How often do you talk?

[akw94]

Just wondering how often you talk to your bf, for those not living together?
I am feeling a little annoyed lately about this topic. I feel like most times when he calls, it''s b/c he wants something specific, rather than just calling to talk. We probably talk every other day, sometimes more given the week, but I feel like I always have something I want to share with him and I wonder how often he feels the same. We always talk a lot when we are on the phone but I wouldn''t mind him initiating a little more often.

 

[ladykemma]

my hubby and i talk everyday on the phone. usually the calls start out as "reporting" important stuff like i paid the bills today and we need a new roof.

then as we relax we start laughing and joking around. hanging out.

 

[Mandarine]

Every day!!!!

At least once....usually at night but sometimes during the day. During the day we almost only e-mail each other. At night we sometimes call back and forth 3-4 times, depends on the night.

Every other day?? I would go insane!!

M~

 

[RoseAngel04]

My ff and I don't live together and talk daily on the phone. I can't remember a single day that we didn't talk on the phone. If we didn't hear from another that would be one strange day. I'd assume the worst that there was an accident of something. He calls me in the morning on his way to work

. I have a specific ringer just for him only so I know when he's calling my cell and everytime it rings I run to answer to talk to my man!

So all in all I think we normally talk at least 3 times a day. Once in the mornings, usually when we're both at work/school, he calls when he gets off work most of the time, and at night (usually several times b/c we'll get off the phone to go do something and then call each other back). Then of course right before bed!

I think different couples have different phone "schedules" just depending on what works for them. My ff and I are bestfriends so we like to talk to one another often!

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Every single day! We''re LD right now and before he left I laid down the law that even when he''s working 15 hour days he can''t possibly be too busy to give me at least five minutes. (OK, I know, I need way more than five minutes, but he got the point.) Sometimes we talk more than once...Especially since I''m off during the summer except for my Master''s courses...so sometimes I bug him and have a quick chat while he''s at work, and on the weekends we''ll usually talk in the morning or afternoon and at night before we go to bed. I would go nuts with every other day too!

 

[biokatie]

We talk at least 1-2 times a day on the phone. It is not long...maybe 10 minutes in the evenings. We see each other usually 4-5 times a week. Yesterday he didn''t phone til 8PM and I was a bit ticked but I didn''t call him first.

 

[amyg]

I am no longer a LIW, but before we got married we absolutely talked every single day on the phone, a day never went by tht we didn''t, and we saw each other almost every day, even if was just for a few minutes, one of made the effort to stop by and at least say good night, but we did live relatively close to each other, the only time we didn''t see each other is if one of us was out of town...we really couldn''t stand to be away from each other...

 

[robbie3982]

My bf and I have been together for a year and have only been living together for about a month. We spent the rest of our relationship long distance, only seeing eachother on the weekends.

When we first started dating we talked all the time. I got on AIM as soon as I woke up (this was before I had a job) and would talk to him all day on there while he was at work (they used to be allowed to use it at work). We would continue talking on AIM after he got home from work until 9 and then would talk all night on the phone until around 1 am. I''m actually surprised at how long we were able to keep that up.

We eventually settled into a few morning text messages, emails throughout the day (this is once I got a job), talking on AIM for a bit when we got home from work, and then on the phone for about an hour before bed.

We always talked every day. I can''t imagine going a day w/o talking to my sweetie.

 

[eleguin]

I would say basically every idle moment we have, like when I was walking home from school, he was walking home from work, while driving, etc. Anytime we have a spare moment we like to call each other. He started that habit actually because I was used to talking to a boyfriend maybe once a night before him, but when we started dating, we called maybe 10 times a day just cause he was walking from point A to point B. I got used to it and now I really like talking all throughout the day.

 

[appletini]

I let my DH make the calls, I call him occassionally if I need to, but he has always called me several times a day, even if he''s out of the country on business. During the workweek its usually a morning call, lunch, and afternoon on his way home (and before we were married several times in the evening), if its a slower day then he''ll call more. We don''t talk on the phone for extended periods of time, usually its just short and sweet to say i love you. If we have a 10 minute conversation its a miracle. When we first started dating, he''d rather talk to me in person than on the phone, so he''d just call to make an excuse to see me, even if it was just going to starbucks.

 

[firebirdgold]

My ff and I talk on the phone a minimum of 3 times a day. Although usually not for more than 10 minutes as he doesn''t really like phones. We also IM on and off throughout the day when he''s at work. And we chat on World of Warcraft in the evenings and usually play together. (of course, rather embarrasingly, we''ll do this even when we''re together. it''s easier than shouting over the sounds of dying orcs.) We also try to have at least one meal together, if I''m up on the hill where he works we''ll usually have lunch together too. And we probably stay over at each other''s house at least 4 times a week. We live about 20 minutes away from each other.

