How much 'honestly' do you drink?

[Wednesday]

I almost never drink at home. Gifts of bottles of wine or liquor (or those purchased to use for cooking) can sit around for years. I have a glass of wine or two at home maybe 2-5 times a year.

Going out is a different story. Drinking is almost essential for social and business relationships in my world. Also, no one drives so there is no worrying about drinking and driving. I occasionally go out to a bar or to a nice restaurant with my spouse on weekends, and I will drink anywhere from 1-3 beers or glasses of wine. If I go out with my spouse and his business associates, that's typically a 2-4 beer event on a weeknight (I usually go for 2 but they end up doing rounds and all of a sudden my glass is magically refilled). If it is a weekend or on a business trip, it could be more/different types of drinks. Happy hours with my co-workers or parties held for other work I do are usually multiple beer or liquor drink events, usually 3 or 4. Parties with friends would be multiple drinks over a span of several hours. These greater-drink events are not every week, perhaps once or twice a month, on average.

I track everything I consume so I pay attention to this. I do not think drinking is bad unless it is part of an addiction or is harming one's health (or others) or interfering with getting things done in life.

 

[madelise]

Maybe about once a week, give or take a week. And just one or two drinks, with a meal. There was an open bar at the GTG, and I only drank water. As the questioning ladies got to see the next day, I get drunk VERY easily. I am positive I'm allergic to alcohol. Having a purple face after sipping just a few sips of a gin and tonic is not a cute look, even if my allergy does mean I'm a cheap date and I'm saving my partner a lot of money

 

[Dreamer_D]

I don't drink anything at all.

Apparently the healthy recommendation for women is one serving of alcohol per day. People who drink that amount are healthier than abstainers and people who drink more.

 

[Ally T]

Madelise - I am a cheap date too!

Wednesday - I also think that at the end of the day, I am healthy, I exercise, I don't smoke, have never done drugs etc, so if I want to have a glass of wine then I will. I guess we all know our limits & whether we 'should' or 'should not' have another glass....

 

[Dreamer_D]

I don't drink at all. I did when I was young but stopped while TTC 25 years ago, and just never started again, for several reasons. Alcoholism runs in my family so I think I'm better off playing it safe and just abstaining. Didn't want to be impaired while taking care of young kids. Also wanted to show my kids it's possible to enjoy life without drinking. Not judging anybody here, everybody should just do what works best for them, I'm not against others drinking but just wanted to be honest about my own reasons for not doing it.

June, I don't drink for similar reasons, though I stopped when I was 21. Does your husband drink at all? I am curious. I find that I don't like my husband to be intoxicated around me. He was never a heavy drinker anyway, which is part of why we are married I suppose (our habits match), but because of my attitude and choices he probably drinks less than he would otherwise drink. Only drink about 2 drinks a week on average and maybe has a party weekend with the guys 2 times a year. I am just curious how it works in your marriage.

 

[Niel]

I don't drink anything at all.

Apparently the healthy recommendation for women is one serving of alcohol per day. People who drink that amount are healthier than abstainers and people who drink more.

Yes i believe a glass of red wine or even a bottle of a good beer is good for you. I never really even considered having "a drink" as "drinking." It tastes good and compliments my meal, and im certainly not getting drunk

 

[Ally T]

Niel -a girl after my own heart

 

[Skippy123]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

 

[Mayk]

DH and I love red wine. Together We will drink one or two bottles over the weekend. That's about the max. Occasionally, one glass if I'm out to dinner during the week... For us, half the fun is tasting what we have picked and deciding if we will pull the label and do a repeat purchase. We have poured them down the drain too!!

 

[SB621]

I have very young children so DH and I do not drink EVER in front of them or when we will be with them. However if we go out for a date night then we usually have a glass or two. However, with that said sometimes we go months without having anything. I personally feel that If I'm going to intake calories I would rather have dessert instead of alcohol.

