Back from trying on engagement rings!!

[Stephny691]

Hi everyone!
I said in the other thread I would post pictures and specs from the rings I tried on today and give you guys an insight to UK diamond shopping.
This is going to be a bit of a long post and the pics aren't great- you've been warned.
We went to the 'best' jewellers in our shopping centre, it carries the really expensive watches and designer jewellery. I took pictures of 4 of the rings and fell in love with a wedding band which I'll also post, the only problem with the wedding band is that my OH can't get one that looks similar and I would like us to have similar bands so I don't think I'll get this one.
Anywho! On with the show.
The first thing I would like to point out is that only one of these diamonds is certified (and not by any lab I've heard of, which to be fair doesn't mean much) and that one is the Canadian Ice diamond- special cut to have more facets or something. NONE of the other diamonds are certified. Yeah, exactly.

First things first, this one is the Vera Wang wedding set- this is the wedding band I love btw.

the ERing is .45ct centre with .95ct total. £3499/$5488.99



and this is the side view so you can see the hidden sapphire, which is a lovely idea, but the setting of it is so clumsy and makes the sapphire look dull and dark, which is a shame.



Stood up too far from my hand and I just didn't like the fussiness.


This one is the Canadian Ice Diamond- could not tell any difference between sparkle.
.40CT,
H,
and they didn't say clarity but I'm thinking these are all SI1 or lower.

£1699/$2645.85


I was eh about this one, nothing wrong with it, but nothing special.


This next one is:
.50ct
H
and again thinking SI1 although they didn't specify.
£3999/$6227.64



The band is too thick on this for me, I need 2mm or smaller because of short fingers!
However both me and OH LOVED the side profile of this ring, it was so pretty and elegant, I loved it.




Now this last one, the diamond itself didn't interest me, but the size? Yes. I fell in love with the finger coverage, it felt so nice on my hand, anything bigger I don't think would work, but this was perfect.

1ct
H
£6999/$10899.54



The shank size of this was perfect, I basically want this size diamond, but with the side profile of the .50ct. Perfection!


That's the 1ct with the wedding band I love.

Now I didn't include clarity for this diamond, because they said it was eyeclean, if someone would correct me that would be great, I blew up a picture of the diamond and as far as I'm aware an 'eyeclean' diamond shouldn't look like this one.



I've never seen a diamond that big up close before, if that's how they look then fine, but it looked wrong to me.

So basically- £7000 is WAY out of our budget, it looks like OH will up the budget a bit but no where near that much. What do you think I could realistically expect to pay for 1ct (I'm willing to go a bit under that's fine), but eyeclean, with lots of sparkle? And anyone know where I can get a thin shanked setting like on the .50?

Hope you enjoyed reading this, I had so much fun trying on rings, oh and the test drive went well too! All in all, a really great day!

 

[madelise]

Thanks for the bling ****!! Did you have lots and lots of fun? The first time (ok and every other time, but esp the first time) bling shopping is so exciting!!!

"Eyeclean" is extremely subjective. One person's definition is different from another. What does it even mean? I prefer when people describe what they mean. Eye clean from 6" in front of the eyes? Face-up eye clean (where the inclusions are only seen from the side profile)? Eye clean because the inclusion is prongable? Eye clean from an arms length away?

Jesus Christ, over $10K for a 1 carat diamond of basically unknown color or clarity???! Please tell me your SO will be okay with you buying from the US! The duties shouldn't cost THAT much more! The diamond probably didn't interest you bc the cut quality is probably "meh". You tried on such a variety of rings with varying price points. What *is* your budget?

This guy's a 1.01 ct H VS2 GIA that's superrrrr pretty!! http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut/1.01-carat-h-color-vs2-clarity-sku-223272 for $6650. Double the size of the half carat you tried on for about the same price, except you know exactly what you're getting. The cut is perfection on it, I love the arrows. I don't see any settings that look exactly like the one you posted that you both like, but they have many affordable options as well.

 

[Stephny691]

Hi madelise
Once he saw the price points he was MUCH more inclined to buy from the US! UK prices are insane aren't they? The lines and things in the 1ct I could see where when I was holding a foot from my face and from the side and from looking straight down at it. It's just looked cloudy? And like it had shattered in the inside? I can't think of a better way to describe it. I -think- the budget might be around £2000/$3100. So yeah- 1ct is out of my range. But if we buy from the US it will still give us way more for our money than in the UK.
It was ridiculous amounts of fun! Just to look and touch all the sparkly shiney goodness!

