The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[monkeyprincess]

Random, that's exactly it. It's sucks and it's unfair, but you get absolutely nowhere dwelling on it, although I can't help but do just that every time AF arrives!

JGator, glad your tubes are open, and I'm really hoping the lack of dye thing turns out to be a non-issue or at least resolved easily. When we discussed the Counsyl test, I was told I would have it first and wait for results and DH would only need it if I came up as a carrier for something. Is that what you were told? Or are you both just getting it done? We still haven't done the test, but I will probably ask about it again when I go in next week. DH seems to think that if we are going to do IVF, we might as well go all out and do the genetic testing and test the embryos as well. Do you (or does anyone else) know whether there is a downside to testing the embryos? Does it potentially put healthy embryos at risk? As far as the plan for me, I will be starting birth control on CD3 (today) and take that for three weeks. I have my saline-HSG next Tuesday, and they'll answer our questions and give us a medication list and calendar at that time. On the phone yesterday, the nurse said I would likely be looking at a late July retrieval if all goes as planned.

LV, thinking of you, and hope you are holding up okay during the wait.

SB, hope things are going well with you as well!

Hi to anyone else!

 

[JGator]

Hi, MP. Great news - you have a schedule - late July will be here soon! The nurse just called and said the RE wants me to have the saline sonogram based on the results of the HSG. So, it needs to happen between cd 5 and cd 10. Cd 9 is tomorrow, and they don't do them on weekends. The office is closed now so I need to call at 7am tomorrow to see if they can squeeze me in at one of their locations- otherwise, i have to wait til next month. They didn't say only one of us should take the genetic test, but it makes sense because you both have to be carriers for there to be a potential issue so if you aren't a carrier for anything - there will be no concerns or reason to check your DH. The Counsyl test takes 2-3 weeks though so I don't want to add any time to our process if I can avoid it. On the PGS/CCS genetic testing, I think when they do the 5-day testing there is less risk to the embryos, but they are taking a biopsy so there could be damage caused by the testing, and it's expensive like 4 or 5K to biopsy at your lab and then send it out for testing someplace else. I think they usually freeze the embryos like LV mentioned because you have to wait a couple weeks for the results to come back. I would see what your RE thinks for your particular case.

 

[JGator]

Update: I got in a for a saline ultrasound today. After the office told me they had no appointments, I emailed the doctor and they called back 5 mins later with a "cancelation". They said it's a small polyp, and the RE wants to remove it after my next cycle starts. So, I have to call when the next cycle starts and start birth control pills and then have it removed, and it will delay the treatment, but hopefully not too much - I guess due to the BCP. The doctor doesn't seem worried, but said if I do get pregnant, the embryo could try to implant where the polyp is so that is why it should be removed. More fun stuff ahead! I also scheduled our followup consult to find out our treatement plan on July 10. My DH is going in Tuesday for the SA and the Counsyl blood draw.

 

[monkeyprincess]

JGator, I'm glad they were able to get you in today, but I'm sorry they found a polyp. Hopefully, it will not delay you too long, and at least you know about it now and it won't interfere with implantation when you move forward. Now I'm curious if they are going to find anything on me. I just assumed it was a formality and another item to check of the list, but I guess you never know.

Last night, I started to get cold feet about moving forward. I guess I'm mainly just frustrated about having to take birth control and that I started it without first talking in depth about the IVF process with my RE. If for some reason we decided not to go forward, then I guess I'll just stop the birth control and it will be no harm, no foul. My biggest worry is that I'll find out my eggs are too crappy to make a baby, but I guess I'd rather know that than to always have to wonder. DH thinks we should be open to giving IVF two tries. I'm not sure I have that in me though or that I'm comfortable spending that much money on what is essentially a gamble. I'm just hoping that if IVF doesn't work, I'll finally be able to move forward and decide whether we can be content with our family of three or whether we will look into adoption.

