aphisiglovessae
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2005
- Messages
- 1,140
Hi everyone, I started reading these forums about a week or so ago and I''''m so addicted! I was hoping that maybe I could get some advice or some reassurance that I''''m not a jerk. SO, here''''s my problem:
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago. We''''ve been talking about marriage since Christmas time (after 1 year of dating). As a matter of fact, he''''s already gotten the ring and now I''''m just playing the waiting game on when he''''s going to propose. The thing that bothers me is the fact that I picked the ring. I always told him that I didn''''t care what I got for an e-ring. I always said that it was the sentiment behind it that was important. I didn''''t mean to pick it out. Here''''s how it happened: In March, he was showing me rings that he happened to be looking at online. I think he just wanted to get an idea of what I liked. I found this site one day that had some pretty rings and we were looking at them together. There was only one or two rings on the site that he liked. One of the rings was especially pretty to me. I told him I liked it, but it was a little expensive and I told him all the time that I would like him to pick the ring and I didn''''t want him to break his pocket buying one. Well, I happened to be home visiting my parents one weekend and I was showing my mom some of the rings that my bf told me he was looking at. She really liked the same ring that both me and my bf really liked on that site. When I was talking to him on the phone I happened to mention that my mom liked the ring as well, not thinking that anything would come of it. I thought it was just conversation. Next thing I know he''''s telling me he''''s on the phone with the dealer!
And then a little while later he''''s involving me in picking out a diamond!
And then he buys one and is sending me all the results of the testing that Rockdoc did on the diamond. Now he''''s got the diamond mounted in the setting and it''''s ready to go (it''''s been ready for three weeks). However, he won''''t let me see it now that it''''s all ready because he said the ring is ten times prettier than it was when it was seperate. Oh, he let me see the setting and the diamond before he had them put together. I just feel like poo because I think I robbed him of the fun and excitement of picking out a ring and seeing my expression and surprise when he presents it. He involved me every step of the way in the purchase of the ring. He now makes comments about how I already know everything and he shouldn''''t have told me because now it won''''t be a surprise. I told him that no matter what, I''''ll be just as emotional and excited as if I never knew. I know that my reaction will be the same regardless, but I feel bad that it didn''''t go the way he originally wanted. I know he''''s the one that involved me and I didn''''t really jump in, but hindsight is 20/20 and I feel he''''s regreting it. Also, the waiting game is killing me because I know!
Am I a jerk for picking out my ring and did I ruin the proposal process?
Any input is appreciated.
I met my boyfriend a year and a half ago. We''''ve been talking about marriage since Christmas time (after 1 year of dating). As a matter of fact, he''''s already gotten the ring and now I''''m just playing the waiting game on when he''''s going to propose. The thing that bothers me is the fact that I picked the ring. I always told him that I didn''''t care what I got for an e-ring. I always said that it was the sentiment behind it that was important. I didn''''t mean to pick it out. Here''''s how it happened: In March, he was showing me rings that he happened to be looking at online. I think he just wanted to get an idea of what I liked. I found this site one day that had some pretty rings and we were looking at them together. There was only one or two rings on the site that he liked. One of the rings was especially pretty to me. I told him I liked it, but it was a little expensive and I told him all the time that I would like him to pick the ring and I didn''''t want him to break his pocket buying one. Well, I happened to be home visiting my parents one weekend and I was showing my mom some of the rings that my bf told me he was looking at. She really liked the same ring that both me and my bf really liked on that site. When I was talking to him on the phone I happened to mention that my mom liked the ring as well, not thinking that anything would come of it. I thought it was just conversation. Next thing I know he''''s telling me he''''s on the phone with the dealer!
Any input is appreciated.