zarla
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2013
- Messages
- 7
Hi everyone!!
This is my first post as a LIW. I am very into colored stones and antique jewelry and used to have another user name, but I forgot the password and whatever probably old email was associated with it. Oh well! I'd rather be somewhat more private about identifying details as an LIW... And OH MAN do I need to have some support in my my current LIW status. I feel like I can't really talk to my friends about it, and i def have some LIW itches to scratch.
Anyway, here's my deal: I'm in my late 20s, been living with my BF for about three years. I could gush on and on and on about how wonderful my BF is and how happy we are. He is SUCH a dreamboat We have talked abstractly about getting married, having kids and a life together, but I really feel like I'm ready to get this show on the road.
Without going into too many details, we both work in the same field. Over the next year or two, we will both be VERY VERY busy in our work. However, after those 1-2 years, we'll have the opportunity to move up to the next level professionally, but that would probably mean moving to a new city. If we are married at that time, it would make it a lot easier for us to move together. So it's kind of a catch 22 (not 100% sure if I'm using this correct but whatever!): we have to work really hard to move up, perhaps precluding planning a wedding, but we likely have to be married to move together. I know that he wants to feel like he can afford to pay for a wedding, which will be easier in a couple of years, but we sort of have to be married before then. He is a very responsible person, and I know he will be more enthused about getting married when he is more professionally set up, but I'm not sure how that will work with the timeline and us being able to live in the same city.
Sorry if that was confusing, but I hope it gives some background! In short: I feel like his #1 priorities are work-related. Only then will he feel "ready" to focus on his personal life. But I think we both want to be together as our professional lives unfold, and in order for that to happen, it would help to be married. At the same time, I don't want getting married to compete with his professional goals and wind up being associated with stress.
I feel self-conscious bringing up getting married with my boyfriend in part because I feel like I've been the driver of a lot of big moves in our relationship. I was the one who took the initiative to suggest that we become exclusive. I was also the one who took the initiative to suggest that we move in together. Sometimes this bothers me and makes me feel insecure. I want getting married to be *his* idea, his plan. I really believe in honesty and equality in relationships, but I really need him to be the captain of this ship at this stage. I find myself biting my tongue all the time. Any advice??
Another-- more fun!-- piece of the puzzle is that is know SO much more about gems and jewelry than he does. I have helped so many other people find awesome deals on gorgeous e-rings and I am very ready for it to be my turn! I like colored gems, yellow or rose gold, and antique styles. My dream dream would be a rich, pure red ruby in an ornate yellow gold die-cut Van Craeynest settings with diamond accents. But that's definitely out of our budget, and fortunately I like less saturated stones in less complicated settings. Not exactly sure how we'll figure out how to help him "steer the ship" while taking advantage of my knowledge of vendors, but we'll deal with that as we go along I guess...
For a wedding, I definitely want something low budget and low stress. Right now, I'm picturing a white sundress and BBQ OR a white lace 1960s mini dress and cocktail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.
So, yeah, that's me! Put me on the list!
This is my first post as a LIW. I am very into colored stones and antique jewelry and used to have another user name, but I forgot the password and whatever probably old email was associated with it. Oh well! I'd rather be somewhat more private about identifying details as an LIW... And OH MAN do I need to have some support in my my current LIW status. I feel like I can't really talk to my friends about it, and i def have some LIW itches to scratch.
Anyway, here's my deal: I'm in my late 20s, been living with my BF for about three years. I could gush on and on and on about how wonderful my BF is and how happy we are. He is SUCH a dreamboat We have talked abstractly about getting married, having kids and a life together, but I really feel like I'm ready to get this show on the road.
Without going into too many details, we both work in the same field. Over the next year or two, we will both be VERY VERY busy in our work. However, after those 1-2 years, we'll have the opportunity to move up to the next level professionally, but that would probably mean moving to a new city. If we are married at that time, it would make it a lot easier for us to move together. So it's kind of a catch 22 (not 100% sure if I'm using this correct but whatever!): we have to work really hard to move up, perhaps precluding planning a wedding, but we likely have to be married to move together. I know that he wants to feel like he can afford to pay for a wedding, which will be easier in a couple of years, but we sort of have to be married before then. He is a very responsible person, and I know he will be more enthused about getting married when he is more professionally set up, but I'm not sure how that will work with the timeline and us being able to live in the same city.
Sorry if that was confusing, but I hope it gives some background! In short: I feel like his #1 priorities are work-related. Only then will he feel "ready" to focus on his personal life. But I think we both want to be together as our professional lives unfold, and in order for that to happen, it would help to be married. At the same time, I don't want getting married to compete with his professional goals and wind up being associated with stress.
I feel self-conscious bringing up getting married with my boyfriend in part because I feel like I've been the driver of a lot of big moves in our relationship. I was the one who took the initiative to suggest that we become exclusive. I was also the one who took the initiative to suggest that we move in together. Sometimes this bothers me and makes me feel insecure. I want getting married to be *his* idea, his plan. I really believe in honesty and equality in relationships, but I really need him to be the captain of this ship at this stage. I find myself biting my tongue all the time. Any advice??
Another-- more fun!-- piece of the puzzle is that is know SO much more about gems and jewelry than he does. I have helped so many other people find awesome deals on gorgeous e-rings and I am very ready for it to be my turn! I like colored gems, yellow or rose gold, and antique styles. My dream dream would be a rich, pure red ruby in an ornate yellow gold die-cut Van Craeynest settings with diamond accents. But that's definitely out of our budget, and fortunately I like less saturated stones in less complicated settings. Not exactly sure how we'll figure out how to help him "steer the ship" while taking advantage of my knowledge of vendors, but we'll deal with that as we go along I guess...
For a wedding, I definitely want something low budget and low stress. Right now, I'm picturing a white sundress and BBQ OR a white lace 1960s mini dress and cocktail party with heavy hors d'oeuvres.
So, yeah, that's me! Put me on the list!