Tipping a delivery driver

[CJ2008]

DH ordered takeout yesterday - a sub, fries, and some mozzarella sticks ($21 total, including the $1.50 delivery charge) - and as usual, we tipped the delivery guy $3, in loose change ($2 of it in quarters, the other dollar in dimes).

This morning we found the change pile by our garage. At first I thought he must have dropped it, but It wasn't scattered (plus it would have made noise so he would have heard it), so it seems like it was placed there as in "thanks, but keep it."

I feel embarrassed but also annoyed at the same time - I feel like the driver should have graciously accepted the tip, even if change isn't ideal. Obviously, he feels somewhat the same way - and that we shouldn't have tipped in change.

I wish he would have handled it differently, although I realize there really is not many other ways to get the message across other than to say it to us on the spot like "oh no it's OK, I prefer to not carry change." I would have felt embarrassed there too so maybe leaving it by the garage was actually more polite.

But I don't know.

If it's really terrible to tip in change then I / we want to know...

What do you think?

 

[iLander]

Sigh. People today.

He should have taken it, it's legal tender.

Change snobs. Will wonders never cease?

 

[junebug17]

I don't think you did anything wrong CJ2008, money is money but…honestly, I don't tip with change, I just feel it's kind of cumbersome for the delivery person.

 

[KaeKae]

I think the driver was very rude. For all he knows, that take out was a splurge for you and you made sure he got a tip, even if it came from the bottom of your purse. If he's spending his shift driving around to deliver, how much would it be to store the change in his car (cup holder maybe?) until he's done? (And, while you may be a regular customer for his takeout, he still doesn't know your exact financial situation.)

 

[telephone89]

I don't think he was being rude. You dont know WHY he left the money, and are just speculating. Maybe he thought you needed it more, maybe its against company policy, maybe he doesnt like accepting cash tips because of taxes. I dont know, all possible answers. I never have cash, so I never tip in cash, so its really an issue with me. I guess its different for you guys because you have dollar bills. In canada, we have 1$ and 2$ coins. So, to answer your question, I personally wouldn't want a handful of nickles/dimes/quarters, however if I got a few loonies or toonies, i'd be okay with it. Plus, having the fact that our first bill is 5$, I think 5$ tip on a 20$ order is a bit high for the driver. So I would have given him change too! I dont think you need to change the way you do anything, I dont think you did anything 'wrong'. Best case senario, you saved some money!

 

[katharath]

It is kind of odd, but I don't find it totally surprising. People are weird about change. I think it's just getting worse, due to technology. Each generation seems to use less and less physical cash to pay for things, so maybe it's leading to an increased dislike of it? I don't know, just a thought. (I will try to ask my brother what he thinks about this; he used to deliver pizza as a second job/while going to school. He might have a different perspective).

We order a lot of takeout, and I've tipped with change in the past, but never anything other than a few quarters. Max, I'd say I've included 4 quarters to make up an extra dollar. I always assume that they'd prefer to get the extra dollar even if it's change. However with that said, sometimes I get the "side eye" when I add ANY quarters. Maybe they see it from the other side, like, if I include two quarters I can see them thinking "well she's too cheap to just give the full dollar" - but in reality it's that I didn't have the full dollar, so I'm giving you the extra that I had just to be nice - if you didn't get the quarters, you'd just be getting less overall, lol. (Hope that made sense!)

But TBH, I never actually tip anything smaller than a quarter bc I just get the impression that it annoys people. (I guess that may come from having worked retail in the past, and having people take forever to pay in change, which is incredibly annoying when you have people waiting behind you. That would always stress me out when I was ringing someone up, I knew it made the other people waiting restless, and apt to take it out on me!!)

So for me, I draw the line at giving out quarters for a tip, nothing smaller, and I don't do more than 4 max. I can just see it in their eyes sometimes when I hand them even just 4 quarters, it's this look like, OMG, change!! Lol.

To me it's weird that he left the change though, bc if he didn't want to carry it, it's not like he couldn't have just left it in his car. He probably could've changed it out at work for dollars, too. While I understand being annoyed at getting change, I do not understand refusing it! That's just silly.

