erinl
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2011
- Messages
- 747
Hi all,
I was over at my mother in laws house having dinner. I have one sister with an 8 year old daughter and my own daughter is 5 this week. My mother in law and sister in law have issues with food and weight--they call themselves "foodies" shop at various markets, try new recipes all the time and generally, most of their conversations revolve around food. We are sitting at the table, a big spread of chicken, veggies, dumplings, pork stuffing etc, the works, and my sister in law proceeds to tell my niece that she needs to watch her carbs as her aunts (father's side) are heavy. It doesn't really matter, but my niece is tall and slender, takes part in many athletic activities, and in my opinion, has no reason to even think about portion control or watching her weight at this time--she eats home cooked healthy meals the vast majority of the time. At the same time my sil has her arms wrapped around her 6 ear old son and is asking him if he has had enough to eat and bragging about how much he has eaten.
My daughter was sitting next to her and I firmly believe these types of comments are horrible. I want to make it known that I do not condone this kind of talk, I find it as offensive as just about anything and so harmful to young girls, especially in the media-driven environment we live in. I myself never ever heard one word about dieting or what I should eat from my own mother when I was growing up in the late 70s/80s and I had a bout of borderline anorexia my senior year, just didn't eat much and liked the reactions my peers gave me about how thin I was, so this directs my concern. My daughter has the most amazing self image right now and I want to foster it. As a side note, my daughter has a healthy appetite and is curvier than they are and mil and sil make comments about that already.
How would you respond? I don't feel like I have a relationship with either women where I can speak up in general about anything, unfortunately, my method of coping has been to avoid being around them, but my mother in law often wants to watch the kids without me around and my sil will come over too, so they go unchecked. My husband is absolutely no help, I mention my issue and he sighs and rolls his eyes.
I was over at my mother in laws house having dinner. I have one sister with an 8 year old daughter and my own daughter is 5 this week. My mother in law and sister in law have issues with food and weight--they call themselves "foodies" shop at various markets, try new recipes all the time and generally, most of their conversations revolve around food. We are sitting at the table, a big spread of chicken, veggies, dumplings, pork stuffing etc, the works, and my sister in law proceeds to tell my niece that she needs to watch her carbs as her aunts (father's side) are heavy. It doesn't really matter, but my niece is tall and slender, takes part in many athletic activities, and in my opinion, has no reason to even think about portion control or watching her weight at this time--she eats home cooked healthy meals the vast majority of the time. At the same time my sil has her arms wrapped around her 6 ear old son and is asking him if he has had enough to eat and bragging about how much he has eaten.
My daughter was sitting next to her and I firmly believe these types of comments are horrible. I want to make it known that I do not condone this kind of talk, I find it as offensive as just about anything and so harmful to young girls, especially in the media-driven environment we live in. I myself never ever heard one word about dieting or what I should eat from my own mother when I was growing up in the late 70s/80s and I had a bout of borderline anorexia my senior year, just didn't eat much and liked the reactions my peers gave me about how thin I was, so this directs my concern. My daughter has the most amazing self image right now and I want to foster it. As a side note, my daughter has a healthy appetite and is curvier than they are and mil and sil make comments about that already.
How would you respond? I don't feel like I have a relationship with either women where I can speak up in general about anything, unfortunately, my method of coping has been to avoid being around them, but my mother in law often wants to watch the kids without me around and my sil will come over too, so they go unchecked. My husband is absolutely no help, I mention my issue and he sighs and rolls his eyes.