But with all that said when we go away on vacation we usually hit the ground running and party a bit more then we probably should. Now that we are soon to be no longer in our 20's I see this changing though. At least for me I don't have the energy to go out partying or drinking like we used to.

 

[Niel]

I have very young children so DH and I do not drink EVER in front of them or when we will be with them. However if we go out for a date night then we usually have a glass or two. However, with that said sometimes we go months without having anything. I personally feel that If I'm going to intake calories I would rather have dessert instead of alcohol.

But with all that said when we go away on vacation we usually hit the ground running and party a bit more then we probably should. Now that we are soon to be no longer in our 20's I see this changing though. At least for me I don't have the energy to go out partying or drinking like we used to.

See thats funny because if someone offered me cake or a bloody beer id rather drink the calories. I sort of consider it my "dessert" to a meal.



I find it really interesting to hear everybody's opinions.

 

[junebug17]

I don't drink at all. I did when I was young but stopped while TTC 25 years ago, and just never started again, for several reasons. Alcoholism runs in my family so I think I'm better off playing it safe and just abstaining. Didn't want to be impaired while taking care of young kids. Also wanted to show my kids it's possible to enjoy life without drinking. Not judging anybody here, everybody should just do what works best for them, I'm not against others drinking but just wanted to be honest about my own reasons for not doing it.

June, I don't drink for similar reasons, though I stopped when I was 21. Does your husband drink at all? I am curious. I find that I don't like my husband to be intoxicated around me. He was never a heavy drinker anyway, which is part of why we are married I suppose (our habits match), but because of my attitude and choices he probably drinks less than he would otherwise drink. Only drink about 2 drinks a week on average and maybe has a party weekend with the guys 2 times a year. I am just curious how it works in your marriage.

My husband isn't a big drinker - he usually has a few beers on a Saturday night and that's about it. He'll sometimes have a beer if we go out to eat, or if we're at a business dinner. We went to a wedding a few weeks ago and he had two beers. He goes on weekend golf trips a few times a year with friends, so I'm sure he drinks then, probably more than he normally would.

 

[rosetta]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

Yup. I'll try and dig up a link to the paper. There's no evidence that red wine specifically is good for you. You gain the same benefits from a glass of grape juice. Sorry folks! I can't think of a single paper that provides statistically significant evidence of the health benefits of alcohol per se.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Maybe 5 margaritas per year, if that much. I love them, which is exactly why I limit myself. I also have addiction issues in my family and have really only had that many margaritas per year in the last year and a half. Before that, zero. In fact, five may be a little more than I have actually had.

 

[sonnyjane]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

Yup. I'll try and dig up a link to the paper. There's no evidence that red wine specifically is good for you. You gain the same benefits from a glass of grape juice. Sorry folks! I can't think of a single paper that provides statistically significant evidence of the health benefits of alcohol per se.

A simple Google search of "Health Benefits of Alcohol" will reveal many findings that don't just involve tannins like in red wine. Alcohol (not wine specifically) can help increase your good cholesterol, reducing the danger of blood clots and improving heart health, can help with insulin sensitivity in diabetes patients (Type 1) and can even help reduce the rate of mental decline in women as they age. There are OBVIOUSLY downsides if you drink more than the recommended one drink a day. Just saying that not all the benefits of alcohol have to do with red wine.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Enough to get drunk...

 

[Phoenix]

I went through a period of 6 months whereby I didn't drink at all, not even a drop. Now I drink aon average 1 glass of white wine and/ or champagne almost everyday, except for the last five days when I had only half a bottle of beer a day. I'd love to drop drinking altogether because I think drinking ages you and for a small woman like me, it can't possibly do any good. Alas, I love the taste of white wine and especially champagne too much to give up drinking totally (though that doesn't stop me from trying).

