Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative

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Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Matata » January 29th, 2011, 6:48 pm
I turned 56 today and sure enough, found more wrinkles & saggy places. Oh well. Tonight we're eating at a snooty French restaurant so I can literally drown my sags & wrinkles in fine food, wine & dessert. Escargot with tons of butter & garleeeeeek for the appetizer. Yummmm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To say nothing, to do nothing, stops nothing.

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by soocool » February 3rd, 2011, 3:08 pm
Written by Matata » January 29th, 2011, 6:48 pm:I turned 56 today and sure enough, found more wrinkles & saggy places. Oh well. Tonight we're eating at a snooty French restaurant so I can literally drown my sags & wrinkles in fine food, wine & dessert. Escargot with tons of butter & garleeeeeek for the appetizer. Yummmm.


Matata, Happy belated birthday. Hope you wined and dined the evening away in celebration! I sometimes wish we can get a second chance at being young again so the second time we would appreciate it more.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by soocool » February 3rd, 2011, 3:16 pm
OK, so I bought my new vac last Saturday. It's the Miele Polaris. I would have posted this in HO, but I already had asked the questioned there when I was looking and the youngsters on there may think this old chick just fell off her rocker talking about vacuum cleaners again.

But when you get older it is the simple pleasures that make you happy. And carrying this vac without wrenching my back makes me sooo very happy. I vacuumed practically the entire house today, used it to dust the furniture, cleaned out the heating vents ( including the returns), lampshades, picture frames, electronics, keyboards, drapes, doors. Then I had lunch and took a nap. See right there I had my aerobic workout for the day. Yes, I am so pleased with myself.

Not too much else to do when the weather sucks. Can't find anyone to go shopping with me. Everyone is playing catchup with errands and housecleaning because of all this horrible weather we have been getting.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by junebug17 » February 4th, 2011, 11:31 am
Matata, happy belated birthday to you! Hope you had a wonderful time drowning your sorrows in good food and drink!

Socool, your new vacuum sounds awesome. Anything that makes cleaning a little more tolerable is a treasure.

I supposed I'm hanging in there...my dog died a month ago, (had to put him down due to cancer) and honestly, I'm still struggling with it. I cant seem to get over it. I miss him so much. I have a short video of him on my phone and I watch it every day. I hold the phone up close to my face so I can capture every detail of him. Part of me feels so silly about this. The rational part of me says "Ok Junebug, get a grip here, he was just a dog, time to get over this" but emotionally I just can't do it. I still expect to see him sauntering into the room. He was with me all the time. He was just always here.

Ugh, I feel so dumb about this, so many people are struggling with so much more, but it still feels kind of good to let it out. Thanks for letting me do that.

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”  Theodore, (Her)

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by gemgirl » February 15th, 2011, 4:49 pm
You can always let it out here junebug. Don't feel silly about looking at a video of your dog while you're grieving. You need time to adjust to the loss and it doesn't happen over night. I'm so sorry you've lost your furbaby.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by junebug17 » February 16th, 2011, 9:52 pm
Written by gemgirl » February 15th, 2011, 4:49 pm:You can always let it out here junebug. Don't feel silly about looking at a video of your dog while you're grieving. You need time to adjust to the loss and it doesn't happen over night. I'm so sorry you've lost your furbaby.


Ah, thank you so much gemgirl - I appreciate you taking the time to offer such comforting words to me. It helps.

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”  Theodore, (Her)

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 18th, 2011, 7:20 pm
Well, I AM actually a pretty private person, but in here (where I suspect very few come, although I could be wrong) I will tell you all, it has been a bit of week, to say the least.

My father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last night. They think from a blood clot, because he was in no imminent danger, so the doctors thought. (He was in the hospital for heart arrhythmia and some intestinal problems, which appeared to be getting under control and on the mend, when he just...died.

My relationship with my father was strained and I really WON'T go into that here, but still, I did not hate him and this has been a shock. Death is SO utterly final, and I have been attending/invited to entirely too many funerals lately.

My concentration is pretty shot....

Just thought I'd tell you guys, since you are more likely to understand than most.

Hubs has been great, as usual. What would I do without my beautiful man? I don't even want to think about that.

