Parents/Inlaws....Friends?

[NakedFinger]

Have your parents met your future in-laws? Will they (or have they to those enggaged already) pre-engagement? Or will you wait until you get engaged? What is your expectation for their relationship? Meet so that they know each other at the wedding, and for b-day parties, etc when you have kids? Or do you expect them to be friends? Spend holidays together etc?

 

[sunnyd]

Our moms have been friends longer than we''ve been together x6! They''ve worked in the same school for over 13 years. So when we did get together, big family dinners became common. I love it!

 

[winelover23]

I''ve met my hopeful future-in-laws several times. They live 10 minutes from us and are absolutely fabulous! They will be the ultimate in laws because they don''t meddle but are a ton of fun to hang with. We do a lot of stuff with them and go to their vacation home in the islands together a lot. Plus to top it off they are in love with my daughter and are absolutely wonderful to her! We''ve also spent a lot of time with my family and he gets along with them perfectly.

 

[NakedFinger]

Date: 7/30/2009 3:41:36 PM
Author: winelover23
I''ve met my hopeful future-in-laws several times. They live 10 minutes from us and are absolutely fabulous! They will be the ultimate in laws because they don''t meddle but are a ton of fun to hang with. We do a lot of stuff with them and go to their vacation home in the islands together a lot. Plus to top it off they are in love with my daughter and are absolutely wonderful to her! We''ve also spent a lot of time with my family and he gets along with them perfectly.

How nice! I adore my inlaws too.

But no, i''m not asking if you have met your inlaws (i would hope so!). I''m asking if your parents have met his parents?

 

[princesss]

Our parents get along really well, which is awesome. I was a little worried about it because they''re very different, but his parents are the type of people EVERYBODY likes, so I wasn''t too worried. (I love my parents, obviously, and think they''re great, but really....BF''s parents could get along with anybody.)

 

[LilyKat]

No, our parents live pretty far away from each other and I doubt they''d meet until after we were engaged. I''m sure they''d get on fine with each other, but they''re quite different and I have no expectation of them being best friends and going on holiday together etc. From what I''ve seen that''s the exception rather than the rule - but I''m sure it''s nice if it happens! It''s probably more likely to happen if both sets of parents live in the same town.

 

[winelover23]

OMG, I better ease up on the blonde highlights! Please accept my mistake as I suffer from "sometimers"!

Let me try again...

NO my future hopefuls have not met my parents. My bf''s Mom met my Sister and my BIL met his Dad. We''re trying to coordinate a bbq with both families but summertime is so busy for everyone. Knock on wood there will be an engagement before too long so we will definitely have both families together after that. Otherwise I''m assuming it will just be kids Birthday''s etc.

 

[Mannequin]

The parents have met twice. When my FI finished renovating a house last year, I hosted a housewarming party there and we got both of our families to mingle at that time. His birthday falls close to Christmas and I invited my family to his mother's house for a birthday/Christmas music and singalong party this past December. Everyone seems to get along well so far! His mom is super excited about our engagement and is already planning a nice dinner party next month for us, inviting parents, siblings, and grandparents.

 

[pluck15]

Our parents actually just met earlier this month. His are across the country where he''s from, so they finally were able to make a trip out here. I''ve hung out with them many times as I''ve been back to visit home with him. Our parents got along great.... however for some reason I thought it would be a bigger deal...if that makes any sense? I feel like I built it up to be some big deal..but it felt pretty anti-climactic (sp?) It just seemed like them meeting was no big deal to them.

So, I guess its good that they get along, and that they have met. Means we are one step closer!

 

[musey]

My parents met his parents... umm... I wanna say about a year and a half into our relationship? We all live in opposite corners of the country, otherwise I'm sure it would've happened sooner. My brother happens to live in the same city as my in-laws, so while my parents were in town to visit him, they met up with hubs' parents. They hit it off right away as they're very similar people and have very similar interests. They're all pretty easy to get along with anyhow.

Now, 4 years later, they've spent multiple holidays together, vacationed together, met up while in each others' neck-o-the-woods... my dad likens hanging out with them to "reuniting with old college buddies." They're great friends, I love it!

 

[lulu66]

We live in the same town as BFs parents, so on occasion when my mom''s visited (she visits w/o dad often--girl''s shopping!) she had met both of his parents. Then in May (2 1/2 years in) we both graduated from grad school & my mom & dad met BFs father & several aunts & cousins (BFs mom was out of town). So, my parents have both met his dad, but only my mom has met his mom. They get along though, so no worries.

 

[katomm]

This has actually been a topic of discussion for about a month in my house. BF''s mom mentioned last time we saw them that his ex wife never introduced them to her parents. They were together TEN YEARS!!!! I find that horrible considering their parents lived only two hours apart. His mom seemed pretty hurt by it and said she thought the ex wife was embarrassed of them. I love them to death!!!!

I had been thinking of it since she mentioned it about a month ago but BF is the one that brought it up and wants to introduce my mom to his parents soon (assuming pre engagement). I don''t talk to my dad so there no issue there and my stepfather is physically not able to leave the house so they won''t be meeting him.

