Problem with my proposal -- need female advice!

[Mark21]

So let me throw out some details first: Dating my girlfriend for a year, and we have known from the first month we would be getting married. She has two children, ages 11 and 5, and we just bought a home and have spent the last two months remodeling it. Wanting to involve the children some way in the proposal, I have thought up the following: on Christmas morning (the first in our home), I would get up early, dress up in a tuxedo, and then have the children wake their mother and have her come out to the living room for her present, where I would be on my knee with the ring. My question for the ladies is would you be upset that you are in "morning bedhead/pajamas" form??? Or would you not care? I of course think she is beautiful at all times, but I don''t want to make her self-conscious... Thoughts? Changes you would make? Scratch the whole idea? Looking forward to any comments. Thank you!

 

[diamondjim84]

Well, I am not a female, but I can say that is surely clever! I think that is actually cute. I always thought it doesn''t matter how you propose, just that you both love each other.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Me personally? I''d love it--I wouldn''t care at all if I were in my PJs and my hair was a mess. In fact, I think a post-engagement family photo with you in a tux and her in her PJs (as well as the kids) on Christmas morning would be great!

But I''m sure there are some women who would dislike it just because they don''t feel they are looking their best (craziness, I know!), so which type of woman do you think she is?

 

[door knob solitaire]

Awhhh...that is such a sweet and thoughtful plan! Especially involving the children. Great idea.

On the morning icky look...Christmas morning is usually the only allowed bed head sleepy head morning there is. So if you were going to do it then...I say if that is her normal MO on Christmas morning...than she shouldn't be upset. DO you know for sure that they do their stuff Christmas morning?

You mentioned you have dated a year...not sure if that included last Christmas. You could tell her that cousin Bud has volunteered to visit every ones homes with children in a rented Santa suit and can make it to your house Christmas morning. You want to start a family tradition of a family portrait and take one each year. You were wondering what time she thought she would be ready for photos...Cousin Bud, or coworker Joe has a route and has to schedule soon.

If however you are that concerned about it...could you do something similar Christmas Eve night? Will the kiddos be with you then? That way you get candle light, twinkling Christmas lights...and fire glow...and then later you can spend the rest of the eve together engaged... as the children will tucked sound in their beds, while visions of sugar plums....oh sorry.

Any carriage rides available Christmas eve? Sleigh rides in your geography...you can include the children in other methods. Just keep throwing every idea out until one sticks. I adore scheming in the name of love ...it is so much fun!!!

DKS

 

[door knob solitaire]

Oh...when I was a kiddo...we did most everything Christmas Eve...one of our gifts were new PJ''s. Christmas morning we had family time and new toys and photos were taken eating special breakfast in our new PJ''s. Maybe you give everyone new PJ''s ...one gift to open Christmas Eve. Make sure everyone puts theirs on...and take a picture. In the morning you should have some matching attire and that may make the morning ick less as she will be in new PJS or robe with new slippers. She will feel pretty in new PJ''s.

DKS

Oh I agree with the other poster that said the thought and planning should be sufficient to quell the embarrassment. It is a special plan.

 

[Po10472]

I think your plan sounds excellent. Why not involve the kids a bit more. Have them wake your FF up and hand her a box which is all nicely wrapped.....she''s told to open it and inside there''s nothing but a clue, get out of bed and go into the hall..........she needs to then get out of bed to find another box, again, lavishly parceled, again empty, wtih another clue, to go into the next room or something, so on and so forth........the last box will of course be in your hands, she opens it and again its empty and that''s when your take her hand, whilst you drop to your knee and slip the ring on her finger whilst you ask her. I can just imagine the kids hardly containing themselves as they race around the house and of course you''ll be listening to all this just waiting on them to walk thro the door...........ooohhhh, the suspense and excitement!!!

 

[door knob solitaire]

Oh Po10472!! That is so creative!! YOU ROCK!! Great idea!! Really really gets those kids involved and makes the morning all about family instead of ME ME ME! I love it! (which come to think of it...how will you quell the delay of their presents...oh boy. You may have to pay them!!)

One suggestion...that 5 year old isn't going to keep a secret...better not spill the beans...it is just a secret surprise for mom. Right?

DKS

 

[musey]

As someone who was proposed to at about 8am, lying in bed, half asleep, complete with mussed hair and morning breath--

SHE WILL LOVE IT!

It will be perfect. I was extra giddy because my head was still a little groggy from sleep. What a nice morning surprise

It also made me feel wonderful knowing that my man wanted to ask me to spend the rest of our lives together, even when I looked like a slob

It's going to be wonderful. I love that you're including her kids (and so will she). Good luck!!

 

[Harleigh]

Oh, your idea sounds great, and the gals here have given you some great advice!

Is it Christmas yet??? I can''t wait for you to propose!!!

BTW, do you have a ring yet? Can we at least see that since you''re going to keep us in suspence until at least Christmas for hand shots, so you may have to pacify us another way!

Congratulations on your wonderfully devious plan!!!

 

[Mark21]

Thank you so much for everyone''s advice and comments -- you have put my mind at ease. I spent a lot of time trying to think up a decent proposal, so it makes me happy to know that people think I''m on the right track. Po10472 -- that''s a great idea, but here''s the hitch: her ex-husband''s brother did the same thing!!! How ironic is that? I guess he put boxes on top of rose petals throughout their home and had her on a treasure hunt. But thanks for the suggestion... And yes, I am in the process of buying the ring at this moment. It will probably be 3 weeks before it is all settled, so if you want to wait until then, I will post a picture at that time and resurrect this post. Even better, if I get a photo from the morning of the proposal, I will post that as well. Thanks again for all your thoughtful comments and advice.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Awh what a bummer about the box thing. I think all and all you know your lady. You know that the 3 of you are her PEEPS. If you were planning to have the whole family over waiting at the base of the stairs...then yes I would be mad about the bed head. But you 3 are her peeps!!!

Don't forget rocky talky is a great tool for you in your purchase run the specs through to the pros...thay can help you spot a dud...and even better a great performer in your new stone. Don't want you to have regrets!!

DKS

 

[Pandora II]

I was proposed to in PJs, no make-up, hadn''t brushed my hair and was tucked up on the sofa, bedsocks and all - looking dreadful. At least he proposed to the ''real'' me!

Wouldn''t have changed a thing. To be honest I wasn''t interested in photos to show everyone, it was just about us.