1st Baby in 1br Apartment?

[AmberWaves]

Hello everyone. My husband and I have decided to stop preventing and start "hoping" for our first baby. We both are either 29, or WILL be 29 this year, and we got married November ''07. As we lived together for 3 years before marriage, we''re positive we don''t need more "alone" time, and are prepared for a child. We currently live in a one bedroom apartment in Los Angeles, and are saving up for a downpayment on a house- unfortunately, having a house soon in LA is near impossible as everything is so expensive. Until we can afford it,(we keep socking away the savings), we believe it would be possible to raise a baby in this apartment for at least a year/two years.

We have great insurance, plenty of space, and a ton of family around with yards and things like that. Would anyone mind sharing their opinion on first babies raised in a 1 bedroom apartment for a year or two?

 

[oobiecoo]

My FI''s sister had a baby when she and her husband were living in a 1 bedroom. She hated it and I imagine there aren''t alot of choices if you need to escape the crying. I don''t think it''s entirely impossible though. Would the baby share a room with you or would he have a little nook somewhere else? I would recommend a room divider or hanging curtain divider. I think if you plan/think ahead then it could definitely work!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Hopefully Curly will chime in b/c she is an expert. I think it is possible...difficult, probably. T sleeps *so* much better in her own room. Can you convert a dining room or a corner of your living room in baby space?

 

[AmberWaves]

oobie, thanks for responding! Well, we have a very large one bedroom, and I'm torn between sharing a room (although I think I will for at least a few months) and just dividing up the living room, which is actually very spacious. As for needing room to escape the crying, we'll actually be spending a lot of time at my dad's house, where there are guest rooms and plenty of room between houses so no neighbors will complain. We live across the street from a very large park, and have all sorts of things within walking distance. The amount of time we'd actually spend in the apartment will be limited, mostly to nights and evenings, weekends will most likely be spent with family and friends (Dad plans on having a nursery for the baby in his house). Thanks so much for the advice!

ETA: Tacori! I was hoping to hear from Curly, or Ephemery or someone else in my position (or soon to be position, fingers crossed), but I hope I answered part of your question. We have room for a crib in our bedroom, as well as a baby dresser/changing pad (I don't want a changing table, as I've nannied for a decade and never used it), and things like that, as well as plenty of room in the living room for playthings, chairs, cribs and whatnot. Also, wish Tessa a happy 5 month birthday! I'll always remember the date as it's my exact wedding date!

 

[ephemery1]

We're doing it! We have a 950 sf, 1 bedroom, 1 bath apartment in Philly. We have plenty of space for just the two of us, and never really feel crowded (other than the kitchen is a bit small), so fortunately we're starting out with good attitudes about it. We're planning to set up the baby's "nook" in a 5ft x 10ft corner of the main living area, that's currently serving as a dining room. The dining room table (that we've never once used) will be moved to where our desk is currently, to serve as sort of a desk/dining space behind the couch/TV space... if that makes any sense at all.

We're getting a stroller that has a bassinet function, so when the baby is little, we'll wheel it right into the bedroom with us at night. After that, if we prefer to keep the baby in there rather than the main living area, we can always adjust our plans. There is definitely enough room in the bedroom for that, with a bit of maneuvering.

So those are our basic plans, but we're staying very flexible and figure we'll play it by ear once the baby actually arrives!

Oh, and Curlygirl has a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment in NYC, with another on the way, so I'm sure she'll have lots of feedback when she stops by this thread!!

ETA -- This is a temporary arrangement for us too, with plans to move out of the city within about 2 years. But in the meantime, we're genuinely excited to get to share our favorite parts of the city with our first child... it is definitely a unique experience!

 

[AmberWaves]

Ephemery, thank you so much for responding. It''s so good to know you''re not alone. I agree with you on so many things. I was planning on one of those co-sleepers (is that the right term? For the bed/bassinet type thing that rolls beside the bed with that side open?) for the first few months as I''m hoping to breastfeed. We also have a dining room table that is pretty much never used (maybe twice in our time here), and a desk that is also never used. We plan on using a lot of the space that''s taken up by meaningless items as "baby-space" because to be honest, we never use them and it already takes up so much room that could be used for much more. As with you, our kitchen is small, but having a 6''2" 300lb husband, if HE doesn''t feel crowded in a 1br apartment, I have good faith we''ll be okay with a baby.

I also would love to share my city-heritage with a baby, as I was raised here myself, and it''s really one of a kind, as it''s kind of a suburb of Los Angeles. I feel there is so much to show a baby.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Amber can you believe you have been married/ I have been a mom for 5 months? Ekkk! Time is flying by. She is sleeping on my lap as I type.