DH drinks quite a bit, he doesn't get drunk (at least it doesn't show). He doesn't drink during the day, only at nights - either at home or when he's out with his work colleagues and/ or friends. On average, I'd say he drinks 3-4 drinks a night, every night. He likes G&T, beer and a small amount of whisky. On certain occasions (I'd say abt once every two or three months, but it can be once a month) he may drink up to 8-10 drinks at a time with his friends or colleagues. He's a big guy so it seems like he can "handle" his drinks but I worry about him. He's aged quite a bit and his beer belly has started to show as well. He does exercise fairly regularly (like twice or three times a week) but I worry that his liver may be suffering. I'm also concerned that he might have a stroke or a heart attack, especially since he used to be a heavy smoker and he still occasionally sneaks the odd cigarettes - much to my dismay and protests (he knows I am very anti-smoking). I've tried all sorts of tacts (from gentle persuasion to downright not saying anything) in the hope he'd do it on his own account) to convince him to drink less and go for a liver test, but so far he won't do anything! So this thread is rather timely. Does anyone have any advice?

 

[natascha]

It really depends on he week and what I am doing. I never drink alone as a have an addictive personality. For example I cant handle candy. So I had to go completely cold turkey and realize that I will never ever have another piece of candy in my life. I do not want to have to do that with alcohol too because I love the taste of wine.

So it works fine, since I now might go a week or two with no alcohol at all, then there might be a period of 3-4 days where I drink something, but I extremely rarely get drunk, even at parties I usually only get a bit tipsy. My worry now is moving to London... have a feeling there will be a lot more alcohol... Used to be able to drink way to much without getting affected, but after being sick earlier this spring now I feel that one glass of wine has an effect, which is ... hmmm ... good?

 

[rosetta]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

Yup. I'll try and dig up a link to the paper. There's no evidence that red wine specifically is good for you. You gain the same benefits from a glass of grape juice. Sorry folks! I can't think of a single paper that provides statistically significant evidence of the health benefits of alcohol per se.

A simple Google search of "Health Benefits of Alcohol" will reveal many findings that don't just involve tannins like in red wine. Alcohol (not wine specifically) can help increase your good cholesterol, reducing the danger of blood clots and improving heart health, can help with insulin sensitivity in diabetes patients (Type 1) and can even help reduce the rate of mental decline in women as they age. There are OBVIOUSLY downsides if you drink more than the recommended one drink a day. Just saying that not all the benefits of alcohol have to do with red wine.

Google is not medical fact. It is thought that flavinoids increase your good cholesterol which are in greatest quantities in red wine (even then there is debate about whether you can drink enough of it to get any benefits without getting drunk) and there are barely any flavinoids in drinks like vodka. There is no consensus on alcohol reducing rates of diabetes or mental decline (please provide links to scientific papers if you would like to support these claims as I would like to read them) I read a great deal of scientific literature and I'm writing two papers currently (obviously not on alcohol but on my own work) so I'm always interested in learning more and happy to be corrected with peer reviewed literature. I'm not entrenched in any views (I don't drink, my husband who is also a doctor used to without worrying much about his health, he sort of gradually stopped not because he thought he was being healthy but because he didn't really like the taste after all)

A moderate amount of alcohol within the set limits isn't going to cause health risks. But I don't think it's going to get you much in the way of health benefits. If you want to lower cholesterol, reduce risk of diabetes and reduce mental decline, it is far better to eat well and get regular exercise. As a doctor, I have never advised a patient who abstains from alcohol to start drinking to improve their health.

Link to an abstract (note I haven't had time to read or critique the full paper) on topic:

http://www.nmcd-journal.com/article/S0939-4753(13)00067-7/abstract

There is some rather worrying evidence on small quantities of alcohol causing increased risk of breast cancer. One of my colleagues is deep in further research on this and I'm keeping a close eye on his findings!

Sorry for the threadjack!

 

[missy]

I went through a period of 6 months whereby I didn't drink at all, not even a drop. Now I drink aon average 1 glass of white wine and/ or champagne almost everyday, except for the last five days when I had only half a bottle of beer a day. I'd love to drop drinking altogether because I think drinking ages you and for a small woman like me, it can't possibly do any good. Alas, I love the taste of white wine and especially champagne too much to give up drinking totally (though that doesn't stop me from trying).

