Having trouble letting go of a heartbreaking news story...

[Autumn in New England]

Hello friends,

I try to live in the light, but it seems we're tested every day. When I read a sad headline, I take a quiet moment to embrace those affected. And then, for my own sanity, I have to move on. But I saw a news story today that has gutted me. I have been upset all day, and just cannot shake the deep and utter sorrow I am experiencing for this tragic soul.

Did anyone see the story about the 9 y/o Pennsylvania boy who beat cancer, only to be strangled by his father (who had been jailed previously for abusing him)? Clearly, this boy was terribly mistreated and neglected the entirety of his short and anguished life. And yet every photo of him shows a beaming, beautiful, smiling face. I just can't get it out of my thoughts. I want to hold him tight, keep him safe, and comfort him.

I'm a believer in "thinking globally, and acting locally." And I try to focus my charitable donations and volunteerism in that direction. But you can't right every wrong in this world, and the sense of helplessness can be overwhelming.

So how do you personally deal with these lingering emotions?

Thanks for listening,
Autumn

 

[Bron357]

Like you I find it incredibly hard to read about children being hurt or abused by adults, it breaks my heart that such precious wee souls are damaged irrevocably or worse killed. I just don’t understand how people can get to that stage of evilness and cruelty. So I make an effort to regularly practice kindness. I can’t change the world but by each smile, each thank you, each simple kindness maybe I’m stopping someone from falling into despair. It costs me nothing to let the frazzled mother go ahead of me in the shopping queue.
my Motto is be kind and care about others.

 

[Kim N]

This story has a happy ending, but I don't understand how anyone could do this.

https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article266222921.html

 

[missy]

There is so much cruelty and evil in this world. IMO. And honestly, sometimes I cannot get over a story or block it from my mind. It's very challenging. I feel things super strongly and it does affect me. It stays with me haunting me. I literally feel pain when I see or read of others experiencing pain. It's crazy but true.

I cannot even watch animal commercials showing abused animals in need. It haunts and pains me. I have stopped watching animal movies or movies where I know an animal will be killed. I have stopped watching violent movies. It's too much for me.

Like you I work for causes locally and donate to charities close to my heart all over the world. We can only do what we can do but every little effort adds up and makes a difference. That is truly what I believe.

We do the best we can do. But for my sanity I try to avoid reading/seeing upsetting stories. It's an act of self preservation. And doesn't mean I am oblivious to all that is wrong but instead I use my energy and do what I can. But I cannot handle reading/seeing horrible things that happen all over the world. It's overload for me. I am not strong enough to withstand what feels like an emotional (and even physical as I feel the pain physically too) assault.

So I do what I can. Every action makes a difference. IMO

 

[Petalouda]

Hi Autumn,

I read the same story and it has haunted me since as well. Why does one person have to endure so much in their short life only to have it ended in such a cruel manner? I wish I had more insight for you as I’ve been struggling with this as well. I think what has helped is a break from the news.

 

[rainydaze]

I'm sorry @Autumn in New England, it's an awful feeling to have these things haunt us.

I try to get a good dose of nature - taking walks around my neighborhood or on wooded trails; doing some yardwork (which has the added benefit of introducing some new feelings like satisfaction and joy, as well as allowing me to be tired enough to shut my brain off from the thing that is bothering me).

Sometimes I will immerse myself in cleaning and rearranging the house - similar effects for me. Leaves me with some positive feelings that help counteract the negative ones that have taken over.

Other times I will get really comfy on the couch and binge a nostalgic, comforting, familiar tv show which helps balance my emotions more towards feeling safe, warm, and pleasant again. An old favorite book could do the same.

Regardless of any active energy I put into trying to displace the haunting feelings and thoughts, I always make sure to cut myself some slack by slowing myself down. Acknowledging the feelings and how much it sucks, and gently reminding myself that they will ease, in time. I make sure to avoid any potential sources of more grief and sadness bc the scale is already tipped, and I need to give it time, space, and grace to tip back the other way.

I wish you peace.

 

[dk168]

Can't fix everything that is wrong in this world, so I shall concentrate on doing what I can do to make a difference.

Like cooking a hot meal for the homeless and the vulnerable; raising and donating money to the causes that I care about; helping out with organising and participating in fund raising events, etc...

My pets (a cat and a dog) are both rehomed, and I would like to believe I have provided them a good home which is better a life on the street or in a shelter.

I would like to believe every little bit helps to provide some happiness in someone or some animal's life, even if it is for just a short time.

DK

 

[Ionysis]

I have to say I didn’t even read your initial post. In much the same way I skip any news articles that I know I will find traumatic and disturbing. I have a particular sensitivity to animal abuse stories which I absolutely cannot tolerate and which make me feel physically sick.

I know that it’s pathetic and weak and it doesn’t help anyone for me to stick my head in the sand but I just can’t manage the thought of all these horrible things.