(Incidentally, I've heard that cash tips are preferred because then they don't "have" to be taxed on them - of course they're supposed to add that in, but I gather that many do not. We order takeout a lot, and I've been told multiple times that drivers prefer a cash tip, so I try to always do it if I have it - even if I just paid for the order with a credit/debit card, I'll pay the tip in cash. Just last week I had a driver tell me that he appreciated the cash tip bc "no taxes!" - exact words, lol).


Some miscellaneous tipping comments...

I tend toward overtipping, and I'll tip for things that wouldn't even occur to other people, but I think that comes from having lived in Las Vegas for the last ~15 years. You really get used to tipping for every little thing here. I don't really mind it, my dad has always been a generous tipper, so I grew up seeing that. I have to admit that it REALLY, really irks me when friends come to town and don't tip for even super basic things, I feel like I have to apologize for their behavior. I have friends that I literally follow behind and tip all of the people that they ignored! Actually it's two friends in particular, but one is an incredible cheapskate of the highest variety, so I expect it from her. The other is due more to ignorance, I think. The cheapskate friend has the most successful husband of the group of us, so it's not bc they don't have the money; it's bc she is cheap, lol. Unfortunately this friend and I aren't really friends anymore - it's not over the cheapskate quality, but I have to admit, that didn't help. We've actually argued over her (lack of) tipping, bc it gets old to me to have to be the one to cover all of those little costs anytime she visits. It just makes me want to avoid her!

 

[momhappy]

I don't think you did anything wrong CJ2008, money is money but…honestly, I don't tip with change, I just feel it's kind of cumbersome for the delivery person.

I agree with this - while you didn't do anything wrong, I wouldn't tip in change either. For some reason, change seems kind of cheap even though money is money.

 

[missy]

I don't think you did anything wrong CJ2008, money is money but…honestly, I don't tip with change, I just feel it's kind of cumbersome for the delivery person.

I agree with this - while you didn't do anything wrong, I wouldn't tip in change either. For some reason, change seems kind of cheap even though money is money.

I agree with this as well. However the driver behaved very foolishly and rudely IMO and it would piss me off that he did that. Tipping in change is perhaps not the best way to tip but at least CJ tipped and it is ruder to behave the way the driver did and he deserves getting no tip for his rude behavior. I guess he is so well off financially he can turn his nose up at money no matter the form.

I always tip via CC as it is just easier that way. No change, no fuss, no muss. In the rare instance that CC is not accepted I tip in cash and then it is in bills not change. My dh also hates change and I don't carry a change purse so we never have change anyway.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

I usually pay with a card, so i am not tipping with cash. In the rare instance i pay cash, i generally err on tipping a little over 20% - i will just tell them "give me such and such back and keep the rest". I think it is kind of rude that the driver left it by your garage, money is money. Unfortunately we don'ty know the reason they left it...it would have been more awkward at the door to say "hey i don't really want to carry change". I would think it's pretty odd to tip with change though. I hate change and the only place i use it is at the coinstar machines to cash it in.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Whether you agree with it or not, coins are cumbersome and often inconvenient. Coins in the sofa, in car ashtrays, loose in drawers and found in pockets. I have dealt with vendors who do not take coins (quarters, dimes and nickels) for payment, even tho it is currency. I assumed they did not want to "roll" coins to take to the bank. Even the bank has automatic coin machines so tellers do not have to manage a lot of incoming coin.

I would not tip in change. IMHO, I don't think the driver was rude--throwing the change would have been rude and discourteous. Frankly, this is a no win situation for the driver...

cheers--Sharon

 

[CJ2008]

Thanks for the feedback, guys...

Looks like for sure, giving change as tip should really be a last resort.

I think where I net out as far as how I feel about it is one behavior doesn't excuse the other.

Meaning it was not ideal or gracious that I gave him change AND it was not ideal or gracious that he did not accept the change.

