Are YOU Hosting Thanksgiving This Year?

[iLander]

Are you hosting this year? No? Why not? Yes? What are you looking forward to and/or dreading?

Me? Heck no!

I'm soooooo over the hosting Thanksgiving thing. Originally, it was fun, then it became a defense mechanism, so that I didn't have to eat at my aunt and uncle's filthy house: dishes sticky when they come out of the cabinet, and a large dog with even larger ticks! Don't forget the bathroom No thanks!

I'm coming up on year 30 (THIRTY!) of being the Thanksgiving lady, and I'm over it.

No one ever brings anything good (aunt brings cranberry-who-the-hell-knows-what that only she eats!), no one helps clean up, and honestly, is it THAT hard to handle stemware? I am down to 4 glasses from 24!!! Another aunt got insulted when I asked someone else to bring the salad and not her, so big drama. Well, screw it, I never liked that weird onion salad.

So, DH and I are staying home and I'll make turkey and stuffing because it's one of the few things I'm good at. I might make one of my pies, with cherry on one side and apple on the other. No one else is invited. I'll tell them we're going to a restaurant if they ask. DD will be there, don't really care if DS and DIL come, they haven't come since they got married. We'll have a quiet day, good food, and we'll actually get to keep some of the leftovers for a change. The relatives used to come with coolers to take home leftovers! No freeloaders this time, and I bet my stemware will come out intact.

Are you hosting this year or not? Why?

 

[amc80]

Sort of. I like to host holidays because DS is 14 months old so traveling is a pain; it's easier for people to come to us. My family is small, my brother is single, and DH is an only child. There's no conflict as to where everyone is going to go.

This year will be a bit different. We get back from a family cruise the Sunday before, so we will all just have spent 8 days together. I'm guessing DH's parents will come to dinner (they live an hour away) but my parents won't (7 hours away).

 

[missy]

That's our holiday to host. That and Father's Day. We love hosting Thanksgiving-it's my favorite family holiday I think. I love the food and all the pies and the weather and maybe most of all the leftovers.

It's a lot of work sure but I am fortunate because my dh loves cooking and baking so he takes care of most everything. I make the salad and that's about it lol but it's a darn good salad. I also enjoy being in my own home vs traveling and being in someone else's home.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Frankly, I would rather poke my own eyeball out.

I did an "orphan Thanksgiving" my first year of law school. Eighteen people in an 800 square foot apartment with a 28 pound bird (YES, a 28 pound bird -- that was all they had left the day before) that I had to thaw out that morning by standing in the shower naked cradling it under the water because my apartment size sink wasn't big enough I couldn't bring myself to set it down in the tub. An experience I chose not to share with my guests, but one I will never forget...

Now I got to Phoenix to visit my friends. We drink. We hike. We drink. We eat. We drink. We drink some more. HAPPPPPY THANKSGIVING!

 

[monarch64]

Hahaha, oh, no. We will never get ourselves into that mess! We use the day to have a nice, relaxing morning (mimosas, phone calls to old out-of-town friends), and then we visit nearby family and friends. I doubt if anyone in our families would come even if we wanted to host--they wouldn't be able to get past the thought of a turkey-less Thanksgiving. We host plenty of other parties that people actually enjoy.

 

[kenny]

Frankly, I would rather poke my own eyeball out.
...
I had to thaw out that morning by standing in the shower naked cradling it under the water because my apartment size sink wasn't big enough I couldn't bring myself to set it down in the tub.

ROTHLMAO! I feel the same way about preferring to poke an eyeball out.
I am so over holiday hoopla!

That shower scene is hilarious.
I'll bet you both had goose-bumps ... well, turkey bumps.
Hey, do you have any pics of you in the shower with the gobbler?

No? Would you like to buy some?

 

[Dee*Jay]

Frankly, I would rather poke my own eyeball out.
...
I had to thaw out that morning by standing in the shower naked cradling it under the water because my apartment size sink wasn't big enough I couldn't bring myself to set it down in the tub.

OMG ROTHLMAO! I feel the same way about preferring to poke an eyeball out.
I am so over holiday hoopla!

That shower scene is hilarious.
Hey, do you have any pics of you in the shower with the gobbler?

No? Would you like to buy some?

Yah... let's just say we were both a little water logged after that experience...

 

[kenny]

Frankly, I would rather poke my own eyeball out.
...
I had to thaw out that morning by standing in the shower naked cradling it under the water because my apartment size sink wasn't big enough I couldn't bring myself to set it down in the tub.

OMG ROTHLMAO! I feel the same way about preferring to poke an eyeball out.
I am so over holiday hoopla!

That shower scene is hilarious.
Hey, do you have any pics of you in the shower with the gobbler?

No? Would you like to buy some?

Yah... let's just say we were both a little water logged after that experience...

