- Joined
- Jun 25, 2007
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- 3,160
MIL has three children - DH and two daughters. She has no contact with the eldest daughter (H). Something big went down and the ILs kicked her out when she was 18. No one really knows what happened but MIL pretends H doesn't exist - no photos, refers to only one daughter etc.
Recently, MIL has been recounting childhood memories a lot. I think it's because she has grand kids and likes to compare notes. Anyway, she does this weird thing where she transfers positive memories of H onto the other two kids. I don't know the difference because I wasn't there but DH and his other sister, J, will tell me after the fact that it was H, not one of them, that said or did what MIL was recounting. Recently my two year old started saying his entire name - first middle and last. MIL began telling a story about how J used to pronounce her name in a funny way. Strange thing is the names she's saying totally rhyme with H's name and sound NOTHING like J's name.
DH and J never say anything to MIL because it doesn't hurt anyone but this is very intriguing to me. Is there a term for this? When someone transfers positive memories from one person to another? It doesn't seem as simple as things just being foggy after many years but maybe it is?
MIL's kids/grand kids are everything to her so it's sad to me that something so awful happened that she forced herself to forget one of her children.
ETA-I'm laughing at myself for asking this since I can barely remember my kids' names some days. Fast forward 30 years and I'll probably mix everything up!
Recently, MIL has been recounting childhood memories a lot. I think it's because she has grand kids and likes to compare notes. Anyway, she does this weird thing where she transfers positive memories of H onto the other two kids. I don't know the difference because I wasn't there but DH and his other sister, J, will tell me after the fact that it was H, not one of them, that said or did what MIL was recounting. Recently my two year old started saying his entire name - first middle and last. MIL began telling a story about how J used to pronounce her name in a funny way. Strange thing is the names she's saying totally rhyme with H's name and sound NOTHING like J's name.
DH and J never say anything to MIL because it doesn't hurt anyone but this is very intriguing to me. Is there a term for this? When someone transfers positive memories from one person to another? It doesn't seem as simple as things just being foggy after many years but maybe it is?
MIL's kids/grand kids are everything to her so it's sad to me that something so awful happened that she forced herself to forget one of her children.
ETA-I'm laughing at myself for asking this since I can barely remember my kids' names some days. Fast forward 30 years and I'll probably mix everything up!