Do you mind the question, "What do you do?"

[Smith1942]

I am socially awkward. I do not enjoy meeting people. I do not like talking to people I do not know. Trying to find something to talk about w/people I do not know makes me want to vomit or cry. So, if I am someplace and introduced to someone, rather than stare uncomfortably at my surroundings and wish a hole would swallow me up, I will ask questions.

Where are you from? YES I WILL F-ING ASK THIS. Do you live here? Are you from here? (meaning THIS TOWN not this f-ing country, so I'll just get THAT out of the way shall I?) If you are not from here, I will ask if you are just visiting or did you move here?

See how this works is, this hopefully sparks a con-ver-sa-tion. Where us big kids talk about stuff. Whatcha do see, is I say something, and then you say something back, relating to what I said, and we have a meeting of the minds.

Oh, you're just visiting? Do you have relatives here? (meaning, might I know them, maybe we have that in common)
Oh, you moved here? Did you move for a job, or to be closer to someone here? (cuz there's no other earthly reason for anyone to move here, just so's ya know) Where did you move from?
Oh, you moved for a job-where do you work/what do you do?
Ah, I see, your husbands job, and you stay home w/the kids. I loved staying home w/my kids..how old are yours?

Small talk. Nobody is going to ask another person upon meeting them for the first time who their favorite Loony Tunes character is, or if they believe in God. Do you masturbate? This is also not an appropriate initial meeting question to ask of another person.

However, I find that people are becoming super touchy about everything anymore, so this makes it hard to initiate a conversation w/anyone other than people you've known for a while, for fear of offending or pissing someone off.

I'll just start asking people if they have a lot of money. Or how they stand on the death penalty. Or if they like oral sex. Cuz for whatever reason, those types of questions seem to not spark the instant rage and righteous indignation that innocuous questions do.

ROFL to all this! I was hoping this thread question might spark some - well, sparky - debate!

 

[madelise]

I always ask this of people I am genuinely trying to start a conversation with. Usually I like to talk about their work so that we have something to talk about. I have been given answers where I had no idea what their job means, so I end up stuck, though

 

[Smith1942]

I am socially awkward. I do not enjoy meeting people. I do not like talking to people I do not know. Trying to find something to talk about w/people I do not know makes me want to vomit or cry. So, if I am someplace and introduced to someone, rather than stare uncomfortably at my surroundings and wish a hole would swallow me up, I will ask questions.

Where are you from? YES I WILL F-ING ASK THIS. Do you live here? Are you from here? (meaning THIS TOWN not this f-ing country, so I'll just get THAT out of the way shall I?) If you are not from here, I will ask if you are just visiting or did you move here?

See how this works is, this hopefully sparks a con-ver-sa-tion. Where us big kids talk about stuff. Whatcha do see, is I say something, and then you say something back, relating to what I said, and we have a meeting of the minds.

Oh, you're just visiting? Do you have relatives here? (meaning, might I know them, maybe we have that in common)
Oh, you moved here? Did you move for a job, or to be closer to someone here? (cuz there's no other earthly reason for anyone to move here, just so's ya know) Where did you move from?
Oh, you moved for a job-where do you work/what do you do?
Ah, I see, your husbands job, and you stay home w/the kids. I loved staying home w/my kids..how old are yours?

Small talk. Nobody is going to ask another person upon meeting them for the first time who their favorite Loony Tunes character is, or if they believe in God. Do you masturbate? This is also not an appropriate initial meeting question to ask of another person.

However, I find that people are becoming super touchy about everything anymore, so this makes it hard to initiate a conversation w/anyone other than people you've known for a while, for fear of offending or pissing someone off.

I'll just start asking people if they have a lot of money. Or how they stand on the death penalty. Or if they like oral sex. Cuz for whatever reason, those types of questions seem to not spark the instant rage and righteous indignation that innocuous questions do.

