PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[Buttons]

PPM I have no advice beyond what has already been posted but I didn't want to read and not post. My heart goes out to you. You are not overreacting at all. I agree with everyone who said you need to find a way to get some respite from the sleep deprivation so you can recover and then address the issue. Thinking of you, take care of yourselves.

 

[OneFifty]

monkeyprincess - I just wanted to pop in and give you ((hugs)) regarding your high needs baby!

My nephew was a high needs baby and my sister tried just about everything to get him to stop crying and get some sleep. He would only fall asleep if he was being held. His favorite sound was the hairdryer, so they would have to have it on constantly. Also, my sister is a NICU nurse, so she had a lot of experience with newborns and babies at work and she still couldn't find a solution that worked for my nephew. But it does get better and now he is way past that stage. I know you have heard that from many mamas already.

 

[canuk-gal]

PPM, okay firstly breathe mama. Hugs and breathe. You're okay, E's OK. I'm not saying this to trivialize what's going on, but you need to center yourself for your own health, to care for E and to be able to talk to your husband about this. Then get some help. Your parents/in-laws, hire a night nurse, a neighbor, a friend, SOMEONE. Even if it's for a week or just 3-4 days. You guys need some help. You said you don't want to talk to family/friends about this, so hiring someone might be best. If you can't afford it, just tell friends/family that you're hitting a wall, and you and your husband just really need another set of hands. Finally, have your husband talk to his doctor. Tell your DH this is NOT okay and it's needs to get addressed immediately. Breathe mama. E's ok, E's ok. And your DH will talk to someone to get help. LV mentioned a good point about medications. But the fact that you guys aren't getting enough sleep is definitely making things worse. You might be able to talk to your pedi about getting a night nurse as a prescription for E's health.

This.
PPL you have a lot on your plate--can someone help take something off of it?
I also second medical evaluation for DH--for a check up, and for sleep apnea.

kind regards, Sharon

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Thanks for your support, ladies. It has been a rough day.

We don't have any family close, so I proposed the night nanny to DH and he was willing to try it out.

We currently co-sleep, so DH is moving to the guest room, and this weekend we're going to transition Eloise out of our bed and into her own cradle. DH is also taking tomorrow off and going to see his doctor, as well as catch up on missed sleep. He was even more freaked out and upset by this than I was/am.... I feel so sad for him... but it's something that's out of his control. We've just got to manage it as best we can and try to find a solution. We're moving forward.

ETA: He is on one medication- Zoloft, but has been for a long while. I suspect he has always been a sleepwalker (he has a history of saying/doing odd things in the middle of the night) and it has been exacerbated by lack of sleep.

 

[lliang_chi]

MP, Hugs mama. I'm sorry Ev needs some extra love at times. He is an adorable little prince. I'm hoping the new swing does the trick. Do you have any friends/family you can borrow stuff from? It'd be much easier than buying a ton of stuff. Also check out Craigslist for stuff like swings/jumperoos/strollers. For things like that I was OK with using CL. But car seats, mattresses etc, I bought new.

PPM, I'm glad your DH is addressing this. As you said, this is out of his control. And like you said in your earlier post, you're not doubting him as a father at all. Hugs and I really hope his doctor can help him or refer him to someone that can. Check out doulas etc for referrals for night nurses. I can't remember if you had a doula (for some reason I think you did?).

Ethan didn't STTN the past 2 nights, he got up @ 4AM. But he's FINALLY sleeping through the 2AM wake up. I tried nursing him but my supply must be dramatically low, because he was PISSED he wasn't getting a bottle. Before I never had to sweat a 4AM bottle since I used to make enough for him to nurse happily. Not anymore apparently. I'm trying to accept the end of breastfeeding. I'm going to miss our sweet nursing time together. So, I'm torn... I guess it's not the worse thing ever, but it's just so hard to give it up. I know it's more a me thing too. I just need a pep talk to stop being such a wimp and buck up.