 

[madelise]

Hi madelise
Once he saw the price points he was MUCH more inclined to buy from the US! UK prices are insane aren't they? The lines and things in the 1ct I could see where when I was holding a foot from my face and from the side and from looking straight down at it. It's just looked cloudy? And like it had shattered in the inside? I can't think of a better way to describe it.

Those are dangerous. It does appear to be very included from the photo you posted. If those feathers break the surface, they can be very prone to cracking the whole diamond if you hit in in "just the right way". Not worth the risk, IMO. And of course it looks cloudy! It's not clear

I -think- the budget might be around £2000/$3100. So yeah- 1ct is out of my range. But if we buy from the US it will still give us way more for our money than in the UK.
It was ridiculous amounts of fun! Just to look and touch all the sparkly shiney goodness!

I think the best thing for you to do at this point is to figure out FOR SURE how much $ the budget will be for the e-ring. Then figure out how the taxes and import fees work for importing jewelry. Do a backwards calculation to see how much $ will be going towards taxes and import fees, so you know the exact amount you can actually spend on the item. Go from there Find a setting you like, then you know how much $ is left over for the diamond. JA's website has some settings for $180, and some nicer ones for $400ish.

 

[Stephny691]

Excellent advice. Thank you We're gonna go to the jewellery quarter next week maybe, so there will be more choice there. Plus better prices. But once we've done that then it's up to him for budget and the ring itself. I KEEP telling him to come here and just look around. But... Stubborn man!
Thanks again for your help.

 

[Stephny691]

Everything was going so well.
Just had another convo with OH, apparently he knows what I like now. But doesn't want to get anything like that because he doesn't want his mom to feel bad/start to dislike her ring because mine might be bigger/cost more. So yeah. Whatever. Why do I ever let myself get my hopes up?

 

[princesss]

What about not making you feel bad because he's choosing his mother over you? I mean, if you're getting engaged, shouldn't your partner be your priority?

ETA: Uggh, I'm so annoyed for you! I really hope this works out, the profile of that .50 was gorgeous!

 

[Stephny691]

He said it wouldn't influence his decision (we talked again). And he promised it wouldn't influence his decision. But he said he knows what his mum is like, and no matter what my ring looks like she's either going to start hating her own ring or saying mean things about mine. She doesn't even do it consciously. She just doesn't think how her words affect others. For instance we need a new car, my car is 13 years old, done nearly 120,000 miles. We NEED a new car. So we start looking at new cars and immediately she's all "you know we really need a new car too, we should really trade ours in" her car is 5 years old and you wouldn't know it hasn't just rolled off the line. But because we're having one- she has to have one. She the loveliest person you will meet as long as you don't have something nicer than her. Wow I feel like a b*tch for saying that, but I'm sticking by it.

So basically he said knowing what his mum is like when he does get me a ring there's going to be part of him that feels like sh*t because of how it's going to make his mum feel. Well that's great. Because instead of an engagement being a really happy time for us now all I can and will think is how crap he fels because of how his mum must be feeling!

Extremely long story short I told him I don't want an engagement ring anymore- which is completely true. The whole thing is tainted for me now. I'm sorry I'm whinging I know there are much bigger problems in the world. I just felt like we were finally getting somewhere and now it's worse than before. I don't even want to get engaged now. Or anything, because whenever we do anything for ourselves all I'm going to think is how much he must be worried that his bloody mother is having an attack of the green eyed monster. Yeah our weddings going to be so much fun now, and moving house? Urgh.
Yeah the profile of the .50 is so pretty
I'll just buy myself a damn diamond then its not his problem!

Tl;dr I'm furious, sad and don't want to get married.

 

[junebug17]

Oh Steph, I really, really hope your bf can get over this and not live his life according to how his mother feels. You and he deserve to live your lives and get whatever you dam well please! Believe me, she'll live. And who cares if she gets jealous? That's her problem, not yours. You guys don't want to be looking back 50 years from now saying "yeah, we should have done x and not have worried about my mother's petty jealousy" and it's going to seem really silly then that you both lived your lives for someone else, and you and he will have regrets. Trust me, I'm old, I know!

I'm upset for you, and can't help but be annoyed with your bf. Please talk to him and try to get this straightened out...I don't want this to ruin what should be a very special time in your life!