Is this quite recent in the States? Just that my native country, UK, has been like this for a few decades now - touchy and overly PC. I'm pretty used to it. My dad was on the phone with a customer service rep the other day, and while they were waiting for the computer to go through the motions, my dad asked the rep where he was from, as a way of making conversation. The rep was in a service centre in India, I think. Anyway, after my dad asked the question, a manager who must have been listening jumped in and told him off! (There's a whole thread on this "Where are you from?" question, btw!)

 

[packrat]

haha no, it's not new here..you pretty much can't say or do anything anymore w/out offending someone, or a group of someone's. Everything has to be worded *just* *exactly* *so*.

Merry Christmas! NO NO NO OMG A THOUSAND TIMES NO do not ever tell anyone that, you must say Happy Holidays b/c not everyone celebrates Christmas and you will offend those that don't.

Cuz it's hard yanno, to just smile and say thanks, you too! (Which I spent the first 27 years of my life doing until I started to celebrate the holiday---and I was never reduced to tears by someone trying to be nice/polite but whatever, apparently I'm tougher'n wang leather b/c I can "take" that)

I'd rather have someone actually do/say something that gives me a reason to be pissy. Like...maybe I'll just start smiling and waving and instead of "Merry Christmas!" I'll say..."F-you!" or..um.."Hey, there's something following you oooh wait sorry, it's just your big fat ass, my bad!"

Yeah, I've read that Where are you from thread, that's what sparked my tangent on Yes I do ask that question.

 

[JewelFreak]

Packrat, I LOVE YOU!! Your post has been repeated 3 times so I won't copy it again, but it rocks!

The UK is worse than here, Smith, for PC ness. It certainly is not the Britain of old, but a place now where the thought police use clubs. It makes me extremely sad because it used to be so wonderful with marvelous people who did not fear being wacky -- in other words, having fun in life. I don't know how this tragedy occurred but I sure wish a freshening wind would blow through there. How did all this mania start, anyway? Do you know?

It sounds like your in-laws are insecure. Over what, isn't my business & I don't care -- putting others down on any basis except poor, cruel or illegal behavior is a classic way people make themselves feel superior. So take it for what it is -- pathetic. (My MIL did it constantly & I ignored her as not worth activating my brain cells over.) 99% of other people don't really give a darn what you do. They don't care about evaluating your social rank. They don't intend to marry you, just to have some chit chat while you're both stuck at such-&-such a party or meeting.

If you want to know what they do besides work, ask. If you'd rather talk about your hobbies than your job, do it. Or, in order not to be at all personal, you could open with something impersonal, like, "What do you think about that dumb crook Obama?"

--- Laurie

 

[packrat]

hahaha thanks, I try!

 

[TooPatient]

haha no, it's not new here..you pretty much can't say or do anything anymore w/out offending someone, or a group of someone's. Everything has to be worded *just* *exactly* *so*.

Merry Christmas! NO NO NO OMG A THOUSAND TIMES NO do not ever tell anyone that, you must say Happy Holidays b/c not everyone celebrates Christmas and you will offend those that don't.

Cuz it's hard yanno, to just smile and say thanks, you too! (Which I spent the first 27 years of my life doing until I started to celebrate the holiday---and I was never reduced to tears by someone trying to be nice/polite but whatever, apparently I'm tougher'n wang leather b/c I can "take" that)

I'd rather have someone actually do/say something that gives me a reason to be pissy. Like...maybe I'll just start smiling and waving and instead of "Merry Christmas!" I'll say..."F-you!" or..um.."Hey, there's something following you oooh wait sorry, it's just your big fat a$$, my bad!"

Yeah, I've read that Where are you from thread, that's what sparked my tangent on Yes I do ask that question.

It is pretty new to me. Maybe it is just the circles of friends we have now? I don't know. This has only gotten bad in the last 5-10 years that I've notice.... Maybe I was just dense and came across as rude to everyone?

I'm greeted with "Merry Christmas" all the time. So is DH. We're Jewish. Our reaction? Smile and say "You too!" unless it is someone we're getting to know better and then we say something like "We're Jewish and don't celebrate Christmas, but I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas "
We even send out a couple of Christmas cards.