 

[pavelover]

PPM glad your husband is going to get checked out. I don't know every symptom of sleep deprivation and of course I'm not a doctor but I wouldn't be surprised if its from sleep deprivation. Awesome news you guys are getting some night time help. I think it will help everyone. Keep us updated.

Lliang Chi hugs to you! I'm such a feelings/warm and fuzzy person I say you don't need to get tough- it's normal to feel a little sad when moving on from breastfeeding. But I hope you enjoy the next stages of your babe and its great you enjoyed breastfeeding while you did it. I breastfed until my son was over 2( just at bedtime for a long time) so I don't remember feeling particularly sad when I stopped, lol, but obviously I liked it since I did it for so long. Don't know if you indulge but now you can feel good about having a nice glass of wine .

 

[pavelover]

PPM glad your husband is going to get checked out. I don't know every symptom of sleep deprivation and of course I'm not a doctor but I wouldn't be surprised if its from sleep deprivation. Awesome news you guys are getting some night time help. I think it will help everyone. Keep us updated.

Lliang Chi hugs to you! I'm such a feelings/warm and fuzzy person I say you don't need to get tough- it's normal to feel a little sad when moving on from breastfeeding. But I hope you enjoy the next stages of your babe and its great you enjoyed breastfeeding while you did it. I breastfed until my son was over 2( just at bedtime for a long time) so I don't remember feeling particularly sad when I stopped, lol, but obviously I liked it since I did it for so long. Don't know if you indulge but now you can feel good about having a nice glass of wine .

 

[Loves Vintage]

PPM - Sounds like a good plan. I promise, this will all be long-forgotten soon enough. I think it's great that your DH can sleep in the other room for a while. The fact that E has been co-sleeping may also have been contributing to him not being able to sleep well even when he is asleep. I am all for co-sleeping. S still co-sleeps at 22 months (though we are slowly transitioning her to her own bed), but it has had a negative effect on our sleep quality. She moves around a lot, so I think long-term, you are probably better off overall having her sleep in her own space. We used an arm's reach co-sleeper in the beginning. You might prefer that if you can have her on your side of the bed, then you don't have to get out of bed every time you get up to check on her. Just a thought.

Also, is there anyone you can call to come in for a day on the weekend so that YOU can also catch up on your sleep. I was thinking if you did daycare, you could probably get one of the younger teachers to come over, but just read your other thread and see you have a solo provider. Maybe there's someone else in the area that you can hire just so YOU can catch up on your sleep too. Just thinking it might be easier to get someone super-quickly to sit during the day who you might already know. Not sure how long it takes to find a night nurse.

Every time I read something like this, I really wish I lived closer to you PS'ers because I would totally help. Then it makes me wonder -- there must be moms in my own community who could use some help too, but everyone here is so disconnected, that I would never even know about them. And, then of course, people do not like accepting help!

Oh, and I did google the sleepwalking a little bit and will retract my comment that it sounds like something more than just lack of sleep. It sounds like it COULD be simply due to lack of sleep, but glad your DH will visit the doctor.

Wishing you lots of good thoughts. Hope you have an easy weekend. It's almost here!

 

[amc80]

What's an appropriate bed time for a 4 month old? Right now he goes to sleep between 9-9:30. Last night he was really tired, since he had been awake since 4pm-ish. He started getting really fussy around 7, so I decided to start his night time routine at that point, about an hour early. Everything was fine, he was asleep by 8:30 or so. But then he woke up at 9:30, screaming his head off. I gave him a few ounces of formula and he wen to sleep until 5:45AM (skies part, angels sing). So even though he had is normal night time bottle before passing out at 8:30, he still wanted more an hour later. It's like his brain knows he gets food at that time, regardless of whether or not he had just eaten.

Are we just stuck with this bedtime for now? Will it naturally get earlier? Seems pretty late at this stage.

 

[mayerling]

Amc, N has been going to bed around 8-8:30 for a couple of months now. I think they say that at this point, the latest bedtime should be 8 o'clock, but it's just not feasible for us. Having said that, N still does not STTN so you probably shouldn't listen to anything I say.