DH drinks quite a bit, he doesn't get drunk (at least it doesn't show). He doesn't drink during the day, only at nights - either at home or when he's out with his work colleagues and/ or friends. On average, I'd say he drinks 3-4 drinks a night, every night. He likes G&T, beer and a small amount of whisky. On certain occasions (I'd say abt once every two or three months, but it can be once a month) he may drink up to 8-10 drinks at a time with his friends or colleagues. He's a big guy so it seems like he can "handle" his drinks but I worry about him. He's aged quite a bit and his beer belly has started to show as well. He does exercise fairly regularly (like twice or three times a week) but I worry that his liver may be suffering. I'm also concerned that he might have a stroke or a heart attack, especially since he used to be a heavy smoker and he still occasionally sneaks the odd cigarettes - much to my dismay and protests (he knows I am very anti-smoking). I've tried all sorts of tacts (from gentle persuasion to downright not saying anything) in the hope he'd do it on his own account) to convince him to drink less and go for a liver test, but so far he won't do anything! So this thread is rather timely. Does anyone have any advice?

Hi Phoenix, I had a similar issue with my dh. We come from very different backgrounds regarding alcohol consumption and my dh has quite a high tolerance for liquor. Many of our friends drink too much (IMO some of them are functioning alcoholics) and initially when I pointed this out to my dh he was resistant. It took some time but he is now more careful with his alcohol intake and he agrees with me re our functioning alcoholic friends.

I have nothing against a drink or 2 but it does tax the liver and I prefer he does no more than that per night and he takes off one day during the week (as per my request) as to give his body a rest from the liquor. I did it through gentle reasoning and with the help of our physician. My dh and I go together for our annual physicals and our doctor is very good and very intelligent and very soft spoken. He always says best for one drink per day (max 2 for a man) but if you don't already drink no reason to start. And empty calories for sure (according to our physician and I tend to agree).

Having said this the main way I did it (besides monotonous repetition much to the chagrin of my dh lol) was to explain to him that I want him around for a very long time and to do it for me if not for him. He used to smoke cigars as well and I got him to quit that nasty (IMO) habit too over 12 years ago. There is so much else to enjoy in life that I just don't feel it necessary to endanger one's health with smoking or excessive drinking yanno? Ofc everyone must choose their poison/vice etc but the dangers of smoking are so well documented that it's worse than russian roulette IMO.

Changing his habits did not happen overnight by any means -it took years- but fortunately through gentle persuasion, reasoning, and help from our physician I was successful. Even during parties now he won't have too much more than 2 drinks and that is partly due to the fact that I have trouble seeing well at night so I can no longer be a good designated driver especially when we have a longer drive home.

It may take time but your dh is a smart man and with your love, support and soft reasoning I hope he will understand your motivations are just for his well being and long term health. I find that nagging or being harsh will just backfire. It's easy reasoning all the way. At least with my dh. It's the same way he gave up his motorcycle in fact. He finally came to the realization of the dangers on his own (with my help ofc but in a non intrusive way so he could take full responsibility for that smart and possibly life saving decision).

Good luck Phoenix and if you haven't already gotten your physician involved I would think about that. And going with him to his next physical. Our men are smart and handsome but they need a woman for good old common sense sometimes!

 

[distracts]

Usually one or two drinks a month, with more once a year, often on NYE.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

Well this is good to know. Skippy, do you mean black tea? Like, Orange Pekoe and similar?

 

[Dreamer_D]

I went through a period of 6 months whereby I didn't drink at all, not even a drop. Now I drink aon average 1 glass of white wine and/ or champagne almost everyday, except for the last five days when I had only half a bottle of beer a day. I'd love to drop drinking altogether because I think drinking ages you and for a small woman like me, it can't possibly do any good. Alas, I love the taste of white wine and especially champagne too much to give up drinking totally (though that doesn't stop me from trying).