 

[ephemery1]

My fiance and I have never been long-distance, so after we were past those first few weeks of "just dating", we started talking on the phone at least once a day and on IM even more often than that. By the time we''d been together about 6 months, we still talked on the phone probably once during the day, but were together by dinner-time almost every night. I agree with the others that if a day went by where we hadn''t spoken at all, I would probably think something was wrong. But everyone''s different! I actually talk to my best friend on the phone 2-3 times a day, and on text and email even more than that. I guess I''ve just got a lot to say!

 

[Angela1977]

Well, we work together...he''s my partner, so we talk about 8 hours a day, and then usually at least twice at night if we''re not together...and he calls me every morning to say "good morning, I love you" and ask if I want something to eat

. He calls me every night right before bed, even if I''m asleep just to say "good night and I love you". Now that I write it out, it seems like a lot, huh?
I love him...I can''t WAIT to be married, just so we''ll be living together!

 

[larussel03]

Fi and I are both not big phone people, so when we didnt live together we''d talk maybe a few mins every day or every other day. When I go on vacations or he goes on vacations we pretty much do not call each other, maybe once or twice. I have a friend who is always on the phone with her bf, they talk nonstop all the time when they''re not together. It''s cute, just not for me though--FI and I are much better in-person talkers.

 

[aussiegirl23]

Before my FF and I lived together, we would plan on seeing each other most days, if only at school. We''d talk every day pretty much - not that long, since we woudl be seeing each other that day too. Now that we live together, we typically check in once during the day - it''s not set in stone and sometimes it doesn''t happen. No biggie. Neither of us is big ''phone people,'' so sometimes we just don''t call each other. We save the ''catching up'' until we both get home from work...

However, when my FF is out in the field, whether it be overnight or for several weeks at a time, we talk when we can. Sometimes he can''t get access to a phone, or if he''s still in the US, his cell phone doesn''t always get good reception. So I''ve got be patient - somehting I''ve gotten much better at. I understand it''s his job - there''s nothing he can do about it. But then when he does get a chance to call, it''s all the more special! Once in a while, I get a call from the gun range, or another location equally unsuitable for phone conversations... but it''s sweet when he calls me in the midst of rocket-launchings : ) He''s thinking about me!

I guess we both know that we love each other, know that ''news'' and the day''s happenings can wait until we do get a chance to talk to each other... We know plenty of other people who speak MUCH more, but we''re content with checking in less often.

Aussiegirl : p

 

[snuga]

When my boyfriend and I were long-distance, we would talk every other day, depending on how many phone cards we could afford at the time and what cell phone plan we had.. etc...
now that we are no longer long distance, we talk AT LEAST 2 times daily, if we are not together.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Since we only see one another on weekends, we talk TONS every day. During the school year, he wakes up earlier than I do, so he calls me in the mornings. This summer, he's called me at work just to say good morning. We talk a few times throughout the day, and when he's teaching, he will sometimes call when he's not on lunch duty. I always get spoiled over the summer, though. He likes to just call and say hi, or he'll send a text message a while I'm at work. We talk once we're off work, and at least once at night. We read the Bible together every night and we always talk right before we go to bed, so we can pray together.

His brother just loves to tease him about how he's "whipped" because he can't go more than a few hours without hearing from me. I don't think it's a matter of being "whipped" as much as it's a matter of being in love with your best friend.

His mom says she knew he *reealllllly* loved me when he changed his cell phone carrier so we could talk free, whenever. He was never a phone person before we met. You'd never know it now!!

 

[RoseAngel04]

Date: 7/28/2006 5:56:01 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Since we only see one another on weekends, we talk TONS every day. During the school year, he wakes up earlier than I do, so he calls me in the mornings. This summer, he''s called me at work just to say good morning. We talk a few times throughout the day, and when he''s teaching, he will sometimes call when he''s not on lunch duty. I always get spoiled over the summer, though. He likes to just call and say hi, or he''ll send a text message a while I''m at work. We talk once we''re off, work, and at least once at night. We read the Bible together every night and we always talk right before we go to bed, so we can pray together.

His brother just loves to tease him about how he''s ''whipped'' because he can''t go more than a few hours without hearing from me. I don''t think it''s a matter of being ''whipped'' as much as it''s a matter of being in love with your best friend.

Aw Fisher that''s great that ya''ll read the Bible and pray together nightly! You''re an inspiration to me.

Lol...and I TOTALLY agree with you about the whole "whipped" thing. Some people just don''t understand!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

RoseAngel,

We started in January and each got the One Year Bible, where it''s broken into 365 segments. That way, we get to read the Old Testament, the New, Psalms, and Proverbs every day. Every other time I''ve tried to get through the Bible, I''ve gotten bogged down in with the Old Testament and given up. It''s just filled with so MANY people and events!