This awful PC-ness is miserable!
I don't mean to be rude to people -- and if I do, you'll KNOW.
Just take my questions or compliments in the kind way they were meant. I'm not going to force a conversation on something if a person seems uncomfortable but give me the same benefit as I give you!

 

[Smith1942]

Packrat, I LOVE YOU!! Your post has been repeated 3 times so I won't copy it again, but it rocks!

The UK is worse than here, Smith, for PC ness. It certainly is not the Britain of old, but a place now where the thought police use clubs. It makes me extremely sad because it used to be so wonderful with marvelous people who did not fear being wacky -- in other words, having fun in life. I don't know how this tragedy occurred but I sure wish a freshening wind would blow through there. How did all this mania start, anyway? Do you know?

It sounds like your in-laws are insecure. Over what, isn't my business & I don't care -- putting others down on any basis except poor, cruel or illegal behavior is a classic way people make themselves feel superior. So take it for what it is -- pathetic. (My MIL did it constantly & I ignored her as not worth activating my brain cells over.) 99% of other people don't really give a darn what you do. They don't care about evaluating your social rank. They don't intend to marry you, just to have some chit chat while you're both stuck at such-&-such a party or meeting.

If you want to know what they do besides work, ask. If you'd rather talk about your hobbies than your job, do it. Or, in order not to be at all personal, you could open with something impersonal, like, "What do you think about that dumb crook Obama?"

--- Laurie

Absolutely - it's down to insecurity, without a doubt. Understanding them doesn't make them any more pleasant, though!

Re. when did the overly-PC culture start in the UK? Probably has it roots in the Labour Government after the war. At some point a few years after the NHS was set up, Britain began to welcome large numbers of immigrants looking for better lives. I'm not sure if the population had been so decreased by the war that there was an urgent need for workers, or what - that's just a guess. Anyway, so we became much more diverse and multicultural, which obviously brings a need for greater tolerance and understanding of others from different cultures. And for whatever reason, it snowballed a little too much and we ended up with this very touchy, PC culture. Still, it's better to be over-tolerant than under-tolerant, even if the PC lobby gets a bit much sometimes!

 

[Smith1942]

Packrat, I LOVE YOU!! Your post has been repeated 3 times so I won't copy it again, but it rocks!

The UK is worse than here, Smith, for PC ness. It certainly is not the Britain of old, but a place now where the thought police use clubs. It makes me extremely sad because it used to be so wonderful with marvelous people who did not fear being wacky -- in other words, having fun in life. I don't know how this tragedy occurred but I sure wish a freshening wind would blow through there. How did all this mania start, anyway? Do you know?

It sounds like your in-laws are insecure. Over what, isn't my business & I don't care -- putting others down on any basis except poor, cruel or illegal behavior is a classic way people make themselves feel superior. So take it for what it is -- pathetic. (My MIL did it constantly & I ignored her as not worth activating my brain cells over.) 99% of other people don't really give a darn what you do. They don't care about evaluating your social rank. They don't intend to marry you, just to have some chit chat while you're both stuck at such-&-such a party or meeting.

If you want to know what they do besides work, ask. If you'd rather talk about your hobbies than your job, do it. Or, in order not to be at all personal, you could open with something impersonal, like, "What do you think about that dumb crook Obama?"

--- Laurie

Well, you don't know. They might have their eye on you!

 

[Smith1942]

I always ask this of people I am genuinely trying to start a conversation with. Usually I like to talk about their work so that we have something to talk about. I have been given answers where I had no idea what their job means, so I end up stuck, though

Yes, sometimes the question can be a conversation-stopper rather than a conversation-starter, can't it!

 

[Smith1942]

Packrat, I LOVE YOU!! Your post has been repeated 3 times so I won't copy it again, but it rocks!

