Ladies: would you propose to your boyfriend?

[jewelz617]

If you were getting sick of waiting on pins and needles for a proposal, would you pop the question yourself? Or are you holding out for the ring presented while he''s on one knee

I never got a proposal. One day I literally just blurted out "Are you ever going to marry me? Because I''m not going to just date you forever."

 

[4ever]

I can wait untill he''s ready to do it himself, I don''t think he''d like it if I proposed, that''s taking away somthing from him that he want''s to be in control of and make special for me. I helped pick the ring so there''s no surprise there, I think the rest should be up to him.

 

[MrsHToBe]

I always ask Mr. H if he''ll marry me (really, like, if he makes a new amazing dinner, if he kisses my forehead out of nowhere, if he offers to put DD in bed, and her her a story, etc., etc.), but it''s never official.. more of a ''I-love-you-so-stinkin''-much-marry-me-please?'' sort of way. I think he''d be offended if I actually did propose instead of him getting to do it, though.

 

[Jessie702]

I have actually thought about it...its my second alternative if he doesnt ask by his birthday. Which is in feb. I have thought about not doing anything cheesy, but a simple ring that i know he will love, and me asking him one day while we are out to dinner. Im trying to hold out on this option, but if i have to, ill ask him.

 

[Circe]

I would, and I did - only sans the waiting in the first place part. I proposed spontaneously the minute I felt comfortable with the notion of "forever," and the first thing out of his mouth after he said "Yes!" was that the only reason he hadn''t already asked me was that he''d just been trying to accommodate my commitmentphobia.

 

[suny27]

When I am sane LOL I would never dream of proposing to my boyfriend. I know I''m ready for marriage and he knows I''m ready but I think the process of getting ready is different for guys or at least my guy. He has been a little slower than me during this relationship anyway so waiting for his proposal is giving him time to get to where i am. Then again now he has the ring and he says he can''t wait to get married so why isn''t that baby on my finger ........and so begins the insanity.

 

[Jessie702]

Date: 12/1/2009 5:17:40 PM
Author: suny27
When I am sane LOL I would never dream of proposing to my boyfriend. I know I''m ready for marriage and he knows I''m ready but I think the process of getting ready is different for guys or at least my guy. He has been a little slower than me during this relationship anyway so waiting for his proposal is giving him time to get to where i am. Then again now he has the ring and he says he can''t wait to get married so why isn''t that baby on my finger ........and so begins the insanity.

I understand that insanity, thats why i might cave and just ask him.....

 

[HopeDream]

My boyfriend says he''d be fine with me asking him. I think it seems like cheating though.

I want to be asked

 

[caribari]

I always threaten to

In all seriousness though, he has told me that proposing is something he wants to extensively plan out and make very special. I wouldn''t want to steal his thunder.

 

[misskitty]

Nope. I know that he''s really excited about planning/executing a proposal, and I wouldn''t want to ruin that moment for him. I can wait.

 

[fuzzers]

Personally I wouldn''t. Not only would I feel weird doing it, but he wouldn''t go for it. It''s the "guy''s job". The reason I would feel uncomfortable with it is this... if a guy is ready to marry you, he will ask. If not, he won''t ask. It''s common knowledge that in general, women are ready to get married before their men are. If I proposed to my boyfriend, the thought always at the back of my mind would be "Did I ask before he was ready?" or "Did he feel pressured into it?"

So, no.

 

[sillyberry]

I''ve already told him I''m not proposing - he has to do it himself!

Boy knows I would like to get married. I believe he would like to, at some point, but is not quite there yet. So asking him would seem like a bad idea.

Beyond that, however, I want the romance of a proposal. I love reading proposal stories and want one of my own. I''m not expecting skywriters or being whisked off to Paris, but it is important to me that he puts some thought into proposing and comes up with something meaningful.

Although, he''ll probably ask while we''re sitting on the couch watching House or something, and I''ll be thrilled.

 

[jewelz617]

I don''t know about all that now

My husband was relieved when I finally told him I wanted to get married. He was clueless about how to go about it. I think it''s a bit 1950''s to sit biting your nails for years waiting for a proposal. Different strokes!

 

[princesss]

Nope.

 

[CNOS128]

Back in the day, I used to threaten to propose. My then-boyfriend (now husband) told me if I proposed I wouldn''t get a ring -- so that shut me up pretty quickly.

He was calling my bluff, which he loves to do. Yeah, it worked.

 

[vc10um]

I almost have about 15 times, lol...but every time I stop myself because I know that it''s not the story I want to tell my children and my grandchildren. As independent and pro-active as I am, I''m actually content to take the back seat on this one.

 

[epicure]

Nope I would not. And he wouldn''t want me to either, so it works out for the both of us.