I think you can make anything work. Of course our house is 3200 sf so easy for me to say

! I think you do have to mainstream and buy what you REALLY need. Or things that have double functions. Like have a pack ''n play instead of crib, travel swing instead of full size, etc....

 

[AmberWaves]

Aww, Tacori, you are so lucky. 5 months just flew by as a wife, but as a mother, I can''t even imagine the changes you saw daily! I agree with you, perhaps multi-tasking items are the best idea for us (dresser/changer, stroller/bassinet...), and it will help the baby get used to sleeping wherever she/he is. I just want make sure it''s all feasible.

 

[ephemery1]

Amber, your situation sounds so similar to ours! I am honestly not concerned about it all, and neither is DH. Sure, there are inconveniences... but there are a lot of conveniences too, and for us, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. We may end up doing a co-sleeper instead of using the stroller-as-bassinet option, too. Or we may end up just setting up the actual nursery space in our bedroom, but as of now, I think it makes more sense to use all that unused space out in our living area. We may end up putting up a temporary divider or curtain at some point. We should post pix to get people's ideas on all this!

A few more thoughts (since I've been thinking about it for quite some time now!

): If someone is used to living in a rural/suburban area with tons of space indoors and outdoors, I can imagine it would be a tough adjustment to suddenly have a baby in a 1 bedroom apartment. But since I'm already accustomed to sharing a "small" space with my DH, I don't think adding in a baby is going to make THAT terrible of a difference. Or put it this way: having a baby is a huge adjustment in and of itself! So really, the amount of physical space it takes up, amounts to a pretty insignificant part of that overall adjustment. And I've been told by other city parents that it's actually very convenient to have the baby within arm's reach at all times. Plus I'm a big believer in keeping things minimal when possible (for environmental, financial, AND mental health reasons

), so this will definitely prevent us from filling our home with a ton of unnecessary baby items.

Another comparison: I babysit for a little girl in an apartment here in the city, and also babysit for my cousins' girls sometimes out in the 'burbs. For me, it is a ZILLION MILLION times more fun watching the little city girl... everyone in her building knows her by name, we have a park right outside so when we go downstairs to the "backyard", there are always a ton of other kids there to play with, we go across the street to the bookstore all the time, have a snack at the cafe downstairs, etc. Watching my cousins' girls feels soooo much more isolated. Sure there are other people in the neighborhood, but going to the park or bookstore or cafe or even grocery store is a huge production, rather than a 1-minute stroll outside... and it's just so much less social and "connected" feeling. And for me, that's important... I am prone to depression and thrive much better on the "liveliness" of the city.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I am very lucky! I love watching how she grows and all the milestones she achieves. It''s hard (still not sleeping through the night) but worth it. I am completely in love with this little girl.

We just got make from visiting my parents and she slept in a PNP at almost 5 months with PLENTY of room. I think it would be fine. Plus you can raise the "mattress" to use in the early months as a bedside sleeper.

 

[AmberWaves]

It''s soooo good to hear all this. Ephemery, we have a Trader Joes, an Albertsons, our bank, a Longs Drug Store and a Coffee Bean all within a 5 minute walk. I myself walk to each of these places daily, so it''s not like I''m super dependent on something an unbelievable distance away. I must say, though. The one thing keeping me here is my dad, who is also a block away in the home I grew up in. It is out of the question to leave him and our family here. My brother moved to Sydney last year, and now has a 1 month old. The first grandchild in the family and my parents haven''t seen her yet, since it''s so expensive to fly out there. I can see how heartbreaking it is for them, and I refuse to let them miss out on another tier of grandchildren!

I also agree with keeping things to the minimum, besides game consoles (hubby loves him some playstation), we really have nothing other than bookshelves in our place. It''s very... clean lined.

We should totally start up a picture thread of 1 bedroom apartment living for three people!

Tacori, I''m really glad to hear all of that. I have hope!

 

[LitigatorChick]

Amber, you can have the baby sleep in bed with you!!! That saves space! I would also look into a great baby carrier like the Baby Bjorn for little trips around the neighbourhood.

 

[AmberWaves]

Litchick, it''s so funny because my husband is really wanting a baby bjorn. He absolutely craves one. Of course I''ll have to get it for him! I''m really starting to think it''s not just possible to have a 1br baby, but also maybe be very easily done! Thanks everyone!

 

[LitigatorChick]

My DH loved the Baby Bjorn too!!! We made lines with marker for where the straps went for him and for me, since we were always trading!

 

[curlygirl]

I'm here!! You gals know me so well--this is one of my favorite topics!!! I will NEVER discourage someone from having a baby in a one bedroom apartment!

