- Joined
- Jul 10, 2013
- Messages
- 315
I need advice and don't know who to ask. I am married with kids in my late twenties and my parents are divorced. They divorced when I was 20. All my married years, I have felt like I haven't had any family besides my husband and kids. I have 2 younger siblings and their lives have been hard since my parents divorce. They basically had no Dad growing up, just a dad that paid child support. I love them both very much and would do anything for either of them.
My brother came to stay with me from out of state and he brought his girlfriend with him. They live together and are in their early 20s and don't want to get married anytime soon. Before they came they were living with my mom. Well one day my brother called and asked if he could come visit for a month or two. They have stayed with me before for a few months and there was a lot of drama and they broke up and got back together and fought alot and I didn't really want that back again so I told him he could stay at my house sometimes and other family members close to where I live sometimes. But I was excited about seeing him.
So he got here a couple months ago and decided he doesn't want to leave. He has been working with my husband and has stayed at my house the whole 2 months. I have loved having him and half of me doesn't want him to ever leave and the other half of me is being mean and doesn't want him living at my house. My husband loves him and said he could put a kitchen in the basement so they could start living here.
My brother told my mom he doesn't want to find his own place because he doesn't want to pay rent. He drives one of our trucks and my husband pays for the gas. And I wouldn't be complaining about any of this if he was by himself. But the fact he has his girlfriend makes me look at things a whole different way. I like his girlfriend, she is about 7 years younger than me and is gorgeous. And I think a part of me doesn't like this pretty girl walking around my house in revealing clothes around my husband. Like she has worn lingerie before. I know I am an insecure person and need to work on that. But I wouldn't mind any of this if they were just visiting but he has made it sound like he is going to be here years from now.
And I would totally let him stay forever if it was just him. I just feel like once you are living with another person, it's your's and the other person's responsibility to take care of yourselves and eachother. But at the same time, I know if I push him away, I will be sad and hate myself because I have wished ever since I got married I could have some part of my family around. I feel like if I tell him to leave I wont be happy but if he stays things wont be great either.
My brother came to stay with me from out of state and he brought his girlfriend with him. They live together and are in their early 20s and don't want to get married anytime soon. Before they came they were living with my mom. Well one day my brother called and asked if he could come visit for a month or two. They have stayed with me before for a few months and there was a lot of drama and they broke up and got back together and fought alot and I didn't really want that back again so I told him he could stay at my house sometimes and other family members close to where I live sometimes. But I was excited about seeing him.
So he got here a couple months ago and decided he doesn't want to leave. He has been working with my husband and has stayed at my house the whole 2 months. I have loved having him and half of me doesn't want him to ever leave and the other half of me is being mean and doesn't want him living at my house. My husband loves him and said he could put a kitchen in the basement so they could start living here.
My brother told my mom he doesn't want to find his own place because he doesn't want to pay rent. He drives one of our trucks and my husband pays for the gas. And I wouldn't be complaining about any of this if he was by himself. But the fact he has his girlfriend makes me look at things a whole different way. I like his girlfriend, she is about 7 years younger than me and is gorgeous. And I think a part of me doesn't like this pretty girl walking around my house in revealing clothes around my husband. Like she has worn lingerie before. I know I am an insecure person and need to work on that. But I wouldn't mind any of this if they were just visiting but he has made it sound like he is going to be here years from now.
And I would totally let him stay forever if it was just him. I just feel like once you are living with another person, it's your's and the other person's responsibility to take care of yourselves and eachother. But at the same time, I know if I push him away, I will be sad and hate myself because I have wished ever since I got married I could have some part of my family around. I feel like if I tell him to leave I wont be happy but if he stays things wont be great either.