 

[noelwr]

yes, I always knew I would, and I did.

once I knew we were financially comfortable enough to pay for a wedding and I saved up enough for an engagement gift, I bought him an Omega watch he wanted, and I proposed to him (which I had to do at home because I had just arrived back from vacation that morning and was going on a business trip that night).

he said yes, and he was glad I asked because he was going to ask me two months later but didn''t know what ring to get! so I got to pick out my ring.

and all his colleagues were insanely jealous because he got an expensive watch out of it and they got nothing because they had to buy the ring. though I have to say right when I asked him, he didn''t even look at the watch and just wanted to smooch instead.

 

[katomm]

Yep and almost did. I had planned on doing it at a concert we were going to for his favorite band. About two weeks before the concert we had a major bump in our relationship that took a lot of working through. While I still knew I wanted to marry him, I think for him it was a turning point. He was definitely not ready for it at that point so I''m glad I didn''t ask. I did tell him what my plan had been though. He was emotional about it and said he would''ve said "yes." Then he told me to just wait till the time was right and that he wanted to be the one to do it. So I waited and it was definitely memorable.

 

[trillionaire]

I would propose, and plan a reciprocal proposal for my FI. I'm thinking that, the day that we move into our new place together, I will propose.

It's the whole, 'starting a new chapter together' thing, for me.

I think this topic lends nicely to an article that I saw yesterday.... about marriage proposals being dead. I'll post it in a new thread, for anyone who is interested...

link to thread...

 

[monkeyprincess]

I''m a bit of traditionalist, so no, I want him to do the proposing. This question reminds me of the SATC episode where Charlotte proposes and is horrified that she won''t have a good story to tell, so she changes the story and tells people he actually proposed when they were outside Tiffany''s.

 

[janinegirly]

No. There are so few traditions left or much mystique nowadays in modern relationships, I''d like to leave that one be. Men are lazy enough!

 

[Laila619]

Date: 12/2/2009 10:39:23 AM
Author: janinegirly
No. There are so few traditions left or much mystique nowadays in modern relationships, I''d like to leave that one be. Men are lazy enough!

Agree. No proposing for me.

 

[lilyfoot]

I''ve never been on pins and needles waiting for a proposal, so I can''t speak to those feelings.

As far as if I would propose, in this relationship, no I wouldn''t. If I was in a different one, possibly.

He was shy, and I was really the one that had to initiate taking certain steps in our relationship .. so this, I''m leaving up to him

I do plan to propose back to him at some point though, I think it''s only fair that he gets a special moment too.

 

[2shy]

No, I have thought about it in the past, as in, " I wonder how I would do it" Kind of thing, but I wouldnt actually do it. Him asking is important to me.

 

[jewelz617]

I just know that most of my friends had already went ring shopping, discussed marriage, their boyfriends had purchased rings, some had even started hunting for a wedding venue. But when I asked them when they had gotten engaged, they all said "I''m waiting for him to surprise me." I just don''t understand where the "surprise" element factors in there if all the details have already been planned out. When I said "Why don''t you just ask him?" some stared at me like I had 3 heads!

True, my proposal lacked romance. But I just felt like it was time and I wanted to get married. Luckily my fantastic husband''s answer was "Yes! Of course we can get married!" But then again, I got married at city hall in pants and a cardigan

I definitely did the no frills avenue. I don''t regret it, but I''m seeing the general consensus here is that it''s not what most women would do. But I LOVE grand proposal stories! And I think it''s sweet when the guy plans out a cute proposal

 

[Callisto]

You know what depending on who I was with I might. I asked a guy to prom when I was in high school so I''m definitely not opposed to stirring things up. However, in my current relationship I think SO would be offended if I didn''t let him do it. He wants that, so I shall wait until he''s ready.

 

[MermaidKelly]

Date: 12/1/2009 4:20:55 PM
Author: MrsHToBe
I always ask Mr. H if he''ll marry me (really, like, if he makes a new amazing dinner, if he kisses my forehead out of nowhere, if he offers to put DD in bed, and her her a story, etc., etc.), but it''s never official.. more of a ''I-love-you-so-stinkin''-much-marry-me-please?'' sort of way. I think he''d be offended if I actually did propose instead of him getting to do it, though.

I''m glad I''m not the only one LOL!

I always joke with my guy in the same way! I would never ''officially'' propose though, that''s his job!

 

[LilyKat]

No, because I''m kind of neurotic and would always wonder whether or not he really wanted to, or just said yes to avoid hurting my feelings.

To be honest, we both know we want to marry each other. When the time is right, he''ll ask.

 

[bee*]

Date: 12/2/2009 11:41:59 AM
Author: Laila619

Date: 12/2/2009 10:39:23 AM

Author: janinegirly

No. There are so few traditions left or much mystique nowadays in modern relationships, I''d like to leave that one be. Men are lazy enough!

Agree. No proposing for me.

Yeah that''s how I feel too. I wouldn''t have proposed to my DH and I was happy enough to wait until he was ready.