Why do so few PSers post jokes?

[kenny]

And why, when one does (Hello Karl), does nobody add their jokes to a joke thread?
Other fora I frequent have long joke threads, often weekly.
Those people love to laugh and come across some great ones.

Could it be we have little sense of humor?
What does that say about us?
Do we need a beer?
Do we need to lighten up?
Do we need to take things less seriously?

I love people with a good sense of humor.
I'm creeped out by people who walk on eggshells.

Just saying.

 

[kenny]

Why did the chicken cross the road?




To get to the other side.




OH NOES! YOU HAVE INSULTED CHICKENDUMB!
DAMBIT! YOU DID IT Again!

I'M CALLING THE SPCA.

 

[packrat]

My jokes are naughty/offensive. This is why I do not post jokes. I am not easily offended by that stuff, however. I save my inappropriate shenanigans for my pinterest board of the same name.

 

[arkieb1]

+ 1 Most of the jokes I know are rude, involve swearing or an Aussie sense of humour, I am sure I would manage to upset number of people's delicate sensibilities somehow apart from DF

 

[isaku5]

None of us can compete with Karl's!

Sorry, but your 'chicken joke' doesn't do it for me; however, I might be persuaded if I could borrow your SO's Octavia for a week or so. I would be very careful.

 

[kenny]

Please … post something funny!!!!!!!!!!!! …
This place is DEAD.
The grumpy LCD, lowest common denominator, has squeeze the life out like a boa constrictor snake does to its prey.

Men, loosen your tie, and gals change into clothing less tight-fitting and choking ...
Who wants a beer? wine? shot?

The prudes have ruled PS way too long.

 

[Rhea]

I love bad jokes, but have no memory for them. When we do the Christmas crackers I sometimes have the vague feeling that I've heard particular jokes before but still can't figure out the punchline. When I read Karl's threads I have to take the laptop with me to repeat them to DH because I don't feel I can remember the joke walking to the next room. It means I'm always thoroughly entertained by jokes even if I only heard them 5 minutes ago!

 

[justginger]

I have the worst memory for jokes other than the dreadfully inappropriate ones. The only one I can think of now is one DH just told me last night.

3 Canucks were trying to decide what to call their beautiful homeland. "Let's just throw some letters we like out, and see if something falls into place," one suggested. The others thought it was as good of a plan as any.

The first one says, "What about a C, eh?" A nod of agreement. 'C' is a nice enough letter.
The second says, "What about an N, eh?" Again, agreement all round. N is inoffensive.
The last says, "What about a D, eh?" The group agrees for the last time, and toasts were had all round.

And so, it became known as Canada.

 

[kenny]

Hahaha.

Did you see SNL's response to Russia's problem with gays?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU045h3coGM

The full original skit was apparently removed from Youtube. hmmmm

The 4:17-long original MAY be available here http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mens-figure-skating-cold-open/n45564

If not search for, men's figure skating cold open

 

[Dancing Fire]

B/c, you don't wanna hear my gay jokes...

 

[kenny]

B/c, you don't wanna hear my gay jokes...

Gay jokes are the BEST.
Bring em on.

Like Kevin and Bean, DJs for KROQ the LA radio station say, we are ALL funny, there is something funny about ALL us groups of people.

I have a theory.
People most offended by jokes about a group are more likely to harbor feelings of superiority over said group.

Since I feel people in all groups are equal I feel humor about them/us all is funny - even humor about whites, guys, fat people, gays, bald guys, stupid guys, ugly guys and old guys.

Theres an actor/comic who has down syndrome.
He has a series on Youtube.

I think it's hilarious.
I think people who think people with Down Syndrome are inferior to them will be offended.
Actually, by finding him funny I'm treating him as an equal.
Why can't people with Down Syndrome have the job of comedian?

Bring em on.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Angry guy with a shotgun storms into a bar. He stands up on a table and says "Alright, which one of you bastards slept with my wife!"

A voice from the crowd pipes up "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"

 

[endless_summer]

Kenny,

I think it's because we all ought to go grab drinks - then, hilarity might ensue

But, in the interim, here are some laughs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk

Enjoy!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Angry guy with a shotgun storms into a bar. He stands up on a table and says "Alright, which one of you bastards slept with my wife!"

