X-mas proposal w/complications. Need ideas.

[jasonguard]

I plan to propose to my lady on Xmas morning while openning presents. However, she just notified me that we''re going to her parents house on X-mas eve and will stay there until after dinner on Xmas Day. Plus, we''ve got a house guest the day before xmas eve. So, she tells me that we''re going to exchange gifts on the 22nd, before dinner (as one of her gifts involves a homemade dinner).

Initially, I resisted waking up at her parents'' house on xmas day because it messed up my plans and they''re really socially awkward. They''re cold toward me and don''t seem to like each other. Anyhow, they demand a lot of her time around the holidays, so that''s where we''re headed.

Now, I''ve got to pop the question on a make-shift holiday night. Luckily, it''ll be at home, which is what I wanted. And we''ll be able to take the ring and the good news up to see her folks. But, I hadn''t really thought of anything special except for the surprise of one of the big boxes having a series of smaller boxes, on down to the ring and there I am on my knee.

Any suggestions would be great.

Jason

 

[dmbfan]

yeah.....forget x-mas and wait till the week after. as you can see, you will be juggling a lot of thing that will be going on that weekend. Wouldn''t you want her full attention rather than everything else that will be going on. do it during the middle of the week so she wont have a clue and when you are both alone and together. that''s just my input...

 

[jasonguard]

I''m really hoping to do this as part of the xmas celebration/gift-exchange. I''ve thought about New Years, but that night is just too crazy. Xmas is special, quiet, intimate, and like I said, she''ll be happy to tell our friend who''s coming over and her parents when we visit them. For the past six months, she''s said, ''You better hurry up and ask me to marry you.'' I''m not in as much of a rush as she is, but the idea has taken hold of me. I know it doesn''t seem like it''s gonna be a big surprise, but I need to make sure that I don''t underwhelm her. Who knows what kind of expectations she''s got about this. Right now, I''m pouring all of my time into finding the perfect ring. But, what I need from you all are the perfect moves.
Jason

ps: we''re both 30 years old. I don''t see the need to ask her dad''s permission. He''s extremely possessive. She both enjoys and resents that. I want her to be able to tell him, ''this is what I''m doing.'' Am I missing something here?

 

[SeattleSparkle]

If her dad is really possessive, it will not win you any points by not asking him. Because not only will you be with her for the rest of your life, you also become part of her family ... which includes him. I think that this is a really nice tradition, despite its archaic nature... I have a very "strained" and distant relationship with my father and while I don''t think I need his permission to do anything (and if I get married someday, not even sure I want him to walk me down the aisle ...) I think it would be nice if my boyfriend asked him anyway. It just shows that he''s willing to go the extra mile to put my family at ease.

I wish you the best on your Christmastime proposal!! Be sure to post the details of the event.

 

[caligal]

O.k. I don''t know too much about your area- but do you have snow/mountains there? (Sorry I''m geographically challenged!) If so... I would take her on a sleigh ride before you open presents! Or plan something equally as wintery/christmasy: ice skating, chestnuts roasting in an open fire, mistletoe, making christmas cookies, etc... Then you are building for a nice night. You could hide a video camera so you tape the entire thing for her. In the other boxes you could get fun rememberances: menu from favorite take out, movie stubs, old cards, etc... Good luck!!

 

[K_roK56]

why not wait for new years?

 

[BrightSpot]

If you want to use the idea of giving her a succession of smaller boxes, ending in the ring (which I think it cute, btw), why don''t you follow her suggestion of the two of you having your own, special, private time for exchanging gifts on the 22nd, before your guest arrives & all of the hustle & bustle of Xmas w/ her family?

If she suggested the idea of a private gift exchange, she likely won''t be expecting a proposal at this time, which would give you a nice opportunity to surprise her.

I''m sure she''d love to be able to share the news of her engagement w/ her friends & family on Xmas. You could even incorporate some of caligal''s great ideas (xmas cookies, mistletoe, etc.)

A New Year''s Eve proposal would be nice too, though. Let us know what you decide.