No, I don''t expect family get togethers, my family has never been into that and I don''t celebrate Christmas. We''re probably not going to have kids so............probably very few times the in laws and my mom get together.

 

[gwendolyn]

Mine haven''t met yet since they live in different countries, but we are hoping my parents will fly out here for our legal wedding in April and will hang out with J''s parents, and that J''s parents will then fly out to the US for our reception party in May and hang out s''more with my folks (and other family and friends) then.

They will probably get along pretty well, but sadly there probably won''t be many times they will get together after that.

 

[4ever]

We''re in a similar situation to gwendolyn and her FI. He''s English and I''m from New Zealand and we''re both currently living in New Zealand. Our parents have never met each other and I''m not sure when they will because that''s a very very long way to come it for a visit. I''d like to think they''d meet before we get married but that depends again on where it will be because BF''s parents are unlikely to want to travel all the way to NZ for the wedding. We''ll see. It''s abit sad really because I get the feeling our Dads would get on like a house on fire. They have lots of similar intrests and a similar sence of humor. I think our mums would get along too because they''re both the kinds of people who get along with everyone, but have less in common.

 

[jaylex]

This is kinda confusing but...
My mom and stepdad has met bfs mom and stepdad many times, bfs dad a few times and bfs stepmom once. My mom has also met bfs fathers parents (bfs gparents)..
My dad has met bfs mom and stepdad several times, and bfs dad a few times. He has also met bfs stepdad''s dad once (bfs step?grandfather)

Our parents are friendly in person... but our mothers and stepfathers are both way too controlling to get along well. They can''t seem to establish who''s the "alpha parents" in the bunch so they secretly don''t care for each other. They have gone to dinner together before though. But I doubt they will ever be "friends". They fight over us during the holidays so I doubt they will ever compromise and spend them together, although it would probably be the best situation for everyone lol.
They will most likely see each other at our wedding and at our future kids baseball games, ballet recitals, ect.

Our fathers are very laid back and get along swimmingly and would probably be great friends if they gave it a try... but it probably won''t happen just because they are both too busy for friends and live probably a half hour away. We have been trying to plan a "us and dads" sporting event though, so they may see a little more of each other.

Wow.. that was too confusing for me to even sort out lol.

 

[MrsHToBe]

My father has met my FILs many-a-time, in the 8½-years that FF have been together. These days, we''re more of a combined family unit, than anything.. Christmas gets spent together, Thanksgiving, family time at the cottage, etc. That being said, however, my mother probably won''t meet them until after we''re engaged, or even until the wedding. Mum, and I don''t see, or even speak to each other a lot (in fact, I haven''t talked to her since February, when I called for her birthday), and honestly (as harsh as this is), she''s not much of a ''mother''. I won''t go into details, but, yeah.. we''re definitely not close. She''s even bad-mouthed FF''s parents for years, without knowing them at all, and they definitely don''t deserve it.. they''re wonderful people. Part of me even wonders if I should invite her to the wedding, at all.. I don''t really want to risk ruining the day, thanks to her shenanigans.

 

[misskitty]

Our parents live a few hours apart, but they''ve met a couple of times and really get along! We also spend holidays in the same city because he grew up in my mom''s hometown, and last year both families got together and did dessert after Thanksgiving, Easter, etc.

 

[Haven]

Our parents met probably a year into our relationship, and then they started inviting each other to family dinners and holidays shortly thereafter.

By the time we married, which was four years into our relationship, our families knew each other very well. My mom even has DH''s niece and nephew over for sleepovers! (I think she''s aching for some grandbabies, so this is the best compromise for right now.)

 

[mrscushion]

Ours met post-engagement, but they live very far apart. The engagement set off plans to make a meeting happen. It went extremely well. They won''t ever be close friends because they are pretty different, but they get along great.

 

[ts44]

His mother is a good-hearted woman who does anything and everything she can for her loved ones, but very negative and complains about everything. Her glass is always half-empty. She leans far left politically. Her appearance is very plain and easygoing. If you can fry it or butter it, she can cook it. She is 65 years old and looks like my grandmother. She gardens a little, but generally speaking has no hobbies or interests outside of her family. She has always been a stay-at-home mom. After her husband died, she never remarried or even dated.

My mother is also a good-hearted woman who does anything and everything she can for her loved ones, is always positive, accepts when bad things happen and looks forward to see what can be done better. She leans FAR right politically, doesn''t leave the house without mascara and follows fashion trends. She eats practically nothing but plain lean chicken, lettuce, and whole grains. She is 50 and looks like my slightly older sister. She plays tennis religiously, works out, volunteers for nonprofits, and runs a manufacturing company. She has been working since she was 15. She has been married 3 times.

As you can see, they''re practically oil and water. They have never met and they probably won''t until the actual wedding, frankly. I don''t think they will get along other than to maybe have their love of family in common? I hope I get surprised and they really hit it off.