911 !!! I am thinking of doing something crazy....Again.

[roppongi]

All -

I am in need of some serious help.

As some of you might know my engagement ring has gone through quite a metamorphesis these past 2 years. I went from a 2 carat solitaire to a 3 carat solitaire. Last summer I decided to pull the plug and make a 3 stone ring, so I added .55 to each side. I was happy until this past spring when I changed the sides to .75 each.

Well, this afternoon I was looking at engagement rings with my girlfriend. Her favorite style this week is a 3 stone with emerald cuts. The jeweler brought out a ring that was drool worthy. The center was a 3.5 carat square cut emerald and the sides were 1.8 each. It was glorious to say the very least and it looked fabulous on her. The jeweler said that a true 3 stone ring has sides that are half of the size of the center. I looked down at my ring and knew that my sides were not half of my center

.

I asked my friend what she thought and she told me that my ring was fabulous and that I shouldn''t change it. We stopped by my jeweler to look at rings and talk to her about my sides. She brought out 1.00, 1.25 and 1.50 rounds for me to look at. We put them up against my ring and I thought there wasn''t enough difference between .75 and 1.00, 1.50 was too big but the 1.25 was perfect.

Do any of you think this is just crazy? Do you think I should pull the plug or just leave good enough alone. When does shrinkage stop? Will we ever be happy with what we have?

I know that there have been quite a few upgrades lately so please CHIME in and let me hear from you.

Thank you for your help,

Crazed in San Francisco

 

[sxn675]

Personally, I say to leave well enough alone. If you want something new, get something else, like a RHR or earrings or something

 

[sjz]

I've only been posting on here for a little over 6 months, lurking for a while before that. One of the biggest things I've learned from reading the posts here is that for most people, shrinkage NEVER stops...

You have to do what is right for you, but you have changed your ring quite a few times already over the past 2 years. I'm not one to talk...I've upgraded a couple of times myself

. But there comes a point, I think, where you have to set a limit, such as a time limit in which you are going to be happy with your ring without upgrading, or a size limit as to how many carats you are going to have, an amount of money you are going to stop spending when you reach, or some other type of limit. Otherwise, you are never going to be truly *happy* with your ring. It's really hard to do that, when you frequent a forum such as this one. The SMTR thread alone is enough to keep one constantly wishing they had something else. I'm always seeing a ring or a stone posted that makes me think, "boy, don't I wish...". Even without out PS, every so often I will see a ring in a magazine ad, or in a jeweler's shop, or on someone's finger that makes me think maybe there is something out there that I would like better than the ring I have. But then, I give myself a mental shake, and realize that I've set my own limits and try really hard to stick to them...sort of...

.

I actually found this forum in my quest for settings when I decided to reset my original diamonds. Then I saw all the pretty rings and GORGEOUS rocks that so many of the other PS members had, and it made me want something more! I'm different than most, though...not really looking for bigger so much as better, so I'm throwing my entire chunk of spending limit for this period of time into what I consider a mind clean ideal stone with a high color and clarity. That was MY limit. This year.

 

[Demelza]

SJZ -- so, what are you getting? I'm in the process of an upgrade to a larger ideal cut stone which means lowering the color 2 steps (G to an I). I'm curious what your thoughts are on upgrading color and clarity, but not size.

I know, I know -- the upgrade monster is alive and well on PS these days. Sometimes I wonder if I should set a limit for myself with PS (i.e. you can't look at the SMTR forum). I think it's best to white knuckle it for as much time as you can. If you're still thinking about those bigger side stones and just can't get them out of your mind, then maybe you should go for it.

 

[Joane]

Date: 8/5/2005 11:39:40 PM
Author:roppongi

The jeweler said that a true 3 stone ring has sides that are half of the size of the center. I looked down at my ring and knew that my sides were not half of my center

.

Just because one jeweler said this doesn''t mean it''s written in stone. That description is only one design of three-stone ring. There could be many and yours sounds like a lovely example of a three-stone ring!

 

[maxspinel]

People always want more, but within reason. After 24 years of marriage, I still have my .3 carat engagement ring, same style, same setting and no upgrades. Even though I''ve since acquired much bigger and more spectacular stones, the engagement ring represents something very special and it is safety tucked away as my most valuable treasure. Its beauty cannot be measured by how big is the center stone or the side stones. It is the symbol of love which is meant to last for a lifetime.

