Would it be bad to ask for a mini-upgrade already?

[maddie80]

Hi there! I am a proud owner of a vatche x=prong with a RB slightly over a carat. I love the ring, but there are a couple things about it that bugs me - for example, because of the x-prong design, the "x" part of the cathedral as well as the band look slightly uneven. Also, my fingers are slightly petite (ok, short, but not skinny!) and when we went to try on bands, the combination of the x-prong plus a band looked pretty wide.

The other design we loved when we originally went ring shopping was a three-stone trellis. I am beginning to wonder (although I love my solitaire) if it might be look better for me to wear a single ring like the three-stone with a very thin (2mm) plain band. Money-wise, it would be slightly more expensive to add sidestones to a three-stone setting than to get an eternity band to go with the solitaire.

I do not want to hurt my fiancee''s feelings, however, by suggesting a setting change already. We just got engaged at the beginning of the year. Any suggestions?

 

[dani13]

Madeleine-

I dont think it would be terrible to ask for a mini upgrade now...do you think your fi would be upset? You have to get what you like, because YOU are wearing the ring everyday....if you can do it $$$ wise and you want to add sidestones, why not? And dont feel bad, my FI and I just got engaged in Nov and I already planted the seed for a upgrade in his head! And for my upgrade I would completely have to switch my stone, as I have a solitaire. My FI is somewhat sentimental about my stone- and so am I- but on to bigger and better things, right? At least you will be keeping your center...

 

[Odilia]

madeleine, of course everyone is different, and you have to know how your FI would react, but I must admit I did that in my engagement. I got the ring, but then, like you, started to realize (in the first few weeks of wearing it) that I maybe hadn't thought thru how it would look with the wedding ring on my finger, etc..., and there were other things that bugged me about it. At first I tried to keep it to myself, but it was driving me crazy, and after I told him, my then-FI was very understanding, and said he'd rather know now, than have it drive me crazy for a long time. Plus, you sound like you're better off than I was, in that you seem to have a second option you'd probably be happy with, whereas I was clueless as to what to get instead.

Plus I think it's better to do it now, while you may be able to trade it in with the jeweler or whatever, and at least before you commit to the wedding ring. Plus I don't think of it as a mini-upgrade, as much as an exchange, given that it's not working out. It's so hard to choose an E-ring, because you don't really get to wear it until you get the real thing. Trying it on in the store (in the wrong finger size, and often with only gently placing a diamond on top of empty prongs) for 5 minutes or less is not that same as wearing it at home for a week. So don't feel bad!

So I think you should talk with your FI about it. Hope that helps!

 

[orangevixen]

Madeline, your post is tripping me out!!! I went through pretty much the same exact thing. My husband proposed a few years back with a .80 Round Brilliant in the Vatche x-prong setting. At first I loved it...Hey, it''s a beautiful stone and I was excited to be engaged. But, after awhile, I started to feel the same way about the attributes you described. I felt the setting dwarfed the stone on my petite fingers. I also hated the fact that the band I wanted would never sit flush.

I had a custom shared prong band made, and I happened to go pick it up without him. While I was there, I talked to the jeweler about a re-set to go with the custom band, and he offered to re-set it that day (for only $150) in a white gold 6-prong Tiffany style so that the stone would be enhanced and sit flush for my upcoming wedding day. I called up then FI, and he was upset. I told him that I wanted to re-set it for awhile just until I figured out what I wanted. I wanted it to look ''perfect'' for the big day. He couldn''t argue with that. Also, when we had looked for rings originally, he knew that I wanted a 3-stone. Anyhow, I did it. It did hurt his feelings for a bit, but he got over it quickly.

A few months after the wedding, I had some extra cash from my college graduation so I decided to sell the original x-prong setting, and with the funds upgrade to the 3-stone I had always wanted. I added two .40 RB''s to the side with a simple stuller white gold setting and I LOVE my ring. My DH still rolls his eyes whenever somebody compliments me on my ring. He says "well I didn''t get that for her...she picked it out" (jokingly of course). But for the most part, he''s over it. And I''m the one who has to wear it.

Point in case, YOU are the one who has to wear it most likely for the rest of your life, or until you get another anniversary upgrade or win the lottery

If it doesn''t put the both of you out, then do what makes you happy. He may be upset, he may take it a bit personally at first, but let him know that it''s important to you. Hope this helps! Let us know how it goes.

