Do you have a "Hater" in your life?

[jaysonsmom]

Do you have people that hate you for no reason?

I think I'm a gregarious, and happy person that most people take to really fast, and most people like me. I have never had any conflicts with anyone.

However, I have two haters. One was from my past, an ex-coworker whom I rarely spoke to, and didn't work in the same department wiuth. We never crossed paths but she was a bitter and jealous person who had plenty to say about me...Thank goodness I left the job, and no longer have to face her everyday.

My other is none other than my husband's own sister. She seems to dislike me because I apparently have everything she wants, and she may be insecure? Who knows. All I know is that she is openly rude and hostile to me, and I hate family gatherings at holidays. All I can say is that I'm glad the next time I have to be inthe same room as her is probably May. So relieved Thanksgiving and Christmas are over

Anyways, don't know why I posted this, I guess I'm hoping that I'm not the only person who has haters for no apparent reason.

 

[Amys Bling]

in highschool a group of girls "hated" on me. I never did anything to them, was never mean to them, etc. My guess? some sort of jealous. I wasn't the most popular girl in school but had a high school sweetheart (now my DH) was state ranked in sports, in Honors and AP courses, and my group of friends were well liked. I know they talked about me- and I even joked about it to my friends. who know.... where are they now? hmm,- still doing the same childish things they did in HS. oh well- can't let haters get to you.

 

[Amys Bling]

Do you have people that hate you for no reason?

I think I'm a gregarious, and happy person that most people take to really fast, and most people like me. I have never had any conflicts with anyone.

However, I have two haters. One was from my past, an ex-coworker whom I rarely spoke to, and didn't work in the same department wiuth. We never crossed paths but she was a bitter and jealous person who had plenty to say about me...Thank goodness I left the job, and no longer have to face her everyday.

My other is none other than my husband's own sister. She seems to dislike me because I apparently have everything she wants, and she may be insecure? Who knows. All I know is that she is openly rude and hostile to me, and I hate family gatherings at holidays. All I can say is that I'm glad the next time I have to be inthe same room as her is probably May. So relieved Thanksgiving and Christmas are overAnyways, don't know why I posted this, I guess I'm hoping that I'm not the only person who has haters for no apparent reason.

really sorry to hear this. It's not uncommon though- I know several people who have "competition" issues with SILs. Don't know what it is, but seems like there is a sense of who has what or doing what tends to happen among SIL relationships.

 

[jaysonsmom]

in highschool a group of girls "hated" on me. I never did anything to them, was never mean to them, etc. My guess? some sort of jealous. I wasn't the most popular girl in school but had a high school sweetheart (now my DH) was state ranked in sports, in Honors and AP courses, and my group of friends were well liked. I know they talked about me- and I even joked about it to my friends. who know.... where are they now? hmm,- still doing the same childish things they did in HS. oh well- can't let haters get to you.

So glad I'm not the only one with "haters". Unfortunately, they do get to me, don't know why.

There was a point when I was extremely upset by my SIL's open hostility towards me, and I asked my niece (her daughter), who was about 13 at the time. She told me her mom caught her dad "looking at me" a certain way, and got into a huge fight with him about it. I was not in the wrong, but somehow her hatred of me started from that point on. Nowadays I consciously avoid her husband, and he even avoids eye contact with me for fear of being called out for "looking" at me. Yes, haters do exhibit childish behaviors.

Looking back I should have taken the high road, and not have involved my niece, but at least now I know part of the reason for the jealousy, and that part I can definitely avoid.

 

[Amys Bling]

in highschool a group of girls "hated" on me. I never did anything to them, was never mean to them, etc. My guess? some sort of jealous. I wasn't the most popular girl in school but had a high school sweetheart (now my DH) was state ranked in sports, in Honors and AP courses, and my group of friends were well liked. I know they talked about me- and I even joked about it to my friends. who know.... where are they now? hmm,- still doing the same childish things they did in HS. oh well- can't let haters get to you.

So glad I'm not the only one with "haters". Unfortunately, they do get to me, don't know why.