You poor thing.
You must have had frozen arms and frozen #!##s holding a 28-pound frozen turkey all that time.

 

[iLander]

LOL, Kenny!

 

[kenny]

LOL, Kenny!

Well, isn't that how they make ice cream?

 

[iLander]

LOL, Kenny!

Well, isn't that how they make ice cream?

You're thinking of gelato . . .

 

[luv2sparkle]

I don't think so, but we haven't even discussed it yet. I won't unless my in-laws call and request/demand it. Frankly, I am even tired of cooking for my own kids! I would like to escape out of town, but I don't think that will happen.....plus my in laws live where I would escape too. Yup, they did that on purpose.

 

[Dee*Jay]

LOL, I think this thread get an award for Seriously Derailed So Early On!

 

[packrat]

We have my parents/brother and sil and possibly an aunt/uncle over. That's it. When we first got married we took over the hosting duties from my dad's side of the family and the first year was fine-the 2nd year I was due w/our first baby so we said we'd skip it and do it the following year, asking my aunt to take it back for just the one year...she declined and said if I was at the hospital there'd be nothing for JD to do so he could just run home and cook for everyone. So um yeah no.

 

[tammy77]

Apparently we are hosting this year. DH's dad and step mom asked to visit us over the holiday to meet the baby. It'll be nice to see them, but I'm already missing my down time.

 

[mary poppins]

DH and I haven't hosted yet. My dad is hosting this year. Not sure what we're going to bring yet.

Last year we cooked a turkey at home and brought it to his parents' house. Another year, we brought to his parents' house a side dish of mushrooms in red wine sauce.

 

[Matata]

We've been going to Sedona these past 2 yrs and will do it this year too. I miss cooking the meal because it's my favorite. Dee*Jay, we'll be so close!

 

[minousbijoux]

The holiday spirit is alive and well in this thread.

I don't know what to say, other than

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'm not sure what is happening yet.

My ideal Thanksgiving would be laying around in PJ and then watching a movie later on and have a couple beers.

I've hosted many Thanksgivings over the years and am sick of it bc my kids/husband don't help and everyone has food issues and I've tried to accommodate them, but when the crazy amount of restrictions reached critical mass, they decided to separate and do their own celebration (rather than sharing the workload) and I was told to cook for X amount of people in exchange for given $ to cover costs. That was last yr. i'm not a cook, chef, waitress, employee, so screw it.

I just want to see Catching Fire with my husband & kids. Make turkey sandwiches. Beer.

 

[justginger]

In the land of no Thanksgiving...

I have hosted large meals
Just DH and I have gone to nice dinners alone
and we've had small family-only dinners.

There was some talk of one of our friends and his husband hosting Thanksgiving this year - they're Yankophiles, so enjoy celebrating all of the American holidays with us. However, they're hosting a massive Halloween party on Nov 2, so we'll see if they have it in them to turn around and do Thanksgiving as well. If not, DH and I will be taking Option 2 this year and heading to Fraser's instead. Our holidays start a week later and I can't be bothered putting something big together.

 

[diamondringlover]

Yes I am hosting it for my family, there will be 14 people 12 adults and 2 little kids.....

 

[Rhea]

Yes, we are. I live in England and attempt, as best as possible, to do things such as celebrate holidays that mean a lot to me. My husband's British friends are always quite keen and seeing as I have very few friends of my own (it's hard to make friends as an adult in a large city) I always enjoy it.

I've been so upset about this year though. We normally have 8 - 13 people and so far this year no one has said they'll definitely be there. We have 2 who need to leave early so may just pop by for an hour (which is very sweet of them to try), 2 who will if they're in the country, and the other 7 haven't replied. It's a big deal to me. It's my holiday and I spend hours in the kitchen cooking and planning and we purposely eat late so that working people can come. There's a local pub that has Thanksgiving though so if no one can make it then DH & I will just go there.

I think I'm so disappointed in part because this I feel like it's a worst fear coming true. I have no family who can attend, and no friends of my own - just acquaintances. DH isn't close to his family and also finds it difficult to make friends so his social circle is small. DH is younger than me and recently his friends have started to get married and have children. The dynamics are quickly going to change and I'm not prepared for it by having my own social circle.

 

[Laila619]

Nope, we never host. We spend the day traveling to other peoples' Thanksgivings. We go to my grandma's retirement center where they have a delicious Thanksgiving feast professionally catered, then it's on to my other grandparents' house for a yummy home-cooked feast, and then the last stop is my DH's parents' house. The kids end up exhausted and crabby from such a long day.

 

[ame]

Never have, never will. We don't host people in our home. Ever.

 

[Smith1942]

My dad is determined to experience an American Thanksgiving so he and my mum are coming here, since my mum is well enough. I don't know how he thinks he's going to experience an American Thanksgiving in a British household. I've never cooked a turkey in my life, either.