OH...ETA...sorry for not checking in for awhile. I just felt avoid-y for some reason. And yet here I come looking for company. Bad me. :nono:

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by HollyS » February 18th, 2011, 8:50 pm
Karen, I'm so very sorry about your dad. My own father passed away in August, and it was a sudden shock as well. My heart goes out to you.

I wish you didn't believe that death is so very final; but I won't foist my beliefs on you. I hope you won't mind if I keep you in my prayers anyway.
_____________________________


"I cannot live without books." - Thomas Jefferson
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by junebug17 » February 18th, 2011, 8:58 pm
Oh Karen, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I lost mine 18 years ago, and even though we weren't that close, it was still very sad. He was still my father, after all. So I can empathize with how you feel, just a little. I really am sorry, you must be shocked since this occurred so suddenly. You will be in my thoughts. Please check in whenever you need a little moral support. Please take care of yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. It is so difficult and life-altering to lose a parent, even if the relationship wasn't perfect. Sending hugs your way.

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”  Theodore, (Her)

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 18th, 2011, 9:59 pm
Written by HollyS » February 18th, 2011, 8:50 pm:Karen, I'm so very sorry about your dad. My own father passed away in August, and it was a sudden shock as well. My heart goes out to you.

I wish you didn't believe that death is so very final; but I won't foist my beliefs on you. I hope you won't mind if I keep you in my prayers anyway.


Thanks Holly. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

I don't know if death is final or not, but it is certainly final from the perspective of any more chances for interactions in this life, that's for certain. I know that there are others in the family grieving far more than I, and I envy them that grief, in a way. I was not privvy to the best of my father. I'm glad someone was though, and that he will be properly mourned. My grief over our relationship is very old. In some ways I did the grieving of a sort of death years ago, if that makes any sense. Still I can't help but think this is going to be an upleasant funeral. Snort. Like any funeral is fun.

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 18th, 2011, 10:06 pm
Written by junebug17 » February 18th, 2011, 8:58 pm:Oh Karen, I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. I lost mine 18 years ago, and even though we weren't that close, it was still very sad. He was still my father, after all. So I can empathize with how you feel, just a little. I really am sorry, you must be shocked since this occurred so suddenly. You will be in my thoughts. Please check in whenever you need a little moral support. Please take care of yourself, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. It is so difficult and life-altering to lose a parent, even if the relationship wasn't perfect. Sending hugs your way.


Thanks Junebug. Yes, you do know - it's all very complicated isn't it, when the relationship hasn't been all that good. Talking about it much just isn't possible, because you hardly know what you feel, let alone how to discuss it.

I've pretty much decided that death sucks. :-\

Don't worry though, I'm taking care of me, and today I had the distraction of taking care of my husband, who had oodles of dental work done under a general. It was nice fussing over him - took my mind off it for a bit. That and posting over in Hangout. A distraction from my own jangled thoughts. Sort of. I probably just need a good stiff drink. LOL!

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Skippy » February 18th, 2011, 10:46 pm
Ksinger, I hope it is okay that I pop in here but I wanted to sending you a giant heartfelt hug and let you know I am so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.
Skippy




http://www.pricescope.com/idealbb/files/1896249wrr738gi7w.gif

"The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it, and the faith to believe it's possible" Rich Devos
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Gayletmom » February 19th, 2011, 9:34 am
Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.
Gayle
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Matata » February 19th, 2011, 11:36 am
Hugs to you Karen and condolences on your loss. Oft times we mourn what should/could have been rather than what was, and we may regret what was and wasn't said. If you have unresolved issues with your father, I hope you find a way to achieve closure and peace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To say nothing, to do nothing, stops nothing.

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 19th, 2011, 12:08 pm
Written by Gayletmom » February 19th, 2011, 9:34 am:Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.


Thanks to all of you, Skippy, Gayle, and Matata. I appreciate the sympathy. I have no issues remaining, but this thing is starting to play out a bit unpleasantly already. God, but family stuff can be so underhanded and petty. When family is good, it's great, but when it isn't ....yowza.

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by soocool » February 20th, 2011, 9:13 am
Written by ksinger » February 19th, 2011, 12:08 pm:
Written by Gayletmom » February 19th, 2011, 9:34 am:Oh, Ksinger, I am so very, very sorry. It is so very complicated when you loose someone with whom you've had a "tricky" relationship. In some ways, the mourning is harder. I'm glad that you are taking care of yourself and that you have your wonderful DH. Hang in there and know that we are "with" you.


