somethingshiny]

I actually had the same thing happen quite often. I was fairly young when we got married (19) and you look young, so I think people just don''t go straight to thinking you''re already married. And, I agree with your DH. I wouldn''t just start conversations about my life with some stranger who made a mistake.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Are you angry with the strangers or your DH who didn''t correct them? Sometimes you have to let things go. I am sure these people did not mean to insult you. I look young too and was *shocked* no one ever said anything about teenage pregnancy to me (but I did notice some people looking for a wedding ring

) People did make some unkind comments when I was preggo and being preggo it is hard not to take everything personally. Just enjoy that your DH will go to the mall with you! I think mine rather haven dental surgery.

 

[robbie3982]

Thanks everyone! I''m over it now and I''m pretty sure that if anyone ever makes the mistake again, DH will correct them.

Diamond Fan, thanks! I''m 7w1d, due on the 4th of July!

Tacori, I think I was more annoyed that DH didn''t say anything.

 

[Kelli]

My fiancee forgot a few times and introduced me to co-workers as his girlfriend recently after we got eangaged and that bothered me. Thankfully he''s finally got it now LOL! I can see his point about not wanting to make small talk with annoying sales people, but I''m sure now that he knows it bothered you, he''ll correct them. I wouldn''t worry about your ring though, some people just don''t pay any attention. It is a good reason to buy some bling though!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Robbie, I''m sorry . . . I can totally understand why you would be annoyed at the salespeople AND at your DH.

And congrats on the pregnancy!

 

[fieryred33143]

Aww Robbie I''m sorry. Don''t let them get to you.

I get annoyed when people refer to me as FI''s wife and he doesn''t correct them, which happens a lot for some reason.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I figured it was more about your DH than random strangers

At least now he knows how you feel and like you said I am SURE he will say something next time. Hope you are feeling good.