vague title lol

[Cehrabehra]

I have no idea what to title this so I''ll be a little

and do it this way

You know those people who can never do anything because you''ve asked too early or you''ve asked too late or they only have a 5 hour window to do something that takes 2 hours?

A couple friends and I are going down town to lunch tomorrow for my b''day and I asked a friend about 3 weeks ago if she wanted to join and she said yes yes, I''d love to BUT I volunteer at my dd''s school and then eat lunch with her EVERY thursday and I really don''t want to mess with that. Okay. We''re talking her leaving 15 minutes early and skipping lunch with her dd but okay... so I call her today and say "well you know you can still join us down there even if you come separately" and she was like oh I''d love to BUT now I''ve scheduled a massage for 4:30. I''m thinkin *I* have to be back by 2, is 2.5 hours just not enough time to prepare for a massage? GMAB! So she tells me she''ll "owe me lunch" but that''s not really the point. And I am very forgiving, I''ll get over this.... but I just find that some people cannot seem to do anything because they''re gripped by some sort of... I dunno... full schedule illusion syndrome? FSIS? LOL I know that she''s not blowing me off, she genuinely thinks 3 hours at the school followed 5 1/2 hours later by a massage is a FULL DAY. Her ex has her dd after school so she doesn''t even have a time constraint with her child LOL I''m going to have to keep a little black book for my friends, "call her at the last minute" "call her a month ahead" "make sure she only has *one* thing planned for that day" LOL I have another friend if you ask her anything other than last minute she''s "oh gosh I don''t know what''s going on then!" and goes into a panic because she doesn''t have her datebook and gets so frazzled she just says no and you can''t get her to budge LOL And another who does the same thing if you call last minute.... I asked her why she wasn''t at a surprise party last weekend and she said she forgot and had just taken off her clothes so she couldn''t come and I''m like why don''t you just put your clothes back on and get over here! She was 2 minutes away! LOL I remember being rigid back in the day but I remember everyone *else* being MUCH more spontaneous and willing to commit. Its so goofy.

I think I''m getting cosmic payback for the years that I was rigid prior to having kids.... LOL

 

[sumbride]

I know what you mean. I think some people just can''t be bothered... can''t break from their routine. And then sometimes I see the point of not committing to another thing beacuse I''m just so exhausted that while technically I''m free, for my own sanity, I can''t book another thing.


And then there''s my friend that backs out every time it''s not close enough to her. Me, I''m used to commuting to work so doing something on the other side of town is fine as long as I have enough notice to deal with transportation... but for her, if it isn''t in her neighborhood, or close enough to it, she''ll always call at the last minute and beg off, saying she doesn''t feel well. I''ve picked up on the pattern and it makes me crazy, but in the end, it''s her issue, not mine.

 

[lumpkin]

I''m in a bad mood today, so I don''t even want to get started on this one! I will say, I have people in my life with scheduling/sticking to a plan issues and I get very exasperated with them.

Happy birthday, Cehra!

 

[Ellen]

I really don''t have anything useful to inject, I just wanted to say your thread title rocks. And I knew exactly what you were talking about.

Happy Bday girlie! Is it actually tomorrow?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 6:54:39 PM
Author: Ellen
I really don''t have anything useful to inject, I just wanted to say your thread title rocks. And I knew exactly what you were talking about.

Happy Bday girlie! Is it actually tomorrow?

Yeah and I wasn''t going to say anything but it shoulda been a little *push* to encourage her to make an exception so I thought I''d mention it LOL

People are so funny.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 6:50:22 PM
Author: lumpkin
I''m in a bad mood today, so I don''t even want to get started on this one! I will say, I have people in my life with scheduling/sticking to a plan issues and I get very exasperated with them.

Happy birthday, Cehra!

awwww, I hope you have a better day tomorrow! I have to say though I really want to hear your grumpy stories so I can comiserate LOL

 

[Harriet]

Happy Birthday!

 

[FireGoddess]

I would write a longer post in your thread but I can't possibly, seeing as I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning and have to eat dinner and go to bed in between now and then.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/30/2007 7:37:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I would write a longer post in your thread but I can''t possibly, seeing as I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning and have to eat dinner and go to bed in between now and then.

LMAO!

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 5/30/2007 7:37:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I would write a longer post in your thread but I can''t possibly, seeing as I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning and have to eat dinner and go to bed in between now and then.

