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If you die tomorrow what will you regret the most?
- Thread starter Dancing Fire
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Not having enough time with my loved ones especially my husband. I met my dh in my early 30's and I want to grow old with him and recently it has been on my mind that this might not be possible. Life has a way of happening in ways we don't always expect or want.
This is my biggest desire. The main thing that I hope for-that my dh and I can grow old together in relative health and happiness. I love him with all my heart and never thought I would be so crazy in love with someone but there you have it.
But with great love come greater risks and that is the risk of losing your great love. So what I would regret most would be not getting to spend enough time with my dh. Life happens so fast.
Sorry to be so morbid so early in the morning but you asked DF.
Dancing Fire- answer your own question now. We want to know what would your greatest regret be? Though I think I can guess...and it has something to do with not seeing your darling daughters get married and have children of their own. Am I right?
This is my biggest desire. The main thing that I hope for-that my dh and I can grow old together in relative health and happiness. I love him with all my heart and never thought I would be so crazy in love with someone but there you have it.
But with great love come greater risks and that is the risk of losing your great love. So what I would regret most would be not getting to spend enough time with my dh. Life happens so fast.
Sorry to be so morbid so early in the morning but you asked DF.
Dancing Fire- answer your own question now. We want to know what would your greatest regret be? Though I think I can guess...and it has something to do with not seeing your darling daughters get married and have children of their own. Am I right?
SB621
Ideal_Rock
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2 answers. The first is not orginal but rings true for me- I will miss watching my children grow up. Everyday they surprise me more. I want to be there to kiss the booboos, sing happy birthday, watch them fall in love, graduate you name it. I want to be there to support them. Be their rock when they need strength, their shoulder to cry on etc
A bit more orginal- I will regret never going on safari in Africa. I have always wanted to do it. DH and I are just waiting for the kids to get older so we can take them with us. We are thinking about doing it when they are both in HS as our last BIG family vacation before they venture of in to the world. Waiting 12-14 years seems like forever but I know it will be worth the wait.
A bit more orginal- I will regret never going on safari in Africa. I have always wanted to do it. DH and I are just waiting for the kids to get older so we can take them with us. We are thinking about doing it when they are both in HS as our last BIG family vacation before they venture of in to the world. Waiting 12-14 years seems like forever but I know it will be worth the wait.
justginger
Ideal_Rock
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I think I would likely regret not having a child. I'm still not ready, but I reckon it would be a sad spot in my heart, regardless.
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I'd miss taking the time to so fun things with my family. We are so busy with school, activities, Hebrew school, etc. If I were to die tomorrow, I'd be sad to have not created more memories with my kids. The rest of this stuff wouldn't matter.
JewelFreak
Ideal_Rock
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C'mon DF! Your turn!
gregchang35
Ideal_Rock
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see my daughters grow up and get married and have grand kids (if they want to) all that kind of stuff. they only 3 yo and 7.5mo at the mo.
o'wise to be materialistic- getting that Octavia!!!!
o'wise to be materialistic- getting that Octavia!!!!
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If I knew I was going to die (Great point Monarch!) tomorrow, I'd regret:
Not spending more time with DH just having fun.
Not spending more time with my grandparents.
Not taking time out of my busy day (thanks school!) for some extra hugging and loving for my four-legged family -- not that they aren't getting non-stop attention and loving all day but you can always wish for more!
Not finishing my pilots license so DH and I could go on trips together
especially a trip across the country but also an afternoon to get lunch
Not finishing college.
Not seeing any of the world -- I've only been out of Washington state a couple of times and have never been out of the country (not even when I lived just a couple of hours from the Canadian border)
All the rest is just details!
These are the things that would be on my mind. Knowing that, I'm doing what I can to make each of these happen. Life is too short for regrets!
Not spending more time with DH just having fun.
Not spending more time with my grandparents.
Not taking time out of my busy day (thanks school!) for some extra hugging and loving for my four-legged family -- not that they aren't getting non-stop attention and loving all day but you can always wish for more!
Not finishing my pilots license so DH and I could go on trips together
especially a trip across the country but also an afternoon to get lunch
Not finishing college.
Not seeing any of the world -- I've only been out of Washington state a couple of times and have never been out of the country (not even when I lived just a couple of hours from the Canadian border)
All the rest is just details!
These are the things that would be on my mind. Knowing that, I'm doing what I can to make each of these happen. Life is too short for regrets!
alexah
Brilliant_Rock
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It's interesting, this kind of thinking is what caused hubs & I to leave NYC a few months ago and move near my family. Work & stress dominated our lives - we needed a change. My parents are getting up there in age and our nephews were growing up - we wanted to be near them so there wouldn't be any regrets.
Finding work here is really tough though and pay is not good. Trade-offs.
