Advice please?

[merilenda]

Hi, ladies! Okay, I mentioned that I''m having a slight crisis about rings. I could really use some input, because I am definitely feeling overwhelmed.

Here''s the story: I''ve always been in love with princess cut diamonds. I just knew that was what I wanted for my e-ring and didn''t think about other options. Well, FF''s family mentioned to him that they have some diamonds/rings that we can use for my ring, which would save us from buying a center stone. There was a round cut and an emerald cut potentially available (both in the 1 ct. neighborhood).

It took me a little while to get over my princess-lust, but I started to fall for round cuts. I tried some on, and I really really love them! I found the perfect setting at a B&M store, and it was just a matter of looking around to see if we could get a similar setting for a better deal.

Here comes the wrench! FF''s dad can''t find the ring (with the round) that he was going to give us. This was really disappointing for me, because I fell in love with the look - a simple setting with a 2.5mm shank and prong-set melee.

So now we''re "left" with the EC. Let me just say that I think EC diamonds are lovely, and I don''t want to offend anyone who has one! But we''re talking about me finding "the" ring. I''ve combed through PS looking for settings with EC center stones. And I just cannot find anything that I love or that really speaks to me. And I don''t know what to do. FF is getting frustrated because his whole family keeps congratulating us on our "engagement" although we''re not actually engaged yet. And he feels like we''re in limbo. So he''s kind of wanting me to pick a setting so he can get the process started.

I thought LIW might be a great place for advice on this. I should mention that our finances are pretty limited right now since we''re in that transitional period between school and career. Should I keep looking for settings for the EC and find something I at least like even though it''s not "the one?" Maybe we can pick out what I really want when things are more financially stable, but I hate to take a family heirloom (it''s currently set in a ring, so we''d have to remove it) for a year or two and then be like "thanks, but I''m done with this now!"

Should I tell FF that I would prefer to pick out a RB stone with our available budget and then set it as a simple solitaire until we can afford to upgrade the setting? In terms of monetary value, what we could afford we be much less than the EC available (I think because FF isn''t into this stuff, he won''t understand why I wouldn''t want to take the more valuable stone).

I''ve rambled on for WAY too long now. I admit that I''m ever-so-slightly obsessing about this, so I hope you ladies understand. I feel like there''s just so many factors involved in this situation! Oh and obviously, if you have any settings that you think would be just perfect for the EC diamond, definitely post them. I''m hoping I fall in love with something.

 

[RaiKai]

I do not have a huge love for emerald cuts myself. So I get you. I think they can look very classic and elegant. They just do not appeal to me, or look appealing ON me.

It all comes down to your own personal preference really. I would take a smaller RB, or contribute to it myself to make it a little bigger if that was important to me. I am not that fond of upgrades though. I would also make sure to talk with FF about how HE feels about upgrades before you go with either assuming you can just change it down the road. I don''t know many people in real life who upgrade, and this is often because there are sentimental attachments to the original.

Either way, I think you need to talk to your FF about how you are feeling about this ring, and your conflict about it, if you have not already.

 

[CatLady]

Could you possibly trade the EC for a princess or a round cut at a jewelry store? I''m not really sure how all of that works. I share your love for princess cuts, but unfortunately my ex bought me a princess cut so my next engagement ring will have to be some other cut.

 

[PavePrincess]

Hmm.. that is quite the predicament. You want something that you love, but you don''t want to offend him or his family. If I were you, I would probably go with the emerald cut and have it set in a setting that I loved, but that''s just what I would do.. not what I think you should do.

The store that we purchased my ring from had a few emerald cuts set in halos and they looked beautiful. If you like the look of halos, I''d strongly consider it. The clarity and simplicity of the EC looked amazing surrounded by the micropave. Also, I would look into Tacori settings for some inspiration. When I first started looking at rings, I considered ECs because I liked the way they looked in the settings. I''ll attach some examples below.