ROTFALMAO

..
I''d reply too but I just washed my hair (you know the rest).......

cheers--Sharon

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 5/30/2007 7:35:39 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 5/30/2007 6:50:22 PM
Author: lumpkin
I'm in a bad mood today, so I don't even want to get started on this one! I will say, I have people in my life with scheduling/sticking to a plan issues and I get very exasperated with them.

Happy birthday, Cehra!

awwww, I hope you have a better day tomorrow! I have to say though I really want to hear your grumpy stories so I can comiserate LOL

I have no one but myself to blame. Do you ever have an idea in your head that is so appealing that even when faced with evidence that your idea is erroneous you push the evidence aside in favor of your idea, then later be faced with the fact that your idea was wrong? Well, I did that. And it's kind of a scheduling issue. I thought my son had one more half day of school tomorrow. Two days ago I saw on my calendar that today was the last day, but I decided I must have entered it incorrectly in my calendar. So I had all these plans for tomorrow morning (nothing exciting, just cleaning out his room when he's not there to guard his old, useless toys -- he's got the pack rat gene), that now I can't do because I'm a stupid head and screwed myself up. Then we had lunch with my mom and sister (which I would not have arranged knowing this was my son's last day -- instead I would have stayed in my grubby clothes and tackled the other areas of the house which are in desparate shape) and I happened to have a new purse (for summer, still planning to use my black one for fall and winter) and my mom said she hated my old purse and thought it was perfectly horrible at first sight, but didn't think my new purse was going to hold all my stuff and did I want one of hers??? It's so utterly petty, but it totally insulted me. She said it looks like something an old lady would wear. I assure it is not, it's a Fossil purse and it was not a cheap, dumpy purse! On top of that I can't tell them I'm on WW because every time I talk to them they will ask, "So what have you had to eat today???" and tell me about the boiled cabbage and canned ocra they ate and tell me they've lost umpteen million pounds (of course, it always goes back on when they can't stomach the boiled cabbage anymore). So I ended up over eating because they bought my lunch and would have been offended if I had either, A) insisted on buying my own, or B) only ate a salad since it's a buffet and I'm mad at myself for overeating!!! So how's that for a fine how dya do? I am really annoyed and have been in a bad mood this afternoon, but I'm beginning to see the humor in it because it truly is so utterly petty. Gawd, I'm such a GOOF!

So I hope your birthday goes well tomorrow, LOL!

 

[Ellen]

*hugging lumpkin*

 

[FireGoddess]

Awww lumpkin, just shake this day off ya, girl. It sounds like it was a doozy. Shake that nasty thing off ya.

Cehra, have a great birthday tomorrow!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 7:37:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I would write a longer post in your thread but I can''t possibly, seeing as I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning and have to eat dinner and go to bed in between now and then.

omg you *crack* me up!!!!! that''s exactly it! And it''s sincere, not snotty LOL

 

[hlmr]

Happy birthday Cehra....they never turn out exactly the way we want them to, do they?!

lumpkin, I hate days like those!!!!! Tomorrow will definitely be a better day!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 8:22:38 PM
Author: lumpkin

Date: 5/30/2007 7:35:39 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 5/30/2007 6:50:22 PM
Author: lumpkin
I''m in a bad mood today, so I don''t even want to get started on this one! I will say, I have people in my life with scheduling/sticking to a plan issues and I get very exasperated with them.

Happy birthday, Cehra!

awwww, I hope you have a better day tomorrow! I have to say though I really want to hear your grumpy stories so I can comiserate LOL

