How do you handle compliments or ????

[louisvgirl]

Okay ladies.........I found this thread a year back......and I wanted to see what sort of comments you've received regarding your e-ring.

Here's mine....(just got engaged about 2-weeks ago) this happened about 5 days later while in a sporting good store..

I asked a salesman for help with some lanterns..as he was explaining the functions to me...he stopped and said..."oh my God...that.....I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude, but your ring is huge...oh it's a fake... NO IT'S NOT!! I quickly interjected..then I put my finger up closer to him..and then he said OHHHH it's not....wow..how could you wear that....aren't you afraid of someone trying to rob you or losing it....(he then went on about how he recently bought his GF a .71 in Hawaii, with a setting from a very well known designer in Hawaii that incorporates nature into his setting..never heard of him...yada yada yada...he went on and on about his diamond search...then he said....you should put that into a safe deposit box and put a fake in that setting instead...who would know it's a fake...I WOULD...I said..well yeah, your right....but how could you walk around with that...i'd be scared....BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Needless to say I watched my back heading out to my car.....making sure HE WASN'T going to come after me...

and left pretty insulted.....what an experience....now I'm left wondering if everyone thinks it's a damn fake!

I told my FI what happened and he was pretty insulted himself..yeah a little ticked off...

that was my first "outdoor" compliment.....OR INSULT I don't even know what to make of it.....

then I had one of my friends touch my diamond.....OMG...who does such a thing....you don't do that!

then I had a sales gal at a bridal store just charge at me and say "omg...I just had to come and take a look...grabbed my hand..and then said...ok thank you..i just had to do that!!!!!

Am I in the twilight zone?...sorry gals...I just had to vent!!

I still can't shake that guy off with the damn fake comment...oh and he also said "I wonder if (her name. I can't recall) would wear something this big
" Hey buddy "YES SHE WOULD"

What do you gals think....how do you handle your comments?

 

[neatfreak]

Unfortunately, many people have no tact at all. And if you were a big diamond, unfortunately you are a target for these tactless people.

You are just going to have to come up with some snippy remarks back to shut them up, or just deal with their comments. You could also just tell people (like the shop guy) it is a fake and then they would shut up.

Sorry you have to deal with this, but unfortunately it's like another jewelry tax for those with big rocks!

 

[kellyfish]

I would not take it as an insult, just poor manners. It was the size he was commenting on and that made him think it was posssibly not genuine--not some other factor. I'm sure a lot of people probably think that about larger stones, and just have the good sense not to say anything. "Thank you, I love it, too" is my stock response to a compliment. I guess "no, I'ts real" would be my personal response to "is it fake?"--unless I thought I was about to be robbed--then it would be "it's from QVC

". I guess his persistence would have made me way more uncomfortable than the fake comment........ I personally don't mind if a friend touches my ring or if someone wants to take a closer look--but perhaps it's a cultural thing for me....not so taboo "down here".....

 

[Pandora II]

I've had loads of people in shops comment when I'm signing the credit card slip and they see it. And everytime when I go into a jewellers.

I am very proud of it and really happy to show my stone off - and most people have never seen a tsavorite before, so I get to do some educating too

.

Most of the time I just say. "Thank you, I'm a very lucky girl."

No-one has ever tried to touch my stone except FI who always plonks his finger on it if we are holding hands - drives me nuts! I'm more than happy for all my friends/colleagues to try it on and have a play though.

People have asked me if I worry about wearing it in the part of London I live in as it has a reputation for high crime levels. I just say I'm careful, I turn it inwards if I feel worried and I'd rather enjoy wearing. If something awful happens - I'm insured.

If a girl in a shop came back to take another look at my hand I would be flattered rather than annoyed.

I'm currently doing a similar e-ring for a friend whose FFI fell in love with my ring.

 

[tberube]

Hmmm.

I thought about this for awhile and I kept thinking the following things:

1. people oogle at big diamonds - and isn't that WHY people get big diamonds in the first place?? To show off our wealth, taste and class?? (if not, we'd all save money and buy 1/2 carat diamonds and stop at sentimental value).

2. it's an unavoidable hazard when you have an enormous diamond for people to mistake it for a fake. Especially if you don't live in Beverly Hills or Manhattan. Most people don't ever see diamonds larger than about a carat on a day to day basis.

3. it is understandable that you wouldn't want people touching your baby, but some people don't have that barrier and will reach out and grab anyone's hand. They actually believe it's a compliment, and to many people, other women going gaa-gaa over their diamond IS a big compliment...which goes back to #1 - what was the big diamond for in the first place, if not to turn people's heads??

Hopefully I haven't said anything to upset, it's just my two cents.

ETA: my ring is probably not nearly as large as yours, but my setting is unique (for around here - although not in the land of PS

) and I get stoppd on the street, in lines at the bank, while paying for things at stores, and damn I love it! It's immediate gratification...I love my ring and I'm glad others do too.