It sometimes helps to put things into perspective. What is the true meaning of a diamond engagement ring? There is always a bigger, better and more beautiful stone but please remember there is only one such special person who gives you that special ring (not stones) at that very special moment. The memories and love make the diamond forever, not the stone itself or the setting.

Anyway, personally, I love solitaires since it makes the center stone stands out. Sides stones, when too big, instead of complement, will distract from the beauty of the center stone. The 3 stone design works well for smaller stones; however, with a 3 carat size diamond, I think a simple solitary design is very elegant and 3 stone design especially big sides can sometimes look too busy.

 

[Mara]

The upgrade monster has been alive and kicking very hard for many people in the last few months!! We've seen some great additions and modifications to rings etc.

Funny thing...I adore the asscher stones and especially think wow it'd be fab to have a big ole asscher one day. My avatar picture doesn't help either, I think it looks great.

Well I went into CH Premier and tried on a ~3-4c asscher (can't recall but it was very large) in a halo'd Daniel K / Lovey setting. BEAUTIFUL setting and just droolworthy. Well on my hand it looked kind of like crap! Just not beautiful at all unfortunately...

But then I tried on a 2.38c round and it looked like it was right at home on my hand.

It's funny how you think you want something or looking at pictures in SMTR makes you want everything under the sun but in reality only a few styles may really 'work' for you. So I say if you have found something that works and the jump in $$ isn't too much, why not upgrade? If it makes you happy. But that is the key thing, if it makes you happy. As someone else said, sometimes being here on PS makes you want and want and you are never happy. It's hard to realize reality vs. PS reality!

But do what you want! If upgrading makes you happy rather than getting a new piece then do it. I am more a few single pieces girl so if I have all of those set then I want the bigger rock...

 

[MrsFrk]

What nonsense that jeweler was spouting!
There have been threads here where people vote on the best size for sidestones, the opinions are all over the place.
I think you need to ask yourself this: does the opinion of a STRANGER who you spoke to for mere minutes REALLY matter that much?!? One comment by some random jeweler has launched you into this tizzy.
Take a deep breath, and think rationally.
Until you heard this comment you loved your ring, right?

 

[pearcrazy]

I think you should leave well enough alone. Most people would be happy with just ONE .75 carat stone much less TWO of them flanking a 3 carat center. Remember that your jeweler stands to profit greatly from another upgrade so I''m not sure that her opinion is unbiased.

 

[fire&ice]

I don''t think there are any hard and fast rules. I would say - go with what looks the best on your hand. To carry off the proportions you are thinking about takes quite a wide finger.

 

[karenleah15]

I am having shrinkage myself right now. We upgraded my .54 ct to a 1.01 ct. I wore it for awhile then one day didn''t. I realized I wanted a BETTER diamond not a bigger one. So we took back the 1.01ct and got a BEAUTIFUL .80! I love it!!!! I look at it always!!!! But now.....of course I am thinking I should have stuck with the 1.01 ct. UGH! I know I could get the one carat with the quaility that I need but I dont know. There is a point when it is enough. Just the other day I was getting my car worked on and when I went to pay the bill the gal that rang me up looked at my ring. I just felt werid. I know a .80 is NOT huge but at that moment it felt huge. Her diamond was about 1/4 carat. I just felt odd.

Since that point I decided to NOT ever again upgrade. I refuse to be spoiled. We took the money we set aside to upgrade again and sent it to the Seattle Union Gospel Mission. I feel so much better helping someone in need than getting yet another rock for myself.

I think you just have to come to a point when you know enough is enough. You will know when you get there. Try not wearng your diamond for a few days and see if that helps the shrinkage. It works for a friend of mine when she gets like this LOL!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Do you have any pics of your ring? Sometimes its hard to give an opinion sight unseen. Sounds like your ring is beautiful as it is but I of all people I understand your upgrade dilemma!

Let a few days pass - sometimes the fever passes too! I used to go in jewelry stores all the time - I still do at times but I figure I can''t miss what I don''t see or know about

!