I have an ark of rescue animals that I adopted from shelters, not least because I feel guilty that I can’t help out at those shelters, because I can’t bear to see the animals when they are first brought in.

If I accidentally stumble across new stories which graphically describe horrible things which happen to animals or children I can be awake at nights and troubled for weeks because I can’t get it out of my mind. I cannot begin to imagine how police, social workers, doctors and others manage to do their work and also exist in their normal family lives. I could not have more sympathy and admiration for people who are strong enough to handle that mentally.

 

[Autumn in New England]

Like you I find it incredibly hard to read about children being hurt or abused by adults, it breaks my heart that such precious wee souls are damaged irrevocably or worse killed. I just don’t understand how people can get to that stage of evilness and cruelty. So I make an effort to regularly practice kindness. I can’t change the world but by each smile, each thank you, each simple kindness maybe I’m stopping someone from falling into despair. It costs me nothing to let the frazzled mother go ahead of me in the shopping queue.
my Motto is be kind and care about others.

A wonderful reminder, thank you!

 

[Autumn in New England]

There is so much cruelty and evil in this world. IMO. And honestly, sometimes I cannot get over a story or block it from my mind. It's very challenging. I feel things super strongly and it does affect me. It stays with me haunting me. I literally feel pain when I see or read of others experiencing pain. It's crazy but true.

I cannot even watch animal commercials showing abused animals in need. It haunts and pains me. I have stopped watching animal movies or movies where I know an animal will be killed. I have stopped watching violent movies. It's too much for me.

Like you I work for causes locally and donate to charities close to my heart all over the world. We can only do what we can do but every little effort adds up and makes a difference. That is truly what I believe.

We do the best we can do. But for my sanity I try to avoid reading/seeing upsetting stories. It's an act of self preservation. And doesn't mean I am oblivious to all that is wrong but instead I use my energy and do what I can. But I cannot handle reading/seeing horrible things that happen all over the world. It's overload for me. I am not strong enough to withstand what feels like an emotional (and even physical as I feel the pain physically too) assault.

So I do what I can. Every action makes a difference. IMO

I agree with you and Bron that lighting these little "candles" every day is the best way to make a difference. Thank you for sharing your story as well!

 

[Autumn in New England]

This story has a happy ending, but I don't understand how anyone could do this.

https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article266222921.html

Seems there is a story like this on the news every day... relieved this one ended happily. Such cruelty is unimaginable.

 

[Autumn in New England]

Hi Autumn,

I read the same story and it has haunted me since as well. Why does one person have to endure so much in their short life only to have it ended in such a cruel manner? I wish I had more insight for you as I’ve been struggling with this as well. I think what has helped is a break from the news.

I must say it comforted me just to read that you were aware of, and affected by, this story as well. Naturally, the last thing I want is for you to feel down also. But it's a reminder that we're all in this together. Thank you for that. As for this precious boy... I'm just still so sick over it. I wonder what he would have become if surrounded by love, compassion, and support.

 

[Autumn in New England]

I'm sorry @Autumn in New England, it's an awful feeling to have these things haunt us.

I try to get a good dose of nature - taking walks around my neighborhood or on wooded trails; doing some yardwork (which has the added benefit of introducing some new feelings like satisfaction and joy, as well as allowing me to be tired enough to shut my brain off from the thing that is bothering me).

Sometimes I will immerse myself in cleaning and rearranging the house - similar effects for me. Leaves me with some positive feelings that help counteract the negative ones that have taken over.

Other times I will get really comfy on the couch and binge a nostalgic, comforting, familiar tv show which helps balance my emotions more towards feeling safe, warm, and pleasant again. An old favorite book could do the same.

Regardless of any active energy I put into trying to displace the haunting feelings and thoughts, I always make sure to cut myself some slack by slowing myself down. Acknowledging the feelings and how much it sucks, and gently reminding myself that they will ease, in time. I make sure to avoid any potential sources of more grief and sadness bc the scale is already tipped, and I need to give it time, space, and grace to tip back the other way.

I wish you peace.

What a beautiful (and immensely helpful) post... my eyes filled up just reading it. Nature is my sanctuary for sure. There is not much that a walk through the woods won't at least help, if not cure. I, too, feel comforted and safe when surrounded by my favorite books, shows, and films. Sage advice, all of it. Thank you!

 

[Autumn in New England]

Can't fix everything that is wrong in this world, so I shall concentrate on doing what I can do to make a difference.

Like cooking a hot meal for the homeless and the vulnerable; raising and donating money to the causes that I care about; helping out with organising and participating in fund raising events, etc...

My pets (a cat and a dog) are both rehomed, and I would like to believe I have provided them a good home which is better a life on the street or in a shelter.

I would like to believe every little bit helps to provide some happiness in someone or some animal's life, even if it is for just a short time.