MP, after reading what life is like for you I feel bad for ever complaining about mine - and I have complained a lot as you can see if you look back at my posts. N does not STTN, has needed to be rocked to sleep and nap since birth, all his MOTN awakenings last at least an hour, and he never naps during the day - except in my arms - so I can't get anything done (and the list goes on). However, he does sleep in his crib at night, and does at least a 3-hour first stretch, and he's a pretty happy baby most of the time - he gets cranky when he gets tired. Back when he was a newborn he would go through a witching hour (or hours) in the evenings but it definitely went away by the time he was 10 weeks (possibly earlier but that's when we moved back to the UK and he definitely hasn't done it since we moved back) so hang in there momma. Big hugs to you.

AFU, tomorrow is the last day I breastfeed. I hope I don't get too emotional. Also, we're starting solids tomorrow!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

LC, I totally understand missing the bond from bfing--I was sad when I stopped and I hadn't been doing it for nearly as long as you. The 4am wakeup isn't so bad--K still has her 5am wakeup (then goes back to sleep for an hour or two). I'm wondering if I'm feeding her enough in the evenings these days. Last night she woke up at 1am starving.

amc, I can't remember if K's bedtime was 8pm or 7pm at 4 months. It definitely depends on your schedule and how long she sleeps at night. K would "sleep" (even if this included a feeding) for 12 hour blocks and I have to get her fed, dressed and out the door by 7:30, so a 7pm - 7am schedule works best. I think that happened right around the time she started daycare @ 4 months.

 

[Buttons]

PPM that sounds like a good plan, hang in there. Thinking of you...

As for me I don't want to jinx things but the last two days have been really good! T is in such good form and I think he is starting to learn how to self soothe - he is falling asleep in my arms now or next to me, without being on the breast. This is huge progress!

Thanks for everyone's advice re the sleeping and the spit up. I think we are getting broadband by Monday and I will be able to reply properly then

 

[Kunzite]

LV - Ummmm, I'll be waiting for you to show up and take these babies off my hands for awhile then

AMC - That sounds pretty late for getting up at four. At four months he shouldn't be awake much longer than two hours at a time. The twins go to bed in the six o'clock hour depending on when they get up from their last nap, although they aren't exactly STTN! You're supposed to aim or 11-12 hours of night sleep. Did you ever get that link to work? It's a lot of sleep info. He probably woke up because it was something new, not because it was too early. I think they say changes take three days to work.

AFU - The babies had their six (!!!) month appointment this week. E is 15 pounds 12 ounces and M is 16 pounds 1 ounce. So they're still quite close in weight even though M looks and feels much bigger than E! It must be an optical illusion of the big head DH took these pictures of the boys hanging out in the Bumbleride after getting weighed

Oh, and M was inconsolable yesterday after his shots! I think he's going to be my sensitive boy. Poor, poor thing!!

 

[Kunzite]

Oh geez, I forgot to say hugs to you PPM! I'm glad to hear your DH is seeing his doctor!

And MP, I forgot about the hair dryer! Yes! That worked wonders on O when he was inconsolable. I carried that thing room to room for awhile! Good suggestion OneFifty.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Kunzite, If we were close by, I'd totally be there! S would have a ball too! Could you imagine??? Wow, 6 months already! Are E and M the same height (or I guess they call it length, haha)?

 

[amc80]

AMC - That sounds pretty late for getting up at four. At four months he shouldn't be awake much longer than two hours at a time. The twins go to bed in the six o'clock hour depending on when they get up from their last nap, although they aren't exactly STTN! You're supposed to aim or 11-12 hours of night sleep. Did you ever get that link to work? It's a lot of sleep info. He probably woke up because it was something new, not because it was too early. I think they say changes take three days to work.

That's what I was thinking. I think I'll try to get him to sleep an hour earlier again tonight and see what happens. Usually he takes a short nap in the evening. But maybe if I can get him to sleep earlier he can do without that nap. I couldn't get that link to work, I'll try on my phone.