DH drinks quite a bit, he doesn't get drunk (at least it doesn't show). He doesn't drink during the day, only at nights - either at home or when he's out with his work colleagues and/ or friends. On average, I'd say he drinks 3-4 drinks a night, every night. He likes G&T, beer and a small amount of whisky. On certain occasions (I'd say abt once every two or three months, but it can be once a month) he may drink up to 8-10 drinks at a time with his friends or colleagues. He's a big guy so it seems like he can "handle" his drinks but I worry about him. He's aged quite a bit and his beer belly has started to show as well. He does exercise fairly regularly (like twice or three times a week) but I worry that his liver may be suffering. I'm also concerned that he might have a stroke or a heart attack, especially since he used to be a heavy smoker and he still occasionally sneaks the odd cigarettes - much to my dismay and protests (he knows I am very anti-smoking). I've tried all sorts of tacts (from gentle persuasion to downright not saying anything) in the hope he'd do it on his own account) to convince him to drink less and go for a liver test, but so far he won't do anything! So this thread is rather timely. Does anyone have any advice?

Phoenix, are you primarily concerned about his physical health or do you also have concerns that he has an addiction? To me the latter would mean personality or mood or behavioral changes when drinking, using alcohol to cope with stressors in life or life events, engaging in unsafe behaviors when drinking, or drinking compromising work or personal relationships (not sure of a technical definition, this would be my own definition). It might also mean that his drinking affects your life and choices and behaviors, and that you find yourself overly-focussed on "managing" his drinking in some way (co-dependence as I see it). You don't need to detail or respond, just thought its worth thinking about. My advice might be different depending on which of these two concerns you have

I suppose my general advice in both cases would be that we cannot control our loved one's behavior, as much as it pains us We can only control our reactions and our own behaviors. So all one can do is model the behaviors one prefers and make sure one is not indirectly enabling him by giving him "permission" in some way to engage in the behavior (e.g., buying a favourite alcohol, adjusting plans to accommodate his desire to drink) or by protecting him from negative consequences of his actions (e.g., helping with a hang over; picking him up when he cannot drive home). One can also choose not to be around him if he engages in negative behaviors, removing oneself from the situation, and thus essentially creating a negative interpersonal consequence for the behavior. At the end of the day with any behavior from a spouse we have to decide how much we can tolerate before the costs outweigh the benefits. I think counselling can help sort out such issues when the bad does start outweighing the good. But up to that point my thought is to not try to control others' behaviors even if they really trigger our fears.

 

[kenny]

Not to be harsh but a person's drinking problem is up to them to recognize and fix.
No amount of love or help will do a thing if it is to the point where the alcohol itself has taken over the person.

My late father was an alcoholic from when I was age 10.
He was on and off the wagon and in and out of AA programs his entire life.
It took our family decades to learn that all of our efforts to 'help' him were in vain.

As an adult I attend ACA (adult children of alcoholic) meetings and they were enormously helpful for me.
I had no idea that everyone in the family of an alcoholic also gets somewhat bent out of shape by living with an alcoholic.
We get bent out of shape in very similar and predictable ways.

Discovering this was a godsend for me psychologically; I thought I was just the only person in the world who was messed in these ways.
To suddenly sit in a circle with other ACAs with the same issues was liberating and healing.

It's not that we don't care about the alcoholic loved one, we just got educated on the disease of alcoholism, and how it is 100% up to the alcoholic to heal himself.

The only thing I take issue with in AA or ACA 12-step programs is they say you never graduate.
I disagree.

 

[amc80]

Not much at all. I maybe average one drink a month. Unless I'm on vacation or something, then it's more. I'm trying to remember the last time I had a drink and I think it was a jack and diet at a baseball game...over a month ago. I really need to drink more because I willl be pregnant again soon (hopefully) and then I know I will want a drink.

 

[House Cat]

I went through a period of 6 months whereby I didn't drink at all, not even a drop. Now I drink aon average 1 glass of white wine and/ or champagne almost everyday, except for the last five days when I had only half a bottle of beer a day. I'd love to drop drinking altogether because I think drinking ages you and for a small woman like me, it can't possibly do any good. Alas, I love the taste of white wine and especially champagne too much to give up drinking totally (though that doesn't stop me from trying).