 

[gailrmv]

Madeleine,
I don''t know... just to offer an alternative point of view, "buyers regret" is pretty common, and I would hate to see you go to the trouble and expense to change the ring only to go through the same thing a few months later. I only say this because I know you debated and debated 3 stone vs X prong solitaire for a long time and chose the X prong. I wonder if you would be having the same thoughts if you had gone the other way to begin with?
I''d wait and see if you feel the same way in a year or so, and then think about the upgrade.
I wish the designers at Vatche would just make the e-ring sit flush wth a straight band. This seems to be most people''s beef with the setting. Do you think it is a ploy to sell more of their w-bands that sit flush?
Would the 3 stone sit flush with a band?
I notice that the Lucida is shown on Tiff''s website with a 2 mm band as well as a 3 mm. Theirs doesn''t fit 100% flush either, but if you still wanted a plain band, a 2 mm might be a possibility to avoid too much metal.
Good luck!
Gail

 

[maddie80]

Hi ladies - thanks for the advice!

orangevixen - that IS too funny. We originally had a three-stone picked out, debated a lot, and went with the x-prong for many reasons (classic solitaire, can always upgrade to a three-stone, a little less pricey, etc.). We both really like it, but even when my fiancee got it, he didn''t feel like it had the same "wow" factor that the three-stone had on my finger. (And that''s not because a three-stone had more bling - he just thought it was more flattering.) Do you have any pics of your three-stone?

gailrmv - good to see my ring twin around! I know.... I am bad.

I love the x-prong still, but we have had some trouble with the setting. (when you look at the spaces under your prongs, is it even? Ours is not.) Also, my fingers are so darned short that if I put a band on under it, the rings go almost up to my knuckle. Decisions...

 

[gailrmv]

hi Madeleine,
Nice to see my ring twin around as well!

I''m not sure what you mean about the space under the prongs? I don''t notice anything unusual with the alignment of my ring...The only thing that annoys me is that my curved wedding band spins differently from my e-ring, and i do not want to solder them, so that can be annoying esp in cold weather when my finger shrinks.

I WISH I had the ring that cocodreamland (I think I got that right) posted. It looks like our rings on steroids! I wish my husband could have gotten me a 2 carat stone like that, but we got engaged really young, and I told him that if he could swing a carat I would never want to upgrade. He kept his word, now I guess I gotta keep mine...


You must have SHORT fingers! I have the thick Vatche band and the set does not even take up 1/2 the space of my lower finger. Wow, that would frustrate me too if it went to my knuckle.

Good luck with your decision!

Gail

 

[maddie80]

With the space under the prongs... how do I explain it? You know how when you look at the pretty x-prong head, there is an open space between the band that comes off of the basket and the bottom where the xprong intersects? Mine are not exactly the same. Sorry, I don''t know if that helps, but I don''t know how to explain it any better.

And yes, my fingers are tiny.

Not in ring-size - I wear a 5.75, but I think I might have about an inch between my ring finger knuckles where my ring sits. Tops. Any length I get in my fingers comes from the next little segment of finger between my middle and top knuckle. Again, not sure this makes sense, hope it does.

 

[gailrmv]

OMG, we really ARE ring twins. I wear 5.75 too. Although, I believe my e-ring is a 6 right now and I love how easily I can get it off over my knuckle, and my w-band is about 5.5 I believe (to try to stop the spinning, and since I almost never take it off.)

What is your stone tcw again? Mine is 1.13. I bet your diamond is better cut though; I hope we did OK but we bought it before we knew about pricescope and all the cut specs.

I think I get what you are talking about with regards to the space under the basket. It is really hard to explain, though! Well, suffice to say, I don;t notice anything off about mine, so it would have to be extremely subtle if it is a problem.

 

[ilovesparkles]

Do you have a picture of this we could see? It would really help!

 

[maddie80]

Gailrmv - my stone is a 1.11 ideal RB. I love it! I saw a couple of wedding bands over the weekend that I think might be ok, actually. (And postpone my urge to switch to a three-stone ring until later - like an anniversary, or at least my 30th birthday, or something like that.) One was a tiny, tiny channelset band with 1 or 1.5 pointers, that was so little and delicate it almost looked beadset. It was very thin (maybe 2 mm tops), so it might work. The other one was a shared prong eternity band, again, with tiny stones (2 pointers), and that looked quite lovely too.

ilovesparkles - unfortunately I can''t post pictures of my ring. My camera is having problems so all of our pictures are on memory card for now until I have the energy to go somewhere with a reader to download them

 

[gailrmv]

Madeleine,
That''s awesome that you found some w-bands that might work! I love that combination of the X prong with a real thin diamond band. I was going to get that (recall my setting is a recent upgrade after I was married) but my husband really liked the solitaire band so I went with that. The first one I got was a half-round but it just wasnt a perfect match with the X prong (mostly due to height) so I exchanged for the curved band. I wish I had discovered PS or more specifically, Facets, before b/c I would have tried a few things from facets to see what i liked the best! I had thought that an eternity band would be too expensive but on facets a small one is just a little more than I paid for my plat vatche band. I hope to eventually get a real thin diamond eternity band from them though - after I get out of grad school! I tried one really nice eternity band, channel set approx 0.5 tcw and it was pretty low, so it almost slid under the prong for a nearly flush fit. One thing i love about a solitaire is how it can go with a bunch of different w-bands. That''s my eventual plan actually, I''d love to have a few diff diamond bands that I could wear as w-bands or as a stack on my RH. Just thinking ahead/dreaming!
Post some pics if you can!