Does anyone know anything about the Jewish engagement rule?

[velouriaL]

My aunt mentioned something to me the other day about Jewish couples not being able to get engaged for a certain period after passover or something along those lines...

I am culturally Jewish, but not very observant. My BF''s a Italian/Swedish-Catholic/Lutheran (non-practicing). Although, as said, I''m not very observant, but I like to pay attention or at least be aware of the little things, if possible.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/16/2005 11:47:15 AM
Author:velouriaL
My aunt mentioned something to me the other day about Jewish couples not being able to get engaged for a certain period after passover or something along those lines...

I am not Jewish, but am interested. I looked for the answer on the 'net, but saw nothing about any such prohibition. I *did* learn a few new things about traditional Jewish marriages, however! I found a site called Judaism 101, which was riveting!

Deb

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/16/2005 12:24:34 PM
Author: AGBF
I looked for the answer on the 'net, but saw nothing about any such prohibition.

I should have said "yet"! I just found the following on setting the date for a Jewish wedding:

"You can marry at any time of the day, though it is most usual to marry in the afternoon or evening. Most people choose to marry on a Sunday or a Tuesday - a particularly significant day, as this was when God blessed His creation doubly.

A few months before you intend to get married, you must register with a synagogue and Rabbi at the Chief Rabbi's office, based in Finchley, London. For more details, contact the Jewish Marriage Council on 020 8203 6311.

It is forbidden to get married in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost, and during three weeks between July and August. It is also forbidden to marry on the Sabbath or on festival days. If you want to get married on a Saturday, the ceremony is not allowed to begin earlier than two hours after sundown."

Marriage Laws


Deborah

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Date: 5/16/2005 12:33:18 PM
Author: AGBF

It is forbidden to get married in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost, and during three weeks between July and August. It is also forbidden to marry on the Sabbath or on festival days. If you want to get married on a Saturday, the ceremony is not allowed to begin earlier than two hours after sundown.''

Deborah

This actually happened to my cousin and her husband at their wedding! They got married by a Rabbi and didn''t consider the difference of sunset between Daylight Savings Time. They got married in April 2004 and the wedding was delayed by almost an hour because the Rabbi refused to leave his home until after Sabbath was complete. They wanted to get married on a Saturday, so obviously this was an unavoidable delay...

 

[velouriaL]

So maybe it''s just the wedding that can''t be held during certain times... hopefully not the engagement!

 

[Orange]

Here you go (I think it mainly applies to weddings and parties, not engagements, especially if you''re not religious):

"According to the Torah (Lev. 23:15), we are obligated to count the days from the second night of Passover to the day before Shavu''ot, seven full weeks. This period is known as the Counting of the Omer. An omer is a unit of measure. On the second day of Passover, in the days of the Temple, an omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering.

Every night, from the second night of Passover to the night before Shavu''ot, we recite a blessing and state the count of the omer in both weeks and days. So on the 16th day, you would say "Today is sixteen days, which is two weeks and two days of the Omer."

The counting is intended to remind us of the link between Passover, which commemorates the Exodus, and Shavu''ot, which commemorates the giving of the Torah. It reminds us that the redemption from slavery was not complete until we received the Torah.

This period is a time of partial mourning, during which weddings, parties, and dinners with dancing are not conducted, in memory of a plague during the lifetime of Rabbi Akiba. Haircuts during this time are also forbidden. The 33rd day of the Omer (the eighteenth of Iyar) is a minor holiday commemorating a break in the plague. The holiday is known as Lag b''Omer. The mourning practices of the omer period are lifted on that date."

Jewish Year 5765: sunset May 26, 2005 - nightfall May 27, 2005
Jewish Year 5766: sunset May 15, 2006 - nightfall May 16, 2006

 

[Asschman]

Date: 5/16/2005 11:47:15 AM
Author:velouriaL
My aunt mentioned something to me the other day about Jewish couples not being able to get engaged for a certain period after passover or something along those lines...

I am culturally Jewish, but not very observant. My BF''s a Italian/Swedish-Catholic/Lutheran (non-practicing). Although, as said, I''m not very observant, but I like to pay attention or at least be aware of the little things, if possible.

Just wanted to add my first-hand experiences with this, as a non-practicing goy marrying his chosen one. I have never heard or read anything about certain periods being verboten for proposing marriage, but the other posts have provided good information on some restrictions when the marriage can take place.

A key factor in the marriage planning is the rabbi--most will not preside over a mixed-faith marriage. You can find Reform or Reconstructionist rabbis at the Rabbinic Center for Research and Counseling website who will do these types of marriages, and I have found them to be more flexible about the timing of the marriage, i.e., it doesn''t have to be exactly two hours after sundown before they would swing into action.

We are in fact getting married during the Counting of the Omer--the rabbi ok''ed the date, even though it doesn''t fall on the Lag B''Omer.

Hope this helps.

Matt

 

[velouriaL]

Thanks! This is really great information. I think my aunt was referring to a comment made by a Hassidic Jew who actually sold her husband her engagement ring... maybe, depending on your level of observance, engagements are a no-no during the Counting of the Omer. Sigh... I know nothing about any of this. Might be fun to take a Judaism 101 class sometime...