Should I call CPS and try for an Amber Alert?

[NonieMarie]

I will just give the basics because this is just too unbelievable. My step-son and his wife have gone nuts. They have 4 children under the age of 4. For just over a week they have been driving from CA to UT to AZ to Ca. In the middle of that they flew to Baton Rouge, LA to see a childhood friend of his. They are both manic and talking about being selfish and that mothers are the cause of everyone's pain. The government is going to fail, the banks are going to fail and all this will happen in 90 days. They were here 2 days ago and said that they are going to live in Mexico. I explained that they would need passports and how would they live when the money ran out. I think they have $50k left of a large inheritance. Of course I got the usual delusional response that "God would provide." They have left their apt filled with brand new furniture, a recently purchased corvette and a truck in San Diego and are driving 24/7. I don't know if they paid the Nov rent.
Her cell phone has been off for a few days and he left his at my brother-in-law's yesterday. They say that fruits and vegetables will kill you and that they don't need to sleep. There is no such thing as ADD (she is off her ADD meds), manic depression, or alcoholism. His mother lives with my step-daughter and is totally nuts. She refuses to get help so we've all worked around her outbursts and imaginary friends.
Before he went nuts he said he was suicidal and that his wife was going to leave him because she was not happy. They watched a couples video about being selfish and all their problems were gone. This is only a small fraction of the crazy behavior, all their family and friends are very worried. I have the license plate number of their car. What should I do?

 

[Amber St. Clare]

In a word: Yes, call the authoritie before something tragic happens.

 

[amc80]

You could call cps but honestly I'm not sure there is much you could do unless you can prove the kids are in danger. Sad situation all around.

 

[Tuckins1]

Cite child endangerment. Call immediately.

 

[JewelFreak]

Definitely call. This IS child endangerment. Is someone around to give you moral support? Dust from here -- and please keep us informed when you can! Hugs & hugs!

--- Laurie

 

[yennyfire]

I would call. It sounds like the kids aren't in a safe environment. The worst that happens is that CPS can't do anything...sending hugs your way.

 

[movie zombie]

call law enforcement.
explain the situation.
if they can't do anything, then call CPS.
explain the situation.
in both instances state emphatically that the children are endangered.
be prepared to state why they are endangered: not taking meds, ranting, moving to mexico w/o documents, etc.
if they say they can't do anything, you tried.
and try you must because if something happens to those kids, well, you won't forgive yourself for not trying.
and be clear with CPS and/or LE that the blame for anything that happens to those kids will be their responsibility.
good luck.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Do you know where they are? Every county has a crisis center. You can call and get them involved. They can help with the hospital admission process as well. Here is something that is very important to remember. If they are manic than they probably will not go to the hospital voluntarily. People like being manic. They do not think there is a problem. The police WILL become involved and can order them a 72 hour protection hold and then there will be a hearing. THERE ARE NO CRIMINAL CHARGES. It is only to protect the patient from hurting themselves or other people. There is also something called a "three party petition" which means three separate people will testify they are a danger to themselves or others. Usually it is family members. The benefits of having the county involved is they can do a med order (force them to take meds) as well as many other stipulations and if violated (usually the patient agrees to a 90 day-6 month time period), the county can bring them back to the hospital.

If you don't know where they are call the police ASAP.

This is what I do so if you have any questions about the process, being in the hospital, etc, feel free to ask. Best of luck. I know this is very difficult to do but you have to look out for those kids. They are too little to protect themselves.

 

[Smith1942]

Dust dust dust! Untreated mental illness in the family is no joke. I know.

I think you should call. It's better to call and then you'll know you've done what you can.

 

[lulu]

If I understand you, you don't know where they are right now. Is that correct?

 

[momhappy]

Your post is very confusing, but I think what you said is that the family hasn't been seen for two days and they are driving 24/7 in a vehicle with 4 children under the age of 4? If you truly suspect that the children are in danger, then yes, I would call authorities and briefly explain the circumstances (but I wouldn't be surprised if they were not able to do anything).

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Your post is very confusing, but I think what you said is that the family hasn't been seen for two days and they are driving 24/7 in a vehicle with 4 children under the age of 4? If you truly suspect that the children are in danger, then yes, I would call authorities and briefly explain the circumstances (but I wouldn't be surprised if they were not able to do anything).

Provide the police with any documentation of Mental Illness you have (e.g. hospital dates, diagnoses, prior suicide attempts, etc). Should increase urgency to find them.

 

[NonieMarie]

I drove to my brother-in-law's to pick up the phone. He did not want them back at his house. My daughter called and said that they finally turned on daughter-in-law's phone and answered it. They have not left the Bay Area and are heading back up to my house (outside of Sacramento)so they can pick up the phone. They have new revelations to share so I will reevaluate the situation and see if they will tell me exactly where they are going. My sister just called and said that they match all the criteria for an Amber Alert except the kids aren't abducted. We talked about a welfare check. If they are seen by the Highway Patrol, they can be pulled over because the 4 year old is too small to be in the front seat.....god said that he should sit there.
Now it is a waiting game to see when they will show up.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

PLEASE call your local crisis center and let THEM evaluate them. They know what to look for and are objective.

 

[TooPatient]

Big hugs to you!

You've gotten great advice and I can't add anything other than to say I'll be thinking of you and the kids. I hope you're able to get assistance and that the kids will be safe.

 

[ChristineRose]

Just FYI--there are no Amber Alerts for children that are with the person who legally has custody of them (custodial parent or legal guardian).