As you know we live in a one bedroom in NYC with our baby and it's been great. Seriously, we have plenty of room and it hasn't really affected our "grown up" condo at all! We have a dining area which has become Lily's area and it has worked out really well. We have her crib, changing table and big toy box thingy there. We were going to put up a wall and probably would if #2 was not on the horizon

but even without a wall, it's just fine. I actually think it's great because we've gotten her used to sleeping while there are other things going. We keep some of the lights on, watch tv, do our own stuff, fight sometimes

and she sleeps right through it all.

In terms of her stuff, my closet is really huge and divided up with shelves and different levels of hanging rods so I've given her a whole rod for her massive wardrobe, plus a shelf for other goodies like shoes, blankets, socks, hair accessories, etc. She also has a drawer in my dresser for all of her other clothes and I really didn't have to sacrifice too much! So it really does work for us and we planned to stay in our apartment for at least 2 years with just her. It's completely doable--don't even think twice and don't be sucked in by all the people who tell you a baby HAS to have its own room/space/etc. It's not true at all. They need very little to survive, trust me!

Now my situation has become a little more confusing with a second one on the way. We weren't prepared for this at all but plan to make it work for as long as we can! We'll keep #2 in our room for at least 3 months like we did with Lily and probably longer! Then we might have to give up another part of our living room for his/her space but we're honestly not even thinking about it yet. I'm a very "go with the flow" kind of person so I can't even think past today and have promised myself to not think about our future living situation until it becomes a reality! Fortunately we own our place and in NYC, the real estate market has not taken as big a hit as in the rest of the country so we're pretty much sitting on a gold mine. I've also already hinted to our neighbors that we'd be interested in buying them out and knocking down walls to create one big apartment but it's just a dream until we actually have to deal with it! But that's my problem, not yours!

Anyway, I say GO FOR IT! Start working on that babymaking and don't give the apartment situation another thought. It will all work out great!! Please let me know if you have any questions at all. I'm happy to be an enabler!!

eta: We really don't have lots of baby gadgetry around. She had a bouncy seat as a baby and before we got the crib and changing table, we used the pack n play with the bassinet and changing table attachments. She has a high chair thingy that just attaches to one of our dining chairs (Fisher Price makes it and it's awesome--Space Saver something or other). We used an activity mat when she was small but that just folds up for easy storage. Never used a swing--didn't need it. No exersaucer or other big, ugly baby stuff. They REALLY don't need that much, seriously. An empty water bottle, a mirror and a piece of tissue paper will entertain her for HOURS! We love the Bjorn and have even used it indoors to soothe her. Our biggest ticket item was the Bugaboo stroller which we really need in NYC but in LA, you can probably get something less pricey if you're in and out of the car a lot. Ok, enough out of me. I could go on forever!!!!

 

[AmberWaves]

Curlygirl!! I am so glad to see you here! Everyone really made me feel so good about this, and your story especially! I swear, when I was a kid, I had one baby doll and a stuffed bear and I was happy as a clam. Funny thing is, I didn''t even THINK of closest space, which doesn''t matter as we have so much room in our closets. It''s almost a joke as we have so much room but not that much stuff!

Hopefully I can look to you mommies and mommies to be when the time comes to help me maximize the potential in our apartment. Seriously, thank you all soooo much. It''s great to know that it can be (and has been) done!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I think a lot of people sleep with the baby in their room in a crib or pack and go for the first several months. It''s just such a precious time that you never get back, and especially with first babies, people tend to be very protective and careful.

Babies really don''t require as much as we like to think they do. (Not space, anyway!)

 

[FrekeChild]

This is totally doable.

My brother and his wife live in a 1br with a 5 year old, a 1.5 year old and another one on the way...due sometime this month. So that will be 2 parents and 3 children in a one bedroom apartment. Somewhere in L.A. So, if they can do it, I'm sure you can.

By the way, they are doing this despite the fact that they were offered a FREE FIVE BEDROOM house on a lake in Tennessee. But that is another story that has to do with "...the ocean..."

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks Fisher and Freke! First of all, it''s good to know that even though our kids won''t be living in a luxurious home, they will be totally rich in love!!! So cheesy, forgive me...

Freke, you REALLY made me feel so much better about it. Thank you! Fisher, you''re always so optimistic, it''s fabulous. Thank you, too.

