Post by Arkteia » June 26th, 2010, 5:06 pm
I remember talking to an office manager shortly after I moved to this country.  She looked young but that day she was very, very much frustrated.  Apparently, she just broke with her boyfriend with whom she had lived for 6 years and felt that she was alone, unmarried and her biological clock was ticking...

I asked her (actually, advised, I was so naive + a different culture where people advise a lot...) if she ever thought having a child for herself?  She looked at me wide-eyed and said she "was not that type" or "not so desperate".  She also asked me how could I think so lowly of her.

In my culture, it is perfectly appropriate for a woman to have a child for herself if she has not found a proper guy.  These women are never disrespected, in fact, no one asks them a question and people try to quietly help. 

Here, many people I know somehow equate having kids out-of-wedlock as "prerogative" of low-income women who want to get on state support.  I have seen it several times - a nice, well-educated woman who gets pregnant, is debating whether she should keep or leave the baby, and her first question is, "how would I explain it to my friends or coworkers?" 

What do you think of it?  Personally, I would totally embrace a woman who does the most unselfish things - brings a child into this world.  But maybe there is something I still can not grasp?