I have no one but myself to blame.Do you ever have an idea in your head that is so appealing that even when faced with evidence that your idea is erroneous you push the evidence aside in favor of your idea, then later be faced with the fact that your idea was wrong? Well, I did that. And it''s kind of a scheduling issue. I thought my son had one more half day of school tomorrow. Two days ago I saw on my calendar that today was the last day, but I decided I must have entered it incorrectly in my calendar. So I had all these plans for tomorrow morning (nothing exciting, just cleaning out his room when he''s not there to guard his old, useless toys -- he''s got the pack rat gene), that now I can''t do because I''m a stupid head and screwed myself up. Then we had lunch with my mom and sister (which I would not have arranged knowing this was my son''s last day -- instead I would have stayed in my grubby clothes and tackled the other areas of the house which are in desparate shape) and I happened to have a new purse (for summer, still planning to use my black one for fall and winter) and my mom said she hated my old purse and thought it was perfectly horrible at first sight, but didn''t think my new purse was going to hold all my stuff and did I want one of hers??? It''s so utterly petty, but it totally insulted me. She said it looks like something an old lady would wear. I assure it is not, it''s a Fossil purse and it was not a cheap, dumpy purse! On top of that I can''t tell them I''m on WW because every time I talk to them they will ask, ''So what have you had to eat today???'' and tell me about the boiled cabbage and canned ocra they ate and tell me they''ve lost umpteen million pounds (of course, it always goes back on when they can''t stomach the boiled cabbage anymore). So I ended up over eating because they bought my lunch and would have been offended if I had either, A) insisted on buying my own, or B) only ate a salad since it''s a buffet and I''m mad at myself for overeating!!! So how''s that for a fine how dya do? I am really annoyed and have been in a bad mood this afternoon, but I''m beginning to see the humor in it because it truly is so utterly petty. Gawd, I''m such a GOOF!

So I hope your birthday goes well tomorrow, LOL!

awwwww ((((lumpkin)))) So, you lost a day off from the kid just to spend your last one feeling miserable

I do that with food... I can give away every single M&M in the bag but if I think I have one more left and someone takes it or asks for it I''m like in a panic LOL Okay so its not the same and I obviously have a food issue there LOL But thinking you have one more of anything just to find out you don''t is always such a disappointment to me.

 

[Love in Bloom]

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y C E H R A!

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 5/30/2007 7:37:31 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I would write a longer post in your thread but I can't possibly, seeing as I have to go to a meeting tomorrow morning and have to eat dinner and go to bed in between now and then.

You are so bad, FG!!!

I hate to admit this

but that's me in a nutshell! Not quite that bad, but whenever I don't leave plenty of room in my day, s@&t always happens and I end up scrambling around. But I do have an awful lot of time to post on this board. Hmmm, I can ALWAYS squeeze that in, LOL!

ETA: Thanks you guys, you are the best.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Cehra, you know, that does bug me. I don''t like the message her response sends. She is obviously a little self absorbed. I wish I could go to lunch with you! Sometimes cyber-friends are better than the real life ones!!!

Happy Birthday!!!!

 

[anchor31]

Happy birthday Cehra! It sucks when people aren''t willing to keep their commitments.

 

[iheartscience]

I hope you have a happy birthday anyway, Cehra! That sucks about your friend! But I was laughing so hard at FG''s comment! I have friends EXACTLY like that...I might have to go on a threadjacking rampage real quick, in fact...

My best friend is the worst person ever to make plans with. She''ll call me before I go into work (we work at the same place) and be like "Let''s go shopping/hang out/do whatever when we get off of work!" Then I swear to God, almost EVERY single time she won''t go! I never even expect her to do anything with me anymore because she does it to me every time! AAAARRRGH!

It really gets a little depressing because I never have been the type to have a lot of good friends, just one or two good friends and a lot of acquaintance friends, if you know what I mean. She''s pretty much my only friend (I do have one other good friend I don''t see as much) and I mostly just see her at work these days. I''m just like, don''t bother pretending to make plans with me, okay? Everytime she does it now I just say "I knew you wouldn''t really go shopping/whatever with me." And I don''t even bother asking her to do anything anymore. I guess I need a new friend or two, huh?

Anyways, sorry for the threadjack, I guess I needed to vent!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 10:13:44 PM
Author: thing2of2
I hope you have a happy birthday anyway, Cehra! That sucks about your friend! But I was laughing so hard at FG''s comment! I have friends EXACTLY like that...I might have to go on a threadjacking rampage real quick, in fact...

My best friend is the worst person ever to make plans with. She''ll call me before I go into work (we work at the same place) and be like ''Let''s go shopping/hang out/do whatever when we get off of work!'' Then I swear to God, almost EVERY single time she won''t go! I never even expect her to do anything with me anymore because she does it to me every time! AAAARRRGH!

It really gets a little depressing because I never have been the type to have a lot of good friends, just one or two good friends and a lot of acquaintance friends, if you know what I mean. She''s pretty much my only friend (I do have one other good friend I don''t see as much) and I mostly just see her at work these days. I''m just like, don''t bother pretending to make plans with me, okay? Everytime she does it now I just say ''I knew you wouldn''t really go shopping/whatever with me.'' And I don''t even bother asking her to do anything anymore. I guess I need a new friend or two, huh?

