What Should I Be Doing 9 Months Out?

[Haven]

I have the checklists from my Emily Post Wedding Planner, and I went on The Knot website and was told that I have 38 items overdue (!!!!) but I'm still really at a loss for what I should be doing in terms of planning right now.

I get the feeling I should be overwhelmed with items to take care of because all of my bridesmaids keep asking me what they can do, they talk about how much they were doing for their weddings, and ask if I want to spend all day Saturday doing wedding stuff. My response: "Um, well, I guess we could do wedding stuff on Saturday. But, ummmm, what wedding stuff is there to do?"

The big question: What wedding planning items took hours out of your weekends to put together? What could I possibly spend an entire Saturday planning? What am I missing here?

Our wedding date is July 4, 2008, and these are the things we have done already:
(I feel like I'm ahead, but why is everyone asking me if I'm overwhelmed? Should I be overwhelmed?!)

- Ceremony and reception site, as this was very easy because we're using my family's synagogue which is GORGEOUS and very affordable, of course.
- Ordered my dress. This was so easy because it was really the only thing I was very excited to do.
- Made the guest list. This wasn't exactly easy, but it's done (for now!)
- I purchased a very traditional guest sign in book, but only because it was on sale and it was just what I wanted. (It was $3, can you imagine?
- I have set appointments to meet with two caterers over the next two weeks.
- I've asked all my bridesmaids to stand up, and one of our flower girls. We'll be asking the other flower girl and our ring bearer this weekend.
- I've set up registries at our three choice locations: Bloomingdale's, Crate & Barrel, and Tiffany. We haven't chosen many items yet, but we're working on it.
- We've chosen our china, which was easy--it matches my mother's and my grandmother's china.
- I've spent an exorbitant amount of money on wedding magazines! I can't get enough of Martha Stewart, I just can't!

We know what we want for the following items, but haven't done anything with them yet:

- The decor colors: black & white, and lemon yellow.
- The cake
- The rings (like a good PSer, of course!)
- The invites (we're doing everything traditional formal, so there isn't much wiggle room, anyway. Makes things easier!)
- The music (jazz band)
- The bridesmaids are going to choose whatever dresses and accessories they want and love when we all get together in December

So when I set aside time to "plan the wedding" on the weekends, I just find myself browsing through magazines and daydreaming! What should I be doing?

(If you're wondering why I'm so worried about this, it's because I literally do not have time to do any planning during the week, so each weekend really counts. I teach full time, go to grad school at night on Tuesdays and Thursdays, coach Speech Team on Monday nights, tutor on Wednesday nights, and spend every waking weekday hour lesson planning, grading papers, and writing papers! (And, ahem, taking breaks by browsing PS . . .) So I need to be taking advantage of my weekends!)

Please help a clueless bride, ladies! I feel like a slacker, here!

 

[Harleigh]

Well, crap, Have! 9 months out??? Is that all the time I have left??? My date is 7/22/08...

So far, I have the following completed, or, well, started, at least!

(Pay close attention to my LACK of completion in ALL areas now...this should make you feel LOTS better, Haven!):

-We finally chose our location in Maui just LAST week!
-Wedding coordinator was chosen at the same time...(the 2 go together!)
-Bridesmaids dresses have been purchased...have no idea if they fit 2 of the girls, but at $24.99 each at ROSS, they will just have to make do at this point!
-Guys shirts have been bought...just found out they are now on clearance for $11 at Mervyn''s...do I go back and rebuy???
-Took engagement photos on Sunday with FI''s aunt...won''t get disc till next Sunday...could maybe have prints done by next Tuesday at the earliest, I''m guessing...also learned that FI''s aunt could not physically handle covering a whole wedding, so now we need a photographer, too!
-Also, now that I saw FI in a cream shirt in the photos on Sunday, we need to try to find him the matching shirt in CREAM-I hit 2 Mervyn''s today, and NADA! (Note to self-must go to ALL Mervyn''s within a 60-mile radius this week!)
-Have contacted restaurant we want to have the reception at in Lahaina 4 times and have gotten no response...really not sure what to do about that!
-Ordered "Will you be my ___________ cards, BM, MOH, etc...custom made with personalization...have NO idea when these will get here! 2 of my 4 girls I have already informally asked said yes, but 1 has already definitely flaked out and the other one I''m pretty sure will, too, but I''m sending the damn things to them anyway, or finding new friends with the same names!)
-Have finally nailed our families down for names and addresses of people we need to invite...FI is still falling short on his duties in this dept., but we now have a VERY rough guest list...arghhh!
-Have begun gathering items for the STD boxes...still need to order the business cards I''m making the luggage tags out of, but don''t have all of the information for them! Arghhh!
-Have begun gathering things for the Out of Town welcome bags...actually have most of the stuff, just need the actual BAGS to put all the stuff in and figure out how on earth we''ll be getting it all there!
-Bought sparkly fuschia flip-flops for the girls to wear after the ceremony...on clearance for $2.48 at Target. Goofed on one of the sizes, still need a 7, but they have taken them off of the shelves already...double arghhhhhh!
-Have all my girls'' attendant gifts...personalized monogram bracelets, silver friends pic. frame...still need to make matching jewlery for the wedding day, tho!
-Bought 6 or 7 dresses on ebay for myself and have actually finally settled on 1 of them...just need to have the straps let out, but otherwise it fits PERFECTLY!!!
-Found DIY invitations with silver embossing at Big Lots tonight for $2.00 for a box of 40 with envelopes, response cards and silver seals. For $2.00 a box, I can mess these up ALL I want!!!