The UK is worse than here, Smith, for PC ness. It certainly is not the Britain of old, but a place now where the thought police use clubs. It makes me extremely sad because it used to be so wonderful with marvelous people who did not fear being wacky -- in other words, having fun in life. I don't know how this tragedy occurred but I sure wish a freshening wind would blow through there. How did all this mania start, anyway? Do you know?

It sounds like your in-laws are insecure. Over what, isn't my business & I don't care -- putting others down on any basis except poor, cruel or illegal behavior is a classic way people make themselves feel superior. So take it for what it is -- pathetic. (My MIL did it constantly & I ignored her as not worth activating my brain cells over.) 99% of other people don't really give a darn what you do. They don't care about evaluating your social rank. They don't intend to marry you, just to have some chit chat while you're both stuck at such-&-such a party or meeting.

If you want to know what they do besides work, ask. If you'd rather talk about your hobbies than your job, do it. Or, in order not to be at all personal, you could open with something impersonal, like, "What do you think about that dumb crook Obama?"

--- Laurie

ROFL!!! I don't think that would fly in blue ole' Boston!

 

[Ximena]

On the surface, it seems like an ordinary question so we have something to talk about. I answer two ways:
What do I do? I do a lot of things, I'm passionate about dancing and enjoy good food....What are YOU passionate about?
For those who insist on what I do to earn money to compare me to their socioeconomic ladder. I often tell the truth: self-employed and excuse myself. Probably rude but I've grown tired of it; I’ll try to do better on my thirties.

 

[Smith1942]

haha no, it's not new here..you pretty much can't say or do anything anymore w/out offending someone, or a group of someone's. Everything has to be worded *just* *exactly* *so*.

Merry Christmas! NO NO NO OMG A THOUSAND TIMES NO do not ever tell anyone that, you must say Happy Holidays b/c not everyone celebrates Christmas and you will offend those that don't.

Cuz it's hard yanno, to just smile and say thanks, you too! (Which I spent the first 27 years of my life doing until I started to celebrate the holiday---and I was never reduced to tears by someone trying to be nice/polite but whatever, apparently I'm tougher'n wang leather b/c I can "take" that)

I'd rather have someone actually do/say something that gives me a reason to be pissy. Like...maybe I'll just start smiling and waving and instead of "Merry Christmas!" I'll say..."F-you!" or..um.."Hey, there's something following you oooh wait sorry, it's just your big fat a$$, my bad!"

Yeah, I've read that Where are you from thread, that's what sparked my tangent on Yes I do ask that question.

ROFL X 10! Packrat, you are on FORM today! I'm wiping the tears from my eyes!

 

[Smith1942]

On the surface, it seems like an ordinary question so we have something to talk about. I answer two ways:
What do I do? I do a lot of things, I'm passionate about dancing and enjoy good food....What are YOU passionate about?
For those who insist on what I do to earn money to compare me to their socioeconomic ladder. I often tell the truth: self-employed and excuse myself. Probably rude but I've grown tired of it; I’ll try to do better on my thirties.

That is a fabulous answer! I'm going to use that one.

Or you could say, "I could tell you...but then I'd have to kill you!"

 

[baby monster]

I understand where Smith is coming from with this question. It can be a very status specific inquiry. Overall, I find that Americans are much more open and frank with their questions than Europeans. I didn't grow up in US but have lived in US for many years so now I'm much more used to this interview - like line of questioning. At first it used to shock me because I was raised with the understanding that personal questions were rude. One was supposed to talk about arts, current events or weather but never about work, religion, health or politics.

People make lot of assumptions made about me because of my work so I try to limit my response to that question. Btw, I used to say that I worked as an embalmer as a distraction. Conversation stopper for sure.

 

[packrat]

"What do you do?"

"I'm a chicken sexer"

problem solved.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a fluffer on gay **** movie sets"

problem solved.

