question...what do ladies do with their X husband''s e-ring..

[Dancing Fire]

keep it,sell it,give it back ?

 

[cflutist]

vtigger86, you must have started this thread just for me. I sold that 2.05 D-VS2 after I married websailor. My ex had an affair and ran off with that b***h (who also happened to be married). Hey, he kept his Rolex President (which I paid for BTW) so I kept the diamond. If you are a Judge Judy fan you'll know that an e-ring is given in contemplation of marriage so once you marry the guy, the ring is yours even if he divorces you. But if either of you break off the engagement, the e-ring should be returned.

Life is so much better with websailor. In fact it is our 7th wedding anniversary this weekend.

 

[sluke]

Happy Anniversary Cflutist!

My ex's ering is in my mother's safe deposit box. After the breakup, Mom figured I would through the ring away.

I love my current ering much better...almost as much as the man who gave it to me

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'm still married, but know that my grandmother kept her rings after her divorce and plans to pass the rings down to us girls. Weird one: my friend kept her wedding ring from her first marriage and wears it as part of her wedding set in her second marriage. She seems to be okay with this, but this is bizarre to me! lol

I wouldn't give my rings back if DH and I divorced. I doubt we will as we've been through so much and held up through thick and thin, through illnesses and all, but if something happened I'd expect my eng. diamond and the stone I have from my mom's ring to each be passed down to one of my sons, if either would like these, or grandchildren, if the boys decided to purchase their own or whatever.

Michelle

 

[Dancing Fire]

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On 8/11/2004 1:08:17 AM cflutist wrote:

vtigger86, you must have started this thread just for me. I sold that 2.05 D-VS2 after I married websailor. My ex had an affair and ran off with that b***h (who also happened to be married). Hey, he kept his Rolex President (which I paid for BTW) so I kept the diamond. If you are a Judge Judy fan you'll know that an e-ring is given in contemplation of marriage so once you marry the guy, the ring is yours even if he divorces you. But if either of you break off the engagement, the e-ring should be returned.

Life is so much better with websailor. In fact it is our 7th wedding anniversary this weekend.----------------

cflutist
looks like you got the better end of the deal,the 2 ct d vs2 diamond is worth a lot more than the watch,i pay for my own rolex president so just in case i think i get to keep my watch.
happy 7th anniversary hmmm....7 yr ITCH ?,oops shouldn't of say that just in case websailor see this post...just kidding...hope many more to come for you.

 

[websailor]

For some ex's the proper response is "BURN IT! It's carbon after all".

Just kidding to get a rise out of the PS regulars

 

[Sparkster]

I've always believed that if you divorce, you keep the ring.


If you break up with your fiance before the wedding, you give it back.


If he breaks up with you before the wedding, you keep it.

 

[ame]

My ex cheated on me with almost 25 women he met online. Luckily I hadn't married him yet. I kept the ring, and refused to give it back, and sold it for a little under what it was worth. I used the money to pay off debt racked up by moving to PA to be with him after college.

 

[jnt]

Well, here is a guys point of view from my first marriage.

My ex cheated on me, no, I am not talking about the "I think she was" I had all out proof. Happened on more than one occasion with up to 2 men.

I had purchased her a nice tiffany & co e-ring. 19K nice. matching plat bands.

Technically per the decree, she got the ring and her wedding band, I gave her my wedding band even though it was awarded to me in the decree, why? Because it meant nothing to me. The E-ring meant nothing. I would rather her have it and it haunt her than to have it myself.

 

[Rowan]

Well for me when I was a dumb young kid and got engaged, we broke up and before I had a chance to even give back the ring, he used his key (which stupid me hadn't gotten back yet

) and got into my room and stole every piece of jewelry he had ever given me during our two year relationship. I'm talking EVERYTHING-birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, you name it. I had also given him a ring which he refused to give back. About five years after the fact, I guess he decided to let bygones be and mailed me the ring, which I sold.
Now, I know a lady who was married for something like 13 years and after she got divorced she said she deserved to keep that diamond after putting up with him all those years and had a very unique right hand ring made and set with her old diamond and another one. It's nice and now she has a nicer diamond e-ring from her new husband.

 

[wonka27]

You have to be careful about keeping the ring before you get married if you break up.

Most cases, an engagement ring is a conditional gift. Therefore the condition of marrage must be satisfied, or it should go back.

However, if the guy is too dumb to know...then keep it.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

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On 8/11/2004 11:00:04 AM ame wrote:

My ex cheated on me with almost 25 women he met online. Luckily I hadn't married him yet. I kept the ring, and refused to give it back, and sold it for a little under what it was worth. I used the money to pay off debt racked up by moving to PA to be with him after college.----------------

Whoo hooo, Ame! Good for you.

Glad you found out before you married him. What a jerk.

 

[ame]

I just love that he doesn't think he did anything wrong.

 

[sevens one]

Jnt and AME, I am very sorry for what you went through. (and Cflutist)

Happy Anniv Cflutist.
So what's it going to be? Fine dining or peanut shells on the floor???

 

[jnt]

stevens one...yep, sucked at the time...but things are MUCH better now.

 

[cflutist]

----------------
Happy Anniv Cflutist.
So what's it going to be? Fine dining or peanut shells on the floor???----------------

Actually a little of both. He'll probably want to eat at McDonalds, but I made sure he made reservations at an Italian resturant in an 150 year old building in the California Gold Country on the actual date of our anniversary. And after Wink just cleaned us out today for my anniversary present, we are staying in a Best Western!!!!!