 

[FrekeChild]

Hugs PPM. I know almost exactly how you feel. I sleep through almost everything, but it's my husband that has the weird sleep issues. Not as strange as your husband's, but strange enough that I've not slept many a night terrified that I can't trust him with her, and it's not even close to being his fault...

 

[Kunzite]

Kunzite, If we were close by, I'd totally be there! S would have a ball too! Could you imagine??? Wow, 6 months already! Are E and M the same height (or I guess they call it length, haha)?

That would be so fun! They're close in length too, 24.75 and 25 inches. My little peanuts. 3% and 6% Miles' head, on the other hand... 68%!!

 

[amc80]

AMC - That sounds pretty late for getting up at four. At four months he shouldn't be awake much longer than two hours at a time. The twins go to bed in the six o'clock hour depending on when they get up from their last nap, although they aren't exactly STTN! You're supposed to aim or 11-12 hours of night sleep. Did you ever get that link to work? It's a lot of sleep info. He probably woke up because it was something new, not because it was too early. I think they say changes take three days to work.

That's what I was thinking. I think I'll try to get him to sleep an hour earlier again tonight and see what happens. Usually he takes a short nap in the evening. But maybe if I can get him to sleep earlier he can do without that nap. I couldn't get that link to work, I'll try on my phone.

Ummm, I can't find that link. Can someone help me out?

 

[Kunzite]

Copy and paste if clicking doesn't work.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPXE1bsO&pli=1#

 

[amc80]

Copy and paste if clicking doesn't work.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/11GHo4keUb2TVJUlSL1kD6HQcEgaNFBmzoQoOzcpcyas/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPXE1bsO&pli=1#

Got it! Lots of great information in there. I guess my big fear is messing with what we've got going on now. Last night he slept from 9:30pm to 5:45am without waking, over 8 hours. At that point, he was up for an hour or so before falling asleep again. I'm wondering if part of the reason he is able to sleep for such a long stretch is that he's a big kid? At almost 4 months, he's the size of an average 6 month old. He can eat about 6oz at a time, and is eating around 35oz a day (which I know is technically "more" than he should eat). I'd love to get him to bed earlier, but not if it means he'll be waking up earlier.

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, you'd likely need to dream feed him if you want him to go to sleep and stay asleep through the night. Try putting him down 2 hrs after his last PM nap, but really push the milk in that 2 hrs. Then maybe 30 mins before he used to have that last bottle of the night, sneak in there and dream feed. Leave all the lights off, hell, even keep him swaddled (if he's swaddled)/sleep-sacked. I'm thinking that *should* keep him asleep through his normal wake up 5:30/5:45am.

Kunzite, OMG look how big they got! Which is M and which is E? I ask because the pic on the bottom reminds me a lot of O when he was a wee-one. And OMG your boys are so cute! I would totally stea--I mean watch them for you too!

Buttons, Hooray for Wee Button for having some good two days. Hoping it's a new trend Hope the spit up is getting better. And I can't wait for you to get your broadband. We're overdue for T pics!

NEL, what time do you drop K for daycare? I've started to do both drop off AND pick up. I drop Ethan just before like 7:45AM. I pick him up around 5:45PM. I like that he's getting to day care almost a full hour later than he was before. Plus then J comes home early (has no excuse NOT to come home early).

Mayerling, how exciting N is starting solids! It's so much fun! I loved introducing new foods to him. I have a hilarious Green Beans video of E on FB. Wow, didn't know you were ending BFing too. Maybe we can give it up together.

Pave, I do enjoy a glass or two of wine every now and then and THANK GOODNESS some days! LOL! I used to have a very nice supply so I could always pump and dump and give Ethan frozen milk or formula when we started supplementing. Now it's strictly a me thing since I can go pretty much 24 hrs without needing to pump or anything. Maybe I'll wait until his next nursing strike and stop then...?

So, as I said before I started doing drop off and pick up for Ethan's daycare. I'm loving that J's coming home early. Although last week he admitted that he could do better with making a hard cut off to leave @ X o'clock. No shit, Sherlock what do you think I do? I have to leave @ 5PM to pick up Ethan. Of course he'd likely not do that, which totally steams me. It's just the inequity of it. Like it's expected that need to make this hard stop but it's OK for men not to. I used to feel bad that J would miss out on Ethan time, but TBH, if he's not going to make the commitment to leave punctually then he's got no one to blame but himself.