DK

This is so important too, because not only are you putting good out into the world, but you're helping to create a sense of community for others. I truly feel that if more folks felt welcomed by their communities, even on just a small scale, they would be less likely to lash out. Thank you for sharing...

 

[Autumn in New England]

I have to say I didn’t even read your initial post. In much the same way I skip any news articles that I know I will find traumatic and disturbing. I have a particular sensitivity to animal abuse stories which I absolutely cannot tolerate and which make me feel physically sick.

I know that it’s pathetic and weak and it doesn’t help anyone for me to stick my head in the sand but I just can’t manage the thought of all these horrible things.

I have an ark of rescue animals that I adopted from shelters, not least because I feel guilty that I can’t help out at those shelters, because I can’t bear to see the animals when they are first brought in.

If I accidentally stumble across new stories which graphically describe horrible things which happen to animals or children I can be awake at nights and troubled for weeks because I can’t get it out of my mind. I cannot begin to imagine how police, social workers, doctors and others manage to do their work and also exist in their normal family lives. I could not have more sympathy and admiration for people who are strong enough to handle that mentally.

It's not weak, my friend; it's a necessary form of self-preservation, as missy said. Your family and animals are counting on you too, and our emotional health must come first. I try to avoid these types of stories, as well. But this one struck me hard. Anyway, it sounds like you are a sensitive soul, and that is a gift!

 

[Autumn in New England]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to open your hearts and share with me (us). Just knowing you're not alone with these feelings makes a world of difference.

Hugs,
Autumn

 

[smitcompton]

hI,
I know the world has always had cruel and all sorts of manifestations of what I call evil. But, I think it has gotten worse since I was younger. The constant telling of these stories instills in some people the seeds of thinking it is not so abnormal. The population is growing and I think some parts are susceptible to suggestion and they imitate, when they cannot control parts of life as they wish, and respond with what they have seen or read in the exploding media.
I was taught much like Autumn, to live in the light and beware of the evil around you and make sure you are not sucked into it. This is not always easy, but many of you have already mentioned that not reading or watching these stories are necessary for you to survive. I agree. One not only has to protect themselves, (it is a danger), but one has to find good decent people to associate with and as corney as it sounds look for the good. My mind just recalled--the evil of the day is sufficient unto itself. Give no thought of the morrow for the morrow shall take thought of itself. Be not therefore anxious of the morrow, the morrow will be anxious for itself.
Do what we can each day to ease life for others, Live in the Light.

Annette

 

[Piper70]

This just happened to me about a month ago. Something so horrible that I’m still not over it. I have anxiety and undiagnosed ADD so I have what I call monkey mind where things pop up unexpectedly. I need to just remind myself that there is more good in the world than bad and try to do whatever I can to help because it’s all I can do.

 

[Calliecake]

When something like this takes a hold and really bothers me I find spending time with the little ones in our family is the best medicine. Hearing their squeals, laughter and just hearing about their days helps me see the good in the world and all that is fun and joyful. Spending time with children and animals help keeps my focus in the moment.

Helping other people going thru a hard times also helps.

Sometimes it’s best to just take a break from the news for our own well being.

 

[Autumn in New England]

hI,
I know the world has always had cruel and all sorts of manifestations of what I call evil. But, I think it has gotten worse since I was younger. The constant telling of these stories instills in some people the seeds of thinking it is not so abnormal. The population is growing and I think some parts are susceptible to suggestion and they imitate, when they cannot control parts of life as they wish, and respond with what they have seen or read in the exploding media.
I was taught much like Autumn, to live in the light and beware of the evil around you and make sure you are not sucked into it. This is not always easy, but many of you have already mentioned that not reading or watching these stories are necessary for you to survive. I agree. One not only has to protect themselves, (it is a danger), but one has to find good decent people to associate with and as corney as it sounds look for the good. My mind just recalled--the evil of the day is sufficient unto itself. Give no thought of the morrow for the morrow shall take thought of itself. Be not therefore anxious of the morrow, the morrow will be anxious for itself.
Do what we can each day to ease life for others, Live in the Light.

Annette

Thank you for this, Annette. So eloquently put.

 

[Autumn in New England]

This just happened to me about a month ago. Something so horrible that I’m still not over it. I have anxiety and undiagnosed ADD so I have what I call monkey mind where things pop up unexpectedly. I need to just remind myself that there is more good in the world than bad and try to do whatever I can to help because it’s all I can do.

Wishing you peace as well, my friend!

 

[Autumn in New England]

When something like this takes a hold and really bothers me I find spending time with the little ones in our family is the best medicine. Hearing their squeals, laughter and just hearing about their days helps me see the good in the world and all that is fun and joyful. Spending time with children and animals help keeps my focus in the moment.

Helping other people going thru a hard times also helps.

Sometimes it’s best to just take a break from the news for our own well being.

Surrounding oneself with the innocence of children and animals never fails to lift us. Thank you for commenting!