 

[ithinkthisistheone]

don''t forget v-day is only 8 weeks away

 

[WTNLVR]

How about 12/24 evening if you aren''t traveling. Set up a romantic dinner for 2 at home with the excuse you won''t be alone for several days. nice fire, champagne, arrange to open 1 "special gift" each that night and surprise her. She''ll have lot''s to talk about all weekend long.

 

[jasonguard]

I''ve got the ring and I''m just itching to do it at this point. I decided to go ahead and talk to her dad. He''s excited and was happy to give his blessing. However, the mom may be upset that I didn''t talk to her about it. Oh well, I didn''t expect this thing to go perfectly.

On the 22nd, Thursday after work, we''re going to exchange gifts and one of those gifts will be the ring/proposal. She has some kind of dinner/gift planned for us at home that night, so I''m not going to try and do it during dinner. Right now, my plan is to give her one last present, which I will tell her is an outfit for our little pug, Frankie. The dog and I will go in the other room and I''ll tie a bow around his neck with the ring on it. He doesn''t really mind being made to wear frilly accessories. Karen will call the dog and he''ll come trotting in. From there it should unfold on its own.

Of course, the box in a box in a box option is still available. Any thoughts? I''m nervous and really wanna get this out in the open.

 

[ellewoods]

Hi Jason!

I think your proposal sounds perfect. She won''t be expecting it right before Christmas, and you have the night alone together without dealing with all of the Christmas stuff too. But you still get to celebrate with everyone on Christmas!

I absolutely LOVE the pug-with-ring concept too. It''s a great idea to tell her you got him an outfit. She''ll probably be excited and totally not thinking of a proposal (at least that''s how I''d feel). There was a proposal story on here a while back about a guy proposing to his girlfriend by tying the ring to her dog''s collar. It was the cutest thing ever -- I''m a huge dog lover -- and here''s a pic of the adorable creature. Disclaimer: I apologize to the woman whose dog this is if you don''t want me to post the picture....I will take it down if you like.

I just thought it was the cutest thing I''d ever seen and I had to save the pic.

 

[kbarn21]

Being that I am a lady who is about to get engaged my self....don''t give her an engagement ring as her Christmas gift! If I were you I would wait until it was just the two of you....sounds like her house will be a circus. Wait until the two of you are back home. If you bride to be is big into monogrammed stuff (we ladies in the south are!) why not get her something pretty like a cake knife (can be used at yoru wedding) and have your last innitial on it....give it to her as a late Christmas gift then ask her to take your name and be your wife......

 

[jasonguard]

Big news, everybody:

On Wednesday, Tuesday, December 21st, Karen ---------- and Jason ------- got engaged. The plan was to exchange one gift each to liven up the holiday evening and
spread the fun of giving/getting gifts throughout the week. Karen gave
me the companion book to the very cool PBS reality show "Cooking Under
Fire." In return, I tied a bow around our pug Frankie and attached a
ring box to the ribbon. When she called him into the room, Karen
opened the doggy-delivered parcel to find a shiny little ring that will
make you reach for sunglasses when you see it.
Well, the ensuing discussion was full of excitement, affection, and the
mutual agreement to one day get married. From there,
it was more lovey-dovey talk as we walked to our new favorite
restaurant, the Dogwood Grille, at Main and Allen in Richmond's Fan District. Either the food was some of the best we've ever had, or we were simply on cloud nine. We
stumbled home safely and have spent a good deal of today spreading the
news.
So, now you know.
Cheers,
Jason

PS: Thanks to everyone here for helpling me with this.

 

[indecisive]

Congratulations! That is such a sweet proposal. I think you may want to edit your post to remove your full names and telephone numbers though. This is a public forum and anyone could see them... unless this is some sort of joke...

 

[jasonguard]

Whoops! Thanks.
Jason

 

[sistagrl2004]

Hey can we get pics of the ring???

 

[jasonguard]

I posted pics of the ring under "about to by, is this a bargain?" under Rocky Talk. The whole debate about the ring and the terms, vintage, estate piece, etc is included there. Including the update about the appraisal of the ring. Take a peek.
jg