There was a point when I was extremely upset by my SIL's open hostility towards me, and I asked my niece (her daughter), who was about 13 at the time. She told me her mom caught her dad "looking at me" a certain way, and got into a huge fight with him about it. I was not in the wrong, but somehow her hatred of me started from that point on. Nowadays I consciously avoid her husband, and he even avoids eye contact with me for fear of being called out for "looking" at me. Yes, haters do exhibit childish behaviors.

Looking back I should have taken the high road, and not have involved my niece, but at least now I know part of the reason for the jealousy, and that part I can definitely avoid.

I think it's terrible that your neice was privy to that information! How terrible for her to overhear that...

 

[Tuckins1]

Yes. Girls are jealous beasts....

 

[LAJennifer]

I don't THINK I do, but who knows. There were several times, back in college and at my former job, where I would meet a girl/woman and after spending some time with me they would say, "Wow, you're really cool. I totally didn't like you before I met you." I always thought that was odd.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I don't THINK I do, but who knows. There were several times, back in college and at my former job, where I would meet a girl/woman and after spending some time with me they would say, "Wow, you're really cool. I totally didn't like you before I met you." I always thought that was odd.

Yup, that would make them reformed "haters". At least your's admitted their feelings!

At one point I tried to win over my SIL (kill her with kindness), but I'm over it now.

 

[Skippy123]

I don't THINK I do, but who knows. There were several times, back in college and at my former job, where I would meet a girl/woman and after spending some time with me they would say, "Wow, you're really cool. I totally didn't like you before I met you." I always thought that was odd.

Yup, that would make them reformed "haters". At least your's admitted their feelings!

At one point I tried to win over my SIL (kill her with kindness), but I'm over it now.

that is good because no matter what you do they aren't going to like you, they probably are jealous or insecure, if they are haters. sorry.

I had a couple but I ignore them because they aren't going to get me down but a SIL is tough. I am sorry, hugs

 

[tuffyluvr]

I have dealt with 'haters' at several points in my life. Sadly, the biggest hater was my high school best friend. She and I were friends for about 12 years, and I knew she talked behind my back and was jealous that I made new friends more easily and got attention from boys. She shamelessly flirted with my boyfriends, and would do and say things to embarrass me in front of boys.

I let it go because I we had been friends for so long and people would always remark that she was jealous of me. I actually felt bad. Why I felt bad for being popular and pretty is beyond me?!?! I didn't end the friendship until my HS sweetheart came to me a couple years after we broke up and told me some of the rumors she spread about me and that she had made sexual advances towards him.

She is such a chickensh!t that she told our mutual friends that she didn't know why I had severed ties with her. Not the most mature response, but after what she did to me it felt pretty good to tell them to watch her around their boyfriends because she had bl@wn mine after a frat party. Haha

 

[kenny]

I thought this thread would be about millinery.

 

[ame]

OH yes. All through grade and HS. And those same people are STILL hating on me. I went to WW meetings and really enjoyed the group I had. One night, I sat down with my friend who also went with me, and about 10 minutes later two girls from school (who went to both grade and HS with me) sat down right in front of us, they just had joined. When they saw me, they made sure they sat in the seats right in front of us, making people move to let them sit there. Then they spent the entire first 15 minutes talking about what a loser I was and still am, how I am lying about being married, my rings are probably fake, and if not I am just a big enough loser to buy my own real ones to pass off as fake (yea bec this is the last name I would select???) and that all I care about is being cool to people who don't know me and how they like when they can expose the real me, and how funny it was when they pants'd me in the cafeteria, and when they damaged my school science project with geodes my dad and I cracked, and all the rocks I collected went all over the place, and the best was when they ripped the bathroom door off the wall and hinges at the school skating party in 6th grade while I was peeing in the stall. I happened to be in the stall that if you were outside of the bathroom you can just see right in, no door on the bathroom at all. So I am now being watched by 270 kids from 6th-8th grade, and laughed at MERCILESSLY. I went about my business, trying to not show an ounce of emotion about it. Washed my hands and went back out to the table my friends were seated at. One of them was laughing, the other was like...mortified for me. She called her mom to immediately come get us and I rode home silently. I bet you can guess who remained my friend after that.