Anyway in other crazy: Does anyone have those times that for the flashiest of seconds you're like, "Oh crap, could I be pregnant?" I've got Mirena, so the likelihood of that happening is quite low (right)? I haven't had a period since getting knock'ed up, so it's not like I have that every month. Recently when I stopped pumping/feeding so much I noticeably gained a lot of weight. I know it's from not burning calories from pumping/BFing, but man wouldn't it be nice if there was another reason besides because I'm eating too much... LOL! TIme to start hitting the gym again.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

LC, I drop off K at 8am and D picks her up at 5:30pm. I do my best to get home by 6 so that we have an hour of family time before she goes to bed. We both take a commuter rail, so we absolutely have to leave work at x time. D is really busy right now and I've committed to doing drop off and pickup 1x per week and it is HARD. If I drop her off at 8, I don't get in until 9, then I have to leave at 4:30 to pick her up by 5:30. That doesn't give me enough time to bill 8 hours, so then I have to work when I get home. Plus I'm only 4 days/week, so every day I'm at work is really packed. When I do pickup or when I'm home with K, D rarely takes an earlier train, which means he doesn't get to see her and I do the bedtime routine on my own. I don't think it's ever going to be easy. I'm glad that dropoff and pickup is working well for you and hopefully J continues to get home early-ish so he can see E in the evenings!

I definitely have moments of thinking I could be pregnant. Just yesteday D questioned if I was pregnant because my boobs looked larger. D and I are planning to try again in the spring, so in theory if we got pregnant now it's not a big deal at all. But I'm such a planner that I would rather not have an unexpected surprise. And I would like to get rid of this last 5 lbs. first

 

[amc80]

AMC, you'd likely need to dream feed him if you want him to go to sleep and stay asleep through the night. Try putting him down 2 hrs after his last PM nap, but really push the milk in that 2 hrs. Then maybe 30 mins before he used to have that last bottle of the night, sneak in there and dream feed. Leave all the lights off, hell, even keep him swaddled (if he's swaddled)/sleep-sacked. I'm thinking that *should* keep him asleep through his normal wake up 5:30/5:45am.

Last night I started the whole bedtime process earlier, so he was asleep by 8. Around 10, I tired a dream feed. Lights stayed off, and I only moved him about 3 feet from the crib to the rocker. He woke up when I put him back in the crib and it took 20 minutes or so to get him to stop crying and go to sleep. He then woke up at 3:45. I fed him again, and he was pretty wide awake. So, I did what any good mom would do- put him in bed with me, turned on the baby channel, and went to sleep. After 20 minutes or so, I could tell he was getting tired, so I turned the TV off and he slept until 7:15. Not quite sure what to think. It seems that 8 was too early for him.

Does anyone have those times that for the flashiest of seconds you're like, "Oh crap, could I be pregnant?"

Yes, and it scares the life out of me. Seriously. Although I've moved from "I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN" to "yeah, I'll be ready in a year." So that's major progress.

 

[missrachelk]

Hi mamas - when did / will you start exercise and diet to try to move the excess baby weight after LO?
Hannah is 9 weeks so physically I think I'm about ready to start (however slowly) but I'm just curious is most moms tend to wait till 12 weeks or have already started sooner?

at times in my life I've been quite the gym rat and love working out. But (big but lol) that all went out the window a few months before I got pg and the whole pregnancy. I'm looking at 40# of baby weight plus an extra 10 I'd put on during the ttc process. Ideally I'd like to have it all gone or at least be in a decent size ( current jeans are 4 sizes bigger than my 'happy size' and 3 above my 'ok' size) and be at a good fitness level even if the scale doesn't cooperate - by her first birthday next October. I think that's perfectly reasonable for a goal. I also want to run a race of some kind, even just a 5k ( ive never run a race before ever)

Then well start talking ttc so I can put t back on again lol! Next pregnancy though I definitely plan to watch my diet much better and will make myself work out.

