baby question

[oddoneout]

If someone asks you about your baby plans how do you politely tell them it is none of their business?

Thanks

 

[NYCsparkle]

I usually just say....when it happens it happens....or to my mom---do i look pregnant yet...lol

 

[Pandora II]

I normally say:

It took me six years to cope with a snake that eats once a month and poops once a month. I''m now feeling responsible enough to look after an animal that poops numerous times a day and eats once a day - my hedgepigs, and now you''re asking about an animal that poops and eats numerous times a day.....hmmmmm

 

[musey]

Date: 4/21/2008 8:32:35 AM
Author:oddoneout
If someone asks you about your baby plans how do you politely tell them it is none of their business?

Thanks

I''m not all that private a person--for most issues, if someone asks, I usually answer (within reason, of course).

Whenever I get asked about baby plans my answer is usually simply "some day." If it''s a friend or family member, I share our actual tentative plans.

People are just curious. Unles it''s a touchy subject for you, there''s no harm in sharing

 

[Tacori E-ring]

People are noisy by nature. When dating they bug you about when you will get married. Once married about when you will have a baby. Once you have a baby about when you will have your next one (yes, people are already asking me!

) Like Musey I am a very open person so it doesn''t really bother me but I would just be vague about it if you want to keep it private but don''t want to come off rude. Say your still enjoying each other, aren''t ready, haven''t decided etc...

 

[Gemma12]

Date: 4/21/2008 7:58:19 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
People are noisy by nature. When dating they bug you about when you will get married. Once married about when you will have a baby. Once you have a baby about when you will have your next one (yes, people are already asking me!

) Like Musey I am a very open person so it doesn''t really bother me but I would just be vague about it if you want to keep it private but don''t want to come off rude. Say your still enjoying each other, aren''t ready, haven''t decided etc...

What Tacori said! People will never give up asking when you are going to take ''the next step'' as they see it to be. Personally I''m pretty private, we thought we would have trouble conceiving, and so I didn''t want to give too much away. I would usually make a joke out of it if it was someone I didn''t know well: ''Wow that came out of nowhere!'' and if they kept pushing (only happened a couple of times) I would smile and politely say ''We will let you know if we are expecting''. Of course for family it can be a bit harder. My DH''s grandma asked me when we were going to start a family-at our WEDDING!

I guess she figured well, now that the ceremony''s over....

!

 

[diamondfan]

You can always say that you are enjoying being married and have not really given it a lot of thought just yet.

 

[Elmorton]

I say "Not anytime soon"

 

[KimberlyH]

DH and I have discussed this subject at length but neither of us wants to share our plans with others, for many reasons. When people ask I respond with vague remarks such as "Someday" or "We''re not ready yet" or "If we have children it won''t be for a while." I totally understand it is natural for people to be curious, but I don''t want to think about my family members and friends wondering about things like our fertility. Espeically since family planning has become so much more common, down to charting cycles, compared to the days of my parents when pregnancy just sorta happened and most people didn''t find out until several months after the baby was conceived. In short, along with family planning (including whether or not a couple chooses to have children) comes a fair amount of invasiveness that I am not comfortable dealing with, so I don''t. Politely.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I am also astonished as to how forward people are. I have 1 son, who is almost 2, so everyone is asking me now when the next one is coming. If I was uncertain, I would be unsettled by this question, but the answer to me is quite clear and very certain - NEVER!!!

 

[Kaleigh]

I''d say, well we are still in the honeymoon phase, we''ll let you know when we decide to have children. Oh the nerve, people these days have no boundaries. They''ll ask you about just anything. Where are the manners. Gone I say, by the way side.

 

[gailrmv]

I''m dealing with this too. The honest answer that I usually say is "we haven''t decided yet" but this often leads people to give their opinions, which sometimes is fine, but sometimes I don''t care to hear!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

How about this....

oh, whenever the stork drops one off!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

When my DH and I were first married, I was a nurse in a nursing home and I was rather close with a patient...she used to always aske me when we were going to have a baby and I would tell her "Oh, I am way too young to be a mommy"! I would say it in a kidding sort of voice and she would always just laugh it off. Anyway, when the time came that I did become pregnant, she was so excited that you would have thought we were related!

Now I have three kids (2 boys and a girl) and people are always asking me "Don''t you think Caroline needs a sister"...it never ends, lol.