 

[TooPatient]

Just FYI--there are no Amber Alerts for children that are with the person who legally has custody of them (custodial parent or legal guardian).

There are in Washington state. Not sure how other states do this though.

In WA, there can be an Amber alert (and was just a couple of weeks ago) for a child with a legal custodian if there is reason to believe they are in danger. Not sure of the exact criteria, but I have seen this done.

 

[kenny]

I'd certainly call CPS, but I would not hold my breath that anyone can do anything.
You mentioned they said, "God will provide".
Since religions are protected to teach whatever they want, even that a virgin had a baby, that aspect of this disaster is going nowhere fast.
And parents get to do nearly whatever they want with and to their own kids.

Where CPS draws the line, I don't know but I'd definitely report what you know.
Those poor poor kids.

I'm sincerely so very sorry this is happening in your family.
Much worse happened in mine, so I understand the irony and tragedy of how society and the law protect the "sacred" institutions of religion and family, and the unspeakable horrors that result from that so-called 'protection'.

 

[mary poppins]

Sorry to hear you are going through this situation. I recommend looking into involuntary commitment which occurs when someone is a danger to him/herself or others, which sounds like the case here. The key to accomplishing this is saying the person is a danger to him/herself or others, and also mental illness off medication.

California 5150 72 Hour Mental Heath Hold is described here: http://www.mhac.org/help/hotlines.cfm

Local numbers, including Sacramento, are here when you click on the link in the "What if my friend or relative is in crisis and does not want help?" section: http://www.kqed.org/w/hope/emergency.html

CPS may get involved after that. If possible, maybe you or other family members could volunteer to take care of the kids so they aren't taken away and placed with unrelated person(s) or agency(ies).

Best of luck to you and your family. Sending dust to all who are affected.

ETA: mental illness and off medication in first paragraph.

 

[Karl_K]

Kenny, I find your comments insulting and out of line.

To the OP.
Yes talk to the authorizes.

Sorry to hear about this situation and will be praying for a safe resolution for everyone involved.

 

[kenny]

You are not going to find a judge to tell this couple that God helps those who help themselves so stop squandering away that $50,000.
Endangering 4 children because of their religious beliefs can be addressed.
The OP bringing up these people's religious beliefs into the explanation of the problem can be addressed.
Religions often get people to do nutty stuff as was described here.

Why not call a spade a spade, instead of tiptoeing around the elephant in the room and pretending that silence is somehow niceness?
Transparency has nothing to be ashamed of.
One great thing about the Internet is that it takes us out of our selected social circle and puts us in tough with more of a cross-section of society.
I'm infinitely more respectful of religious people than I was 10 years ago precisely because I've met so many wonderful religious people via the Internet.

 

[LaraOnline]

In this context I actually find Kenny's comments refreshing.
Perhaps Nonimarie should offer to keep the kids with her?

 

[lknvrb4]

Sounds like a complete disaster, I really hope this gets resolved for the safety of the children.

 

[artdecogirl]

So sorry this is happening in your family NonieMarie.. handfuls of dust coming your way in hopes of a safe outcome for all

 

[momhappy]

Kenny, I find your comments insulting and out of line.

To the OP.
Yes talk to the authorizes.

Sorry to hear about this situation and will be praying for a safe resolution for everyone involved.

I don't find Kenny's comments insulting and out of line at all

 

[packrat]

wow-I hope something can be done. Iowa maybe is different than California but just from JD's experiences on the police force and with DHS/CPS, I wouldn't expect much to happen.

Sadly, Kenny is pretty spot on w/the whole being able to do whatever w/to your own kids.

I'd still contact the police/cps to at least have things on record, just in case.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Most definitely call the police first, it's their job to help you and they may be able to give you some options you hadn't considered.

Keep it simple, try to avoid using words like "nuts" and "crazy." Explain that you believe the parents are in the middle of a manic episode and have young children in their care. Use voicemails or whatever else is on hand to strengthen your case for concern.

Sending good energy your way.

 

[House Cat]

Kenny, religious themes are very common in the presence of psychosis and mania. A mental health judge will recognize this and act in the best interest of the children.

 

[decodelighted]

Kenny, religious themes are very common in the presence of psychosis and mania. A mental health judge will recognize this and act in the best interest of the children.

Exactly. This doesn't sound like a case of religious fervor at all.

But for those skeptical of "kooky religion" - it's easy to use instances like these to further their own beliefs. We all like "evidence" to prove ourselves right.

OP, good luck and I'll be thinking of your family. I really don't know what to suggest. It's very difficult to get someone 5150'd. And not sure if child protective services in YOUR area will be motivated to step in (since they live elsehwere). Maybe that's part of the "stay on the move"strategy they are using. You could call your local police and ask what they'd recommend. Or a CPS hotline? OOf. Awful.

 

[junebug17]

Kenny, I find your comments insulting and out of line.

To the OP.
Yes talk to the authorizes.

Sorry to hear about this situation and will be praying for a safe resolution for everyone involved.

I don't find Kenny's comments insulting and out of line at all

Maybe it has something to do with bringing up a religious tenet that has absolutely nothing to do with this discussion and then adding an eye roll …I think it's pretty obvious he was making a thinly veiled criticism and judgement…and I'm not religious, just saying…

Noniemarie, good luck with this situation, I would also make some phone calls in an effort to see if anything can be done…I agree with deco that it's tricky since they're just roaming around right now - but I guess you could start with cps in your town and go from there.