DH drinks quite a bit, he doesn't get drunk (at least it doesn't show). He doesn't drink during the day, only at nights - either at home or when he's out with his work colleagues and/ or friends. On average, I'd say he drinks 3-4 drinks a night, every night. He likes G&T, beer and a small amount of whisky. On certain occasions (I'd say abt once every two or three months, but it can be once a month) he may drink up to 8-10 drinks at a time with his friends or colleagues. He's a big guy so it seems like he can "handle" his drinks but I worry about him. He's aged quite a bit and his beer belly has started to show as well. He does exercise fairly regularly (like twice or three times a week) but I worry that his liver may be suffering. I'm also concerned that he might have a stroke or a heart attack, especially since he used to be a heavy smoker and he still occasionally sneaks the odd cigarettes - much to my dismay and protests (he knows I am very anti-smoking). I've tried all sorts of tacts (from gentle persuasion to downright not saying anything) in the hope he'd do it on his own account) to convince him to drink less and go for a liver test, but so far he won't do anything! So this thread is rather timely. Does anyone have any advice?

If you are truly concerned that he has a problem, then you should go to al-anon.

You can't do anything at all to get him to do anything at all.


This comes from someone who wishes with all of her heart that you could.

 

[House Cat]

Not to be harsh but a person's drinking problem is up to them to recognize and fix.
No amount of love or help will do a thing if it is to the point where the alcohol itself has taken over the person.

My late father was an alcoholic from when I was age 10.
He was on and off the wagon and in and out of AA programs his entire life.
It took our family decades to learn that all of our efforts to 'help' him were in vain.

As an adult I attend ACA (adult children of alcoholic) meetings and they were enormously helpful for me.
I had no idea that everyone in the family of an alcoholic also gets somewhat bent out of shape by living with an alcoholic.
We get bent out of shape in very similar and predictable ways.

Discovering this was a godsend for me psychologically; I thought I was just the only person in the world who was messed in these ways.
To suddenly sit in a circle with other ACAs with the same issues was liberating and healing.

It's not that we don't care about the alcoholic loved one, we just got educated on the disease of alcoholism, and how it is 100% up to the alcoholic to heal himself.

The only thing I take issue with in AA or ACA 12-step programs is they say you never graduate.
I disagree.

I think they mean that you will always be working the steps in your life and pretty much on a daily basis?


I wish there were a stronger ACA program in my area. I have a strong need for their teachings. Their groups are so small that there are no sponsors. I do attend al-anon.

I too, was amazed to sit in a room full of ACA's and hear that they were (pretty much) just like me. I felt that for the first time in my life, I had found my people.

 

[Skippy123]

I read somewhere that you get the tannins in tea, apple juice, grape juice and berry juice if you want the benefits of red wine and that those fruit juices may be even better than red wine.

Well this is good to know. Skippy, do you mean black tea? Like, Orange Pekoe and similar?

Hi Dreamer, I only know it is green tea here is an article. Black tea does have its health benefits for being an anti angiogenesis (info posted under the green tea)
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200306/green-tea-the-brain
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2517785/

 

[Autumnovember]

Never during the week.

While I was in nursing school, I drank every single weekend, usually a lot.

Now, I will only really drink on the weekends if my husband is drinking. If he is, I'll drink wine, beer, or sangria. I can drink a lot of wine - my tolerance is high and I hate it. I wish it only took 1 or 2 glasses to catch a buzz. The only time I'm actually drinking to enjoy the taste is RARE - I rather waste calories on food than alcohol.

I never drink vodka anymore. It just never goes according to plan.

I drink tequila on very special occasions.

I do not get along with LIT's although I do like how they taste...

 

[lknvrb4]

I drink a glass of one most nights a week when the kids go to bed and its time to chill for the day.