 

[Smith1942]

Yes, we are. I live in England and attempt, as best as possible, to do things such as celebrate holidays that mean a lot to me. My husband's British friends are always quite keen and seeing as I have very few friends of my own (it's hard to make friends as an adult in a large city) I always enjoy it.

I've been so upset about this year though. We normally have 8 - 13 people and so far this year no one has said they'll definitely be there. We have 2 who need to leave early so may just pop by for an hour (which is very sweet of them to try), 2 who will if they're in the country, and the other 7 haven't replied. It's a big deal to me. It's my holiday and I spend hours in the kitchen cooking and planning and we purposely eat late so that working people can come. There's a local pub that has Thanksgiving though so if no one can make it then DH & I will just go there.

I think I'm so disappointed in part because this I feel like it's a worst fear coming true. I have no family who can attend, and no friends of my own - just acquaintances. DH isn't close to his family and also finds it difficult to make friends so his social circle is small. DH is younger than me and recently his friends have started to get married and have children. The dynamics are quickly going to change and I'm not prepared for it by having my own social circle.

Sorry to hear that, Rhea. If it's any consolation, it isn't you, the British do not make friends with anyone new after university. I lived in London for five years after college, and I made one friend, who was my flatmate, and I found her in the paper! I made friends at work but they were acquaintances really, and they were all living with their boyfriends so were all domesticated and didn't really go out. In the UK your social circle is set in stone by age 25 latest but more often by the time you leave college. It's really, really hard to make friends in the UK as an adult. Within a year of coming to the States, I had many more and much better friends than I had at home. Making friends is about a millions times easier in the States.

Daily life is quite the grind in England, with the trains all broken, the high taxes, so lots of young people don't have the money to do anything civilised like dinner and theatre, so people just go to the pub and drink - and if you're not a functional alcoholic, then you're pretty much out of it. Long commutes due to insane property prices near centres of work are another reason why I think people just get exhausted and can't be bothered to make new friends so much. So the weather, the difficult commutes, the cost of living - it all adds up to a populace that frequently isn't in the friendliest frame of mind! Daily life is so much easier in the States.

There is also a lot of petty jealousy in the UK, and I find that much, much less over here. I even lost the one friend I made in London after eight years when I got married. At that point, she started making snarky remarks and actually bitched about me to my wedding guests, on my wedding day. Suffice to say we haven't been in touch since then. But she was absolutely fine until very shortly before my wedding day, and then the old green-eyed monster reared its head. Also, the professional jealousy at work was unbelievable. Every time you did something good, your colleagues basically wanted to kill you. It never seemed to occur to them that they could also do something good.

Sorry for the threadjack, I was just struck by your message and wanted to tell you that it's not you! Both my husband and I had the same experiences in the UK re. friends. We do have good friends over there, but it's basically people we have known for most of our lives.

 

[NewShiny]

Ame,
Why? I'm just curious. My Dh and I love hosting parties, dinners, and random get togethers in our house. But we don't understand why some of our friends never return the favor. We don't mind becuase we'd rather have people come to us, but I truly wonder why others wouldn't enjoy having people over.

We are flying to see the inlaws this year, so we are not hosting Thanksgiving. I usually make my own Thanksgiving meal another day though, becuase she makes her turkey in a giant crock pot

Never have, never will. We don't host people in our home. Ever.

 

[Smith1942]

NewShiny - I'm rather of Ame's frame of mind, although my husband likes giving parties. The main reason I don't like to host is the amount of work. I'm very tidy and don't like lots of mess, and I feel the house needs to be relatively clean and tidy to host, and then there's the shopping, food prep, and the cleaning up afterward. It's just a huge amount of hassle, when you could meet out somewhere. I also feel that people are judging my place, and since we only have one bathroom, people see all my toiletries and cosmetics and private things, and I have to remove my medications from the bathroom beforehand - basically I find having people in my home to be an invasion of privacy. I would perhaps feel like this less if we had a family house, where the private areas such as bedrooms and bathrooms are hidden away upstairs.

I wonder if Ame feels similar? Look forward to her reply.

 

[chrono]

No way, no how! I can't cook and I hate to cook. I do help the hostess (never seen the host do this) clean up the mess, put away the leftovers, wash the dishes, etc.

 

[minousbijoux]

No way, no how! I can't cook and I hate to cook. I do help the hostess (never seen the host do this) clean up the mess, put away the leftovers, wash the dishes, etc.

Chrono: to me, this is the hardest part of hosting. You are welcome to any Tgiving I ever have at my house. Most of us who undertake host activities would kill for a guest like you. Listen, do you hear that? All over PS right now people are raising their hands and inviting you to Thanksgiving!