packrat
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2008
- Messages
- 10,614
JD said if it's just verbal, they don't remove the kids. If it's physical, and they're called, and the arrest him, he can't go back to the house b/c upon arrest there is an automatic protective order. He can go back one time w/escort, to get clothes or something, but otherwise, he's out until the case goes to court. I asked if DHS would take the kids. He said they report it and "DHS does what DHS does" with face. Not a fan as you can tell...but then again, having seen what's he's seen, I don't blame him.
All states are different on how things are handled-Iowa could be and probably is completely different than where she is.
After a while...there's really only so much you can do. When I was asking JD about it, his first question was "Does she even WANT to leave?"--and that's going to always be the first question. Usually they want to, until it comes down to the wire, and then the mind changes. When there's kids involved, I feel like it's..I don't know, it's not about YOU (not you-you, the one being abused-you) anymore and you need to do right by your kids, period. By not doing anything, you're telling your kids it's ok to treat people like that and to be treated like that. The kids safety and well being trumps yours.
In some ways, similar to my relative's situation. They're "working it out" again. As per usual. So, I'm just going to assume he enjoys being treated that way and let it go.
Find out what resources are available and let her know what they are. She has to do it herself. Or, since DHS can't just show up and take the kids based on nothing, you could google and find the local office to wherever she is at and talk to them. They can take it from there, open a case and investigate and then they'll either do something or not based on what they find.
All states are different on how things are handled-Iowa could be and probably is completely different than where she is.
After a while...there's really only so much you can do. When I was asking JD about it, his first question was "Does she even WANT to leave?"--and that's going to always be the first question. Usually they want to, until it comes down to the wire, and then the mind changes. When there's kids involved, I feel like it's..I don't know, it's not about YOU (not you-you, the one being abused-you) anymore and you need to do right by your kids, period. By not doing anything, you're telling your kids it's ok to treat people like that and to be treated like that. The kids safety and well being trumps yours.
In some ways, similar to my relative's situation. They're "working it out" again. As per usual. So, I'm just going to assume he enjoys being treated that way and let it go.
Find out what resources are available and let her know what they are. She has to do it herself. Or, since DHS can't just show up and take the kids based on nothing, you could google and find the local office to wherever she is at and talk to them. They can take it from there, open a case and investigate and then they'll either do something or not based on what they find.