I think the PC-brigade has been stomping around for a long while. Even back when I was in high school, I remember a huge to-do about the use of "Man" in the Bible. "God created Man" and everyone was freaking out about it. Then you couldn't say PoliceMAN, you had to say Policeperson, or Policewoman if female. No MailMAN, it is mailperson, or lettercarrier. that kinda stuff was a huge deal. If you hold a door open for a woman, you're sexist. If you don't, you're a jackass.

Everyone has to get a ribbon. Everything and everyone has to be fair and equal 117% of the time. (tho that I think is relatively new)

 

[packrat]

haha no, it's not new here..you pretty much can't say or do anything anymore w/out offending someone, or a group of someone's. Everything has to be worded *just* *exactly* *so*.

Merry Christmas! NO NO NO OMG A THOUSAND TIMES NO do not ever tell anyone that, you must say Happy Holidays b/c not everyone celebrates Christmas and you will offend those that don't.

Cuz it's hard yanno, to just smile and say thanks, you too! (Which I spent the first 27 years of my life doing until I started to celebrate the holiday---and I was never reduced to tears by someone trying to be nice/polite but whatever, apparently I'm tougher'n wang leather b/c I can "take" that)

I'd rather have someone actually do/say something that gives me a reason to be pissy. Like...maybe I'll just start smiling and waving and instead of "Merry Christmas!" I'll say..."F-you!" or..um.."Hey, there's something following you oooh wait sorry, it's just your big fat a$$, my bad!"

Yeah, I've read that Where are you from thread, that's what sparked my tangent on Yes I do ask that question.

ROFL X 10! Packrat, you are on FORM today! I'm wiping the tears from my eyes!

hahahahaha I do SO enjoy my f-ed up sense of humor. I'm glad others do too. I enjoy inappropriate shenanigans. (this is what my coworkers and I call it at work) I make myself laugh a lot too, when I re-read. Yes, I laugh at my own inappropriate shenanigans.

 

[Dee*Jay]

"What do you do?"

"I'm a chicken sexer"

problem solved.

"What do you do?"

"I'm a fluffer on gay **** movie sets"

problem solved.

I think the PC-brigade has been stomping around for a long while. Even back when I was in high school, I remember a huge to-do about the use of "Man" in the Bible. "God created Man" and everyone was freaking out about it. Then you couldn't say PoliceMAN, you had to say Policeperson, or Policewoman if female. No MailMAN, it is mailperson, or lettercarrier. that kinda stuff was a huge deal. If you hold a door open for a woman, you're sexist. If you don't, you're a jackass.

Everyone has to get a ribbon. Everything and everyone has to be fair and equal 117% of the time. (tho that I think is relatively new)

Imagine the conversation that follows when people don't know what a fluffer is! Ooh--that could be fun!

 

[packrat]

hahahaha my mom calls my kids fluffer-nutter sometimes and I'm just like ACK MOM don't CALL them that!

 

[Smith1942]

Um, I have no idea what a fluffer is.


....but I can hazard a vague guess.

 

[Smith1942]

I understand where Smith is coming from with this question. It can be a very status specific inquiry. Overall, I find that Americans are much more open and frank with their questions than Europeans. I didn't grow up in US but have lived in US for many years so now I'm much more used to this interview - like line of questioning. At first it used to shock me because I was raised with the understanding that personal questions were rude. One was supposed to talk about arts, current events or weather but never about work, religion, health or politics.

People make lot of assumptions made about me because of my work so I try to limit my response to that question. Btw, I used to say that I worked as an embalmer as a distraction. Conversation stopper for sure.

Yes, yes, yes. Exactly. I was brought up in a place where dinner conversation was completely inconsequential.

I do find that society is too open these days, and I find a lot of questions very nosy. Perhaps I'm just getting old!

 

[monarch64]

I don't mind being asked "what do you do?" However, I never ask it. Not for fear of offending someone, but because it's such a generic, boring question. It's like when you're in college and the first or second question someone asks is "what's your major?" I like to think that my conversation skills are a bit on the sparkling side rather than the dull. Paying someone a compliment is always a nice way to break the ice and find something to discuss.