 

[JGator]

MP, I forgot to tell you I have a feeling that you are going to get preggo with twins from IVF. And, then you will feel complete with the family you always wanted. I just feel it. You need to do what you feel comfortable with, and I think it's really just the fear of failing with IVF that is holding you back. Remember you have age on your side so I'm sure your eggs are just fine. You should definitely have a good, long conversation with the RE before doing anything else. And, you can always stop the BCP at anytime. I'm hoping to give IVF two tries, and if it doesn't work, I am beyond happy with our little girl. I would like to give her a baby brother or sister, but that may not be in our cards. Keep the faith, MP!

PS - if you had no issues with the HSG, I doubt they will find anything new with the saline sonogram.

 

[random_thought]

JGator- I have to have a polyp removed from my uterus as well this coming month so we're in the same boat. I don't know how accurate this is (I think my RE likes to overexagerate sometimes lol) but I was told that if you get pregnant with a polyp in your uterus that there is a 70% chance of miscarriage as well. I figure it's better to just get rid of it then take that chance *shrugs*

 

[choro72]

LV, How are you? I'm so sorry for your lost embryos. I hope you get some news soon.

mp, sorry about BFN and AF. I completely understand your reservation about IVF.

JGator, My friend told me that she had a polyp in her uterus with her second daughter. I didn't catch why she didn't have it removed since they were trying for 6 months. She went through a really tough time and didn't tell me about her pregnancy until 20 weeks. Her daughter somehow implanted near the polyp and there was a big chance that my friend was going to miscarry. Now she is blessed with two very healthy girls, but I would assume that removing it is a much smoother pregnancy process.

RT, I feel your pain. My friend who started ttc for #2 the same time I did, is due next month. She is so sweet and supportive of me, but it's hard.

AFM, Thank you all for your support. It's been almost three weeks, and I've been lightly bleeding non stop. My hormones are going down and I'm enjoying meat again.
I had a follow up ultrasound yesterday, and I need another d&c. I don't know how you botch a d&c, but here it is. My uterus is full of fluid and my walls are super thick. I'm leaving for Japan next Tuesday, so ob wanted me to have the d&c on Monday. If I do that, I can't get to enjoy the hot springs in Japan, so she said I can do the d&c when I get back. If I need an emergency d&c in Japan, I need to suck up the cost because I don't have health insurance there anymore. I almost wish I can go through this awake so that I can confirm that she checks her work before finishing up.

 

[lliang_chi]

MP, I'm glad you have a schedule, and I can see why you're having reservations with IVF. I think it's completely normal. I think having a in depth conversation with your RE about this could be helpful to just talk things out.

JGator, Sorry to hear about the polyp and the delay. But it seems like safe decision to remove all risk factors possible. Hoping it'll be over quickly and you can move ahead with your plans.

RT, How are you feeling? Hope you get a date scheduled for your surgery soon.

Choro, OMG m'dear, I am so mad for you! How do you mess up like that?!? Ergh! WTF, is there anyway for your doc to have an immediate follow up? Or heck get a different doctor? I hope you enjoy yourself in Japan. Did she explain to you why you wouldn't be able to do the baths?

 

[monkeyprincess]

Choro, I'm so frustrated for you. It's bad enough that you had a miscarriage, but to still be dealing with it after all of this time and a D&C is just too much. So sorry. I hope you figure out a good solution, so you can put this behind you and still enjoy your trip to the fullest. I hope the trip at least allows you take your mind off this for awhile, although I know that's easier said than done.

JGator, I have thought about the possibilty that IVF would give me a better shot of having more than one baby in the future, although I'd much prefer to do them one at a time to avoid a higher risk pregnancy. But I just don't even want to let myself go there, as I fear it's just going to cause further disappointment if it doesn't work out that way. I have the sono. tomorrow, and am hoping talking to the RE will give me a little more comfort about moving forward. Otherwise, we might take a break and regroup.

LC, thanks as always for the support. I hope things are going well with you, and I'm so hopeful you will have a happy ending this time.

Thinking of everyone else!

 

[JGator]

MP, I totally get it. I hope your convo goes well tomorrow with the RE. Keep us posted.