I''m sure there''s more I could bore you with, but I''m drawing a blank right now! All I''ve really done is find a bunch of GREAT deals (by the way, where on earth did you find a guest book for $3??? You rock!

) that might not really matter if we can''t get the rest of the stuff figured out and completed in time! We have no travel plans made, no idea where we''re staying, we can''t get a reception planned and I fear I am losing my mind at this point! We have no minister, music, photographer, videographer, etc...

There, did that make you feel any better???

Maybe you could post Emily Post''s To-Do list and we can help keep each other on track...because I am WAY more behind than you are, and I am feeling the pain right about now! None of my family or friends seem to care about any wedding plans...I''m sure some of them will help if I ask them to, but since I have no idea what I need done, I don''t have anything yet, just like you!

I hope your things fall into place...it really does sound like you have a good grasp on things, so I wouldn''t worry about it too much! Hang in there! We''ll suffer through together!

 

[zoebartlett]

Good morning ladies!

Well, it looks as if my wedding is right in between both of yours (7/12/0. Here''s what I have done so far, and maybe it will help a little, Haven. I do have to say though that every time I check the Knot I get anxious, so I''ve started to take it with a grain of salt, so to speak.

So far we''ve:

booked the ceremony and reception site (same place -- a restaurant)
caterers (since it''s at a restaurant, this took no effort on our part -- but we haven''t chosen the food yet)
booked photographer
booked DJ
booked florist (this was done over the weekend after our first meeting)
my dress, veil, and wrap have been ordered -- I just need shoes and a comb for the veil
my sister''s MOH dress is ordered (she''s my only attendant)
we''ve worked on the guest list and although it changes somewhat over time, it''s mostly set
we have our save the date cards (we just have to print the envelopes, seal and stamp them before sending them off)
taken engagement photos
written the engagement announcement (but we still need to send it to the papers)
blocked off rooms at a hotel near the venue
worked on a wedding website (needs tweaking but it has some good info. so far for guests to read through)
my wedding band is here since we ordered it at the same time as my engagement ring
booked our officiant


This weekend we''re planning on:

going shopping for a wedding band for my FI (just to try them on to get an idea of styles he likes, then we''re going to order the ring through WF)
work on the ceremony (the officiant provided a menu of things and we basically just need to choose between the different options under each "category" of the ceremony)
print, seal, and stamp the save the date cards so we can mail them out on Monday (hopefully)

Okay, I need a nap.....

 

[Mandarine]

Haven...relax!

You''re way ahead of me and my wedding is in February!.

The only thing I can think of and I don''t think they''re on your list is OOT Hotels, Save the dates and set up a wedding website.

I''m not even looking at the knot planner because it would just drive me insane!!!...I have in my head what needs to be done right now vs things I can wait for another month.

On another topic. Love your colors by the way, I''m doing similar but green rather than yellow. So if you have ideas to share with the colors or decor, please do!

M~

 

[Haven]

Thanks, ladies! I do feel a bit better after reading your responses. The problem is that I feel like I''m not doing enough yet but I don''t even know where to begin!

Harleigh--Tell me about it! We don''t have much time left at all! Your wedding is going to be so beautiful in Maui, I can''t wait to see pictures. You are so on top of everything, I feel like I am so far behind!
I would definitely go back to Mervyn''s and ask for a price adjustment for the men''s shirts, I don''t know the store but most will adjust the price. If not, return and rebuy! The flip flops for your girls sound ADORABLE! And I know I''ve said it before but I LOVE YOUR DRESS! It is so beautiful. I still think you should have several costume changes during your wedding so you can wear all of those dresses!
I bought the guest book at Hobby Lobby--it is your traditional white leather book, thin, with Guests embossed on the front. I really wanted a traditional sign-in book, so it''s perfect.
I''ll post my Emily Post list when I get home tonight!

Zoe--You are on top of things, too! Wow, I''m glad you posted everything you''ve done because it''s definitely going to get me moving.

Mandarine--Thank you for calming me down! I do feel like I need to get myself moving on things, because I have a tendency to drag my feet until the last minute. I love your colors! Green is my favorite color, and we''re actually thinking of having very pale green accents in things, too. I will post any pictures I find--black and white anything is my favorite!

So, compared to you lovely ladies, I need to get moving on the following:
- Bridesmaid dresses
- Engagement photos
- Engagement announcement
- Get guests'' addresses (!)
- Save the Dates
- OOT welcome bags
- Hotel blocks
- Attendant gifts
- Photographer
- Band
- Shoes

This is good, I feel like I have a real working checklist, now. Now it''s just a matter of actually doing these things . . .

 

[Cleopatra]

Haven:

Don''t forget about a florist (i don''t think i saw florist on your list) if you are getting flowers....Apparently they book up very fast also!

 

[strmrdr]

Need to book your Photographer.
They are filling up fast for that time of year.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Haven,

Trust me, you are doing great (as are ALL of you!) I think many of us weren''t even engaged 9 months beforehand. Our engagement was about 6 months and I still felt there was a ton of downtime. I think it''s time to set some time aside on the weekends--I had no time during the week either--but don''t let the wedding eat into your normal weekend activities, you know? My goal was to do "normal" things like golf, go rock climbing, take weekend vacations without letting the wedding dominate the weekend and it worked out really well. I felt like i had a normal summer and the wedding itself was perfect. Be sure to ENJOY this--I think if you were to focus on the wedding every weekend for the next 9 months you''d go coocoo!

You have the dress, you have the venue, the rest will fall into place. Just prioritize what is most important to you and go from there. Caterers, photographer, officiant, florist, musician(s), cake, rings, invites, attendants'' attire (male and female), etc. can all be dealt with over the next several months. You''ll be surprised at how quickly it goes!