 

[Laila619]

I do get your point, Smith. When I reply that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I definitely get some less than polite looks, or they'll write me off like I'm just some uneducated woman who sits around watching soaps all day (most definitely not!).

 

[AprilBaby]

Well, I don't like it. Sometimes it's innocent, but lots of times people are basically trying to place you on the income/class scale, so they can find out if you're "above" or "beneath" them on those scales. Lots of people are very judgemental underneath it all. Hanging out with my husband's family has taught me that - unlike my own family, they are obsessed with people's markers of power, status, etc. And that is what is often behind this question. Maybe more so in a big city environment. Or even if they're not judging you, another reason is to define you by what you do, which I think is wrong. Certain professions tend to dislike this question more than others, like doctors, who tell me that people start asking them about their ailments at parties. Anyway, I'd rather be allowed a chance to define myself in conversation with a new person rather than having my job do it for me. Because lots of people's jobs don't reflect their true selves, unique creative talents, etc. I really don't see that it matters what you do, in a social situation.

Missy - I hear you on people treating your husband's job as more important. You say it's only happened a couple of times - well, it happens all the time to me! He is a columnist on a New York newspaper so I guess his work is more visible than mine, but ever since I got married it's been Mr Smith the genius and Ms Smith the secretary, according to his family. His brother actually told me that I should be updating my husband's blog every day with his columns, as if my job is to do his admin, despite me having an advanced degree and my own career!

My husband's brother is pretty much obsessed with power, money and status, and the first thing he asks someone is what they do, so he can find out if they're worth his time or not. That's why he asks. It's people like that who make me want to reply that I'm a grave-digger.

I think the British care way more about "class" than Americans. I don't think of anyone I know as "above" or "beneath" me. I think we just ask for something to talk about. My friends and I couldn't care less about power or wealth, we just have it. We don't judge someone by their job. It is more of a problem feeling funny if I were to ask one of my patients " what do you do?" And they are a stay at home mom. I don't think they get the respect they deserve.
I just started watching Downton Abbey and I am appalled by the class distinction present in the English society. Peerage still exists and I can't understand why anyone gets honor for inheriting money. Are you "class" in England? Not to insult but many of your posts seem like you are trying to impress us with your status. Most of us really don't care. We buy for fun, not to impress.

*waiting to be hit in the head*.

 

[House Cat]

I do get your point, Smith. When I reply that I'm a stay-at-home mom, I definitely get some less than polite looks, or they'll write me off like I'm just some uneducated woman who sits around watching soaps all day (most definitely not!).

I get this.

I also get the very condescending "OH that is the HARDEST job in the world!" comment. Then the person exits as fast as they can because they seem to fear that I will have nothing to share but conversations of baby poop and Goodnight Moon! Sigh.

 

[Smith1942]

Well, I don't like it. Sometimes it's innocent, but lots of times people are basically trying to place you on the income/class scale, so they can find out if you're "above" or "beneath" them on those scales. Lots of people are very judgemental underneath it all. Hanging out with my husband's family has taught me that - unlike my own family, they are obsessed with people's markers of power, status, etc. And that is what is often behind this question. Maybe more so in a big city environment. Or even if they're not judging you, another reason is to define you by what you do, which I think is wrong. Certain professions tend to dislike this question more than others, like doctors, who tell me that people start asking them about their ailments at parties. Anyway, I'd rather be allowed a chance to define myself in conversation with a new person rather than having my job do it for me. Because lots of people's jobs don't reflect their true selves, unique creative talents, etc. I really don't see that it matters what you do, in a social situation.

Missy - I hear you on people treating your husband's job as more important. You say it's only happened a couple of times - well, it happens all the time to me! He is a columnist on a New York newspaper so I guess his work is more visible than mine, but ever since I got married it's been Mr Smith the genius and Ms Smith the secretary, according to his family. His brother actually told me that I should be updating my husband's blog every day with his columns, as if my job is to do his admin, despite me having an advanced degree and my own career!