And I have to admit that it will bother me if we get this particular driver again and I give him dollar bills because just as I don't know why he left the money, he doesn't know why I gave him change. Maybe I really didn't have anything else.

Well, I learned something...we''ll go out of our way to tip in dollar bills from now on.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I think it was rude of him to have done that. I try not to tip with change as I know it is cumbersome...but honestly he could have/should have said "no thank you" instead of rudely just dumping it.


{Last time I took my spare change into the bank I came home with $42. Maybe he shouldn't have been so picky!}

 

[dk168]

A tip is a tip, whether it is in loose change or not, it is still money, IMHO.

DK

 

[momhappy]

Thanks for the feedback, guys...

Looks like for sure, giving change as tip should really be a last resort.

I think where I net out as far as how I feel about it is one behavior doesn't excuse the other.

Meaning it was not ideal or gracious that I gave him change AND it was not ideal or gracious that he did not accept the change.

And I have to admit that it will bother me if we get this particular driver again and I give him dollar bills because just as I don't know why he left the money, he doesn't know why I gave him change. Maybe I really didn't have anything else.

Well, I learned something...we''ll go out of our way to tip in dollar bills from now on.

This is a great way os looking at it, CJ and I agree that one behavior doesn't excuse the other.

 

[stracci2000]

I think it was rude of the delivery guy to leave the change.
If he didn't want it, he could've just passed it on to some needy person on the streetcorner, or put it in a tip jar somewhere.
Or bought himself a coffee the next morning. What a dolt.

 

[PintoBean]

I think the delivery person should appreciate your intent.

We still have dime meters here, and I would assume that if the delivery person drives a car, and needs to pull up by a meter, that change would come in handy for sure!

When I'm tired at night, that's when I order takeout, and one time I did the math wrong and 20% would have been $4 and I gave $2 and it was a different delivery guy than usual, and as he walked away down the hall, he made sure to say "cheap!" Under his breath loud enough so that i could hear him. I was mortified. After that, I just waited for DH to come home and we would double and triple check our math.

 

[canuk-gal]

Someone may offer a tip. The recipient can refuse. Isn't this the case, it was refused?

So the refusal wasn't acceptable?

 

[CJ2008]

Someone may offer a tip. The recipient can refuse. Isn't this the case, it was refused?

So the refusal wasn't acceptable?

Technically, yes, he can refuse it...

In any way he wants...rudely, nicely, silently...

Doesn't make some of those ways of refusing it not "rude" or not gracious if you don't want to go as far as saying it was rude...(that guy calling pintobean cheap was rude even if the tip was NOT enough.)

Putting the change by my garage doesn't seem like the nicest way of not accepting the tip.

He could have done a lot of different things - but all would have taken more courage and personality and giving us the benefit of the doubt. He could have accepted it this time - given us the benefit of the doubt- and then decided that the next time if we give him change he could say "do you by any chance have dollar bills instead of change? not that I don't appreciate it but I would so much prefer if you could give it to me in bills so I don't have to go change them later."

But...that's easier said than done, and I understand it's much easier to just leave the coins by the side of my house...

So technically it's OK he did that - like technically it's OK that I gave him change...but on either side, not the ideal way to do things...and on his part definitely not ideal way to build up good feelings on the part of the customer he's going to most likely deliver to again...

 

[PintoBean]

I think what would put my mind at ease is to imagine that this poor guy has a loose change phobia and he just can't talk about it, address it, he appreciates the tip, and he held onto it as long as he could and when he was out of your line of sight, he just LET IT GO by your garage!

 

[CJ2008]

I think what would put my mind at ease is to imagine that this poor guy has a loose change phobia and he just can't talk about it, address it, he appreciates the tip, and he held onto it as long as he could and when he was out of your line of sight, he just LET IT GO by your garage!

hahahaha that may work, pinto!

I loved telephone's answer, BTW, because it made me consider many different (even if unlikely) reasons why he may have left the change by the garage.

I had "kind of" done this myself too but ultimately I settled on he was saying thanks no thanks and not in the nicest of ways.

But the truth is I DON'T know what he was thinking.

