Hi everyone,
I am so confused and upset. My boy (of 3 years) and I planned on getting married sometime next year. We hadn''''t talked details (rings etc) and there had been no official proposal (i.e. we had not told our parents etc of the plan) but I assumed we would get round to these details when the time was right (I did not feel that there was any particular rush and he is searching for a job so I thought it would happen once that was finalized). I also assumed that prior to any ring purchase, he would consult with me as to the type of ring I would like ... if I had known he would not, I would have definitely communicated my ideas.
Anyway, so last night, we planned to use a $100 voucher to a very nice restaurant. The restaurant was quite crowded and there were couples jammed either side of us. I was also in a bad mood because I was tired and had a bad day at work. Imagine my surprise when he produces this small box and says I have a present for you. Weirdly, I did not think that it contained a ring (I just thought chocolates - crazy I know) and so I opened it and there was a ring. Total surprise. I love him so much and do want to spend the rest of my life with him so I said yes.
I have to be honest though, for some reason, the proposal did not feel right. There was no privacy, I couldn''''t let myself be overcome with emotion, we were sitting so far apart and I was so concious of the couples next to us (who could overhear every word) - I wanted it to be just us somewhere we could truly open up and jump up and down about how excited we were instead it all just felt a bit sterile. In addition, it was some random dinner at some random restaurant that we ended up at because we were using a dinner voucher (and btw, I ended up paying for the amount we went over on the voucher, he will pay me back later - not that I would usually care at all as I make the most money and generally pay for us, it was just one more thing)! I felt disappointment with the whole proposal - I am embarassed to admit this but it doesn''''t change the fact.
I eventually look at the ring properly when we return home. It is really beautiful - he got it from de beers ... but it is not what I wanted. This is the most embarassing to admit - I find it too small (.5 carat). It is not about the $ spent (I had assumed that I would have to pay for my own ring as he is currently a student and I have been a banker for quite some years) - it is just that I knew what I wanted and I had the savings to buy what I wanted ... I guess I made the mistake of assuming we would have a discussion about it all beforehand.
I love him so much and he is so proud of his purchase (he is so clueless about women and jewellery etc). I am also really upset with the fact that I feel so much disappointment about the proposal and the ring ... I was so looking forward to these events and to telling all my friends and family and showing them the ring ... now I don''''t feel like I want to let anyone know or show them the ring because I feel like I can''''t hide my unhappiness.
Anyway, pls - any advice to get me through this???? I really need to know how to get over it/what to do etc ... I want to be over the moon happy and excited ...
I am so confused and upset. My boy (of 3 years) and I planned on getting married sometime next year. We hadn''''t talked details (rings etc) and there had been no official proposal (i.e. we had not told our parents etc of the plan) but I assumed we would get round to these details when the time was right (I did not feel that there was any particular rush and he is searching for a job so I thought it would happen once that was finalized). I also assumed that prior to any ring purchase, he would consult with me as to the type of ring I would like ... if I had known he would not, I would have definitely communicated my ideas.
Anyway, so last night, we planned to use a $100 voucher to a very nice restaurant. The restaurant was quite crowded and there were couples jammed either side of us. I was also in a bad mood because I was tired and had a bad day at work. Imagine my surprise when he produces this small box and says I have a present for you. Weirdly, I did not think that it contained a ring (I just thought chocolates - crazy I know) and so I opened it and there was a ring. Total surprise. I love him so much and do want to spend the rest of my life with him so I said yes.
I have to be honest though, for some reason, the proposal did not feel right. There was no privacy, I couldn''''t let myself be overcome with emotion, we were sitting so far apart and I was so concious of the couples next to us (who could overhear every word) - I wanted it to be just us somewhere we could truly open up and jump up and down about how excited we were instead it all just felt a bit sterile. In addition, it was some random dinner at some random restaurant that we ended up at because we were using a dinner voucher (and btw, I ended up paying for the amount we went over on the voucher, he will pay me back later - not that I would usually care at all as I make the most money and generally pay for us, it was just one more thing)! I felt disappointment with the whole proposal - I am embarassed to admit this but it doesn''''t change the fact.
I eventually look at the ring properly when we return home. It is really beautiful - he got it from de beers ... but it is not what I wanted. This is the most embarassing to admit - I find it too small (.5 carat). It is not about the $ spent (I had assumed that I would have to pay for my own ring as he is currently a student and I have been a banker for quite some years) - it is just that I knew what I wanted and I had the savings to buy what I wanted ... I guess I made the mistake of assuming we would have a discussion about it all beforehand.
I love him so much and he is so proud of his purchase (he is so clueless about women and jewellery etc). I am also really upset with the fact that I feel so much disappointment about the proposal and the ring ... I was so looking forward to these events and to telling all my friends and family and showing them the ring ... now I don''''t feel like I want to let anyone know or show them the ring because I feel like I can''''t hide my unhappiness.
Anyway, pls - any advice to get me through this???? I really need to know how to get over it/what to do etc ... I want to be over the moon happy and excited ...