Choro, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I hope everything worked out. Let us know what you ended up doing. I wish you safe and healthy travel to Japan.

RT, we're polyp buddies. Good luck with your removal. AF will be due for me around July 16th so I should know more then about a schedule for the surgery. My inlaws are coming for another visit on 7/15, and I do not want them knowing anything about this so it should be interesting....

 

[JGator]

My AMH is .48. Feeling sad - the nurse said it's slightly low, but that seems very low. I need to take Vitamin D also as I'm slightly low there too. But, I'm more worried about the AMH now.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Hugs, JGator. I wish I had a better understanding of AMH, and what it actually means in terms of fertility. Everything I see is so conflicting. But I have to think that your AMH is not that unexpected based on your age, right? I have seen people posting with much lower levels seeking treatment, so I'm hopeful this is not dire news for you. Hang in there!

 

[Loves Vintage]

JGator - Please keep in mind that AMH is just a number. Each individual is different. And, like MP said, what that number reflects is really unclear. Will you have a consult with your RE soon?

MP - Sorry to hear about the cold feet. I totally get it, and have been there many times. I have no idea what is up with these REs and their protocols. I don't think they vary so much that we shouldn't be able to at least get a heads up about what is to come. They cut it very close and ordering these meds is not always an easy process. I had a near breakdown last time I had to order my meds because they cut it so close. I had no idea that my last cycle was to start so soon. Keep on keeping on and if you determine things are moving too fast, then there is nothing wrong with taking a cycle off.

Choro - I am so so so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I seem to recall that something similar happened to Bliss years ago, and she posted about it in one of the threads on here. I am not sure if it was exactly the same thing, but I recall that she had to go back a second time. I really hope your travel plans are not affected.

RT - I never go on FB and am very happy for that!! Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

*******************
AFM, I did receive the news from the CCS testing, and I have been struggling a bit with the outcome, which was very positive. I don't want to go into more detail than that, right now. Sorry for being so ambiguous. (I wish I could talk to you ladies off-forum.) Before I found out the results, I decided to take a break and delay transfer by one month. I am going through a very stressful time at work and felt like it was not the best idea to go forward this month. I may actually take a week vacation for after the transfer next cycle. It is summer after all . . .

 

[royalasscherlover]

LV, I'm sorry that you are struggling. I think taking time off until you are in a better place is a good plan.

jgator, I hope the polyp surgery goes well and you can have a conversation with your RE about the AMH. Fingers crossed that neither is a big deal.

mp, I hope you get a chance to have a good talk with your RE tomorrow and gain some comfort in moving forward. If not, there's no downside in taking a break for a couple months. One thing that always seems to be true in this journey is that your feelings change over time! For me, I ultimately felt like I needed to do IVF to know that I had done everything I could to have a biological child. If it doesn't work, I hope that will give me the ability to move on knowing that I exhausted all the possibilities. Hugs - it is not an easy decision to make.

choro, I'm so, so sorry that you need another d&c - how unfair and awful to have to prolong this terrible process. I hope you can settle this all soon.

rt, I stopped going on FB six months ago because all the pregnancy announcements were making me crazy. We heard this weekend that my DH's cousin is pregnant with their third kid, after not really trying, just not preventing for a few months - they were undecided about wanting a third so decided to see what would happen Seriously? I'm here shooting myself up with drugs for over a year just to have one. Ugh. I do not understand the order of the universe sometimes.

afm, we've been traveling the past couple of weeks for various family events. I did get asked twice when we plan to have kids and managed to give a vague, deflective answer - people just don't realize how hurtful that question is. My ovaries looked normal at my u/s last week, so I started Lupron shots and will have bloodwork later this week to make sure things are still on track.

 

[JGator]

MP, good luck today at your appt. Hope all goes well, and you get the answers to your questions from the RE.

LV, I'm glad you have positive news about your embies. I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best. Good luck with your work stress also.