Thanks to all of you, Skippy, Gayle, and Matata. I appreciate the sympathy. I have no issues remaining, but this thing is starting to play out a bit unpleasantly already. God, but family stuff can be so underhanded and petty. When family is good, it's great, but when it isn't ....yowza.


Ksinger, hugs to you and condolences on your loss. Yes, I too hate the pettiness of family sometimes (DH's family not mine). Stay strong and always remember you have your support group right here!

(I need to visit here more often)
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by soocool » February 20th, 2011, 9:23 am
It is exactly one year ago today that I landed in the ER with a heart rate in the 30s and 3 days later got my bionic buddy implanted into my chest. I am surprisingly fine today, but in the last month I have been weepy and scared that if I close my eyes I would not wake up again.

A week before all this happened a friend from grade school passed away from congestive heart failure. He was 53. I have been thinking a lot about him lately. I knew him since I was 6 years old. He was in every single class with me through 8th grade. He was the awkward kid, the one the other guys always picked on. He grew up without a father (his father died in his 30s from heart disease) and his was considered a "mama's boy". But he never got mad at the kids who picked on him. He still considered everyone his friend. Funny thing is that all these people who picked on him in his youth became his very close friend in later years. He even came to my wedding with his mom. He did later marry and had a son, who is now about 14 years old. At his funeral and wake they could not fit everyone into the room. He was so loved...I still think about him...
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 20th, 2011, 11:48 am
Written by soocool » February 20th, 2011, 9:23 am:It is exactly one year ago today that I landed in the ER with a heart rate in the 30s and 3 days later got my bionic buddy implanted into my chest. I am surprisingly fine today, but in the last month I have been weepy and scared that if I close my eyes I would not wake up again.

A week before all this happened a friend from grade school passed away from congestive heart failure. He was 53. I have been thinking a lot about him lately. I knew him since I was 6 years old. He was in every single class with me through 8th grade. He was the awkward kid, the one the other guys always picked on. He grew up without a father (his father died in his 30s from heart disease) and his was considered a "mama's boy". But he never got mad at the kids who picked on him. He still considered everyone his friend. Funny thing is that all these people who picked on him in his youth became his very close friend in later years. He even came to my wedding with his mom. He did later marry and had a son, who is now about 14 years old. At his funeral and wake they could not fit everyone into the room. He was so loved...I still think about him...


Isn't it amazing how adversity shapes us? How some people get meaner and others just become more compassionate and have even more empathy. It must be very hard to lose such a gentle soul...

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by risingsun » February 20th, 2011, 10:54 pm
I'm so sorry for your loss, Karen. I have had a number of losses, myself, this past year. It's a difficult and painful process. My sincere condolences.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Kaleigh » February 20th, 2011, 11:49 pm
Karen,
Just reading this now. I am so very sorry for your loss. I send you prayers of comfort and strength as you deal with this going forward. And if I may, I'd like to give you a hug too.... ::)
Piece of cake and a candle *** NG gift***
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 21st, 2011, 6:01 am
Thanks you guys, everyone is so kind. I feel very blessed to find such a lovely group of online friends.

This has just been a sad year for so many people - for my immediate friends, my online friends, me. I keep wondering if things will settle a bit.

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by lulu » February 22nd, 2011, 8:13 pm
So sorry for your loss, Ksinger.
lulu
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by gemgirl » February 24th, 2011, 3:33 pm
Oh Karen, I am so sorry honey. I haven't been on PS all that much lately and I'm just catching up with things. I hope you are really OK, although I think *really* OK will take some time. Ahh, I hate bad news. Be good to yourself K.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by gemgirl » February 24th, 2011, 3:39 pm
I did not want to post this in Karen's thread, but I've recently known what it feels like to lose someone unexpectedly. My aunt, my mother's sister and really my closest relative died suddenly, and because my sister disowned me years ago for getting married (long really stupid selfish story), I wasn't told about my aunt's passing because my sister wanted to go to the wake and funeral with my cousins. I just happened to find out three weeks after she passed when I stopped into the nursing home to see her on my way home from a doctor's appointment. To say I was shocked would be a bitter understatement. I felt absolutely sickened by her passing and the entire situation for days afterwards. I still haven't made my peace with it yet. It stinks! I wish everyone would treat others the way that they'd like to be treated themselves. Maybe then these selfish behaviors wouldn't happen.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Gayletmom » February 24th, 2011, 4:19 pm
I'm so sorry, Gemgirl. What a terrible tragedy to loose your beloved Aunt and then have to deal with the family muck. Sending your my thoughts and prayers.
Gayle
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by Scorpioanne » February 24th, 2011, 5:47 pm
My condolences go out to you Ksinger and gemgirl. Puts what I was going to write in total perspective.
I have flying monkeys and I am not afraid to use them.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by risingsun » February 24th, 2011, 11:58 pm
I am very sorry to hear this, gemgirl. My deepest condolences.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by gemgirl » February 25th, 2011, 8:18 am
Thank you ladies. It's going to take me some time to get over her passing. My husband told me after my surgery, when I am well again, he would drive us out to the cemetary so I can pay my respects.