 

[diamondfan]

I wish there was a perfect not rude but makes the point clear that it is not going to be discussed option. The issue is some people lack that take a hint gene, and do not realize they were just nicely told to find another topic of conversation. So they push. I call them Grillers because they keep going at you til you say something they are satisfied with.

 

[ahappygirl]

Smile and shrug to strangers. Basically, no comment. Or, jokingly say: how well do I know you? (smile) Or, (big smile) YOU will be the FIRST to know. (sure) Or respond by asking them a question like Did you see it''s raining outside? Did you get caught in traffic on the way over here? etc.

 

[miraclesrule]

You could say that you just married one, so????

On the other hand, you could spring straight forward into controversy and say "Oh, we don''t intend to have kids. We don''t want to bring a child into this world" <-----My friend says this all the time and means it. Some people are horrified and some people are "Right on, whatever floats your boat"

Personally I prefer babies over animals, because I know at some point the baby will be potty trained and with a dog...I would picking up their crap forever. It''s just not for me.

It is really amazing that people have such...I prefer inquisitiveness over nosey...tendencies, but I think it is out of a need to bond and commune and connect, versus outright intrigue. It is a natural question, but can be touchy if a couple finds out they are infertile together. ::::shrugs:::::

Great topic though.

 

[Dandi]

My response used to typically be "nah I'm way too young yet". Now that I'm 26 (OOOOO, hear the body clock ticking?! NOT

) everyone, particularly my work colleages badger me constantly, now telling me that mid-to-late 20s is the best time for having a baby and that "you should start soon!" Should shmood, we'll do it when we're ready. Our housewarming present from DHs grandmother was a bag of beautiful, handknitted clothes... really really little ones

Then I tell them I want to pay off the house first (totally doable for us within the next 5 years), then they tell me, oooh you'll always have debt, don't let that stop you... AHHH! Then I give up and tell 'em I don't want any at all (I do, it's a last resort 'nick off!' line

) and enjoy the horrified responses

Can't a girl make up her own mind?? Never assume! Gives me the pip sometimes.

Date: 4/22/2008 1:01:02 AM
Author: miraclesrule
You could say that you just married one, so????

On the other hand, you could spring straight forward into controversy and say 'Oh, we don't intend to have kids. We don't want to bring a child into this world' <-----My friend says this all the time and means it. Some people are horrified and some people are 'Right on, whatever floats your boat'

Personally I prefer babies over animals, because I know at some point the baby will be potty trained and with a dog...I would picking up their crap forever. It's just not for me.

It is really amazing that people have such...I prefer inquisitiveness over nosey...tendencies, but I think it is out of a need to bond and commune and connect, versus outright intrigue. It is a natural question, but can be touchy if a couple finds out they are infertile together. ::::shrugs:::::

Great topic though.

HA! I like it, shall give that one a crack next time

Thanks!

 

[Haven]

If it''s a relative stranger and you want to be snarky yet within boundaries you could always say "we haven''t decided yet, but of course you''ll be first on our list to call when we do."

Maybe that''s not really staying within boundaries, though.

We aren''t even married yet and people ask us all the time because of my FI''s age. While I do think it''s a rude question to ask, we generally respond with "we haven''t yet decided" and leave it at that. If they persist, I''ll say something like "Wow, are you curious! If you''re trying to tell us you''d like to babysit then that might change our plans." (I''ve often been tempted to ask if my mother sent them, but I''ve always held that in.)

People are rude, but I like to think that it''s more that they have nothing better to talk about and less that they''re trying to pry.

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 4/22/2008 9:49:48 AM
Author: Haven
If it''s a relative stranger and you want to be snarky yet within boundaries you could always say ''we haven''t decided yet, but of course you''ll be first on our list to call when we do.''

Maybe that''s not really staying within boundaries, though.

We aren''t even married yet and people ask us all the time because of my FI''s age. While I do think it''s a rude question to ask, we generally respond with ''we haven''t yet decided'' and leave it at that. If they persist, I''ll say something like ''Wow, are you curious! If you''re trying to tell us you''d like to babysit then that might change our plans.'' (I''ve often been tempted to ask if my mother sent them, but I''ve always held that in.)

People are rude, but I like to think that it''s more that they have nothing better to talk about and less that they''re trying to pry.

I don''t know how to highlight in yellow, but if I could, I would be highlighting the " my mother sent them" Buahahahaha, I think I will start planting moles in my daughter''s office.