SB, I'm sorry people are so rude and have been asking you about kids. Good luck with the blood work and Lupron shots this week. Since you are doing the Lupron shots, does that mean a FET is in the works?

AFU, DH got his Counsyl test and SA today. We have a follow up scheduled for July 10 which is next Thursday. I guess we'll learn when they can schedule the polyp removal and what the doc thinks of all my lab work. I was concerned about the AMH when I looked at a table showing <.50 being the worst possible scenario, but I looked again later and I believe it was for people under 35 so it's not as dire as I thought for my age. And, I don't know what I expected, I guess I was hoping to beat the odds with a good number even though I'm OLD!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I am sorry things are stressful right now and you are feeling the need for a break, BUT I'm thrilled you received positive news! That's so exciting, and I'm very hopeful this will mean good news is finally on the way. Take care of yourself, and I think it makes sense to wait until a less stressful time to go ahead with the FET.

JGator, I totally get it. I was SO devastated when I found out my AMH was low for my age. I'm generally in pretty good health and feel like I look young for my age. My AMH made me feel like I failed a test or something, and I'm not used to that. But there's not anything we can do about the numbers and age and genetics. I'm hopeful your doctor will have a plan for you to maximize your potential and find a solution that works best for you.

SB, I think my thoughts are pretty in line with yours regarding IVF. I don't want to always wonder if it would work, and I can't let my fear of failure or disappointment stop me. I'm hoping everything is on track for you to go ahead with the FET soon. I will keep everything I have crossed for you! And people just don't get it. I think unless you've been through it yourself, you just don't even consider what seemingly innocent questions can do to someone struggling with infertility. I'm getting some of those questions too lately, and it really stings. I'm hoping you will be able to share good news next time you get in that position.

AFM, the sono went just fine this morning, so that's good I guess. My RE let us sit down for 15 minutes in her office to ask questions, and I do feel better about going forward. I still feel conflicted, but I just know it is something I have to do. She gave me about a 45-50% chance of success. In the end, that really doesn't mean anything, but it beats the 20% odds I have if we continue IUIs (and at this point, I am thinking it's probably really less likely than 20%). I'm just hoping we end up with a few embryos to transfer after all of this, but if not, at least I will know for sure that we gave it our best shot.

 

[Loves Vintage]

I will post more later, but has just typed up my protocols as I indicated I would previously, for MP. Overall, despite the differences in protocols, it appears the end result was about the same for me with each cycle.

IVF #1
Follistim – 225
Menopur – 75
Estrace - .5 mg
Ganirelix – started 4 days after stims; taken in conjunction with stims
Retrieval was approximately 2 weeks after stims started.
10 eggs retrieved; 8 fertilized by ICSI; 4 on day 5 (one of which was an early blast). One transferred; bfn.

IVF #2 (Letrozole/Microdose Flare)
Letrozole (2) 2.5 mg for first five days
Microdose Lupon 20 units – started second day of stims
Follistim – 375 – started on third day of stims
Menopur – 75 – started on third day of stims
Dexamethasone .5 mg - started on third day of stims
Retrieval was approximately 2 weeks after stims started.
21 eggs retrieved; 10 mature; 7 fertilized by ICSI; 3 blasts on days 5-6.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Thanks for the info, LV. It's interesting that you ended up with similar numbers as far as mature eggs and fertilization. But it also sounds like your second "crop" yielded higher quality embyros. Man, I wish all of this wasn't so trial and error. It sounds like if all goes as expected with my baseline blood work and ultrasound, I'd be starting on 300 Gonal-F and also taking Ganirelix in a few weeks, which is similar to your first protocol. She kept repeating to me that because they've only tried to mildly stimulate me in the past due to the selective reduction issue, there's just no way of knowing how I'll respond to heavy stimulation.

