Well, I just bought a ring, yesterday, and am all set to propose to my girl sometime in the next month or two. After dating for three years I think we are both absolutely ready and insanely in love - Indeed, I think it''s going to be hard to live without her for the engagement period.
I am not really sure what to do about the proposal itself, though, and I''d like the advice of some of the ladies here, particularly.
The tradition is definitely to plan a grand, romantic, memorable outing and propose then. However, this fills me with trepidation, for the following reason: for some reason, she is very hard to plan for. I love her to death, but one of her characteristics is that she does have different moods, only some of which are conducive for romance. And I can''t easily influence what they are. It is fairly common for me to plan a "romantic" outing, and have her be tired, down, or thinking of something else, and it really doesn''t wind up that special at all (though usually still worthwhile, since I just love being with her, in any case...)
On the other hand, we do have incredibly beautiful and romantic moments, with good frequency... but I can''t predict or control when they happen. It''s just when the mood takes her, which may be while we are on a walk and see something beautiful, on a drive, browsing an old bookstore, or whatever.
I am filled with dread at the thought of arranging a very special outing, and be trying to work myself up to propose while she''s in a completely different mindset, being tired, talking about her work or school or whatever is on her mind.
So, I am thinking, why not just keep the ring, have my proposal ready, and then just wait for a time and place with the right atmosphere? We live about 2 hours apart, so I''ll be seeing her mainly for dates on weekends... we have some good ones in mind, with things we both enjoy, such as hikes in the country, drives through the mountains, art museums, symphonies, ect. So there will almost surely be opportunities in the next several months - I just really fear planning one in specific, in case something goes wrong, she''s not having a good time, or even just being in a non-romantic mood.
Is this thinking bad, or good? Is it really important to a girl to have something super-special planned, or would it be more important that I caught her in a good emotional state? Or does that not even matter, and the proposal would immediately eclipse any other mood she had, whatever that was?
For reference, it is going to be a surprise to her, which is the way she wants it... I know she wants to get married very much, and sometime in the next year or so, so she knows it''s coming. But she has no clue when... as far as I know, she''s actually expecting it sometime between now and Christmas. She will be happy, though, as I can tell she''s beginning to get impatient. Ideally, I would like her to be suspecting and hoping for it, but honestly not sure of it, whenever I come out and pop the question.
Also, what''s the protocol on actually giving her the ring? I know that, again, the common way would be to present her the ring as I ask the question, but to be honest, this is going to be one of the most important moments of my life, and I would like my undivided focus to be on her, and her on me... not distracted with shiny objects, however beautiful or symbolic. Then, in five minutes, after the initial wave of emotion and excitement, I''d give her the ring. Is that acceptable?
I am not really sure what to do about the proposal itself, though, and I''d like the advice of some of the ladies here, particularly.
The tradition is definitely to plan a grand, romantic, memorable outing and propose then. However, this fills me with trepidation, for the following reason: for some reason, she is very hard to plan for. I love her to death, but one of her characteristics is that she does have different moods, only some of which are conducive for romance. And I can''t easily influence what they are. It is fairly common for me to plan a "romantic" outing, and have her be tired, down, or thinking of something else, and it really doesn''t wind up that special at all (though usually still worthwhile, since I just love being with her, in any case...)
On the other hand, we do have incredibly beautiful and romantic moments, with good frequency... but I can''t predict or control when they happen. It''s just when the mood takes her, which may be while we are on a walk and see something beautiful, on a drive, browsing an old bookstore, or whatever.
I am filled with dread at the thought of arranging a very special outing, and be trying to work myself up to propose while she''s in a completely different mindset, being tired, talking about her work or school or whatever is on her mind.
So, I am thinking, why not just keep the ring, have my proposal ready, and then just wait for a time and place with the right atmosphere? We live about 2 hours apart, so I''ll be seeing her mainly for dates on weekends... we have some good ones in mind, with things we both enjoy, such as hikes in the country, drives through the mountains, art museums, symphonies, ect. So there will almost surely be opportunities in the next several months - I just really fear planning one in specific, in case something goes wrong, she''s not having a good time, or even just being in a non-romantic mood.
Is this thinking bad, or good? Is it really important to a girl to have something super-special planned, or would it be more important that I caught her in a good emotional state? Or does that not even matter, and the proposal would immediately eclipse any other mood she had, whatever that was?
For reference, it is going to be a surprise to her, which is the way she wants it... I know she wants to get married very much, and sometime in the next year or so, so she knows it''s coming. But she has no clue when... as far as I know, she''s actually expecting it sometime between now and Christmas. She will be happy, though, as I can tell she''s beginning to get impatient. Ideally, I would like her to be suspecting and hoping for it, but honestly not sure of it, whenever I come out and pop the question.
Also, what''s the protocol on actually giving her the ring? I know that, again, the common way would be to present her the ring as I ask the question, but to be honest, this is going to be one of the most important moments of my life, and I would like my undivided focus to be on her, and her on me... not distracted with shiny objects, however beautiful or symbolic. Then, in five minutes, after the initial wave of emotion and excitement, I''d give her the ring. Is that acceptable?
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