So I will try to not hold it against him...telling myself your story will help!

 

[canuk-gal]

Someone may offer a tip. The recipient can refuse. Isn't this the case, it was refused?

So the refusal wasn't acceptable?

Technically, yes, he can refuse it...


He did leave it. Technically.

[/i]You had a lot of time to calculate. Down to the dime.

He had 10 seconds. Apparently it was easier to leave it then do the ends justify the means argument you've provided here.....


He could have done a lot of different things - but all would have taken more courage and personality and giving us the benefit of the doubt. He could have accepted it this time - given us the benefit of the doubt- and then decided that the next time if we give him change he could say "do you by any chance have dollar bills instead of change? not that I don't appreciate it but I would so much prefer if you could give it to me in bills so I don't have to go change them later."

But...that's easier said than done, and I understand it's much easier to just leave the coins by the side of my house...

So technically it's OK he did that - like technically it's OK that I gave him change...but on either side, not the ideal way to do things...and on his part definitely not ideal way to build up good feelings on the part of the customer he's going to most likely deliver to again...

I'll repeat he just can't win.

 

[CJ2008]

Someone may offer a tip. The recipient can refuse. Isn't this the case, it was refused?

So the refusal wasn't acceptable?

Technically, yes, he can refuse it...


He did leave it. Technically.

[/i]You had a lot of time to calculate. Down to the dime.

He had 10 seconds. Apparently it was easier to leave it then do the ends justify the means argument you've provided here.....


He could have done a lot of different things - but all would have taken more courage and personality and giving us the benefit of the doubt. He could have accepted it this time - given us the benefit of the doubt- and then decided that the next time if we give him change he could say "do you by any chance have dollar bills instead of change? not that I don't appreciate it but I would so much prefer if you could give it to me in bills so I don't have to go change them later."

But...that's easier said than done, and I understand it's much easier to just leave the coins by the side of my house...

So technically it's OK he did that - like technically it's OK that I gave him change...but on either side, not the ideal way to do things...and on his part definitely not ideal way to build up good feelings on the part of the customer he's going to most likely deliver to again...

I'll repeat he just can't win.

He could have won, if he had been more direct...and nice...

And if you think about it, we can't win either...

He didn't know why we gave him the change...

 

[OreoRosies86]

It was rude of him to dump the change, but I always try to have a minimum of 5 bucks on hand for delivery. Sometimes (I speak from experience) when it's a low tip and/or a ton of change, there is a strong urge to just hand it back to the person like "Thanks, but no thanks." Sorry it made you feel crappy though, there are definitely better ways to handle frustration.

 

[nala]

Couldn't he have just kept the change and left it in his car? I always keep change in the thingie under my dash. Comes in super handy for coffee in the morning! It's not like his only option was to carry the change in his pocket. He was obviously trying to send a message for future reference. I wouldn't feel comfortable ordering from that place again. If he is immature enough to send that passive aggressive message, he might be immature enough to spit on your food because he might expect a tip he doesn't appreciate again.

 

[CJ2008]

Nala - I was thinking about that very thing this morning...

I am starting to think I should not order from that delivery place again, in case we would get that driver...because I agree that if he is immature enough to leave the change by the garage - he is probably capable of doing something to our food.

We are 20% or more tippers at restaurants - always - unless there is really good reason to leave less, and that doesn't happen often at all. But I have to admit, $5 seems high to me for a delivery, even though I know many of you here tip $5...and I don't calculate 20% on a delivery order. $3 seems OK to me for most deliveries...but maybe $4 instead of $3 is more in line with any orders over say $20?

 

[momhappy]

but again, maybe he had enough change in his car…. If he's like most people, we already have a ton of change in the car, at home, etc. I find change to be annoying at times. It ends up in my junk drawer, my laundry room counter, the bottom of my purse, etc. The bank won't even take it anymore, unless I roll it and who has time for that? I end up taking it to one of those coin machines and to avoid the fees, I turn it into an Amazon gift card (since I shop there anyways).
I don't think anyone could know why exactly the delivery driver chose to leave the change behind, but he did and that was that. Tipping in change is probably not the most ideal scenario for any delivery driver, but since money is money, I would hope that most would be grateful and accepting of it. I agree with you CJ about probably not ordering from that restaurant again - assuming that I had plenty of other choices.