Anyway..this group of girls literally make it a point to bring that up, and any other abuses they threw at me, even now over 20 years later. In public if ever possible. The middle of Target, WW apparently. Whenever they can. People who haven't seen me and have NEVER gotten to know anything about me ever at all, and only RANDOMLY run into me in passing at the store. Sp they spent the entire night in Weight Watchers talking about that and anything else they could muster, including why am I in ww, oh it's because I am fat, and how I am just fat, I don't even have kids so I have no excuse, and everyone around them was shushing them. My friend ripped into them in her loud whisper about how they're also in WW, kids or not, they're equally overweight, so get over it or get out. My leader stopped the meeting about 5 minutes later and said "I am going to ask you both to leave, you're being disrespectful to me and everyone else who paid to be here. We'll refund your fees, please turn in your materials at the counter. Your behavior is not what we're about here. Please find another weight loss plan." The whole room erupted. My leader pulled me aside before I left and hugged me. And I seriously started BAWLING. And then I was mortified for showing that emotion in public.

Those same people are friends of other friends of mine, and would get togehter and post things on Facebook about the same things mentioned above and far more on my wall, I guess trying to get to me. I would just delete and or block what didn't need to be up there. I did leave a few up so people would be able to see what losers these people were.

I have NO idea why these people disliked me, we all were on the same sports teams, many of which my dad coached until high school. Maybe they just thought I was a dork bec it was my dad, who they all always want to say hi to, still to this day. He knows about that WW incident, and I know he mentioned it to someone's parents which just incited another flurry of that crap in my life, I know he meant well but I am in my 30s now. I can handle it! I don't know if they just thought I was a dork, I have no idea. I have the same small group of close friends as I did in HS, and a few from college/jobs, and because of these people they know about all the torment I got. But you'd think after all this time they'd get LIVES and move on.

 

[kenny]

Yes, millions and millions of them.

They vote anti-equality when it comes to marriage.

 

[ame]

Yes, millions and millions of them.

They vote anti-equality when it comes to marriage.

And they SUCK. Each and every one of them!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Wow Ame, I don't even know what to say, it's like the mean girls movie. (((((Hugs))))). Aren't you just amazed that there are people who are so hateful? They must think so little of themselves that they would put themselves in a bad light just to hurt you.

 

[jaysonsmom]

For what it's worth Kenny, I don't think you have any haters on PS, only a bunch of us jealous gals that are lusting after your bling!

 

[tuffyluvr]

Ame--what. The. S#!t?!?! I cannot fathom why anyone would act like that or treat another person like that. What utter and complete a$$holes. I would say sorry for what they have put you through, but I'm not sorry for you. Wow. You are so strong for staying in your home town and enduring them trying to put you down. If I were you I would have moved away to get as far from those b!t@#es as I could. You are obviously a very strong person, and that is admirable. And those 4-letter-c-words need to grow up. They are effed up.

 

[Amys Bling]

Sorry ame, I can't imagine others treating people like that! Seriously- that is a whole lot of effort to treat someone like that.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Sorry ame, I can't imagine others treating people like that! Seriously- that is a whole lot of effort to treat someone like that.

Seriously!!!! I wish irony upon those b!t@#es!!!!!

 

[tammy77]

Nope, not anymore. I don't put up with that $h!t now that I'm an adult.

 

[Tuckins1]

