packrat
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2008
- Messages
- 10,614
I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do w/my skin. I've had horrible skin since 5th grade. 30 years now. 30 years of "you'll grow out of it" "it's stress" "it's b/c of what you eat" "it's your period" (um, der, for 30 years?) It's not even little blackheads or those little red bumpy pimples. Well, it is, but on top of that it's the gigantic cystic ones under the skin that are big and red and stick out and they hurt. They're like...nodules.
I've been on Accutane four times...or five?, and it was all over the course of 4 or 5 years. It was a short period of time, considering it's a 6 month treatment, that I would need to go back on it after being off for 6 months. I also went on a bc pill that was supposed to help your skin..ortho cyclen or ortho tri cyclen..something. I've been on both those, and also ortho tri cyclen lo. When I was on Accutane, I weighed about 100# and was on the recommended dosage for someone who weighed 240# b/c my oil glands would absolutely not shut down, they are that overactive. The dermatologist spent a lot of time shaking his head and saying "I don't know what to do, I've never seen a case like you before"
I've been on everything, and when I say everything, I mean just that. I spent years going to the dermatologist every 6 weeks (and being out in the middle of nowhere, that's no small feat), every 4 weeks if he wanted to check progress.
I used to go in for injections into the big cystic ones. I don't remember what was injected..a steroid or something, I'm not sure-it hurt but it helped dry them out from the inside. Until the next one came along.
I stopped all hormonal bc this past April-which has been tremendous as far as migraines go-I've been pretty much 100% migraine free since then, just a couple tolerable headaches, and minimal nausea. After spending 1-3 weeks per month forcing myself to work, take care of the house, the kids etc b/c I was in such unbearable pain and felt sick all the time--after 6 years of that, this has been amazing. BUT-it's not helping my skin a'tall. (not that it was good before by any means, it's just worse now)
I did a series of this light thing that kills the bacteria on your face. That worked, but was about $100/week, so I did the series of 2 tx/week for three weeks and that was it. Then I tried chemical peels. They worked, had a bit of down time w/yucky skin and peeling in between, but an hour away and they're $150/each.
Most recently I've done two 8 micron laser peels. With no-and I mean NO improvement in the acne. That is the equivalent of 16 chemical peels. When I went in for my second one, the attendant wrinkled her face and was like "well..huh..." at my lack of improvement. I was told that I might need to do the really deep peels, which are 40 micron--which require a lot more healing/down time, that I can not take time off work for, and are over $200/each. The skin on my forehead looks smoother, and there is one spot that used to be really dark and have an indentation that looks better. Acne is not any better. I was told that sometimes the acne is so deep in your skin it might take a while to get it all out. Well, I guess I kinda figure if it's *that* deep in my skin that the equivalent of almost 18 months of tx hasn't helped--doesn't that mean there's a bigger/deeper issue that needs to be addressed? I'm going to cancel the last peel and get a refund on it.
So, now what? It's just so taxing on how I feel about myself. And I know, gawd do I know, I've been told for 30 years, it's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside. I get that. But sometimes, I just want to look in the mirror and smile and think I look pretty-instead of a blank stare and just dealing w/how I look. Sometimes what's on the outside makes what's on the inside feel so bad about itself that it takes refuge in being alone and thinking bad/sad thoughts.
There is another skin clinic I found, that is closer to me, that is run by a local Dr. I'm not sure how involved in it he actually is. They have better hours than the other place where I got the laser peels, and it wouldn't be as hard to get to them, wouldn't have to take time off work. Free consults, so I guess that can't hurt. They have the IPL light which kills the bacteria on your face. Or do I find a dermatologist and see what I find out there? Go back on Accutane? I'm about half scared of Accutane anymore-I think all those heavy dosages messed w/my eyes and caused some other issues...I had perfect better than 20/20 vision before starting it, and I then I started having panic attacks after a while, and I had some anger issues. Those could all be coincidences w/shit I had going on in my life, I don't know. I know more now after reflecting, so would know what to look for during tx.