The really wierd thing about this whole situation is that my aunt and uncle's kids both live far away from Long Island, so it was really just my uncle and me visiting my aunt every week since she was in the nursing home. As bad as her dementia got? She *still* recognized me and kissed me and wouldn't let go of me when I was with her. Everything wound up backwards. My sister hadn't gone to visit her even once in two years. That's OK. God makes all things right.
Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by junebug17 » February 25th, 2011, 2:45 pm
My heart goes out to you gemgirl, you must have been devastated when you dropped by to visit and was given that terrible news. I am angry and upset that you were treated so callously. I am so very sorry for your loss, and sorry for the additional trauma you had to experience. Hugs to you, I hope you find comfort in the fact that you were there for your aunt and brought her joy and peace in her final years. That's what really matters the most.

“Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”  Theodore, (Her)

Re: Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alterna

Post by ksinger » February 25th, 2011, 8:42 pm
Written by gemgirl » February 24th, 2011, 3:39 pm:I did not want to post this in Karen's thread, but I've recently known what it feels like to lose someone unexpectedly. My aunt, my mother's sister and really my closest relative died suddenly, and because my sister disowned me years ago for getting married (long really stupid selfish story), I wasn't told about my aunt's passing because my sister wanted to go to the wake and funeral with my cousins. I just happened to find out three weeks after she passed when I stopped into the nursing home to see her on my way home from a doctor's appointment. To say I was shocked would be a bitter understatement. I felt absolutely sickened by her passing and the entire situation for days afterwards. I still haven't made my peace with it yet. It stinks! I wish everyone would treat others the way that they'd like to be treated themselves. Maybe then these selfish behaviors wouldn't happen.



Oh dear!! I'm so so sorry to hear of this for you! Far worse than my situation for certain. To find someone you loved has passed and you weren't told, that's just ghastly. It really is sickening when people are that unkind. At least she had you to visit her, and she knew you, and at that was a very kind thing for you do do. I know, not much to say to make you feel better, but...wow..... I hope you can get a handle on it without too much pain. Things like this can rock a person for far longer than we think, I know. I'll be thinking of you.


Certainly not "Karen's thread" but I will relay that my little "event" is now over, thank goodness. My husband is still putting Neosporin on the fingernail cuts in his palm when they smoothly managed to leave every mention of me (expect in passing in the list of "survivors") from the recounting of my father's life. But then I suppose it should have been expected, since HE left me out: why shouldn't everyone else? And I'm sure several people in the choir (facing us) got some good gossip material for later from watching the expressions chase across my face. Funerals are very frequently NOT about truth -ala, if the guy beat his kids every day, it would be recounted as "he was very involved with his children's lives". :rolleyes:

It was fairly entertaining and odd though, when, after the service, several people almost sprinted up to meet me - it was like I was some sort of exotic animal or something. It's not easy being "the unwanted red-headed step-child". ;)) I can tell you one thing: I did NOT know the man they talked about so glowingly. Never met him.

Anyway, it's over, and as I told myself there, this is meaningless and has no real effect on my life. And it really was and IS true. I did my grieving and coming to grips years ago, so the funeral was just the final spasm of something that was about 99% gone already. I wish things could have been different, but I realize now, nearing 50, that it probably would not have played out any other way even if I had tried much harder.

"Ebenzer Scrooge, the sins of man are huge! A neverending symphony of villainy and infamy, duplicity, deceit, and subterfuge. And no one's worse than Ebenezer Scrooge!"



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