The best part of us readaing together is that Paul does a re-cap of what we learned the day before for me when I''ve forgotten, especially when it''s an OT portion that is ladden down with lineage and the stuff that confuses me out of my mind. Once it becomes habit, it''s something you really look forward to. Of course, there are times we forget, so we have to double up the next day. It''s also fun to see what the other gets out of it. I''ve always enjoyed that.

They also have a lot of devotion books that are good for couples. I love that time to delve into one another''s thoughts and walk.

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 7/28/2006 3:14:58 PM
Author:dixie94
Just wondering how often you talk to your bf, for those not living together?

I am feeling a little annoyed lately about this topic. I feel like most times when he calls, it''s b/c he wants something specific, rather than just calling to talk. We probably talk every other day, sometimes more given the week, but I feel like I always have something I want to share with him and I wonder how often he feels the same. We always talk a lot when we are on the phone but I wouldn''t mind him initiating a little more often.

I prbably talk to mine every day, but we live in the same town. If we go a day without talking, I start missing him. But usually I try to keep the conversations very short and to the point because like many guys, mine is not a phone person. A lot of guys are like you are saying--call only when they want something specific. Girls a very detail oriented and always have something new to tell their b/fs. Guys on the other hand stick to the main points and are through with it. A lot of couples get in fights over the girl wanting to be on the phone more than the guy, but I really just think it''s a different in communication styles between genders. Don''t worry. He probably wants to know what you have to say even if he doesn''t have anything to add to the conversation.

 

[sk8rjen]

Before we moved in together a year ago, we talked every day and usually saw each other every day. We are lucky in that we lived within 10 minutes of each other, so we''d see each other even if it was brief. From the time we had been dating for 3 months on, we actually stayed with each other every night... we might as well have lived together back then! When the boys were at their dad''s house for the night, I''d stay at Matt''s place. On the other days, he stayed with us ... boys loved him from the start, so it wasn''t an issue (I suppose it would have been an issue if we broke up though!)

I''d have gone crazier than I already am if I only got to speak to him every other day at ANY point!

jen
(we met on a saturday, went on our first date that sunday and saw each other that first week 6 out of 7 days... once you start like that, I guess it''d be hard to go back -- we are certainly not the norm, though)

 

[firebirdgold]

Date: 7/28/2006 5:56:01 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly


His mom says she knew he *reealllllly* loved me when he changed his cell phone carrier so we could talk free, whenever. He was never a phone person before we met. You''d never know it now!!

LOL That''s when my parents knew we were going to get married. We both switched phone carriers and got a joint family plan together.

 

[galeteia]

We''re more or less in contact most of the day. I usually have access to a computer, so we are online together, and we talk a bit before bed to say goodnight, except it always ends up being an hour or two, which is hard on my pocketbook!

So we are probably out of contact for maybe 4-5 hours of wakeful time a day. That isn''t to say we talk nonstop for the rest of the time, but we are in contact.

I imagine that long-distance couples spend more time conversing than local couples, because we can''t just snuggle on the couch and watch a movie in companionable silence.

 

[monarch64]

Dixie, when I first met my now husband, we lived 3 hours apart. We talked on the phone every night, getting to know each other more and more. Now, I am not a phone person whatsoever, but during the four months we dated long-distance I found it was a great thing to talk to him every night without fail and learn more about him as a person instead of the lust thing getting in the way had we been together, hee hee.

When we moved in together (I moved up to Chicago), he started calling me at work, or whenever he had a free minute. It was nice at first, but then I noticed he always said "I''m just touching base" like he felt he HAD to call me but didn''t really have anything to say. It literally drove me NUTs. Like I said before, I am not a phone person, unless I really have a need to tell someone something. I had a really hard time with getting him to understand that he didn''t need to do this, but that I liked hearing his voice at the same time. It was a fine line between me feeling loved and, well, bothered.

We finally had a talk about it and I told him my feelings, and we discussed why he felt it was important for him to stay in touch, and I told him why I felt like I was being a little "smothered." Everything worked out fine, and since then not a day has gone by for 5 years where we havent'' talked to each other via

phone, it''s just fewer calls, or maybe just one or two calls when he travels to let me know he''s ok. (That is to say, the phone calls have a reason behind them now.)

I guess I''m the opposite of you...I feel that if I don''t have anything of significance to discuss, I won''t call him, but he feels like he just needs to connect with me. It sounds like you guys are the other way around. To me, it''s just one of those things in a relationship that can be pretty easily discussed and fixed, I think.