Honestly though, if you can''t see yourself loving an EC, then I would talk to your bf about it. Since it is a family heirloom I don''t think it''s the kind of ring you can upgrade in a couple of years. That would probably be more offensive than declining it upfront. You can always get an anniversary ring when you''re more stable.. that''s what my bf promised me later down the road. Good luck with everything.. I hope this helps

Examples:

 

[PavePrincess]

#2

 

[PavePrincess]

#3

 

[PavePrincess]

Last one - Tacori''s website has 16 examples of settings for ECs. Hope this helped a bit!

 

[HappyNewLife]

since it''s a family stone, you probably can''t trade the EC in for a round or princess. I would suggest designing a setting with BGD or WF that makes the EC feel beautiful to you. I too am not a huge EC fan, but at the same time a "free" 1 ct stone that leaves me with $ for my dream setting doesn''t sound too bad. And one day you can get a new RB or princess ring and move the EC to your right hand. I''m sure it would really honor your BF''s family to use the stone, so I personally would.

Let me see if I can find some settings that I think are super pretty...

 

[HappyNewLife]

check out how gorgeous this EC ring (1 carat) with halo looks!

http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/sold/meno_collection_by_danhov/1793/Diamond-Rings.html

 

[merilenda]

RaiKai: I have broached the topic somewhat with him, but I probably need to go further. He''s pretty set on using this stone, because of our financial situation especially. He''s not really into this ring stuff, so to him, it doesn''t make sense that I wouldn''t want to accept a much more valuable stone that we can afford. I''m sure it would be a little different if we had more money right now. We have briefly discussed upgrades, too. When I say upgrade, I don''t mean that we would use the original ring to offset the cost of a new one. But the EC stone would probably either be re-set as something else, or at least kept in the family. That''s one condition of us using that stone: we can''t sell it or trade it in for something different. Anyway, BF is open to me getting something closer to my original dream ring later on, so if that''s what we are considering to be an upgrade, I think he''s okay with it. I can''t speak for his family though, so I don''t know if they would be offended.

CatLady: We can''t trade the EC diamond in, since his family will only give it to us if we use it in the ring. I sure wish the situation were reversed, because the other side of his family (with the round diamond that they can''t find) was fine with us either using it or trading it in to get what we wanted!

PavePrincess: Thank you for the setting ideas! Normally when I hear EC and halo, I''m skeptical. Because a lot of the ones I''ve seen in stores have halos that completely overwhelm the stone. But those are much more delicate and pretty. I''m going to look more at those Tacori settings, thanks for the inspiration!

HappyNewLife: That''s kind of where I am right now. Trying to find a setting that I at least love, even if it isn''t 100% my dream ring. I just miss the super sparkles of a round cut! I know the subtle elegance of an EC really appeals to a lot of people, but I can''t seem to get past it. I''m still looking for a setting that I can see myself wearing for a while. Maybe later on, I can get that diamond I really dream about, and can wear the EC as a RHR or have it re-set for his mom.

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Merlenda

This is your engagement ring that will be on your finger everyday. Your finger is not a museum for the preservation of his family''s heirlooms. Don''t get a stone you''re unhappy with just because it''s a good deal - you will get a little sad everytime you look at it.
You said: "Should I tell FF that I would prefer to pick out a RB stone with our available budget and then set it as a simple solitaire until we can afford to upgrade the setting? "
I think the answere is yes. And if you are picking out your own stone, then there is no reason not to consider princess cuts as well. Go with a vendor that has a good lifetime upgrade policy and don''t look back.

Cut quality is so important in emerald cuts to ensure propoer sparkle - an average or poorly cut emerald reminds me of a boring chunk of glass.

You deserve to have a ring you will love.