Or both? Try the other skin clinic and if the light doesn't work for any longer than a couple weeks, find a dermatologist?
Sorry, that was a bit of a freak out dump there. I made the mistake of looking in the mirror, which sparked this-my skin is like braille.
I've been on Accutane four times...or five?, and it was all over the course of 4 or 5 years. It was a short period of time, considering it's a 6 month treatment, that I would need to go back on it after being off for 6 months. I also went on a bc pill that was supposed to help your skin..ortho cyclen or ortho tri cyclen..something. I've been on both those, and also ortho tri cyclen lo. When I was on Accutane, I weighed about 100# and was on the recommended dosage for someone who weighed 240# b/c my oil glands would absolutely not shut down, they are that overactive. The dermatologist spent a lot of time shaking his head and saying "I don't know what to do, I've never seen a case like you before"
I've been on everything, and when I say everything, I mean just that. I spent years going to the dermatologist every 6 weeks (and being out in the middle of nowhere, that's no small feat), every 4 weeks if he wanted to check progress.
I used to go in for injections into the big cystic ones. I don't remember what was injected..a steroid or something, I'm not sure-it hurt but it helped dry them out from the inside. Until the next one came along.
I stopped all hormonal bc this past April-which has been tremendous as far as migraines go-I've been pretty much 100% migraine free since then, just a couple tolerable headaches, and minimal nausea. After spending 1-3 weeks per month forcing myself to work, take care of the house, the kids etc b/c I was in such unbearable pain and felt sick all the time--after 6 years of that, this has been amazing. BUT-it's not helping my skin a'tall. (not that it was good before by any means, it's just worse now)
I did a series of this light thing that kills the bacteria on your face. That worked, but was about $100/week, so I did the series of 2 tx/week for three weeks and that was it. Then I tried chemical peels. They worked, had a bit of down time w/yucky skin and peeling in between, but an hour away and they're $150/each.
Most recently I've done two 8 micron laser peels. With no-and I mean NO improvement in the acne. That is the equivalent of 16 chemical peels. When I went in for my second one, the attendant wrinkled her face and was like "well..huh..." at my lack of improvement. I was told that I might need to do the really deep peels, which are 40 micron--which require a lot more healing/down time, that I can not take time off work for, and are over $200/each. The skin on my forehead looks smoother, and there is one spot that used to be really dark and have an indentation that looks better. Acne is not any better. I was told that sometimes the acne is so deep in your skin it might take a while to get it all out. Well, I guess I kinda figure if it's *that* deep in my skin that the equivalent of almost 18 months of tx hasn't helped--doesn't that mean there's a bigger/deeper issue that needs to be addressed? I'm going to cancel the last peel and get a refund on it.
So, now what? It's just so taxing on how I feel about myself. And I know, gawd do I know, I've been told for 30 years, it's not what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside. I get that. But sometimes, I just want to look in the mirror and smile and think I look pretty-instead of a blank stare and just dealing w/how I look. Sometimes what's on the outside makes what's on the inside feel so bad about itself that it takes refuge in being alone and thinking bad/sad thoughts.
There is another skin clinic I found, that is closer to me, that is run by a local Dr. I'm not sure how involved in it he actually is. They have better hours than the other place where I got the laser peels, and it wouldn't be as hard to get to them, wouldn't have to take time off work. Free consults, so I guess that can't hurt. They have the IPL light which kills the bacteria on your face. Or do I find a dermatologist and see what I find out there? Go back on Accutane? I'm about half scared of Accutane anymore-I think all those heavy dosages messed w/my eyes and caused some other issues...I had perfect better than 20/20 vision before starting it, and I then I started having panic attacks after a while, and I had some anger issues. Those could all be coincidences w/shit I had going on in my life, I don't know. I know more now after reflecting, so would know what to look for during tx.
Or both? Try the other skin clinic and if the light doesn't work for any longer than a couple weeks, find a dermatologist?
Sorry, that was a bit of a freak out dump there. I made the mistake of looking in the mirror, which sparked this-my skin is like braille.