 

[bee*]

We''re kind of in contact throughout the whole day. He rings when he gets into work in the morning, and then we talk at lunch time and then when we get home from work, sometimes with emails throughout the day too. Then we usually meet in the evening and take my doggie for a walk, and then he''ll ring me before he goes to bed to say night. I''d really miss him if we didnt talk to each other for a day

 

[sumbride]

Date: 7/28/2006 7:40:07 PM
Author: IndieJones

Date: 7/28/2006 5:56:01 PM

Author: fisherofmengirly

His mom says she knew he *reealllllly* loved me when he changed his cell phone carrier so we could talk free, whenever. He was never a phone person before we met. You''d never know it now!!

LOL That''s when my parents knew we were going to get married. We both switched phone carriers and got a joint family plan together.

Me too! We had the same carrier but we combined our accounts into a family plan at the beginning of the year and my mom said "Now THAT''S a commitment!"

M was kind of upset about it though because the account is in my name so his phone number is now in my name... I had to have them change the caller ID info so that he could call people without it showing my name, but I did point out that our home phone is in HIS name, so hey...

I think one of the best things about living with M is that I don''t have to rely on the phone for our togetherness. The boy does not give good phone! We were in a semi-long-distance relationship for almost 3 years before we moved in together, and though we talked every night and emailed all day, it still didn''t feel like enough of a connection because the phone calls were more "so what did you do today?" We talk on the phone more often now than we actually did before we lived together, but it''s more like "what do you want for dinner?" and "did you make a vet appt. for the cat?" I know I can talk about the emotional stuff in person when we get home, and that''s awesome. If I hadn''t been able to see him over the weekends while we were dating, only relying on the phone, I don''t think we would have made it, but I''m glad we did!

When we travel without each other, we don''t talk on the phone much. Maybe once a day if we''re still in the US, but when I went to Mexico for a week, he called me once about my sick cat and I emailed him a couple of times, but I maintain the "no news is good news" policy. When he was in France, we just emailed occasionally. I like that we''re strong enough to go a couple of days without talking, but not in a malicious way, of course.

 

[Mara]

when greg and i were dating and not living together, we talked daily, sometimes more than once a day, but at least always at night we spoke. however, neither of us are phone people at all and greg especially is not one, so we didn't just really hang out on the phone and talk. we'd much rather go out and see each other for dinner if that's the case or whatever. most times our convos would just be a 10 minute how was your day, whats the plan for tomorrow night kind of thing.

also, honestly, i think for many men they don't have that same 'have to share this funny story' gene that women do, esp on the phone. greg would hardly ever call me to talk about stuff like that...but that is just how he is. it sounds to me like you are possibly noting these differences between you and your boyfriend that you aren't sure you are happy with.... aka you want to call to share your funny day details or stories that made you think of him and he is calling to ask when the appt is for xyz. he is one way, and you are another. it's not unusual at all IMO. but it's something you should definitely consider more if you are thinking about engagement and long-term because it's hard to change someone...do you feel like maybe he doesn't think of you as often during the day as you think of him? or as fondly like 'oh my god i have to tell him that!'. to me that's another male/female thing....and i don't think you should take it personally...

 

[allycat0303]

Well I''m not sure what you mean by talk. My boyfriend typically calls me about 2-3 times during his work day, just to say "Hi. I''m thinking of you, miss you" but that''s not actually talking. When he comes to pick me up after work, he''ll tell me about his day, and I''ll like regurgutate every SINGLE detail of my day. He doesn''t share every single detail, but that''s cool with me...just the major highlights.

 

[akw94]

Darn it, darn it, darn it!
I just posted and went to send it but it didn''t go through.

Anyway, the jist was to say THANKS for all the responses. You guys gave me lots of perspective and I do think that w/us it''s just a difference in communication styles, probably gender based. I am very happy w/him though, and I''m ready for us to live together, which will solve this whole problem!! I think I start to focus on the little things when I am overly stressed, as I''ve been feeling lately. I did bring that up though so we''ll see. I just don''t want to place too much focus on something that normally doesn''t bother me at all.

Thanks again!

 

[bobacha]

We''re an LD couple.. and we talked at least once a day.. he calls me everynight unless he''s really really tired and slept early.. but I think in our 4.5 years of long distance .. the longest time I didn''t talk to him was 3 days.. and that''s when I was out of the country..

but during work hours I usually give him a couple 2-5 mins phone call just to say hi .. or reminded him to eat lunch, asking him what he''s planning to do afterwork, etc.

now .. during our nightly call.. even thugh he''s the one who calls me, usually i do most of the talking and "reporting".. he listens most of the time.. sometimes i wish he''d tell me more about his day.. his coworkers.. his neighbors ,.. any gossip haha but he sticks to the important stuffs.. he said why would he bother telling me stuffs that he doesn''t even care about ..