 

[diamondfan]

Babies need some stuff, but you can pare down with some though. As long as you have a place for you guys to be alone if need be, I see no issue with it. Is there a place to put a crib and a high chair and maybe a swing and other gear? I think my only concern would be is where does the baby sleep, and if you and hubby are making noise watching tv or wanting to be intimate, is there a way for you to do so privately or without disturbing the baby? During the day, I think normal noise like phones and vacuums, dogs and doorbells, is fine, let baby get used to it since day time is not always silent. But at night, if you two want to talk or whatnot, you might want to be able to do so in space that is separate from the baby...and if you want to have people over, it would mean the baby could not be in the living room, for example.

I guess it depends how your apartment is laid out. If you have a nook or spot out of your room, great, and then if you have people over you could move the baby into your room for that night. I often had my son near me, my middle, because he had terrible reflux and I panicked he would vomit in his sleep so I put his bassinet right next to me. I wanted to be able to check him a lot during the night. Also, our first house was a 4 bedroom, we had our nanny in one, our first son in one, one room was hubby's home office and then we had our room. When my second son arrived, he would cry at night and keep my older one up, who was then in pre school. We decided we needed two more bedrooms so that each kid could have their own and we could even have a room for company. But that was a while into the marriage.

 

[AmberWaves]

Thank you for responding, DF. We have a relatively large apartment, the only small spaces being the kitchen and bathroom (although with my XXXL husand, I think they''d be normal sized rooms when he''s not standing in them), with a ton of space in the living room, and our bedroom as well. I''m thinking of keeping a corner of the living room for baby things like a bassinet, a swing, one of those cool chair things, stuff like that. There are also 2br apartments in our building, so I may see if we can switch to one of those, should the need arise. Thank you for commenting!

 

[asscherisme]

I see no issues with it at all. I would however aim to get the child his/her own bedroom before they were one or 18 months at the oldest. But since you don''t know how long it will take to get pregnant and even if its right away, 9 months for the baby to grow and then another year until the first birthday, even if you are pregnant in a week, you have almost 2 years to need more space!

My best friend in Brooklyn kept her baby in her bedroom until he was 14 months old and then bought a 2 bedroom apartment in the same building so he had his own room.

Funny story- my parents lived in a studio apartment when they had my older bedroom. The apartment was just one huge room and a walk iin closet. So until my brother was almost 2 years old (and by then my mother was 8 months pregnant with me) my brother slept in the walk in closet!! He grew up and became a PhD, wonderful guy, happily married, great dad. So living in a walk in closet for almost 2 years did not affect him at all

 

[diamondfan]

If you could snag one of the two bedrooms that would be so ideal!

You could really stay put for a while, which would be awesome, since you love the area.

I think that is your most perfect solution if the rent increase is doable and a two bedroom becomes available!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 4/4/2008 10:21:52 PM
Author: diamondfan
If you could snag one of the two bedrooms that would be so ideal!


You could really stay put for a while, which would be awesome, since you love the area.


I think that is your most perfect solution if the rent increase is doable and a two bedroom becomes available!

I agree, but keep in mind my baby is NOT a good sleeper and even worse when she shared our room (she could smell my milk, DH snores, alarms go off, phone rings etc...) I am not saying that some noise isn''t good but she is 100% better in her own space.

 

[AmberWaves]

Asscher, thank you for your input! I think I''m asking this now "just in case" we end up striking oil on our first try. I''ve also been thinking about the possible time it could take between getting pregnant, gestation and then the months that are a necessity to have the baby close by. In that time we could be in a two bedroom by then!

DF and Tacori, I totally agree with you, a 2br apartment would be a perfect solution for the time we''re saving our money. I''ll put the word in to our landlord!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 4/3/2008 7:51:18 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly
I think a lot of people sleep with the baby in their room in a crib or pack and go for the first several months. It''s just such a precious time that you never get back, and especially with first babies, people tend to be very protective and careful.

Babies really don''t require as much as we like to think they do. (Not space, anyway!)

Oh, Fisher, I think you can have a baby in a one br apt., but I would never suggest that the baby sleep in the room with the parents after the first couple of weeks or so. Babies can make a lot of noises while they sleep, and I found it impossible to sleep well with a baby in the room. You need YOUR sleep when the baby sleeps, so I do recommend putting the baby in another room to sleep. The monitor will wake you when the baby cries! Sleep is precious when you have a newborn, trust me! (Tacori can confirm this!)

 

[diamondfan]

See? It is all all worked out!

If you are ttc, you still have many months, in which time a two bedroom could certainly become available. I will cross my fingers!

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks DF, I''m totally skulking about our complex looking in windows and inquiring about their bedroom amounts.

 

[diamondfan]

You could also stand at the mail box or in the laundry near people who have two bedroom apts and casually mention the toxic mold problem in the building...tee hee