Finding work here is really tough though and pay is not good. Trade-offs.
JewelFreak
Ideal_Rock
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Not having grown up yet.
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My career choice. I love being a teacher but it's harder than I ever imagined. And it's got nothing to do with the kids. It's a rough time to be a teacher.
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yennyfire|1395230276|3637166 said:
This is what comes to mind to me, too. Just too busy with the daily things that we don't plan a lot of fun things. I also feel like we are close to getting to the point where my poor hardworking husband can retire early (in 3-4 years) and we can enjoy traveling more and enjoying a more relaxed pace. That would be so tragic to me if we finally had the time and money to do some things but never got to actually do it!
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missy|1395220456|3637140 said:
.. WOW !! missy, you are 101% correct!
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me too!..Trekkie|1395245924|3637345 said:
isaku5
Ideal_Rock
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I've been blessed to see our children grow up and have one child each. I'd love to be able to see my granddaughters graduate from university 
Getting married? Maybe, but only if they want to. For me, marriage comes after education.
The kids of our granddaughters? We'll probably be too senile then to appreciate them.
Getting married? Maybe, but only if they want to. For me, marriage comes after education.
The kids of our granddaughters? We'll probably be too senile then to appreciate them.
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- Jul 15, 2005
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1. Not getting a 20 carat D color internally flawless marquise cut diamond.
2. Not doing the deed with Mick Jagger.
2. Not doing the deed with Mick Jagger.
siamese3
Brilliant_Rock
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- Jul 27, 2007
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- 1,028
I would have to echo Missy's post. I would miss not having more time with my DH. We didn't get married until we were both 40 and we celebrated our 10 year last year.He has changed my life is so many amazingly positive ways. I never knew what it was to be truly loved and accepted by another until I met him. To this day, I don't really like being away from him for even a day. He really grounds me and it makes me happy just to be with him. He has chronic pain issues and other chronic health problems and as we age, I constantly think about & fear one of us without the other.
aljdewey
Ideal_Rock
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- Nov 25, 2002
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I'm right there with Missy and Siamese - I didn't meet DH until shortly before I turned 37, and I'd long retired any thoughts of marriage.
He totally took me by surprise, and he is *that* person who actually admires and appreciates the very things about me that others criticize or find intimidating.
I had imagined what it would feel like to be married to the right person and loved, but the reality of being loved like that way eclipses what I'd imagined. It's so much more encompassing and powerful than I'd even imagined.
Having waited so long to find that, though, has made me acutely aware (almost like a nagging dread) that it could be gone in an instant if something happens to one of us, and the thought of that sometimes makes it hard to breathe. I'm pushing 49, and hub just turned 45, and I'm so conscious of how quickly time is FLYING by. In what feels like the blink of an eye, we're already approaching our 10th wedding anniversary. 20 or 30 more years with him just doesn't feel like enough, and those are far from guaranteed either.
It's even more than just an abstract concept to me; my friend's 45-year old husband died when she was just 37. They'd just celebrated their 10th anniversary a month before learning his cancer had metastasized, and he died within months. Witnessing her profound sadness is like having a foreboding, front row preview seat of the thing I most fear.
It creeps up on me in little moments -- things like concentrating on how it feels when he's hugging me so I can recall the feeling if he's not here to hug me at some point. It's taken conscious effort to push these thoughts to the background so I don't let them become more important than the present moment. It's a regular self-calibration to remind myself that right now, everything is fine and the more important thing is to stay in the now.
He totally took me by surprise, and he is *that* person who actually admires and appreciates the very things about me that others criticize or find intimidating.
I had imagined what it would feel like to be married to the right person and loved, but the reality of being loved like that way eclipses what I'd imagined. It's so much more encompassing and powerful than I'd even imagined.
Having waited so long to find that, though, has made me acutely aware (almost like a nagging dread) that it could be gone in an instant if something happens to one of us, and the thought of that sometimes makes it hard to breathe. I'm pushing 49, and hub just turned 45, and I'm so conscious of how quickly time is FLYING by. In what feels like the blink of an eye, we're already approaching our 10th wedding anniversary. 20 or 30 more years with him just doesn't feel like enough, and those are far from guaranteed either.
It's even more than just an abstract concept to me; my friend's 45-year old husband died when she was just 37. They'd just celebrated their 10th anniversary a month before learning his cancer had metastasized, and he died within months. Witnessing her profound sadness is like having a foreboding, front row preview seat of the thing I most fear.
It creeps up on me in little moments -- things like concentrating on how it feels when he's hugging me so I can recall the feeling if he's not here to hug me at some point. It's taken conscious effort to push these thoughts to the background so I don't let them become more important than the present moment. It's a regular self-calibration to remind myself that right now, everything is fine and the more important thing is to stay in the now.
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