A voice from the crowd pipes up "You don't have enough bullets, mate!"

I told this one to my son. He laughed and then I asked him if he got the joke and he said no! Guess that is a good thing...hehehe

 

[missy]

I think everyone knows this one-an oldie but a goodie.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

C'mon you know you wanna laugh.


and because this is a diamond forum.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.

 

[Dancing Fire]

B/c, you don't wanna hear my gay jokes...

Gay jokes are the BEST.
Bring em on.

When two lesbians get marry what type of license would they need?

 

[Madam Bijoux]

The jokes I know are:
a) too obscene to be posted here,or
b) politicians (too disgusting to write about here).

 

[Dancing Fire]

The jokes I know are:

b) politicians (too disgusting to write about here).

Did you know Hillary wasn't always the first lady...go ask Monica!...

 

[justginger]

I think everyone knows this one-an oldie but a goodie.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

That IS funny!

 

[TooPatient]

A couple of reasons:

I really don't know many jokes at all.

Those I do know tend to be a bit rude and with so many PC people around it often feels like you can't even post a joke without someone getting offended.

 

[SMC]

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar...or maybe a hotel. Or possibly a church.

 

[TooPatient]

B/c, you don't wanna hear my gay jokes...

Gay jokes are the BEST.
Bring em on.

Like Kevin and Bean, DJs for KROQ the LA radio station say, we are ALL funny, there is something funny about ALL us groups of people.

I have a theory.
People most offended by jokes about a group are more likely to harbor feelings of superiority over said group.

Since I feel people in all groups are equal I feel humor about them/us all is funny - even humor about whites, guys, fat people, gays, bald guys, stupid guys, ugly guys and old guys.

Theres an actor/comic who has down syndrome.
He has a series on Youtube.

I think it's hilarious.
I think people who think people with Down Syndrome are inferior to them will be offended.
Actually, by finding him funny I'm treating him as an equal.
Why can't people with Down Syndrome have the job of comedian?

Bring em on.

Agree!

I think you've got the reason for a lot of the PC-ness right there.

I love a good joke -- fat, thin, old, young, black, white, Asian, gay, straight, bald, hairy, man, woman, blonde, brunette...

There is a BIG difference between a joke told in good fun and a nasty attack on someone (or some group). We should be able to laugh together at jokes.

 

[TooPatient]

What is the difference between a BMW and a cactus?

The cactus has the pricks on the outside.



What do you call a smart blonde?

A brunette.



What do you call a smart man?

A woman.



Why do women all want new computers?

Because a 3" floppy is never okay.

 

[justginger]

Not a joke, but the latest instalment of celebrities reading mean tweets is pretty funny: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y1iErgBrDQ

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

What is the difference between a BMW and a cactus?

The cactus has the pricks on the outside.



What do you call a smart blonde?

A brunette.



What do you call a smart man?

A woman.



Why do women all want new computers?

Because a 3" floppy is never okay.

bwahahahahahaha! They can't get dirty enough I love them!

 

[Christina...]

I have a lot of jokes, but as was mentioned earlier....they are a bit distasteful and I'm not interested in dealing with the fallout...

But since I'm blonde I will share a couple of blonde joke comebacks...

Why are there so many blonde jokes?

...so brunettes have something to do on a Saturday night.

Why are blonde jokes so short?

....so brunettes can remember them.

How are blondes and computers similar?

...you never appreciate them until one goes down on you.

...and that's all I've got!

 

[Dee*Jay]

How are blondes and computers similar?
...you never appreciate them until one goes down on you.

HA HA HA HA! And The Boyfriend is laughing too! (BTW, I am a natural blond. )

 

[TooPatient]

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates just redefines Darkness(TM) as the industry standard.



What if Bill Gates had $1 for every time Windows crashed?

Wait.... He does!



How did Microsoft break Volkswagen's world record?

Volkswagen only made 30 million bugs.




(FWIW, Bill Gates & his wife are great people. They do awesome work!)

 

[kenny]

What is the difference between a BMW and a cactus?

The cactus has the pricks on the outside.

Hahahah!

 

[CJ2008]

I don't know any jokes, really.

Some of these are funny! (love the Monkey one!)