Resetting my engagement ring

[Daisy39]

Hello new here!

I got engaged April 2011. I had always wanted a solitaire but my sister in law convinced my husband to buy me a 3 stone. I won't bore you with all the details but it was a disaster from the start. She sent him to a bad jeweler and we ended up getting the center stone replaced by my jeweler I had always gone to (my parents have been going to him for 20+)
My engagement and first year of marriage are full of bad memories caused by my sister in law who grew up the princess in the family and extremely close to my husband. The pain she's causes has affected the way I view my ring and it really only brings me bad memories of those first two bad years. Now a baby and years later my husband and I have a stronger than ever bond and I brought up resetting my ring.
He told me he thinks it's a great idea and gave me the go ahead.

My worry is how to deal with people who find it sacrilegious to change it. I know that his sister will be the first and foremost leader of that parade. Has anyone encountered questions and comments about having done this? I don't want to tell people the real reasons behind my changing it. I don't like to speak badly about anyone and cause drama so I don't know how to best get people to understand my decision.

Side note****** any recommendations for a ring setting that will go nicely with a channel set band (round stones) OTHER than a channel set band e ring?

 

[liaerfbv]

I'm sorry you have bad feelings about your e-ring - that's no good for anyone! I honestly would just say "My husband and I thought it was time for change." -- and leave it at that. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

 

[Tekate]

I'd say we are celebrating our life together, our child(ren) and US! and move it on.. I think channel set baguettes look good withanything!

congrats.. life is strange and getting there and working at it makes the success all that much sweeter.. happy life!

 

[artdecolover71]

A ring is a wonderful symbol but we should love it, in my humble opinion! So I kind of think to each his own, have to do what feels right for you!

 

[LetItShine]

I wouldn't concern yourself with what others think. If someone says something derogatory you could just simply respond "I didn't marry the ring, I married the man". Hopefully that would shut them up If you like the two sides stones from your ring and they don't hold too much negative energy, you could reset those into a pair of earrings. You could use that as an excuse for a setting change also I think a plain solitaire would look nice with your channel set band. Sorry about your sister in law woes. Enjoy getting your diamond reset and get something you love!

 

[heididdl]

We have all done it here. I agree its between you and your husband there is no sacrelig....Its a piece of jewelry . As far as they are concerned your life style has changed with having a baby and settling into married life and together you both decided to select a new setting together. Let her think in her head it was her taste not yours but she'll never know for sure.

 

[PattyCo]

Don't say anything about it, just DO it.

And we can help, LOL! We love to help ! Do you just want to put your current diamond in the solitare setting, or did you want a new diamond? What budget are you two thinking of? Do you want the same shape diamond, or something different?

Here are a few threads to get the ol' juices flowing

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-solitaire.73489/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-solitaire.73489/[/URL]
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-settings.48721/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-settings.48721/[/URL]
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-rose-gold-solitaires.164581/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-rose-gold-solitaires.164581/[/URL]
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-to-halo-before-and-afters.130309/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/solitaire-to-halo-before-and-afters.130309/[/URL]

Different shapes
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/emerald-cuts-asschers-a-collection.113993/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/emerald-cuts-asschers-a-collection.113993/[/URL]
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-pears.27270/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-pears.27270/[/URL]
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-your-marquise-love.171011/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-your-marquise-love.171011/[/URL]

Here are some solitaire settings
http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/?MetalType=all&PageSize=15&OrderBy=Price

Some with sparkle
http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/pave/?MetalType=all&PageSize=15&OrderBy=Price

Halos
http://www.jamesallen.com/engagement-rings/halo/?MetalType=all&PageSize=15&OrderBy=Price


Did I say we love to help

 

[redroze]

I know how you feel….when I got married I worried about everything and what others thought. I almost didn’t buy my engagement ring setting because a frenemy claimed it as hers because she saw it first and liked it. I almost didn’t get it then did, and luckily I did as we’re no longer friends. I also worried it being too blingy as pave wasn’t as prevalent then, and everyone had solitaires. Sure enough, now pave and additionally halos are the thing and everyone has them.

Is your sil married? Maye she will upgrade one day too and you can take the higher road by not being judgmental when she does.

Choose what you want and wear it with grace and quiet confidence. People can only affect you if you left them.

 

[CharmyPoo]

Just do it! I am on my third ring and no one cares (not even the hubby). Do what makes you happy.

 

[KaeKae]

I'd say go ahead and make the change. If SiL notices, then hopefully she'll have the grace to compliment you, and you can simply say Thank you! If she questions, as others have said, It was time for a change.

I reset my original ering a few years ago. Only one person commented, that was my best friend, who said: "Hey, that's not your ering, did you reset? I love the white gold, I'd love to change to white gold, too!" This, from some one who used to spend plenty of time claiming how sentimental she was about her wedding set, until she got an anniversary band, and wore that all the time.
Really, just do what you and your husband want, don't worry about any one else.

 

[Daisy39]

Thank you all for the supportive words and ideas!!! I really appreciate it!

 

[Circe]

I haven't reset, but I've gotten additional rings, and only my father and one friend have ever commented. My dad used to be in the industry, and my friend just cocked her head and asked if it was bigger than she remembered ... when I said it was an anniversary/baby present, she said "Cool!" and left it at that. And no one, not her or anybody else, has said anything about the various bands, the one with the differently shaped center, or the colored solitaires. I think most people just aren't that observant!

That said, if the eagle-eyed evil SIL does say something, here's Circe's fool-proof technique for deflecting criticism, passive-aggression, and general bitchery:

After your initial response - all of those suggested above rock - just adopt the most innocently confused expression you can muster and keep saying, "I don't think I understand, "I'm not following you," "Could you say more?" Eventually, people dig themselves into a hole so deep that even they realize they're being appallingly rude. The trick is to maintain the poker face until the tipping point.

 

[tyty333]

If someone does ask why...don't make a big deal out of it. Just say you were
wanting a change. You don't really owe anyone an explanation.