 

[gem_anemone]

Without getting into all of the details of the kind of stuff that my ex's mom would pull on me I am going to tell you that I completely understand what it is like to date a momma's boy. It is awful and I feel for you. I was young, in love, in college and not really worrying too much about my love life and who I chose to keep around that I let myself get treated as second fiddle for 3 years. Moms are not supposed to come first. Wives are. Your boyfriend really needs to learn that if you are serious about getting engaged.

Some momma's boys can learn to cut the cord and some cannot. My ex could not and that is 90% why we broke up. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is either way, but what I am saying is that is something you need to get handled before you even consider getting engaged. There is so much planning and decision making that goes into a wedding, a marriage, buying a house, having family, etc. that you need to have clear lines drawn with his mother about what she is and is not allowed to have a say in in your personal business and you need to know that your boyfriend is and will be on *your* side throughout.

I hope all my underlining has stressed to you how important this is for your future! I wish you the best!!

 

[junebug17]

excellent post gem, you make really good points...this really needs to be ironed out now - there are many decisions to be made down the road, it's going to be so difficult if the first consideration is always "will my mother get jealous over this?"

You know, these situations come up every once in a while where an older woman is jealous of either her daughter or fdil and I will never be able understand it at all, on any level...I would want either my daughter or fdil to get the best of everything in life.

Good luck, I really hope your bf can break this cycle of putting his mother's feelings first.

 

[Stephny691]

Hi June and Gem.
This has never been an issue before! This is the first time I'm hearing it, when we used to talk about getting engaged I would say "if we get engaged before your mum she'll go mad" and he would say "Tough she'll have to get over it it's our life"
But then she got engaged and something shifted. And now there's a possibility of us getting engaged this whole "I don't want to hurt my mum" has come along. And I feel terrible for basically saying "I don't care how your mum feels, she's gotten what she wanted, the ring, the wedding. It's our turn now."
I told him that the whole process of getting engaged is meant to make us both feel awesome. And that if there's even a small part of him that won't feel awesome then I don't want a ring and if he wants to get engaged then just tell me "we're engaged". His response was "how about I promise I won't ask you until I feel awesome about it"
And bless him I don't think that had the effect he was hoping for. His mum ain't gonna change who she is and she doesn't have to.

I dunno I'm not even making sense anymore. I'm being so dramatic but I feel heartbroken.
Thank you all for advice and kind words it nice to have somewhere to vent and people that can understand where I'm coming from.

 

[gem_anemone]

I just want you to know that I don't think you're being dramatic. The things that my ex's mom would do to me were so stupid and made absolutely no sense, but the intent behind her behavior was what I came to realize was really disrespectful to me. I understood that we couldn't change his mom, her behavior and reactions, but my ex should have acknowledged what she was doing was wrong and stood up for me when necessary. Instead all he did was make excuses for her feelings and enable her bad behavior by giving in to her demands - every single time. It may have been necessary to brush off the mom to survive the relationship, but getting disrespected and ignored by my own boyfriend was not something I was willing to put up with. Hopefully your problems are strictly ring/wedding issues and go no further. From your last post it sounds like maybe they are. Not to assume, but since you don't suspect there are any other momma's boy issues with your boyfriend besides for the ring/wedding I'm now kind of wondering if he is just trying to come up with excuses to spend less on a ring than you would prefer. Do you think that could be an assue?

 

[Stephny691]

He's got a budget of £1500-£2000. But he's aware that he could tie a price of string on my finger at this point and I would be happy. I hope it's not excuse, I think if he wanted to spend less he'd just tell me, but it's something to consider definitely. I'm hoping beyond hope it's just ring/wedding related, or trying to put me off so even though we went to look I'll think he's not doing it for ages and the. It'll be a surprise much sooner? I'm now trying to think positively about it because nothing I can do can change his mind or how his mum will react so all I can do is change how I'm reacting to it right?

 

[JulieN]

How about the Legato Sleek Line: http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/legato-sleek-line-solitaire-engagement-ring-728.htm
Some Vatche are supposed to be very thin: http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/bliss-solitaire-engagement-ring-by-vatche-1647.htm
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/felicity-solitaire-engagement-ring-by-vatche-1613.htm
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/inara-solitaire-engagement-ring-by-vatche-1759.htm
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/vatche-venus-solitaire-engagement-ring-2378.htm