 

[Rhea]

I wouldn''t consider any of those things to be insulting, just bad manners. People are always going to notice large stones, fancy shoes, interesting clothing, etc.

Maybe it''s because my ring is small but in the three years I''ve had it only two people have sincere positive comments on it (the bridal shop assistant never counts!) and both touched my ring. I smile, say thank you I like it too, and then clean it when I get home. People want to touch or comment on pretty things, that''s all.

 

[TravelingGal]

I realize that we are the diamond obsessed but sometimes I think some folks spend way too much energy being concerned about the comments and mannerism toward their rings.

I don''t give a sh*t if someone thinks my ring is glass. I know what it is and I know it brings me lots of happiness. Enough said.

 

[risingsun]

I haven't had anyone ask if my diamond is a fake, but I have had people admire and touch my ring. I really don't mind. I can always clean my ring and I'm happy to show it to others

 

[DiamanteBlu]

I wouldn't worry about it. People are kinda strange. I have had many reactions but they are not only because of the jewelry!

One time I walked to the Chanel counter my usual dept. store and the salesgirl [who was new and was young enough to be my daughter, if not my granddaughter!] grabbed my hand and said "what a fun ring!' Hmmmm . . . not an effective strategy if one wants a customer to buy your stuff. LOL! I guess I looked dismayed and must have said sometning like "huh?" and she said that she had "ass"umed it was fake because there were "no black spots in it". I proceeded to give her a mini diamond education course. I think I was wearing the RB.

Another time, I was late for a connection and the steward at the gate saw my ring [don't remember which one] and he asked me if it was a diamondique? I was like: "Huh?" I had no idea what he was talking about! LOL! I later found out that there is a make of that name! LOL!

Today, I went to the grocery store [me and everybody else in the area - we have a winter storm warning] and I was wearing my sweats with my red fox coat over them. The bagger asked me "is that real?" so I instinctively looked at my hand [wedding ring, that's it - what is he talking about] and looked back at him. He was talking about the coat! LOL!

 

[Linda W]

I often wear my Padparadscha Sapphire as my wedding ring. I get tons of remarks on it. When I am shopping in stores, or grocery stores. People want to know what kind of stone is THAT, is it real, etc. etc. I love explaining to them what a Pad is. Almost all of them have never heard of a Pad.

Linda P.S. I do not like it when they touch it though.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am not insulted when someone comments on my ring, I thank them politely and go on my way. That guy went a bit over, but maybe he thought that it was a compliment and that it might help with a sale, lol!

 

[DiamanteBlu]

BTW, I will often let people look at my jewelry or even try it on if the circumstances are appropriate.

 

[tberube]

Date: 12/2/2007 2:00:22 PM
Author: Diamond*Dana
I am not insulted when someone comments on my ring, I thank them politely and go on my way. That guy went a bit over, but maybe he thought that it was a compliment and that it might help with a sale, lol!

...or maybe he was jealous??

 

[ang3199]

Date: 12/2/2007 1:48:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal
I realize that we are the diamond obsessed but sometimes I think some folks spend way too much energy being concerned about the comments and mannerism toward their rings.


I don''t give a sh*t if someone thinks my ring is glass. I know what it is and I know it brings me lots of happiness. Enough said.

Well said TG. I agree with tberube too. If you get a big rock, people are going to question and oogle. The nature of man.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Date: 12/2/2007 1:59:29 PM
Author: Linda W
I often wear my Padparadscha Sapphire as my wedding ring. I get tons of remarks on it. When I am shopping in stores, or grocery stores. People want to know what kind of stone is THAT, is it real, etc. etc. I love explaining to them what a Pad is. Almost all of them have never heard of a Pad.

Linda P.S. I do not like it when they touch it though.

It must be gorgeous! I have always loved Pads. Is there a thread I can drool over?

 

[Linda W]

Blu,

I don''t have a picture of my ring, but the stone is my Avatar!!

It is 2.25 C

Linda

 

[chicagohills]

Don''t let it bother you too much. Unfortunately, I''m sure it won''t be the only time you hear something like that. I''v had a cousin tell me at a big family dinner that my ring was "too much" and that it "looks like something that you would get out of a gumball machine". Nice, huh? I also once had a very flamboyant man grab my hand and tell me he was "going to cut my finger off and run".

I usually get compliments though. I usually say thanks and that my husband is the real diamond in my life. One time I made a mistake and said that "he must really love me". That was bad. The girl I was talking to looked down at her hand, covered her ring, and said "well, my husband loves me". I felt like such a jerk. I guess it goes both ways. I usually brush off what others say (after stewing) and try to be more sensitive myself.

