Dust Needed - Final Settlement Offer to Ex-Husband

[LitigatorChick]

My Ex has been a royal pain in my a$$ as you all know. In our negotiations, we are down to a few monetary items. He is trying to pry every cent he can out of me, and I will only pay what is fair.

We calculated these items, and we are a few grand apart. I have sent an offer to him to "split the difference" between our calculations. This ends us with me paying more than I think I owe (or that a Court would order), but gets this done. I think it is more than fair.

But my ex is money starved and doesn''t like to compromise. I am so scared that he is going to reject my offer and I''m going to have to take him to Court. As a lawyer, I know how stressful and annoying the legal process can be. I don''t want that for me, my fiance, or my son.

Done venting. Just hoping today works out.

 

[dani2142]

I hope he accepts girlie. You just need to be able to move and and forget about it. Sorry you have to go through the pain of all of this. Just remember how amazing your future is going to be. Keep your head up!!!

 

[tyty333]

~~~Settlement Dust~~~

People can be a real PITA during a divorce...they just dont want to lose even when it actually cost them
more money and waste more time. I hope he comes to his senses.

 

[mayachel]

Hey LC,

I hope you are free and clear of the ex after yesterday. Wishing you well.

 

[ckrickett]

yeeeesh I really hope he accepts so you and your son and FI can get on with your life.

 

[FrekeChild]

Luckily you''re a lawyer, so I hope that you can avoid this, but I have seen far too many people turn down settlements from their husband/wife that would be cheaper than the lawyer fees they end up having to pay.

Divorce is not fun. Hope you update us on how it went!

 

[akmiss]

sending dust your way and good luck

 

[oddoneout]

I''m sending wishes that everything goes smoothly.

 

[Stone Hunter]

I too hope he takes the offer. I''m sure it will be better than him paying legal fees and then ending up with the smaller amount anyway! Good Luck!

 

[Luckyeshe]

*****DUST****** I hope everything worked out smoothly, LC!

 

[cocolaw]

ugh, sorry! so what''s the news?

 

[D&T]

Dust your way!!! i hope he accepts as well... What a pain, he sounds like my BIL''s ex wife trying to squeze every little dime as well

 

[bee*]

Sending lots of dust LC. Hopefully he''ll accept the offer.

 

[lliang_chi]

LC, lots of dust to you, I hope it ends okay. Do keep us posted

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Dust Dust!!

 

[LitigatorChick]

He ignored my offer. When I dropped off Miller on Saturday, I asked him why he didn''t reply. He said he was busy (not true), and he would reply Saturday or Sunday. I have seen no reply.

I''m so tired of this. The amount he is "giving up" on my offer is $1,000. Seriously. He will burn through that in a minute of legal fees. What an idiot......

I am really hoping to get an answer today.

 

[dani2142]

Date: 10/5/2009 10:44:15 AM
Author: LitigatorChick
He ignored my offer. When I dropped off Miller on Saturday, I asked him why he didn''t reply. He said he was busy (not true), and he would reply Saturday or Sunday. I have seen no reply.

I''m so tired of this. The amount he is ''giving up'' on my offer is $1,000. Seriously. He will burn through that in a minute of legal fees. What an idiot......

I am really hoping to get an answer today.

You said it. What an idiot. Good luck girlie!

 

[DiaDiva]

Sending you lots of dust so you can move on with your new life with fiance and your son.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Well, I have had about 3 hours sleep and have been puking pretty much non-stop. I am stressed to the max.

As I expected, my ex won''t compromise. Won''t move an inch off his position. Not a penny.

So I get his reply "offer" to pay him every ridiculous cent he says I owe him, and I become ill. Physically ill.

Unless I cave to him demands (which I know I can''t do, because it will never end and the demands will continue forever), I am taking this idiot to Court for everything.

I feel sick. I can''t get married to FI (who is mad at me right now - don''t even get me started), I have the additional work and stress of these Court proceedings, and with all this stress, I feel gross. I have been in that place of extreme stress before with the ex, and I know what it does to my body.