One thing that was interesting, and different from your experience, was that she wasn't very supportive of genetic testing for the embryos (unless we do the Counsyl testing and both come back as carriers for a fatal/serious condition). She thought the risk to the embryo would outweigh the benefit in our situation. DH and I need to decide in the next few days if we'll do the Counsyl testing. It's only $200 if we both do it, but apparently there is only a 1% chance we'd come back as carriers for the same thing, and even then, only a 25% chance the child would have the disease. Since most people procreate without worrying about these things, I kind of feel like it's all overkill, but m aybe it makes sense. I just don't know what to think anymore!

One other thing I'm curious about is what others have been recommended regarding whether to transfer one or two. This is all up in the air for me obviously because I have no idea if I'll even have one, let alone two or more, healthy embryos out of this. But if I do have more than one, it sounds like she would suggest transferring two. I'm really only hoping for one baby, but I think we could handle twins if we were lucky enough to have two embryos take. One step at a time I guess.

 

[choro72]

lc, I wouldn't be able to go in the hotspring because I can't insert anything in my vagina, or take a bath/swim for 10 days after the surgery.

JGator, Sorry you're feeling down about your AMH. Hang in there!

LV, Thanks for the info about Bliss. If I remember correctly she has a child right? It's comforting to know that it most likely won't affect my chances after this. Hope you get a good relaxing vacation.

mp, when do you start? Crossing my fingers for a successful IVF! I would probably transfer two if I were doing it, but probably freak out if it happens. Also would probably not do Counsyl. I couldn't handle that stress.

Thanks everyone for your support. I truly appreciate it.

 

[JGator]

MP, check out the chart on page 3 to get an idea of how many embryos transferred vs. how many implanted by age for a small IVF study. http://thinkingdavis.com/review/NFFR-CMS/Downloads/Schoolcraft-et-al_Clinical-App-CCS-Blast-Stage.pdf This also included genetic testing and included people who had failed IVFs and/or miscarriages previously. I would go with 2 if you are okay with twins. But, i realize there are significant risks associated with being pregnant with twins, and I do not know what I would do in that situation. I would get the RE's input and advice on odds for both sticking also.

Choro, hope all is well. Did you defer the D&C for your trip?

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - I've seen lots of references to European countries that advocate (maybe require?) single embryo transfers. That does not seem to be the norm here, however. My first RE suggested transferring two. We elected to transfer only one. Did your RE talk a lot about the chromosomal testing, or the type of testing she would do, or the day of development on which they would test? My understanding of CCS testing is that there is very infrequently harm to the embryo, but I am not an expert at this!

Choro - Yes, I think Bliss has two little ones by now. I recall she announced a while back that she was expecting another. I did try to find that reference for you (after I saw your post this afternoon) and wasn't able to find it yet.

 

[monkeyprincess]

JGator, thanks I'll check that out. So much of this is up in the air, and it will obviously depend on my response and the quality and number of embryos. She just mentioned that given my numbers and history, she would likely recommend transferring two unless I had strong feelings about transferring one. Hopefully, I will have more information and clarity when the time comes, if I even have theoption.

LV, yes I've read a ton of studies about the pros and cons of 1 versus 2. There are very strong feelings on both sides. Since I'm 33, if I had average AMH and FSH for someone my age, she would recommend only 1. But since I have numbers more similar to a 37-39 year old, she thinks I will have a 10-15% higher chance of getting pregnant at all if I transfer two. However, depending on the quality and number of embryos, her recommendation may change. The last thing I want to do is have a high risk pregnancy though, so it's not a decision I will take lightly! As far as the testing, her reasoning was that if there was an indication that genetic testing was appropriate, she would recommend it, but since I do not have a prior IVF failure/loss or history of miscarriage, she thinks the science wouldn't support genetic testing. In her opinion, she prefers not to "stick a needle in an embryo" unless there is a strong indication to do so. I hear what you're saying though because it does seem like a lot of places recommend it. I just don't know if I can justify the extra $5,000 to test the embryos unless my doctor felt strongly that we should.

Thinking of everyone and hoping you are all doing well!