OH yes. All through grade and HS. And those same people are STILL hating on me. I went to WW meetings and really enjoyed the group I had. One night, I sat down with my friend who also went with me, and about 10 minutes later two girls from school (who went to both grade and HS with me) sat down right in front of us, they just had joined. When they saw me, they made sure they sat in the seats right in front of us, making people move to let them sit there. Then they spent the entire first 15 minutes talking about what a loser I was and still am, how I am lying about being married, my rings are probably fake, and if not I am just a big enough loser to buy my own real ones to pass off as fake (yea bec this is the last name I would select???) and that all I care about is being cool to people who don't know me and how they like when they can expose the real me, and how funny it was when they pants'd me in the cafeteria, and when they damaged my school science project with geodes my dad and I cracked, and all the rocks I collected went all over the place, and the best was when they ripped the bathroom door off the wall and hinges at the school skating party in 6th grade while I was peeing in the stall. I happened to be in the stall that if you were outside of the bathroom you can just see right in, no door on the bathroom at all. So I am now being watched by 270 kids from 6th-8th grade, and laughed at MERCILESSLY. I went about my business, trying to not show an ounce of emotion about it. Washed my hands and went back out to the table my friends were seated at. One of them was laughing, the other was like...mortified for me. She called her mom to immediately come get us and I rode home silently. I bet you can guess who remained my friend after that.

Anyway..this group of girls literally make it a point to bring that up, and any other abuses they threw at me, even now over 20 years later. In public if ever possible. The middle of Target, WW apparently. Whenever they can. People who haven't seen me and have NEVER gotten to know anything about me ever at all, and only RANDOMLY run into me in passing at the store. Sp they spent the entire night in Weight Watchers talking about that and anything else they could muster, including why am I in ww, oh it's because I am fat, and how I am just fat, I don't even have kids so I have no excuse, and everyone around them was shushing them. My friend ripped into them in her loud whisper about how they're also in WW, kids or not, they're equally overweight, so get over it or get out. My leader stopped the meeting about 5 minutes later and said "I am going to ask you both to leave, you're being disrespectful to me and everyone else who paid to be here. We'll refund your fees, please turn in your materials at the counter. Your behavior is not what we're about here. Please find another weight loss plan." The whole room erupted. My leader pulled me aside before I left and hugged me. And I seriously started BAWLING. And then I was mortified for showing that emotion in public.

Those same people are friends of other friends of mine, and would get togehter and post things on Facebook about the same things mentioned above and far more on my wall, I guess trying to get to me. I would just delete and or block what didn't need to be up there. I did leave a few up so people would be able to see what losers these people were.

I have NO idea why these people disliked me, we all were on the same sports teams, many of which my dad coached until high school. Maybe they just thought I was a dork bec it was my dad, who they all always want to say hi to, still to this day. He knows about that WW incident, and I know he mentioned it to someone's parents which just incited another flurry of that crap in my life, I know he meant well but I am in my 30s now. I can handle it! I don't know if they just thought I was a dork, I have no idea. I have the same small group of close friends as I did in HS, and a few from college/jobs, and because of these people they know about all the torment I got. But you'd think after all this time they'd get LIVES and move on.

What bi@#%es!! I hate girls like that! That's how I got my best friend in middle school... She was the victim of TERRIBLE bullying. We were at a birthday party and the whole point of the party was to humiliate her and harass her at every turn. Once I knew what was up, I warned her and thwarted their efforts all night. The other bitchy girls hated me form then on, but I gained a really sweet friend. Screw those girls!

 

[Mayk]

For what it's worth Kenny, I don't think you have any haters on PS, only a bunch of us jealous gals that are lusting after your bling!

Yes, yes, yes, yes envy!!!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I used to, she was my best friend and a hater all at the same time. I eventually decided I was done with feeling guilty because of her. We are not friends anymore and I couldn't be happier!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I have a million of 'em.

Want to really pi$$ 'em off? Walk around with a great big smile--they'll make themselves sick wondering what you're so happy about.

 

[mary poppins]

I used to, she was my best friend and a hater all at the same time. I eventually decided I was done with feeling guilty because of her. We are not friends anymore and I couldn't be happier!

Known as frenemy or frenemesis.

 

[junebug17]

I have a million of 'em.

Want to really pi$$ 'em off? Walk around with a great big smile--they'll make themselves sick wondering what you're so happy about.

Absolutely agree - Living well is the best revenge.

 

[Amys Bling]

I have a million of 'em.

Want to really pi$$ 'em off? Walk around with a great big smile--they'll make themselves sick wondering what you're so happy about.

Absolutely agree - Living well is the best revenge.

agreed.