 

[hoorray]

So what is this anniversary present? Don't we getpics?

 

[Dancing Fire]

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On 8/11/2004 7:41:47 PM cflutist wrote:

----------------
Happy Anniv Cflutist.
So what's it going to be? Fine dining or peanut shells on the floor???----------------

Actually a little of both. He'll probably want to eat at McDonalds, but I made sure he made reservations at an Italian resturant in an 150 year old building in the California Gold Country on the actual date of our anniversary. And after Wink just cleaned us out today for my anniversary present, we are staying in a Best Western!!!!!
----------------

cflutist
don't worry about dinner and hotel ,just stay & dine at the most expensive in the area ,because i'am sure Wink feels guilty about cleaning you out, he will pick up the tap.

 

[Hest88]

I kept mine for years, just because I was too lazy to do anything about it. By that time it had as much value to me--sentimental or material--as a soda ring, so when my now DH and I got engaged I told him to take the ring to the nearest pawn shop and we used the money for a nice dinner!

Granted, it was not a really nice stone. Maybe I would have tried to get more money from it if it had been.

 

[innerkitten]

I don't have an ex husband. But I would guess that if it's a family ring or diamond you give it back and otherwise probably keep it.

Who here has been in that situation?

 

[innerkitten]

wow I just read some of the stories posted, those are some bad break ups! The whole cheating things is really awful. If people can't stand to be around husband / wife/ fiance, or they feel things are't working out either work it out or break up with them instead of doing stuff behind their backs, know what I mean.

 

[Jennifer5973]

Infidelity is awful. I watched my father commit adultery with a bimbo after 25 yrs with my mother. I don't get it. If you want out, then hey--get out and just up and leave ...but to grind the other person's self respect and dignity into the dust... not to mention what it did to the rest of our family-- it was 100X worse than a plain old divorce would have been...ugh. My parents had problems that were both their faulks, no doubt...But my father's behavior really went beyond the pail.

My mom had to sell her ering to help set herself up in a new home and pay her lawyers--my father cleaned them out financially too if you can believe that. It was exquisite-- a 2.5 ct pear, f, clean as a whistle, in classic plat with tapered baguettes. She had a very pretty RB from my stepdad--don't know specs. I don't know what pig-vomit (the wh*re my father took up with has

)

ame--THANK GOD you found out BEFORE you married--this happened to a friend of mine...but it was after the wedding..he was having multiple affairs with several women at the same time, all through their relationship, engagement, wedding.... HORRIBLE situation.

 

[websailor]

There are horror stories - my ex and I were one, but we won't go there. The money we spent on lawyers (her choice) could buy a number of stunning stones.

There are also people who still treat each other decently - such as cfulist and her ex. While he did do something that killed the marriage, they each were great about the actual split. In fact, quite a bit later, when I came into the picture, he lent his truck to us so I could move in with cflutist.

There are also stories like my Mom and Dad - when they got married and had us, they were great together. But over the years, society changed, and so did their aspirations and dreams....just not them. By the time they got divorced, it was the best thing for both of them...and they are each much happier people now.

 

[DiamondDust]

Rowan, we believe the same thing just happen to our daughter. They broke up, she went to move and the ring is gone. She believe's her ex took it with him when he left. I have a friend that just bought, what is said to be someone's ex e-ring off of Ebay. When looking at it under a loop the thing is Lazer Inscribed. Now she's afraid to take it to a have it sized for fear the ring was stolen. It didn't state it was inscribed in the auction and they won't answer her Emails.

 

[goldengirl]

From what I understand, if YOU break off the engagement, you should return the ring. If he breaks off the engagement, you may keep the ring. If you divorce, you may keep the ring.

If I broke it off amicably, I would return the ring. In any of the other situations, I'd keep it--and if we split because of any infidelity, I'd definitely sell it!

 

[LGail]

I was engaged a few years back and I gave the ring back to him.

When my mom and Dad divorced, my mom took the center stone out of her ring and put it into a different setting in which she wears on her right hand. She took the setting with side stones and placed a saphire in the middle and gave it to her mom (my grandma) for mothers day.

 

[CaptAubrey]

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On 9/2/2004 4:58:04 AM goldengirl wrote:





From what I understand, if YOU break off the engagement, you should return the ring. If he breaks off the engagement, you may keep the ring. If you divorce, you may keep the ring.

----------------

not quite. most if not all states have laws governing this, and in most cases, they are no fault--that is, if the engagement ends, the ring must be returned regardless of the circumstances. otherwise it becomes a he-said, she-said about who broke the engagement.

 

[lmurden]

If I had children with my husband I would wear the entire wedding set on my right hand to symbolize to my children that I will always love my X because he is the father of my children. Other than that I would give the ring back and move on.

I actually know someone who tried with a vengeance to keep the engagement ring after the guy broke up with her even though she knew it was his grandmother's ring. He got the ring back 6 months later only after his mother made several calls and begged and cried for the ring to be return.

 

[Rowan]

DiamondDust, that's awful! I'm sorry for your daughter.

 

[DiamondDust]

Thanks Rowan, It was a hard lesson for her. He even emptied her bank account through her ATM card. I spent some time sitting on her father ...LOL ... We felt he was wrong for her but you hate to see it end that way.
All we can do is hope she learned from this and that there is better days ahead for her.