 

[marymm]

Okay, you handed over a tip, a small handful of 18 coins, the driver took it, decided 18 coins was not going to work for him (no place in his car? would weigh down his pocket too much? hates coins as a matter of principle?) and then left it by your garage - it wasn't really rude of you to tip with coins because, hey, money is money; but you had to know that coins would not be the first choice of anyone receiving $3.00 [if a salesperson tried to hand you back $3.00 in coins, wouldn't you be surprised and rather annoyed?] - and it wasn't really rude of him to decide that he'd rather leave the coins at your place than carry them around.

Of course you already knew tips in bills is what is expected and generally offered; of course he knows coins are legal tender/money - both of you chose to act in ways that best fit your particular circumstances: you wanted to give a tip but had no bills; he preferred no coins over the money value of $3.00. I see no insults here.

Rather than dwell on it and blow it up bigger than it deserves, I would suggest viewing the delivery person in the same way as you are viewing yourself - as you acted in good faith offering the handful of coins as a tip thinking the money value was the most important criteria, he too acted in good faith in accepting the coins but assessing their value was not worth their weight/inconvenience.

So keep a stash of dollar bills at home, and order from that same take-out again if you like their food...

[just my two cents]

 

[CJ2008]

You're both right momhappy and marymm.

For all I know the delivery person is the nicest kid and just had no idea what to do with the change - he just knew he didn't want it. ETA I totally understand how in the moment he may not have had time to figure out the best way to handle it he just did what came to him.

ETA I had "arrived" to a similar conclusion previously...what you see is me going between wanting the "better" path which is to give the benefit of the doubt/understanding/not making any assumptions and giving in to the reaction of feeling annoyed/angry and assuming he did not act with good intentions.

Dwelling is relative though - some people need more time or thinking than others to arrive at how they really feel about something. I enjoy the process and I appreciate and weigh all input.

However...as much as I'd like to give the delivery guy the benefit of the doubt I'd be too nervous he'd do something to our food.I don't think we'd order from there again unless we go pick it up.

 

[Laila619]

Geez! Some people...if he didn't want the change, I'd have taken it! Seems pretty ungrateful to me. Some people who aren't so fortunate would love to have that change...it could buy their next loaf of bread.

 

[ame]

DH and I both worked in several restaurants in the past, and we both take this kind of stuff very seriously, as well as service in general. The drivers don't get that delivery fee you're charged. That's the restaurant charging you for packing it up to go, and some charge you a ridiculous amount to do it. I tip the driver just like I would if I was in a restaurant, and we're fairly generous, we also tip for carryout because many restaurants screw the person doing the carryout order, as it skips them in rotation for a table. That's how it is in a lot of restaurants, including those that have a designated carryout service, believe it or not. So you stiffing them on carryout means they just did all the work for nothing.

But in this case...*tangent forthcoming* Tipping someone change, to me, is totally obnoxious, and really is almost worse than being stiffed, unless it's literally all you have and you explain that up front. Yes, he could've politely refused, and we have no idea what he was thinking when he dumped it. But in many cases they'd probably rather get stiffed than get change. And you can always call the place back--esp if you charged it--and say hey can you tack on a tip, I didn't have cash like I thought I did. I've done that before, and they've done it in the cases I didn't fill out a slip for the tip. Throwing it in the trash was probably his way of being like "they suck, I have nowhere to put all this change." And I suspect they noted in your "file" back at the restaurant "crappy tipper, tips with change, beware" so that next time you order from them, they don't try as hard to get your order right, or in any sort of timely fashion because the driver won't expect much from you. Perhaps obnoxious, but that's how that works, and is often how ridiculously crazy "names" end up on receipts, that end up as a viral story later. Keep in mind that many of these people are kids, and kids are kids.

Just my handful of change from past experience.