 

[ame]

Wow Ame, I don't even know what to say, it's like the mean girls movie. (((((Hugs))))). Aren't you just amazed that there are people who are so hateful? They must think so little of themselves that they would put themselves in a bad light just to hurt you.

Ame--what. The. S#!t?!?! I cannot fathom why anyone would act like that or treat another person like that. What utter and complete a$$holes. I would say sorry for what they have put you through, but I'm not sorry for you. Wow. You are so strong for staying in your home town and enduring them trying to put you down. If I were you I would have moved away to get as far from those b!t@#es as I could. You are obviously a very strong person, and that is admirable. And those 4-letter-c-words need to grow up. They are effed up.

Sorry ame, I can't imagine others treating people like that! Seriously- that is a whole lot of effort to treat someone like that.

What bi@#%es!! I hate girls like that! That's how I got my best friend in middle school... She was the victim of TERRIBLE bullying. We were at a birthday party and the whole point of the party was to humiliate her and harass her at every turn. Once I knew what was up, I warned her and thwarted their efforts all night. The other bitchy girls hated me form then on, but I gained a really sweet friend. Screw those girls!

Yea someone using a party to bully someone is pretty messed up.

I have plenty of reasons to have people hate on me now, I am fairly successful, I am happy, I have "stuff" I don't need but can easily afford, I didn't rush to get married, I have no kids and therefore money and freedom (hah hah) and I am direct and generally tactless. But in 6th grade or gradeschool as a whole? I don't really understand that. I am a naturally sarcastic and direct person. As much as I try to find tact and self-control at speaking my mind, it comes out, just like with my grandma, my dad, my mom....we're very...word vomit people. But in 6th grade, I was just like any other kid. I was not popular, I know I was a nerd, and a dork. But It was like...vengeful attack back then and I have never really grasped why. They just needed something to do I guess.

I didn't go to the reunions, and really don't want to, but I do recall at my 10th HS one, the girl who had planned that only invited people she wanted to have there, and I was not on that list (I was perfectly ok with that!) and this year the same person is involved in a grade school one, and did the same thing. But I used to work with a girl I went to HS with that hung out with those girls, and she and I got along fine at work. We decided to go together to the reunion because my husband was going to be out of town visiting his mom that weekend, an after the reunion, I saw all these photos tagged on Facebook of the reunion, and my coworker was like "I thought she said she was hanging out with her parents that night?" I was like "she just didn't want to be affiliated with me". My one partner was like "yknow, I know you told me about her when we interviewed her and how fake and conformy she is to her clique du jour, she's even cloning her attire after A. over there (and she was!) but that's totally obnoxious. You might have been a loser then, but you're definitely only a little losery now!" (I laughed at that btw bec I knew he was kidding). And when confronted about it by the coworker that also saw the pics, she lied about it. There were other issues with her work but she ended up being relieved of her position not long after that, and while I didn't have much say in that decision, I was so relieved when they let her go. I was embarrassed that I let her talk me into going, and then she ditched me like that, but it just made my point about her being a big fraud totally obvious to other people. But for this next one...thankfully another person on the committee took over because the original girl doing it is obnoxious, the new person was like "I kind of actually do want to see more than these 30 people on your list, yknow. Maybe I wasn't friends with them back then but it's been over 20 years, I'd like to see them and how they turned out". So it's at a different location and the other person said "don't bother inviting me then". So we'll see if I bother with that. PROBABLY not.

Ah well. I am who I am. Some people don't like it. I am not the life of any party, nor am I very easy to like, I am not positive polly, I never have been my whole life. But Im ok with that. And anyone else who is at all interested in being in my life is just accepting of that!

 

[dani13]

WOW, Amy, I am APPALLED at that story. Do those women have children? I feel so so sorry for their kids if they are. What UTTER LOSERS. I'm so mad for you!! I just can't believe that grown women would behave that way.

 

[AGBF]

ame-

Your experience reminds me incredibly of my daughter's. (I started to write an essay about it, but decided to keep this simple and on message!) My point is that although you and she are not outwardly alike, you both seem to draw relentless bullying.

Do you have a core group of friends in the area in which you are living now?

Hugs,
Deb/AGBF