Anyways, sorry for the threadjack, I guess I needed to vent!

its not a threadjack - that''s what this thread is FOR!! LOL

I didn''t even go into my best friend of 20+ years and what SHE does... she is a grand orchistrator. She like having a jam packed schedule of THE best/funniest things to do so she makes tentative plans only until the last minute and the girl can pull some crazy stuff together. She is masterful at getting *everyone* to move their plans just a little here or there so she can squeeze it all in. I''ve seen her do this like a pro since high school and it has always irritated me so I''ve always been really stubborn with her and refused to budge LOL (this is where I was talking about how I was rigid back when LOL) She would come to me, do you want to go to the beach on saturday? And I''d be like Yeah! So in my head "beach on saturday" and in her head "beach SOMETIME on saturday. Then the time would change, leave in the am, no have an opportunity for brunch with mom so go in the afternoon, find out there''s a party in the afternoon, bump me to noon and move mom to breakfast. Find out the party is in the evening, move everyone back 1/2 hour so she can go shopping. Viola! *her* day is full. My "beach on saturday" is now on *her* schedule from noon to three LOL I can''t tell you how many times I said screw it and didn''t go because she was so irritating. She''s better now, when I catch her we laugh and I''m much more flexible. She definitely has a talent. Most don''t even know she''s doing this and the rest have no idea how frequent it is LOL

As for the friend thing, my perception of friendship has changed over the years.... and I can''t say I''m thrilled with it. I actually have more "friends" now than I did, L (above) has been my best friend since we were 14 but we never hung out together. We''re very different and drive each other nuts. Different groups in high school (same parties, just went with different people) and our friendship was almost a secret just because people didn''t expect us to be so close, and she was sr class president etc and has stayed in touch with soooo many people and I''ve not and at this point people know we''re friends but I suspect they''re still surprised a little.... and I have another best friend now that lives way too far away. She and I could be very good day to day buddies and in fact she stayed here with us at our house with her 2 kids for a month and it was effortless. She''s the type of person I want to entwine my life with and lean on and be leaned on and share things with day to day. I couldn''t do that with L we''re too different.

The person I wrote about in this thread is a newer friend... someone that I''ve just been getting to know the last month (this reminds me of independent gal''s thread in smtr lol) and everything just *clicked* but the more I know her the more I''m like... ugh.... too much hassle. She''s pregnant and probably more egocentric than usual (hey - been there, done that lol) and I thought I could enjoy it vicariously but for her right now there is very little other than her and her body so I have to keep that in perspective.

I do have another very good friend that is here that I''ve been friends with for about 4 years and we''re pretty close, but her dh is now working from home and they''re both addicted to world of warcraft so that''s been sucking a lot of her time LOL She is however the first one to go way out of her way to make my day special and nap the day before and make NO plans on that day and push everything aside, more than I even would hope for, she''s just so good at making people feel important and loved.

And I have a few other girls I like, one is coming tomorrow and its fairly effortless but not super connected. Wonderful lunch conversations and willingness to be there for one another, but go weeks without talking sometimes even though she is literally about 4 blocks away LOL

Another woman I''ve been liking is exactly my age and is a neurotic phd ready to have a child and she''s so quirky and unpredictable that I really enjoy her. She''s a bit tentative and yet very open.... I think if I put more effort into her it would pay off. I just find myself so jaded by so many misfired relationships over the years that I find myself just kinda not wanting to bother, how sad is that?

Another friend I''ve been friends with for 5 years has been calling me for months wanting to get together and I keep blowing her off.... I''ve not seen her since september and I don''t think she''s even noticed that I''ve been blowing her off LOL Back in october she was like, "we should get together in december because I can make some time then" and I''m like I know your schedule, you''re not *that* busy LOL But in truth I didn''t want to see her. Well her calls have gotten more frequent and more insistant and more pleading and less "Let me check my book" and I''m still blowing her off but now I''m feeling guilty about it. dh and I really like her husband LOL

My two best friends both live hundreds if not thousands of miles away... and I''m surrounded by good people I don''t appreciate as much as I should OR feel don''t appreciate me as much as they should. It''s all left me somewhat apathetic... oh well, here''s to all you can eat for FREE on your birthday! LOL

 

[strmrdr]

Happy birthday Cehra

 

[Gypsy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FRIEND!!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Hey, Cehra, at least we''re addicted to something better than World of WarCraft!!

 

[monarch64]

Happy Birthday Cehra!