My husband's brother is pretty much obsessed with power, money and status, and the first thing he asks someone is what they do, so he can find out if they're worth his time or not. That's why he asks. It's people like that who make me want to reply that I'm a grave-digger.

I think the British care way more about "class" than Americans. I don't think of anyone I know as "above" or "beneath" me. I think we just ask for something to talk about. My friends and I couldn't care less about power or wealth, we just have it. We don't judge someone by their job. It is more of a problem feeling funny if I were to ask one of my patients " what do you do?" And they are a stay at home mom. I don't think they get the respect they deserve.
I just started watching Downton Abbey and I am appalled by the class distinction present in the English society. Peerage still exists and I can't understand why anyone gets honor for inheriting money. Are you "class" in England? Not to insult but many of your posts seem like you are trying to impress us with your status. Most of us really don't care. We buy for fun, not to impress.

*waiting to be hit in the head*.

You do realise that the Downton era was a long time ago, and there came a time when the aristocracy was taxed at 90% and had most of their land/art/whatever taken away? But yes, the UK has been described as pretty much a caste system. It's a deeply snobbish society, that is certainly true. I think everyone acknowledges that. As for the aristocracy/royalty - really, don't set me off! I don't agree with it.

I am sorry you feel I'm trying to impress and that I buy jewellery to impress. I've got zero interest in defending myself. To each their own opinion!

 

[Smith1942]

Aprilbaby - you're welcome to come round to my house for a cup of tea and discuss this. Bring your jodhs and we'll saddle up. I'll lend you some if you don't have ponies of your own. Just ask the way to Smith at Smith House.

 

[Smith1942]

Good Lord, what are those plebs doing on my bridge? I've only just noticed that. Bahhhhh!

 

[Circe]

As for me ... no, I don't mind it. Like a few ladies above, I very much mind it when people ask my husband's occupation and politely skate over my own! It does smell slightly of the soft bigotry of low expectations.

I will say, back when I'd initially quit my tenure-track job, I did hate the question, because I felt like I had to justify my decision to every Tom, Dick, and Harry - it wasn't until I got comfortable with my choices myself that it got fun explaining what I do again!

And I'll also say ... a few weeks ago I was talking to my husband about boring people. Dunno what the context was - probably a boring party where almost everyone shared a profession and therefore, that was all they talked about. Generally, he's death on that sort of thing: one of his ex's was a doctor, and he loathed all of her colleagues SO MUCH because they would never ask anybody who wasn't a fellow doctor a damned thing about themselves. So my attempt to play Devil's Advocate was, well, maybe they just really loved what they did ...? (I don't think that's an actual excuse: I just like to debate.) So, his response was, in Sweden, picking the right profession is possibly the most important decision you ever make: it defines Who You Are. Even now that he's a consultant, he still thinks of himself as an engineer. In America, I feel like it's less WHAT you do, and more how much it pays. Kind of like how in England, class trumps cash? In America, I feel like cash is the royal flush. So if you say you're a venture capitalist .....

P.S. - Though political correctness can sometimes go too far, under specific circumstances, I don't think any of the laughable examples raised in this thread are actually all that laughable. Sure, I'm a Christmas-tree owning Jew (it's blue and silver! it's a Chanukah bush!) who's currently involved in a debate about whether we're having somebody dressed as Santa come over (it's a Swedish tradition, and, ahahahaha, nope, too jewish ... though I'm TOTALLY willing to uphold Swedish Holiday Spirit by having the Yule Goat pay us a visit), but I do know other jews/atheists/pagans/non-christian whatevers who feel really, really, really strongly that it's weird for a culture that claims to separate church and state to push a specific holiday this hard. "Happy holidays" or whatever doesn't kill anybody, and with strangers, might make them feel better. I think that's the goal of all the PC trappings. I am not going to duel to the death for my right to be a jerk, y'know?

 

[dk168]

I never have any issues with peeps asking me what I do for a living, even if I have just met them.

However, the moment they ask me how much I earn, I would distance myself from them.

DK