 

[merilenda]

HopeDream: I agree on the cut of EC stones definitely. I''ve seen this diamond in passing, since it''s set in a different ring right now, but I never paid that much attention. I don''t know what the specs are...it was apparently a pretty expensive diamond, so you would think it''d be a high quality. But that''s not necessarily true, I guess. I 100% agree that it''s not my job to preserve a family heirloom. If I communicated it like that, I apologize, because they''re not pushing us to take it. In fact, I get the idea that his mom would almost we rather not use the stone so that she can keep it (a WHOLE separate issue altogether, though I have discussed that one with FF more in-depth and told him that issue is completely between him and his family). I don''t think they''ll be offended if we don''t use it, but they might if we take it, re-set it, and then buy a new ring in a couple years. I think I''ll talk to him more about it. I just wanted to get some of your ideas first. If looking at loose stones, I would be looking at round and princess both! I think I prefer the look of a princess solitaire to a round solitaire, but the ring I really love has a round center stone with melee on the band!

PavePrincess: (Again!) Okay, I looked at Tacori, and I really like that 2621 setting with the two EC stones on the side! I think it''s the prettiest setting for EC that I''ve seen so far! I could see myself being happy with that, but for the price of the setting, I could buy a pretty nice diamond in another shape.

I''m definitely saving it for inspiration though, and I could always see if someone would custom-make a setting in that style.

 

[PavePrincess]

Here''s a link to since1910''s pg. They have a lot of Tacori rings (with prices) so you can get a better idea of what you may want. A lot of the rings can be made with any center stone so that''s something to consider.

Honestly.. I think you should sit down with your boyfriend and talk about your preferences. Right now it seems like no matter what setting you get, you''ll be longing for a different center stone. I completely get that. If I were you, I''d think about it for a couple of weeks. Either way, it''s a huge purchase and one that you''ll want to be happy with in the years to come. You deserve a beautiful ring that you love..

 

[HappyNewLife]

Just came across this thread that might help-- there are a bunch of really pretty EC settings in this thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/emerald-cuts-asschers-a-collection.113993/

 

[PumpkinPie]

I''m sorry this has turned into such a frustrating experience for you - I''m not sure what I would do, but given the new information that his mother doesn''t even really want you to use the stone, I would focus all your budget on an upgradable round stone in a simple setting - you can always get a new setting once you have more funds, and a larger diamond in the future too. I just don''t see it being worth causing any tension in your FF''s family for the sake of a stone you don''t want!

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 4/27/2010 11:42:51 PM
Author: Maevie
I''m sorry this has turned into such a frustrating experience for you - I''m not sure what I would do, but given the new information that his mother doesn''t even really want you to use the stone, I would focus all your budget on an upgradable round stone in a simple setting - you can always get a new setting once you have more funds, and a larger diamond in the future too. I just don''t see it being worth causing any tension in your FF''s family for the sake of a stone you don''t want!

Ditto!

 

[merilenda]

PP - I really like since1910, there are some beautiful rings there. I think you may be right about the diamond though. I''m going to keep thinking about it. While I like simple settings for other shaped stones, for some reason, I don''t really like EC solitaires. And I definitely don''t want to spend a lot of money on a setting for a stone that I don''t really love!

HNL - Thanks again! I have looked through that entire thread several times this week. I think there are some lovely rings, but part of the problem is that I can''t seem to find anything that I really love on the hand.

Maevie & lilyfoot- those were my thoughts exactly when I started getting the feeling that she''s reluctant to give up the stone. And I brought this up to FF already. I''ll preface by saying that I haven''t talked to her about this issue directly. So my entire perception has come from what he''s told me. But I told FF that I felt very uncomfortable accepting a stone that she was not comfortable in giving us. Plus, I don''t want it to forever be that my e-ring is her ring. He assured me that she was only concerned that we would sell/trade in the diamond, and that she''s fine with us using it in the ring. He said she told him many years ago that he could have the stone when he was ready to propose to someone. So I don''t know if I''m being paranoid, but I just got the idea that she was hesitant about it. I told FF that this was 100% between him and his family, and I don''t think it''s my place to be involved. The plus of buying our own stone would be that it''s truly mine and since it won''t be a family heirloom, I could always upgrade it.