If it makes you feel any better, my father visited me exactly two times when I was in college (I went to school 80 miles from my hometown), and has not one time in the past 4 years visited my DH and I since we got married and purchased our first home together. His excuse? He has to keep his routine, i.e. feeding his cat at his store downtown, mowing his 7 acre lawn, etc. Granted, he had a bad bout with cancer over the past few years but he''s always been this way, he will not deviate from his routine. He''ll drive 14 hours to Florida (hates to fly), but not 5 hours to see his only daughter. He is just a creature of habit and I''ve had to accept this about him and let go of resentment about it, because he will never change. I think there are people like that everywhere, they need the security of knowing they are in control of what happens in their lives every second. I hope you don''t take your friend''s turning you down personally, people are just plain WEIRD sometimes!

Enjoy your birthday!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 11:14:26 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Hey, Cehra, at least we''re addicted to something better than World of WarCraft!!

bahahaha touche! Hey, at least she indulges me when I have to look at something sparkley!!! We were looking at some stuff today and she liked this one:

(the diamonds on one end are smaller than the other - like a journey piece.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/30/2007 11:20:28 PM
Author: monarch64
Happy Birthday Cehra!

If it makes you feel any better, my father visited me exactly two times when I was in college (I went to school 80 miles from my hometown), and has not one time in the past 4 years visited my DH and I since we got married and purchased our first home together. His excuse? He has to keep his routine, i.e. feeding his cat at his store downtown, mowing his 7 acre lawn, etc. Granted, he had a bad bout with cancer over the past few years but he''s always been this way, he will not deviate from his routine. He''ll drive 14 hours to Florida (hates to fly), but not 5 hours to see his only daughter. He is just a creature of habit and I''ve had to accept this about him and let go of resentment about it, because he will never change. I think there are people like that everywhere, they need the security of knowing they are in control of what happens in their lives every second. I hope you don''t take your friend''s turning you down personally, people are just plain WEIRD sometimes!

Enjoy your birthday!

awwww, its so hard when its a parent

My mom was always a drop everything, spend her last time to see me and dh. His family is NOT like that - they''ve been here twice in 10 years nor is my father who was here twice also in the same # years LOL None of them ever came to see us on the west coast except my mom.

 

[divergrrl]

Happy Birthday Cehra!!!!

hey, I get you...my SIL is exactly like that. In fact, last month she totally blew me off when I called her to cry about my horror-flick quality amniocentisis gone bad. She couldn''t talk...for a week, because she was "so busy". Apparently, she is the worlds busiest schoolteacher and has not a second in her day for her sister-in-law who adores her & needed a shoulder. Apparently, she also is the only one in the world who has children & outside committments, and if other people claim to have those things, well, they can''t nearly be as demanding as hers!!!!

But then I guess I can never hope to understand, because, alas, I am a lowly housewife/stay-at-home mother with nothing to do, nowhere to go, oodles of time to spare, my toddler cares for himself & my pregnancy never makes me tired.

So I should just wait until she can drops crumbs of compassion my way, and if I don''t well then to hell with me.

Personally, I think people like this use their schedules to make themselves feel important.

Again...hippo birdies two ewes...

Diver

 

[diamondfan]

Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day...

I know people like this. I try to accomodate and fit things in and make people happy as best as I can, sometimes I simply cannot manage though. That is when I sort of revolt and decide to not budge. But I would not do that for a special occasion. Some people just need lots of build up or lead in time, they simply do not transition well from thing to thing, and they get a bit overwhelmed by any deviations or changes to their plans. They like things to be orderly and nice, and anything that involves juggling or rearranging wiggies them out. I am not like that too much, while I am not thrilled with tons of change, I do try to be go with the flow and flexible. LIfe comes at you, children get sick, sitters cancel, weather forces plans to change, so no sense is being so wedded to something. Likewise, being able to say, this one time I can leave early or I can miss blah blah once, is really a normal way to be in mho. I have some flakely friends who cannot take if a stiff wind comes up or last minute they decide to change the meeting place because they suddenly decide they do not like the place we chose earlier, or they vaccilate so much it makes me nuts, DECIDE already, it is not brain surgery for pity sake...that does annoy me since I try to be considerate of other people''s time. I would just let it go and know she needs tons of prep time. You can even say it, like Hey, I know you like to have your ducks in a row and be organized so here is the plan...and then leave it be. But no matter what have a great birthday!