Any tips on diet that won't hurt my already fragile milk supply? My appetite is already way down from my initial 'I could eat a horse' from the first few weeks pp.

 

[stephbolt]

Hi mamas - when did / will you start exercise and diet to try to move the excess baby weight after LO?
Hannah is 9 weeks so physically I think I'm about ready to start (however slowly) but I'm just curious is most moms tend to wait till 12 weeks or have already started sooner?

at times in my life I've been quite the gym rat and love working out. But (big but lol) that all went out the window a few months before I got pg and the whole pregnancy. I'm looking at 40# of baby weight plus an extra 10 I'd put on during the ttc process. Ideally I'd like to have it all gone or at least be in a decent size ( current jeans are 4 sizes bigger than my 'happy size' and 3 above my 'ok' size) and be at a good fitness level even if the scale doesn't cooperate - by her first birthday next October. I think that's perfectly reasonable for a goal. I also want to run a race of some kind, even just a 5k ( ive never run a race before ever)

Then well start talking ttc so I can put t back on again lol! Next pregnancy though I definitely plan to watch my diet much better and will make myself work out.

Any tips on diet that won't hurt my already fragile milk supply? My appetite is already way down from my initial 'I could eat a horse' from the first few weeks pp.

I started working out at 5 weeks pp (and then stopped at 12 weeks when I went back to work). I've only recently started squeezing in workouts again because I realized how much it helps my mental state. It doesn't happen as much as I'd like but it's something at least. For diet, I started weight watchers at about 4 months pp. I found it's a great diet while BF, it just gives you extra points to support your milk production and isn't restrictive in any way. I did it for a month and then slacked off when we were dealing with hurricane aftermath and didn't have power for a few days. I really need to get back on board with it though, I've been overindulging on holiday treats lately and I think I'm picking up a few lbs. I think you have a great plan to get back to pre-preg shape by H's first birthday!

 

[amc80]

Hi mamas - when did / will you start exercise and diet to try to move the excess baby weight after LO?
Hannah is 9 weeks so physically I think I'm about ready to start (however slowly) but I'm just curious is most moms tend to wait till 12 weeks or have already started sooner?

at times in my life I've been quite the gym rat and love working out. But (big but lol) that all went out the window a few months before I got pg and the whole pregnancy. I'm looking at 40# of baby weight plus an extra 10 I'd put on during the ttc process. Ideally I'd like to have it all gone or at least be in a decent size ( current jeans are 4 sizes bigger than my 'happy size' and 3 above my 'ok' size) and be at a good fitness level even if the scale doesn't cooperate - by her first birthday next October. I think that's perfectly reasonable for a goal. I also want to run a race of some kind, even just a 5k ( ive never run a race before ever)

Then well start talking ttc so I can put t back on again lol! Next pregnancy though I definitely plan to watch my diet much better and will make myself work out.

Any tips on diet that won't hurt my already fragile milk supply? My appetite is already way down from my initial 'I could eat a horse' from the first few weeks pp.

I intended to start working out around one month pp. Unfortunately, the birth process did such a number on my pelvic floor that I was nowhere near ready. It was probably 12 weeks pp when I could start to workout. Even at this point (B is 4 months today!) I still can't do a lot. My pelvic floor is still too week, although PT is helping. Running and any other bouncy activities are still out of the question. B is now completely weaned, as of a couple days ago. My plan is to start watching what I eat now and hitting it hard after the holidays. I was too paranoid to really diet while BFIng.

 

[bobbin]

MissRachel: check out this site: www.losebabyweight.com.au . It has a lot of information about BF safe weight loss and exercise etc. I started walking (taking it easy) straight away, added pilates at 10 weeks, and gym sessions at about 16 weeks (light weights, bodyweight exercises and walking on the treadmill), and at 6 months I was able to start running after getting PT approval as like AMC I had pelvic floor issues.