I''m glad you started this thread again because, honestly, it''s something I have struggled with. And, by the way, gorgeous ring.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

Date: 12/2/2007 2:27:54 PM
Author: Linda W
Blu,


I don't have a picture of my ring, but the stone is my Avatar!!

It is 2.25 C


Linda

Wow! It is gorgeous!!!

ETA: I like its hat, too!

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/2/2007 1:36:19 PM
Author: tberube
Hmmm.


I thought about this for awhile and I kept thinking the following things:


1. people oogle at big diamonds - and isn''t that WHY people get big diamonds in the first place?? To show off our wealth, taste and class?? (if not, we''d all save money and buy 1/2 carat diamonds and stop at sentimental value).


2. it''s an unavoidable hazard when you have an enormous diamond for people to mistake it for a fake. Especially if you don''t live in Beverly Hills or Manhattan. Most people don''t ever see diamonds larger than about a carat on a day to day basis.


3. it is understandable that you wouldn''t want people touching your baby, but some people don''t have that barrier and will reach out and grab anyone''s hand. They actually believe it''s a compliment, and to many people, other women going gaa-gaa over their diamond IS a big compliment...which goes back to #1 - what was the big diamond for in the first place, if not to turn people''s heads??


Hopefully I haven''t said anything to upset, it''s just my two cents.


ETA: my ring is probably not nearly as large as yours, but my setting is unique (for around here - although not in the land of PS

) and I get stoppd on the street, in lines at the bank, while paying for things at stores, and damn I love it! It''s immediate gratification...I love my ring and I''m glad others do too.

Agreed! And ditto to TGal''s comment, too.

LouisV--To answer your topic question--handle compliments with grace.

This is going to happen over and over again, especially when you find yourself talking to people with bad manners. Take it as a misguided compliment--he probably just doesn''t know any better.

I''ve had a few strangers grab my hand and paw at my stone, and while it is a bit alarming, I always try to remember that they''re doing it because they''re appreciating my gorgeous ering; who can be offended by that?!

 

[louisvgirl]

Thanks ladies for all of your comments.....I felt very awkward during this experience sinnce I had only had my ring for 5 days. It caught me off guard..I was just soooooo happy to finally be engaged and to hear something like this....well...stunned me......listening to everyone will now help me take a different attitude regarding people and their comments....thanks.....I knew I came to the right place....

 

[asscherisme]

I had a contractor doing some work on my home and when he asked me if my ring was real I said NO! Its a fake (its most definately real by the way).

I also had a store clerk ask me if it was real before in a 7-11 late at night, I also said NO!

In my opinion, a stupid question deserves a stupid answer and if they are asking, why advertise that I am wearing thousands of dollars on my finger.

Like others have said, I know its real and I love it as does my husband and thats what counts

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 12/2/2007 11:41:51 PM
Author: asscherisme
I had a contractor doing some work on my home and when he asked me if my ring was real I said NO! Its a fake (its most definately real by the way).


I also had a store clerk ask me if it was real before in a 7-11 late at night, I also said NO!


In my opinion, a stupid question deserves a stupid answer and if they are asking, why advertise that I am wearing thousands of dollars on my finger.


Like others have said, I know its real and I love it as does my husband and thats what counts

Haha, in that case, when I finally get my ring, it is officially silver with crystals from overstock.com.

 

[ringster]

i like tgal's reply. i agree with asscherisme - if they think it is fake then let them and in some cases might be better that they do think it is fake. what matters most is that you know what it is.

in addition to PSers generally picking diamonds for their high cut ratings, i think PSers might also take better care of their rings too than the "real world" so our diamonds don't look like everyone else's and therefore look different and therefore "fake". i clean mine every day and so it sparkles like new every day. most of my friends haven't cleaned their rings in ages and it shows.

 

[Deelight]

Just take it for the fact your ring must be so beautiful and sparkly that people cannot comprehend that diamonds can radiate that much life and fire , most people have no idea what a well cut diamond should look like. In his own silly way he was paying you a compliment. If people think it is fake so be it you know it is real and thats all that matters .

People don''t always mean to be tactless but then again sometimes people don''t think before they speak either the poor bugger must have been so overwhelmed bu the beauty of your rock he forgot the thinking part

 

[FLgirl41]

To be honest, I have a pretty big stone, at least in my mind and I have only had one comment at a gas station where the cashier asked me if it was real. After I said yes, he goes "and your fiance drives that", pointing to the car my FI was filling up. I said no, that is my car! I was more insulted about him making fun of my car. I don't mind it, it is a 2001 chevy lumina, it works just fine so I don't mind it.

