- Joined
- Dec 6, 2014
- Messages
- 2,122
Hey guys,
So this might seem like a bit of a sad and dreary post, but I am looking for some advice and guidance from those who have also been bullied on how to handle a situation that they may be forced into unwillingly. Here's a short of it all:
When I was growing up I didn't play video games, computer games or anything like that. From a young age my father handed me fishing rods, knives, bows etc and raised me to love the outdoors and be a woodsman in case one day I found myself in the wilderness. I cannot seriously thank my father enough for the experience he gave me as a child; between all the animal and fish knowledge, hunting and subsistence skills that he has taught me - I have now basically a skill set where I feel like I can enter any environment with minimal items and thrive off what I can find and what I know. I basically have my father to thank for teaching me how to live without needing any creature comforts, while I don't choose to live this way it is an option I can make if I have to.
Most of my friends that I have nowadays admire my skills and are sometimes even wanting me to teach them, but it was not always this way. When I was in high school this passion proved to be my social downfall; as we all know kids are cruel and will find the tallest poppy or the nail that sticks out in order to destroy it. So I was basically bullied through my entire high school years, names like 'caveman', 'neanderthal', 'evolutions missing link' etc being an hourly event (oh and liking heavy metal music is a death sentence as well). However it didn't get to it's darkest moment until just after the end.
The last year of high school and the first year after was vicious, fights were becoming more and more frequent for me as I took less and less crap and decided to stand up for myself against my 'classmates' after 5 years of torment. Approximately 12 months after I finished high school I had been diagnosed with PTSD and had begun to take a lot of cocaine and speed to escape my interim reality between my former hellish life and my current adult life which I hadn't quite started at the time. It was at that point that I had decided the best thing for me to do was to emancipate myself from the people from my high school life. Students, parents, siblings, teachers etc. I cut out the entire community to heal myself and start life again.
So fast forward to now, I'm happily married and doing what I want to do with myself for the most part. I'm living 700 miles away from where I went to school, I've got my boy-toys, I'd moved past that part of my life...or so I thought...
Yesterday I received a message inviting me to a 10 year school reunion, which I had initially responded to with something along the lines of 'Sorry but I believe you may have sent this to the wrong person'. I had disregarded this message but soon realized I was the right recipient of the message when I got a reply saying 'Eyy Caveman it's you yeah? sup bro you still rubbing sticks together and throwing spears at Kangaroos?'
Instantly, I felt bitter and started shaking when I read that. All those memories that were gone for nearly ten years had come flooding back. I literally have not replied to that message since.
Here's my dilemma; I have family and friends saying that I should go to the reunion as 'people change over time, they become nicer, they forget etc' and that it may help with full recovery and closure from the PTSD that I suffered from their harrassment. I don't tend to agree with that theory, yet I have people around me telling me to not be stubborn and to reach out to those guys. The last time I saw any of those guys face to face, it ended in a fist fight so right around then I decided to start my life over to heal from my previous one.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this where they were reunited (for lack of a better word) with a bully or people who had caused them nothing but grief and anger? If so, how did it go? What were you most worried about? What were you most confident about? I feel like I may have no choice but go to this event and want to make sure I am preparing myself correctly to come out the other side OK.
Abbreviation: I'm possibly bumping into my bullies from high school and am wondering if anyone would agree/disagree that people don't necessarily change over time.
So this might seem like a bit of a sad and dreary post, but I am looking for some advice and guidance from those who have also been bullied on how to handle a situation that they may be forced into unwillingly. Here's a short of it all:
When I was growing up I didn't play video games, computer games or anything like that. From a young age my father handed me fishing rods, knives, bows etc and raised me to love the outdoors and be a woodsman in case one day I found myself in the wilderness. I cannot seriously thank my father enough for the experience he gave me as a child; between all the animal and fish knowledge, hunting and subsistence skills that he has taught me - I have now basically a skill set where I feel like I can enter any environment with minimal items and thrive off what I can find and what I know. I basically have my father to thank for teaching me how to live without needing any creature comforts, while I don't choose to live this way it is an option I can make if I have to.
Most of my friends that I have nowadays admire my skills and are sometimes even wanting me to teach them, but it was not always this way. When I was in high school this passion proved to be my social downfall; as we all know kids are cruel and will find the tallest poppy or the nail that sticks out in order to destroy it. So I was basically bullied through my entire high school years, names like 'caveman', 'neanderthal', 'evolutions missing link' etc being an hourly event (oh and liking heavy metal music is a death sentence as well). However it didn't get to it's darkest moment until just after the end.
The last year of high school and the first year after was vicious, fights were becoming more and more frequent for me as I took less and less crap and decided to stand up for myself against my 'classmates' after 5 years of torment. Approximately 12 months after I finished high school I had been diagnosed with PTSD and had begun to take a lot of cocaine and speed to escape my interim reality between my former hellish life and my current adult life which I hadn't quite started at the time. It was at that point that I had decided the best thing for me to do was to emancipate myself from the people from my high school life. Students, parents, siblings, teachers etc. I cut out the entire community to heal myself and start life again.
So fast forward to now, I'm happily married and doing what I want to do with myself for the most part. I'm living 700 miles away from where I went to school, I've got my boy-toys, I'd moved past that part of my life...or so I thought...
Yesterday I received a message inviting me to a 10 year school reunion, which I had initially responded to with something along the lines of 'Sorry but I believe you may have sent this to the wrong person'. I had disregarded this message but soon realized I was the right recipient of the message when I got a reply saying 'Eyy Caveman it's you yeah? sup bro you still rubbing sticks together and throwing spears at Kangaroos?'
Instantly, I felt bitter and started shaking when I read that. All those memories that were gone for nearly ten years had come flooding back. I literally have not replied to that message since.
Here's my dilemma; I have family and friends saying that I should go to the reunion as 'people change over time, they become nicer, they forget etc' and that it may help with full recovery and closure from the PTSD that I suffered from their harrassment. I don't tend to agree with that theory, yet I have people around me telling me to not be stubborn and to reach out to those guys. The last time I saw any of those guys face to face, it ended in a fist fight so right around then I decided to start my life over to heal from my previous one.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this where they were reunited (for lack of a better word) with a bully or people who had caused them nothing but grief and anger? If so, how did it go? What were you most worried about? What were you most confident about? I feel like I may have no choice but go to this event and want to make sure I am preparing myself correctly to come out the other side OK.
Abbreviation: I'm possibly bumping into my bullies from high school and am wondering if anyone would agree/disagree that people don't necessarily change over time.