I followed the lose baby weight plans and lost 5kg in about 6 weeks, but then I fell off the wagon! In the last 2 months I have lost 2kg without doing anything though. I think it is because I am having to chase after C so much now, and she weighs 8.8kg so it is like I am doing weight training everyday!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Rachel, I started waking on our treadmill after my 6 week appointment. Nothing vigorous yet because I too have a bit of a pelvic floor weakness it seems. My biggest problem is that I have to fit it in with a baby who cannot be relied upon to sleep. I have no idea when I will find time to workout once I go back to work though. Sounds like you have a very reasonable plan to get back to your desired weight. I've been fortunate that my baby weight came off really quickly. But even so my tummy is just not the same. Wondering if I'll ever lose the muffin top completely. Most of my work clothes are more fitted than the casual clothes I've been wearing since E was born.

LCD, have not had the could I be pregnant thought yet because that would require that DH and I to actually be in the same bed at the same time with the baby sleeping At the rate we are going that might happen sometime by the time E is there....

NEL, and others too, how did you handle the transition back to work. I still have 4 weeks to go, but I am already getting weepy at the thought of leaving my baby all day every day. Especially because I really do not like my job very much. I am so worried I am going to be depressed and stressed out in addition to the sleep deprivation thing.and in order to bill enough hours, I will have very little time with my son. I am going to resume my job search a few months after I return to work to hopefully find something that I enjoy more.

PPM, hope you and your husband are doing okay.definitely a good idea for him tho not be in the same bed as the baby. I'm sure it is scary for him not to be that tired and not aware of his actions. How does this night nurse thing work? Hope things are starting to feel better for you.

Pancake, hope all is well with you. I was just thinking about you and how i wish I had your knowledge and confidence about parenting. I am just second guessing everything right now and wondering if I am doing something wrong that makes E so challenging or if he us somehow reacting to my anxiety.

Kunzite, your guys are too darn cute and they have really developed their own looks. Thanks again for sharing your experiences with more challenging babies. Your little O sounds so sweet. Can't wait until these challenging days are only a memory. But at the same time I don't want to wish away his baby stage.

Mayerling, you have also had your fair share of challenges. We are all dealing with something. Hoping we both get good nights of sleep someday soon!

AFU my doctor prescribed E some Zantac for the reflux issues. He doesn't seem to be throwing up clear liquid anymore but he is still spitting up a bit. It definitely hasn't improved his demeanor much so that is probably not the cause of his fussing. I am tempted to switch his formula, but he is already getting Gentlease which is supposed to ease gas and fussing. I think I just want there to be a treatable condition instead of just his temperament. But when he is in a good mood, his whole face smiles and he just makes me laugh, and then he laughs back. Those moments are so worth all the fussing!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

MP, sorry to hear about the reflux. We also tried Zantac--I can't remember how long we were supposed to try it (5 days?), but my pediatrician said if it didn't help after a couple of days, to just switch to Enfamil AR (I think other brands also have an acid-reflux formula). It's more than just an anti-gas formula, it has added rice cereal, so it's heavy and really stays down. For us, that's what made the difference. As soon as she started on the AR she showed improvement.

And the transition back to work. It's tough. For me, the mental preparation for going back to work was the hardest part. Once I actually went back, it wasn't as bad as I expected. I did a few things to prepare:
1. Had our babysitter watch her for a few hours here and there in the weeks leading up to d-day. I did a little shopping and cried when I saw other moms out with their babes. But it was good to familiarize K with the babysitter and her house
2. Started doing the morning routine prior to d-day so that it was familiar
3. Brought lots of framed photos for my desk the day I went back.
4. I only went back 3 days/week (for 2 months) and transitioned to 4 (indefinitely). I don't know if that is an option, but I pushed it pretty hard and I'm glad I did.

My workload was pretty intense when I got back and I also have to consider my billable time, so I couldn't cut out of work early. But being busy was good. Now it's been 6 months or so and I'm genuinely glad I went back. Work/life balance is a constant juggle, but I like what I do. I have no doubt that you will find some balance and once you find a job that you actually do like, I think things will fit into place for you.