But other wise I think most people in my area just asume it is fake without asking, I live in basically a college town (tallahassee) and not to many girls in their early 20's have pretty big stones. I would definetly take it as a compliment if some asked me about it because obviously it caught their eye and they felt they needed to say something, so I don't mind. I can definetly say I am guilty of doing grabbing the hand thing, when i saw my aunt at my cousins wedding she had a huge rock on and I grab her hand and told her it was beautiful, she then told me it was a fake, so I told her it is still gorgious. I felt a little awkward, so I tell myself about that moment when I see beautiful jewelry.

 

[ang3199]

Date: 12/3/2007 8:42:43 AM
Author: FLgirl41
To be honest, I have a pretty big stone, at least in my mind and I have only had one comment at a gas station where the cashier asked me if it was real. After I said yes, he goes ''and your fiance drives that'', pointing to the car my FI was filling up. I said no, that is my car! I was more insulted about him making fun of my car. I don''t mind it, it is a 2001 chevy lumina, it works just fine so I don''t mind it.


But other wise I think most people in my area just asume it is fake without asking, I live in basically a college town (tallahassee) and not to many girls in their early 20''s have pretty big stones. I would definetly take it as a compliment if some asked me about it because obviously it caught their eye and they felt they needed to say something, so I don''t mind. I can definetly say I am guilty of doing grabbing the hand thing, when i saw my aunt at my cousins wedding she had a huge rock on and I grab her hand and told her it was beautiful, she then told me it was a CZ, so I told her it is still gorgious. I felt a little awkward, so I tell myself about that moment when I see beautiful jewelry.

FLGirl! That just made my day! I would have been made at him for making fun of my car too!

 

[Nicrez]

I have been asked if my jewlery was fake before, but ususally those who know me, and clearly know I deal with jewlery know it isn''t. I am usually introduced to husbands and other women as, "You have to meet [Nicrez], she''s a gemologist. She works with DIAMONDS..." I don''t wear things that stick out too much, other than stylistically. But that''s also based on the fact that I favor style over caratage.

I think people will always be ignorant, and say things that make others uncomfortable. But when you have things of noticeable value you have to expect it. Like DiamanteBlue''s story of her fur and diamonds getting comments. If you wear things that others equate with value, then forthright people will often "call you" on it. Why? Because many people wear fakes, it''s that simple.

- There are people who have money and don''t show it.
- Many who have some and show it with designer bags, furs, rings and many other items.
- Then those who don''t have and wear the fake LV, fake designer jewlery (like the Alhambra necklaces I saw in Chinatown...)
- And lastly you have those who have little and don''t wear anything too showy.

Many people exist in the middles of these categories. And since some people don''t have mental stoppers to their mouths, they ask, either trying to "out a faker" or to even sometimes commisserate as a fellow fake buyer, and talk about the items they have purchased similarly. It''s not always negative, but it''s all in how you respond I think. I have on ocassion said things were fake, if I felt it was uncomfortable to be wearing a real one. But in general, I say yes it''s real, I work in the field, so I often get the gaping stares and (if appropriate) let them see the item (even if they could never buy it). It''s to be appreciated, so I enjoy when people do. I suggest the same for you. Enjoy your piece and don''t worry about other''s comments!

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 12/2/2007 1:48:40 PM
Author: Addy
I wouldn't consider any of those things to be insulting, just bad manners. People are always going to notice large stones, fancy shoes, interesting clothing, etc.

Maybe it's because my ring is small but in the three years I've had it only two people have sincere positive comments on it (the bridal shop assistant never counts!) and both touched my ring. I smile, say thank you I like it too, and then clean it when I get home. People want to touch or comment on pretty things, that's all.

Haha... I was thinking that too, Addy! NEVER have I received more comments on my ring than while I was planning the wedding... there must be a secret handbook behind the counter of every bridal shop, florist, caterer and photographer... saying "Rule #1: Gush over the ring!"

I live in an urban area but grew up in a small town, so some people think my 1.5 ct stone is huge, while others think it's small-to-average. But I'm not easily insulted, so most comments don't bother me. And I figure if somebody's actually going to try to rob me, they're not going to draw attention to it first!

I do think it's funny when people say things like "Wow, you must keep it really clean to make it that sparkly... I should clean mine more often." ...assuming that sparkle is a direct result of cleaning, as opposed to cut. After the 20th time my cousin told me that, I finally offered to clean hers FOR her!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Diamonds can cause people to have strong reactions, positive or negative. It goes with the territory.

I''ve gotten some great compliments and some hostility from people through the years.

 

[ang3199]

Date: 12/3/2007 10:25:12 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
How incredibly RUUUUUDE of him.


Your ring is stunning, brush morons like that off. Its apparent to me that he''s lacking class in on a grand scale... don''t give it another thought. A lot of the time, people who have never seen larger pieces like yours will often times not comprehend there are those of us who are lucky enough to have been blessed with beautiful engagement rings.


Big sparkley hugs your way.

You are such a ray of sunshine!!