AFM, I just found out my sister is on the way to the hospital after having her water start to break last night. Her baby is due in about 12 days, so it's a little early, but not too early. I'm excited because we were already planning to head there tomorrow for the long weekend, and I wasn't sure when we'd get back to meet the baby. I have to admit it will be bittersweet for me, although I'm obviously very happy for her and excited to welcome a new baby into the family.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - When do you start stims? That nearly 40 weeks went by FAST for your sister! It seems like only yesterday that you mentioned her here!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I know, right? Pregnancies tend to go much faster when you're not experiencing them I won't start stims until after I finish BCP, and I have two more weeks to go on those, which reminds me I need to put a call in to talk to a nurse about what meds I need and exactly what happens once I finish the BCP. They gave me a calendar, but it was all kind of vague. Hope you are doing well and are able to get in some relaxing between now and your FET cycle.

 

[random_thought]

Sorry I haven't been around. The dexamethasone has been really really messing up my hormones and I feel like I'm just a walking time bomb. AF is due tomorrow, today is CD29. I don't think dex and pms match very well but hopefully this means we can go ahead and get the surgery scheduled.

Also feeling mopey because my 30th birthday is on Sunday and we have no money at all to do anything special

 

[Loves Vintage]

RT - Oh no! What dose of the dexamethasone are you on? So many side effects!

I am sure you will have a fabulous birthday regardless of where you go or what you do! Is it very warm where you are? Maybe a nice birthday picnic somewhere lovely outdoors with your DH and your son is in order! An early Happy Birthday to you!!

MP - I am traveling soon, which is part of my stress. I should probably ask this in the other thread, but this is the first time I will be away from my daughter. I know you have traveled a lot recently. How has that gone with your son?

 

[random_thought]

LV- I had thought of a picnic but unfortunately running after a toddler while trying to eat isn't my idea of a good time lol. I'm on a fairly low dose of dex but combined with pms it just feels like everything is so awful, I've been sitting at my desk trying not to cry all morning over the stupidest things. Sigh, I just want to be pregnant and be done with all this

 

[monkeyprincess]

Happy early birthday, Random. I hope your DH and son find ways to spoil you that don't involve a lot of money. Take it easy on yourself. This too shall pass, and hopefully, you will have a different reason to celebrate sometime soon.

LV, hugs. It's not easy, especially the first time being away. I still get a little teary-eyed every time I say goodbye to my son before leaving for a work trip. The first time I had to go out of town he was only 7 months old, so he's somewhat used to it and I don't think he's too upset when I'm gone for a night or two. Plus, DH is a super involved daddy, so that makes it a much easier transition than it otherwise would be. A lot of the hardship falls on DH unfortunately because I'm normally the one who gets Ev up and ready to go in the mornings, and DH doesn't get a break in the evenings until Ev goes to bed. I try to help by laying out clothes or things he'll need for daycare or making sure the house is in good order and dishes and laundry done before I leave. One thing that helps me is Skyping with them when I get a chance in the evening or morning (but sometimes the time changes make that difficult). And it's pretty sweet when I see him for the first time when I get back. He gets so excited, and I get a lot of extra cuddles and attention for awhile. In the end, I think it might actually be good for them to get to spend some one on one time once in awhile.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks for the advice, MP. We definitely have to work on skype. I should have planned a shorter trip for my first trip away, but I really wanted to get this done BEFORE I get pregnant. And, then it all just became too much, so I decided to take the cycle off, which is for the best. I am sure they will both be fine. My DH, like yours, can and does do whatever needs to be done, though it is tough to do it all. I will pick out her outfits in advance -- that is a good idea! And, I am sure DH will find that helpful. Overall, I am sure the trip will be harder for me than for anyone else. I recognize that is my choice though, and will try to focus on making this a positive journey for me.

 

[random_thought]

I second the skyping! A lot of times I go to visit my parents 13 hours away but because we work different work schedules DH can't always come with (and his company is scrooges with vaca ). Anyways, we skype him every night we are away and I think it helps C a lot

AFM, AF is showing today. Which I'm actually excited about because it means we can schedule the surgery! Movin' forward!