karasue91
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2007
- Messages
- 904
Hi there, I''m usually over in BWW but I''ve lurked around this board a bit, and I thought I would see what kind of advice you guys might have for me? FI has smoked for almost 20 years, which is over half his life (he''s 33). When we first got together it was a bit of a dealbreaker for me, but I never imagined things would get serious so I tolerated it. When things started getting serious I told him this was a big deal for me. When things got REALLY serious, he promised he would stop before our wedding.
Our wedding is 2 months away. He has *pretty much* quit smoking for the past 2 months or so, but he just can''t seem to take it that last step and quit altogether. Of course, going out and drinking is usually the trigger that makes him want to bum a cigarette of one of his buddies.
It is driving me ABSOLUTELY crazy. I have tried EVERY possible reaction to his smoking. I have been trying to hard for so long to be supportive, and I just keep being disappointed. I''ve tried being mad, and it doesn''t work either.
Tonight we had to go to a dinner for his cousin''s high school graduation and he wanted me to pick up some dress clothes for him at home (since I was going home to change anyway) while he went drinking with his buddies after work. I wasn''t too thrilled with being expected to cater to him like this since I didn''t really want to go to the dinner in the first place, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to get something I want out of it, so I said I would do it if he promised he wouldn''t smoke all weekend, to which he agreed wholeheartedly. Of course an hour into the dinner he goes out with his aunt to "keep her company" while she smoked, and of course had a drag. Normally I wouldn''t care at all about a drag, but it''s the fact that while he''s quitting right now, he needs to have absolutely NO contact with nicotine whatsoever, in addition to the fact that he promised me he wouldn''t.
I don''t know what to do at this point. If I try to put myself in his shoes, I know that me being mad about it won''t help at all, but how many more times can I believe him when he says he''s going to stop completely and then watch him turn around and have a cigarette the next night? It is really causing a strain on us, but I feel like if I give up now he will smoke for the rest of his life and I know I can''t take that.
Has anyone been through this and can offer me any kind of advice at all??
Our wedding is 2 months away. He has *pretty much* quit smoking for the past 2 months or so, but he just can''t seem to take it that last step and quit altogether. Of course, going out and drinking is usually the trigger that makes him want to bum a cigarette of one of his buddies.
It is driving me ABSOLUTELY crazy. I have tried EVERY possible reaction to his smoking. I have been trying to hard for so long to be supportive, and I just keep being disappointed. I''ve tried being mad, and it doesn''t work either.
Tonight we had to go to a dinner for his cousin''s high school graduation and he wanted me to pick up some dress clothes for him at home (since I was going home to change anyway) while he went drinking with his buddies after work. I wasn''t too thrilled with being expected to cater to him like this since I didn''t really want to go to the dinner in the first place, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to get something I want out of it, so I said I would do it if he promised he wouldn''t smoke all weekend, to which he agreed wholeheartedly. Of course an hour into the dinner he goes out with his aunt to "keep her company" while she smoked, and of course had a drag. Normally I wouldn''t care at all about a drag, but it''s the fact that while he''s quitting right now, he needs to have absolutely NO contact with nicotine whatsoever, in addition to the fact that he promised me he wouldn''t.
I don''t know what to do at this point. If I try to put myself in his shoes, I know that me being mad about it won''t help at all, but how many more times can I believe him when he says he''s going to stop completely and then watch him turn around and have a cigarette the next night? It is really causing a strain on us, but I feel like if I give up now he will smoke for the rest of his life and I know I can''t take that.
Has anyone been through this and can offer me any kind of advice at all??
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