Feeling pretty awful today. I am at work, have puked once already, and now I have to give a seminar in 25 minutes. I want to curl up in bed with a teddy bear and cry until I have no more tears left.

 

[jcarlylew]

**hug**

i have no strong words of wisdom to offer, but instead strong hugs for you to know that we''re with you!

 

[tyty333]

(((Hugs LC))) You have got to start taking care of yourself. Is there anyway you can step back and look at this like
its someone else''s divorce that you are advising on. Seems like it would help to take some of the emotion out of it.
In these cases I always expect the worst then it always turns out better than I expected. I know that doesnt
sound very positive but thinking like this sometimes helps to keep my sanity.

 

[Porridge]

I''m am so sorry LC. {{{BIG HUGS}}}

Look at it this way - you''re nearly done with the bad karma, there must be loads of good stuff coming your way soon!

Take a break from all the awful stress, maybe plan something lovely with your FI one night this week (he may be mad at you now, but he''s still your FI, I''m sure he''d love the excuse to dote on you if you ask nicely

)

I hope this sucker sees the light before you drag his all all over the courts.

 

[blackbetty]

I''m so sorry! That''s really awful. He sounds like a world class loser. Glad you are on to better things.

 

[cleokizzy]

i''m so sorry litchick! i hope you feel better by now.

don''t have any useful advice, but i''m sending a (((BIG BEAR HUG))) to make you feel better!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Oh man. I am so sorry to hear this. What a jerk, class A.

Maybe you could just give? I mean, it''s not what you want to do...but if you can spare yourself his B.S and pay him off, $1,000 doesn''t seem like that much. Maybe draw up a contract saying this is the final pay off?

 

[honey22]

You mentioned something about being $1000 out, so why don''t you just give him the $1000? For your own happiness and sanity? I am sure that''s worth a thousand bucks. And in the end, when you are divorced and the settlement goes through, it will be over. He won''t be able to get you for anything else, so just let him have this one and move on.

Good luck sweetie.

 

[Allison D.]

Date: 10/6/2009 10:25:36 AM
Author: tyty333

Is there anyway you can step back and look at this like
its someone else''s divorce that you are advising on. Seems like it would help to take some of the emotion out of it.

I really have to agree with this. It feels like this is more about standing on ceremony than it is arriving at the least painful solution.

He isn''t the only one who will burn through the $1k in legal fees rapidly, so I don''t see how it makes sense to take him to court. You''re going to spend that $1k, whether it''s to him or to legal fees. While I''m sure you''d probably rather pay it to the courts than to him, it just doesn''t seem worth the aggravation and stress. Even if you win, you lose because you''ve held up your life and prolonged having to deal with him. Poor trade-off in my opinion.

The only ''win'' here for you is to be done with it as soon as you possibly can so you can move on with your life. I''m sure you can structure the terms narrowly enough so he has to agree there will be no further demands as a contingency of accepting this deal.

 

[oddoneout]

I''m so sorry it''s not going well. I''d have to agree that maybe you should give him the $1000 and somehow make it so he can''t ask for any more money. Good luck.

 

[tyty333]

I agree wtih the others...I didnt really understand what you were saying about the amount he was giving being
$1k. If thats the cost I would write the check and be done with the loser!

 

[Steel]

I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling so stressed.

I know you probably don't need a suggestion from me but here it is anyway:
Can you ask that he execute a document confirming that he will accept the amount of x + $1k, (x being the amount offered to date) in full and final settlement that way you can be confident it will end with this offer, and possibly to add that the penalty of non acceptance within say 10 days is his encumbrance of your legal costs at Court as non settlement will force you both to Court?

You are the Lawyer - what would you advise to get him to sign something to that effect before you make the offer?

ETA: I had badly phrased my thoughts.